Darkbeam Part I

Chapter 17

The dream about knights claiming me haunted my subconscious for the next few days.

Irene was incapable of discerning its significance. It couldn’t be about my future. Lucian wasn’t the white knight; he was in the crowd, pointing. Who or what represented the white knight? Goran? He was everything but light. He was evil and should be dark in the dream, but he was also the only one strong enough to be able to handle me when I turned.

No matter how hard I tried to figure this one out, all roads led to the one thing I didn’t want: a rider.

I didn’t care how brave or how worthy of me they were, I wasn’t one of those dragons who could belong to someone.

The redhead popped into my mind again. Why did I dream about her, my Never-Breath? Why? It all started with her occupying my dreams.

I met Isaac and the band on Friday for rehearsal. We’d put a few songs together and were tinkering with the rest. Getting another album out there might not be such a bad thing. We could record it during our summer break that was coming up soon.

We practiced “Forever Last,” and Isaac’s additions brought it to life.

The “Never-Breath” single had been performing great on the charts. Royalties from its sales went straight to Mom.

Hearing my mother telling me that he took my sister to Warbel practice made me wonder. Maybe he was really different this time.

Singing “Never-Breath” at practice added more pressure instead of lessening the darkness. The song was just for her. The girl who didn’t exist, that would never exist.

I was an emotional wreck by the fourth time. I threw the mic to the ground, causing a shrill feedback loop that made the band members clap their hands over their ears.

“Blake!” Isaac yelled.

I ignored him. I needed to get away.

“Is he okay?” I heard Ty ask as I stripped and took flight.

“Just let him go. He’ll be fine,” I heard Isaac say before I was gone, headed to my mountain.

I screamed a lot that night.

I was so frustrated.

Frustrated about my past, frustrated with what-ifs, frustrated that I couldn’t be normal no matter how hard I tried. There would always be a dark underline in my life. Even if Lucian claimed me, which he wouldn’t... I would always be dark.

I needed to make peace with it, but for some reason I still held on.

That night I dreamt again about the knights; they seemed to multiply and the fear became more real with each repetition.

I woke with a startle again and used. I had no choice. Nobody was here to calm my soul. To tell me it was just a dream.

Or maybe it was just an excuse.

Maybe I was already too addicted that I was going to find excuses now to use whenever I could. My worst fear just became reality. I was an addict.

A rampage of killing went on during the high. Everything the beast wanted. The human was gone, drugged out of his mind. No protesting, just giving the beast free range to do as he pleased.

Was it my imagination? Hallucinations? I couldn’t be sure. But it haunt me on the lows.

The only thing I did feel on the lows was a mother of a headache and utter loneliness. Loneliness that made it hard to breathe.

I felt someone tapping on the floor. A hollow sound. Tap, tap, tap, fast.

Then I felt a tug against my cheek. It became harder, faster, until I realized that the tapping wasn’t on the floor. Someone was hitting my face.

My eyes opened. The headache threatened to split my head in two. A body hovered over me.

It wasn’t Tabitha, the smell was masculine.

Lucian. He was back. “f**k, Blake. What the hell?” It felt as if he was screaming into my ears.

I saw the bag of Fire-Cain in his hand. He emptied the packet over the toilet. My reflexes were too slow.

“Are you insane!” I roared at him. “I NEED THAT!”

“You need that? You f*****g need that?” Lucian wasn’t much for cussing. No, he was too good for that. He flushed the toilet, face bright red.

“You need help.”

“No, I need to stay sane. This was helping me.”

“It’s Fire-Cain, Blake. It’s a drug that will put you into the ground faster than the darkness.”

“f**k you! You have no idea what it’s like!” I yelled at him. “To have this darkness…” I chose my words with care. I didn’t want to sound like a loon. I tapped my temple hard. “Stuck inside of you; wanting you to do s**t you don’t want to, and if you don’t, it would kill everything you love.”

His eyes were hard. Anger rolled off him in waves. “Fire-Cain was never the plan, Blake.”

“The plan changed a long time ago, Lucian. You are the only one who doesn’t seem to be getting that.”

“I’m working my ass off to claim you.”

