Mysteries of Tomorrow

Chapter 13

Kath's POV

"Kath" pag tawag niya ulit sa pangalan ko, pero hindi ko siya nilingon. I still don't wanna talk to him.

"wait lang pare, wag mo muna siya lapitan. ayaw ka niyang kausapin" rinig kong pag awat ni Julian sa kanya.

"ano bang pake mo ha? wag ka ngang makielam dito" bakas ang inis sa boses ni Dylan.

"Kath, come on baby talk to me." sabi niya ulit na may halong pag mamakaawa ang boses niya. tinignan ko siya pero walang ekspresyon ang nasa mukha ko.

"what?" I coldly look at him.

"come on let's talk, I know you saw the photos and I can explain." his voice broke when he said that.

I chuckled bitterly.

"explain what? explain on how you f****d each other that night?!" I said while still looking at him emotionless.

"you know that I don't like cheaters, dahil ayokong maexperience ulit yung sakit na naramdaman ko nung iniwan kami ni dad. pero ikaw?! ikaw pa na pinaka pinag kakatiwalaan ko.... ikaw pa na mahal ko ang gumawa sakin non." my voice broke and my stupid tears started streaming down my face. alam kong madaming tao ang nanonood samin ngayon, but I don't care I just wanna take off the things on my chest.

I can see the bodyguards coming closer in the corner of my eyes but I didn't care. I don't care about their presence at all.

"no, no It's not what it looks like. hindi yon totoo Kath, please let me explain baby." he pleaded.

"not what it looks like huh? I saw it with my own eyes Dylan, I went to your condo that day. I f*ucking saw you and Addison sleeping together n***d. sa monthsary natin mo pa talaga ginawa yon ha?! was that your surprise to me? to see you sleeping n***d with another woman?! well that really is a surprise!" sigaw ko sa kanya. nang hihina na ang mga paa ko at nahihirapan na din akong huminga. I grabbed my chest at napapikit nalang ako dahil sa sakit. the next thing I know is that everything went black.

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"Kath, Kath! baby are fine now?" I woke up seeing the person I don't wanna see. tumingin ako sa paligid at nakitang nandito na ko sa kwarto ko. anu ba yan kakagising ko lang tapos nawalan nanaman ako ng malay.

"sino nag dala sakin dito?" walang emosyon kong tanong sa kanya.

"I brought you here, I was so worried. okay ka na ba? may masakit ba sayo?" he worriedly asked.

hindi ko siya tinignan dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako okay. I maybe healthy on the outside but i'm dying on the inside.

"may gana ka pang tanungin ako kung okay ako, when you know yourself that I'm not okay." sumbat ko sa kaniya habang naka tingin lang sa pader. naramdaman kong hinawakan niya ang braso.

"baby, come on let me explain. please I'm begging you I don't wanna lose you. it was an accident okay?" he said almost crying. this time I looked at him unbelievably. accident? tsk.

"accident? accident my a*s, so what happened? you accidentally f*cked each other? may ganon pala, hindi naman ako na-informed." I sarcastically said. it's the usual cheater explanation, yung 'it was an accident' 'hindi ko sinasadya' ganon.

"w-what? no, it's not like that—" I cutted him off.

"let's break up." I said out of a sudden. I wanna cry but I'm tired of crying. I wanna be soft but being soft is not good all the time.

"what? no baby, let's talk about it. please, gagawin ko ang lahat para mapatunayan kong ikaw lang talaga ang mahal ko. please Kath, I can't lose you. hindi ko kaya ng wala ka. please let me explain. give me a chance." sabi niya at umiiyak na siya ngayon. I hate seeing him cry, seeing him cry makes me wanna cry too. pero kailangan isa sa amin ay sumuko for the better.

he started hugging me, and God knows how much I wanna hug him back. pero ayoko siyang paasahin, dahil baka akalain niya ay ready na akong makipag balikan sa kanya.

"let. go. now." matigas kong sabi pero hindi pa din siya bumibitaw at umiiyak pa din siya sa tiyan ko.

"let go now Dylan. parehas lang tayong mahihirapan dito." I pushed him away. he looked at me with full sadness in his eyes, it's like he's telling me something pero hindi ko yon maintindihan.

umalis na siya. pag alis niya ay tsaka ko binuhos ang aking mga luha na kanina ko pa gustong ilabas. hindi ba dapat masaya at okay ako dahil inalis ko ang taong pwedeng sumira sa akin? pero bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko? puro lungkot. why does life have to be like this? why does it have to be cruel? why can't I, we be happy?

pero sabi nga nila, we have good days and we have bad days. kung may mangyari sayong maganda ay may mangyayari din sayo na hindi maganda. that's how life works.

