Risking It All

"Just one more week, one more week and all my years of sacrifice would all be worth it." I said to myself, as I looked at the pile of textbooks on the floor. I've been cramming for my finals for who knows how long, to a point where I cant anymore. So now, I'm lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. I am on the verge of completing my degree as an actuarial scientist. I always loved the idea of structure, controlling and assessing each outcome to make sure it is the most desirable. Making sure that choices were always well assessed. Throughout my schooling career my results were always in the top 3. Not because I was born smart, but because I worked so hard to make sure they were what I wanted for myself. I planned every aspect of my life until becoming an actuary. My dad always said dynamite comes in small packages, so I planned on being that dynamite. I hear screaming and laughing coming from outside my on-campus apartment block. I got up and peeped through the window. It looks like a group of friends celebrating. I close the drapes again and slouch back onto the sofa, tossing my book over my head. I have never been wildly popular or even popular. I was someone who would prefer having my nose buried under my books because I was determined to be someone one day. Someone with power in this world. I was okay with not having the teenage experience. I knew one day it would be worth it. It also seemed very overrated. I mean who wants to regret the decisions you made for the rest of your life. So I always played on the safe side. One of the reasons why I'm still a Virgin. I'd hate looking back at my first time regretting it and feeling embarrassed about it. It's just after midday and I hear banging on my apartment door. It can only be my only two friends, Mel and Lara. They do this all the time, so now, it's not even considered urgent anymore, but normal. I grew up with Lara and Mel, who are drop dead gorgeous. I always felt like an ugly duckling when I was with them. They were tall and blonde. The slender model type with minimal curves. I always compared myself to them because I had so many curves. I was busty, and little with a huge ass. "It's open." I yelled, and they staggered through the door. "Let's go. You need to get out. We are going for pizza and to the outdoor cinema." Mel says, lifting the book off my head. "When was the last time you went outside?" Lara asks me, scanning the empty takeaway containers lying around, the closed drapes and the pile of books on the floor. "To be honest, I'm not quite sure." I say, as she inspects me, almost looking for clues. "You are as pale as a vampire. We are getting you out of here, you need a break." Lara says, as she opens the drapes and my eyes burn. I always thought they pitied me. Dragging myself from place to place since I was 5, it's not like I was the life of the party. As an only child, I've never had the experience of having siblings. I always thought they were lucky to have each other. But looking back now, I had 2 sisters. And I was lucky to have them. They have always treated me like blood. In fact, we used to tell everyone that we were sisters. When my mother passed away from cancer, their family was my dad and my salvation. They are the sole reasons why I have a lot of experience in life. If it were up to me, I would be a hermit crab only coming out for food. "Just the three of us?" I ask them, because they usually come up with some sort of plan to get me to socialize. "About that." Lara says, and they look at each other, knowing that my protest is coming up next. I rolled my eyes at them. "You know there's an entire world out there, with strange but wonderful people. People are good Forest, most of them don't bite. Unless you're into that sort of thing," Mel says, as she begins to pack my handbag. "I really don't feel comfortable going with, I'm this close to finishing. I have a few chapters left and then I'll be done for good. You go and don't for a second feel bad about leaving me here. Also, I don't want to," I said to them. Lara and Mel were wildly popular. They were also older than me, so I learnt a lot from them. "Stop being so paranoid. Live in the moment, you know you will have fun. You have been behind your books for weeks. It's time to do what people our age do. How are you ever planning on meeting a man if you stay cooped up in this apartment? All I'm asking is that you come have some fun with us, and then you can return to your boring books." Mel says to me, in her condescending tone she always used when I objected to any social activity. I always felt like people tolerated my presence just to be in theirs, and they dared not question mine or Lara and Mel would have their heads on the chopping block. They were always protective of me in that way. I was their younger sister who they had to prove to the world can be a kind and dangerous place. "Come on fe-fe. I know Mel will probably ditch us to swoon over some new beau, but you know I'd be right by your side. You can't leave me alone when she ditches me." I know Lara is right because Mel will definitely be the one swooning and forgetting we exist. Mel was breathtaking. America's next top model type. Everyone always wanted to be around her or with her. She was the life of the party. Lara was more level headed. I suppose being older than Mel is somewhat the reason behind it and having to keep Mel in check. She would never let anyone play with her head. When she thought a situation was okay, it usually was. I knew she would never let me feel left out or out of place. I suppose my feeling that way was largely contributed to by my own insecurity. Who would blame me. I was the dork in-between two models. I was thinking that and I knew everyone thought so too. I've often heard people say that they are wasting their time dragging around no one like me. Mel takes a look at what I've got on, scanning me as she always does. I've got on denim shorts with an off shoulder, knitted cardigan. "This should do." She says, loosening my hair and pulling on it. She pinches my cheeks until they begin to burn. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked her, as I rubbed my cheeks. "Just get some color back into your skin." She says, as she holds her eyeliner out to me. "You two aren't going to take no for an answer, are you?" I said, taking a deep breath. "Nope. Do you know us to back off easily at your feeble attempts to get out of doing anything?" Lara says as she throws me my bag and pulls me out the door. "In fact, we are doing this for you. You need this more than we do. What would Ned say if we allowed his daughter to decompose in her apartment?" Mel says to me. I could never understand their need to protect me, while they could jump in knee deep. If I were them, I'd have given up on myself a long time ago and continued my fairytale life. They have become like the two angels on my shoulders, one the devil and the other, the angel. They would warn me against everything and anyone and make sure I understood. That's why I couldn't understand why they handed me to him. James Swanson. On a silver platter. This is the day that will set off everything from this point on and change my entire life, completely.