“You’re wasting your f*****g time. You aren’t the royal fated to claim me!” I screamed. When would this i***t get it?

“I don’t f*****g care. You will not use again. Otherwise I will go to the authorities.”

“Authorities? Are you threatening me?” I grabbed his collar.

He pushed back hard. “I will do whatever it takes to keep the Rubicon sane.”

“Is that what blood brothers do? You would betray me?” The beast inside was furious. Furious with his f*****g skinny ass thinking he could just snap his little fingers and get what he wanted.

“Blake, stop this,” he said.

My fist connected hard with his jaw. The second punch was air as he rolled out of the way and then dove into me. I crashed with him on top of me.

“You want to use fists?” He knocked one out of the park. His blow burned on my face.

Another blow. My teeth scraped against the inside of my lip and I spat blood. My fist connected hard with his and he toppled to the ground. I got up and my foot connected hard with his stomach.

A pair of arms grabbed me from behind.

I growled at whoever was holding me back.

“Calm down, Blake,” George said.

I pushed forward again but another pair of hands yanked me back.

Brian. “Dude, Brian doesn’t approve. He is royalty.”

“Brian,” Lucian grunted still on all fours. “Shut the f**k up.” He lunged, but Brian let go and took the blow instead.

“Calm down, both of you!” Brian yelled. No longer speaking in third person.

“Blake, snap out of it. That is Lucian.”

I spat blood on the floor.

Blood poured out of Lucian’s nose.

“I’ll see you in the ring soon,” Lucian grunted and walked out of the room, shoulders straight, chin high.

“Seriously, dude,” George said. “You will f*****g kill him.”

“Get the f**k out of my room!” I yelled.

When they didn’t move, I was tempted to beat the living crap out of them too. I decided it was best to go myself. I jumped out of the window and allowed my wings to take shape.

Calm down, Blake. Calm down. I repeated to myself.

That wasn’t the beast who had gone off on him.

It had been the human. That was me.

Summer arrived, slow and sticky and hot.

Lucian and I hadn’t spoken after the that last fight.

He trained every second he could with Mia in the Parthenon and at night he crashed wordlessly into bed.

I hated him so much for trying.

I didn’t want to think about the brotherhood we’d shared so long ago, about the blood promise he’d made. I was going to be the death of him. That I did know.

I wanted to spend the summer at Dragonia, but I was forced to go home.

The first day wasn’t easy. My father was always there. We didn’t speak much. I didn’t even want to look at him. He was a coward, even if he didn’t remember any of that. The old Sir Robert would never hide behind his family.

My mother often tried to get some sort of a conversation going around the table, but the minute my plate was finished, I would get up and leave.

I found myself in the park numerous times, sitting in the swings.

When it got dark and late, I would work on my songs. Sometimes a few sentences would pop up; other days I would sit for hours hearing nothing.

The tabloids were filled with Lucian and Arianna one morning.

Arianna was the Princess of Areeth. She wasn’t what I thought of as beautiful. Not that she was ugly or anything; she was a looker in her own messed-up way. She had long strawberry curls flowing down her back and an oval face. I never cared for her or her family. Not the way I cared for Lucian.

Their budding relationship had been arranged from day one. I wondered if he really loved her or if he was just giving his father what he demanded. Being a good son.

I couldn’t identify with that.

The kingdoms wanted one ruler for Paegeia again. And this was their way. So sixteenth-century. I actually felt bad for the guy.

“So they’re, like, an item now?” my sister asked over her orange juice, fluttering a newspaper over her eggs.

“I think it’s lovely,” Mom said. “They fit together.”

“Fit together? Mom, it’s Arianna.”

“She is still your princess, Sammy.”

“I don’t know. Lucian is too good for her. He always has been.”

“Do we really need to listen to this now? It’s so not our department,” my father said, pointing at me and him. He smiled.

I tried. I really tried to see what my mom and sister did, but it was so hard, remembering the bad.

“You need to get ready, sweetheart. Warbel tryouts don’t wait for anyone.”

“I’ll take you,” I said and got up.

“Seriously?!” Sammy sounded excited.