I cried till I fell asleep that night. hindi ako kumain or anything. hindi ako lumabas ng kwarto at buong gabi ay nasa kama lang ako crying. I know it's not good for my health but I don't know what to do anymore.

the morning came and I don't wanna go to school, kaya hindi ako pumasok. kumatok si kuya kanina sa kwarto ko at tinanong kung gusto ko bang pumasok, he just looked at me atsaka siya umalis and I didn't even answered him, I guess he can tell just by looking at me that I'm not well and that I'm not in the mood to go to school.

all day I was just in my room, binge watching movies or di kaya naman ay umiiyak. the maid keep knocking on my door telling me to eat pero hindi ko sila pinag bubuksan, wala akong gana kumain. kung magutom man ako ay pasikreto akong baba sa kusina at kukuha ng snacks. even though it's not good for me, I don't care at the moment.

kinahapunan ay naka tulog ako, napagod siguro kakaiyak. nagising nalang ako ay 7 pm na.

*knock knock*

"sis? kain na." rinig kong sabi ng taong nasa labas. boses palang ay kilala ko na plus si Kuya lang naman ang tumatawag sa akin ng sis.

"I'll just eat later!" sigaw ko para sure na maririnig niya. it's true though, I will eat once I get my appetite back and once that i'm hungry.

"Kath? honey?" rinig kong sabi ni mommy at bumukas ang pinto. naka lock yun ah? ay oo nga pala may susi, dapat pala kinuha ko kanina yung susi.

"anak, come and eat with us. sabi ng mga maids ay hindi ka daw kumain buong araw at puro snacks lang ang kinakain mo." pano nila nalaman yon? wala namang tao kapag kumukuha ako ng snacks ah?

"ayoko mommy, I'm not hungry yet." which is true naman. busog pa ako.

"kanina ka pa hindi kumakain. and our ulam is adobo~ it's your favorite, pinaluto namin yun ng kuya mo dahil yun ang favorite mo. kaya halika ka na." si mommy talaga. alam na alam niya na hindi ako makakatanggi when it come to adobo.

"mommy naman eh, you know me so well." tumayo ako at nag suklay ng onti dahil mukha akong bruha.

sabay-sabay kaming ang punta ng dining area at sabay-sabay kumain. now that I think of it, never kaming nag kasabay sabay kumain kasama si Daddy. maybe when we were young yes, pero I can't remember it.

"are you fine now Kath?" nag aalalang tanong ni kuya, I know he's worried kakambal ko yan eh, he knows me so well. tumango ako sa kanya at kumain ulit.

"gusto mo bang bugbugin namin siya? pag tulungan namin nila Tyler." pabiro niyang sabi sabay tawa, tumawa nalang din ako.

"I'm fine, papasok nako bukas." tumango naman siya. pagkatapos kumain ay nauna nang pumasok si kuya sa kwarto niya. pero ako nag dessert pako ng brownies.

brownies.... I might not eat brownies again for a while. it brings me back memories, memories that is really fun but I don't wanna remember.

"Kath, I know what happened and I know that your not fine." mommy said starting a conversation.

"you know Kath, sometimes being broken and sad is not a bad thing at all." tumabi sa akin si mommy at inaayos ang buhok ko na parang bata.

"I know what it feels. dahil katulad mo ay niloko din ako, ng daddy mo. at first I feel like my world has been crashed. akala ko wala nang saysay ang buhay ko dahil wala siya, pero you know what Kath? I found my strength again na hindi ko nakita dahil sa sobrang pagkawasak ko. at kayo yon ng kuya mo." it feel weird talking to my mom like this. but her advices are great.

"I know that your a strong girl Kath, at alam kong malalagpasan mo yan. parang sakit mo lang yan Kath. walang gamot na mag papawala ng sakit pero kaya mong labanan basta may inspirasyon ka. now you may say na si Dylan ang inspirasyon mo, pero hindi lang naman isa ang pwede mong maging inspirasyon. nandito pa kami ng kuya mo at mga kaibigan mo, kaya use this break up, use your experience to do better things. may mahahanap ka din na mas better sa kanya." it feels different kapag galing kay mom ang advice.

"plus sadness makes us feel like humans. dahil sa mundong ito, hindi lang saya ang pwede nating maranasan. there will ups and downs when it come to this world." pag papatuloy pa niya.

I didn't expect that I would be having this kind of conversation with my mom. as expected from a mom, she gave me a lot of great advice. kaya sa tingin ko ay handa na talaga akong lumaban at mag simula ulit ng wala siya. I may not find a new man, but I will live a new chapter of my life.

"thank you for the advices mom. your the best." sabi ko at nginitian ko siya ng malaki.

that night went great. I cried a little when I remember him, pero I kept thinking about what my mom said. living a life with purpose and inspiration is always the best way to live.

kinabukasan ay maaga ulit akong nagising dahil na din siguro sa andami kong tulog kahapon kaya napaaga ang gising ko ngayon.

my morning went as usual. naligo, nag bihis, at nag lagay ng onting make up. right now I'm eating breakfast with my mom and brother. bukas daw ay makakauwi na sila lola. and I don't want them to see me broken.

nasa sasakyan kami ngayon ni kuya papuntang school. I was so lost in my thoughts kaya hindi ko napansin na nandito na pala kami sa school.

