Finally Finding Love

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Vanessa, I’m 5’0”, 130lbs, have dark brown coily hair that reaches below my shoulders when straightened. I’m what people consider a red or yellow bone, depending on who’s saying it. I’m 21, and have yet to find my other half, and yes I am looking. I know I’m still young, but I’ve always dreamed of having someone to love, since my first crush Chris, I was his not the other way around lol, asked me for my first kiss. I was 6, and he was 7. All our parents were still together at that time, so I’m sure we learned this from them. My sister was playing with his, and I was playing with him, like we usually do, and have done since we came into this world. On this particular day, he brought me to the side of the house to play in the dirt, like we always do. Yes I’m a tomboy. Give me a tree, wall, or dirt, and I’m climbing, jumping and building or creating. Since I already jumped over the wall to get to him, it was building time. As we are creating a lovely mess, he grabs my hand taking me behind a bush. I figured he wanted to rip it up to add to our beautiful mess, but what he did next surprised me. Before I tell you what happened, let me tell you a little bit about Chris. You already know we are close in age, he is taller, and wider then me. He also doesn’t talk much, because he stutter’s really bad. So not many people have heard him speak, but I have, and only when he realizes I can’t figure out what he wants, which is not often. Hence me letting him pull me everywhere, and only he could. I definitely wasn’t this nice to everyone else, so he held a special place in my tiny heart. Back behind the bush he grabs my face as I’m tearing into the bush, to get me to focus on him. He opens his mouth to speak, which takes him quite a while, so I stand there patiently waiting, with his dirty hands on my face. C, ccccc, the frustration evident on his face. Ccccccan, alright 1 down not sure how many to go. Ccan Iiii, kkkkkk, he is nervous for some reason, which is making it harder for him to speak. So I try to guess this word, and maybe if I do we can get back to the dirt. Kick, you want to kick, he shakes his head no. Keep I say, he shakes his head no, and I can see the frustration, as I try to guess, so I stop. After a few more minutes he finally gets it out. Kiss is the word he has been searching for. Me being me, for him, I said of course, and his little lips met mine. Now, I have no clue how long we were behind that bush after that, but all I know is I was snatched up off the ground by my sister, and dragged all the way home, her fussing at me the short distance home. I just knew I was in trouble from the way she was acting and I was scared, and itchy from the grass, but she just stripped me down and threw me in the tub. I’m not 100% sure she told on me or not because or parents never said anything, but as I got older my mom made a lot of comments about kissing being bad, and leading to pregnancy, so maybe she did. Anyway, my friendship with Chris continued growing strong, that was our first and last kiss, cause we weren’t about to test our sister’s patience, and when I was 7, we moved and I never saw him again. Compared to all my relationships as an adult, the best and last one I had was when I was with him. Sad, I know. Which brings us to present day.