"Kath, your spacing out again. Halika na." sabi ni Kuya na nakalabas na pala ng sasakyan at hinihintay akong lumabas.

pag labas ko ay halos lahat ng estudyante na madaanan namin ay nag bubulungan. pinag bubulungan nila ang nangyari sa amin ni Dylan. I just ignored it and continued walking.

pag pasok namin ng classroom ay nakita kong naka upo si Addison sa upuan ko katabi si Dylan, habang si Dylan naman ay puno ng lungkot ang mga mata at halos wala ng pakealam sa paligid niya.

nag lakad ako papuntang likod at umupo sa tabi ni Hazel.

"okay ka lang? I heard you passed out again." nag aalalang tanong niya.

"yeah I'm fine." then I gave her a small smile.

"look what we have here? a traitor and my dear step-sister." mayabang na sabi ni Addison. papatulan ko ba toh? wag na sakit lang toh sa ulo.

"what now? nakuha mo na gusto mo diba? so shut your mouth up." I rolled my eyes at her.

"oh, you still can't believe na iniwan ka niya para sa akin." she smirked but I smirked back.

"aww sweetie hindi mo ba alam na isa ka lang din sa mga laruan niya." my smirk didn't come off my face. halata namang nainis siya dahil nag aapoy na ang mga mata niya.

"he loves me, he told me he loves me." mayabang na sabi niya ulit. sabi ko hindi ko siya papatulan eh, but I guess I can't keep my words.

"are you stupid? sa tingin mo sa lahat ng babae niya ay ikaw lang ang sinabihan niya na mahal ka niya? wake up from your dream girl, mukha nananaginip ka pa ng gising." pag kasabi ko non ay napa '-ooohhh' ang mga kaklase ko. inis siyang umalis at nag dabog pa pabalik ng upuan.

so he told her he loves her? nung isang araw lang ay nag mamakaawa siyang patawarin ko siya at humuhingi ng chance pero sinabihan na pala ng I love you ang ibang babae.

the worst lie for me is the I love you. kase karamihan sa mga tao ngayon lalo na ang mga kabataan ay nag sasabihan ng I love you, kahit hindi naman talaga nila mahal. maybe they have a crush on them, pero it's not worthy to say I love you to the person you like or to the person you have a crush on. kase like mo lang siya, hindi mo pa siya love. kaya nga crush dahil hinahangaan mo lang siya.

crush and like is different from love. dahil ang love ay tumatagal. hindi siya madaling mawala. sinabihan ka nga niya ng I love you, but when you didn't say I love you back iisipin niya kaagad na 'ay wala na toh, iba nalang crush ko.' then after a few days may iba na siyang gusto. yung mga ganung bagay ba. I'm not saying that all the people these days are like that, yung iba lang.

"mukhang si Dylan ang natatamaan sa away niyo ah." natatawang sabi ni Hazel. I didn't expect that we will be close.

tumingin ako kila Dylan at nakita kong nakatingin siya sa akin. ang mga mata niya ay hindi na tulad ng dati. kung dati ay tinitignan niya ko ng puno ng pag mamahal at puno ng kasiyahan, ngayon ay nakatitig siya sa akin na puno ng kalungkutan ang kanyang mga mata.

natamaan kaya siya sa mga sinabi ko kanina? I can't help it. masyado akong iniinis ni Addison and the fact that Dylan said I love you to her, just makes me jealous.

I want to be with him and his sad eyes tells me the same. pero sa tingin ko ay kailangan namin ng space. if we really are for each other, then I'll let the time decide.

true love comes at the right time, at sa ngayon I don't think ngayon ang tamang oras para sa amin. ang dami naming problema at ang daming hadlang sa relasyon namin dahil nga sa pagiging playboy niya. we never know, baka kami talaga ang para sa isa't isa or we just became a character of each other's story.

the bell rang at nag punta na ulit kami sa clubs namin. malapit na ang sports fest and I don't know what to expect.

kasabay kong nag lalakad si Sofia. walang nag sasalita sa amin.

"how are you?" mahinang tanong niya.

"I'm fine, I guess." I hesitantly said. I don't really know if I'm fine or not, kase hindi ko na alam kung sino ang tunay na ako. ang masiyahin na ako o yung broken na ako.

"I heard you two broke up." wow, news flies so fast. pano kaya nila nalaman yon?

I bitterly chuckled.

"news flies so fast."

"I broke up with him. baka nga masyado akong desperada dahil sinagot ko siya kaagad. I just don't think that this is the right time for us. sabi nila everyone deserves a second chance, but I don't think I'm ready to give a second chance. dahil bakit siya hihingi ng second chance? para saan? para maayos niya ang mga pag kakamali niya? para bumawi? eh bakit hindi niya yon ginawa nung kami pa diba? bakit iaasa niya yon sa second chance?" dagdag ko pa.

hindi siya sumagot. siguro ay para hindi ako maiyak. I shouldn't get emotional dahil baka mamiss ko nanaman ang practice namin once I get really emotional.

second chance.... why would someone ask for a second chance? it's not like it would heal up the pain that he caused me.

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