“Seriously,” I mocked her, making my voice deeper and raising my eyebrows softly.

She clapped her hands and jumped up. “Let me go get my bag.”

She ran up the stairs and I found my mother smiling after her. She kissed my head and took my plate.

My father got up and left the room.

“He’s trying, Blake.”

“Don’t push this. We’ll make peace when we do, okay?”

She nodded with a faint smile. I was worried about her speaking of the trying part. What did Samuel took away and what did he leave behind.

“Let’s go!”

Sammy babbled all the way to the crevice. It was the only place big enough for Warbel practice.

I would have given anything to be on a team. But the Council refused. Being the Rubicon wasn’t always all it was cracked out to be.

I watched Samantha play. She was fast, but her reflexes were slow.

I knew the coach. He’d played professionally and was on Blaze’s team. She’d tried to get me on their team but it was no use.

She offered Lucian a spot, too, but he’d refused it because of another stupid promise; that one day we would both play on the same team. He tried to pull strings for me, to no avail.

Maybe I should have asked Arianna; her father was one of the asses who kept denying my request. She was going to attend Dragonia next year, and I was sure that she would be in our room often now that she and Lucian were a couple.

Finally the three-week break was over and the new year started. Everyone made a fuss about the Princess of Areeth finally starting at Dragonia Academy.

There were so many cameras, I wanted to fly away. I hated the press. They always showed up at the most annoying times for their pictures.

“Blake!” Some of them ran in my direction. I put my shades on my face and my hand in their lenses.

“Tell us, how does it feel to know that the Princess of Areeth is going to try and claim you?”

I stopped. Turned and stared at the woman asking the question. I laughed. “She what?”

More rapid-fire questions about Arianna and me. I walked away, laughing and shaking my head.

Lucian didn’t stand a chance, and there was no way in hell Arianna Kingsley was going to tame me either.

I snuck up to the tower later that night. I missed Irene. I had to see her.

She opened the door as I was still climbing up the stairs and then suddenly she was in my arms. Our lips met greedily. Grunts came from deep within. I was hungry, hungry for her, hungry to be inside of her. I was starving.

I kicked the door shut and took her right there on the floor.

Her nails dented deep in my skin as I pounded her hard. The sounds from her lips were music to my ears. I could f**k Irene forever and ever. It would never get boring.

We ended up on her bed sharing her pipe.

“She could easily claim you, Blake.”

“It’s Arianna, for crying out loud.”

“You have no idea who she is. You don’t know her fears. You don’t know anything. Lucian is another story. Him you still know.”

I got what she was saying. I don’t know Arianna and I had no idea what she needed to hear to back off. “What do you suggest?”

“I shouldn’t even think this, but she isn’t worthy of you.”

I liked the way she said it.

“It’s not a jealousy thing. I would give anything for someone to claim you, but that girl…” She huffed.

“Yeah, my sister isn’t fond of her, either.”

“Discover her fears.”

I chuckled. “Believe me, she wouldn’t tell me, not this close to a claiming. She is a fashion doll, but not stupid.”

She traced a lazy circle around my hardening n****e. “Not what I meant. There’s something about you. I don’t know if it’s the Green-Vapor coming out.”

I frowned. The ability had finally come during Summer and it was strong. If I wasn’t the Rubicon, the I would’ve been a Green-Vapor.

“People tend to spill things around you they normally wouldn’t. You’d be surprised at what she might tell you.”

“Tell me?” I didn’t follow where Irene was going with this.

“In bed.”

My eyebrows rose. “You want me to sleep with Arianna? She’s with Lucian.”

“Blake, like you said. You are the Rubicon. You’ll need to do whatever it is to not get claimed.

I was speechless. “You’re serious.”

“It’s the only way she will spill her worst fears. They used the tactic a lot during war.”

“I can’t do that to Lucian.”

“Why? Because he’s such a great friend to you? He used to be. It’s over. You need to think about yourself now. Do you want Arianna to be your rider?”

“No,” I said, way too fast.

“Then do this.”

“And you’re okay with this?”

She touched my cheek and it was as if her touch just put everything into perspective. “I only care for you.”

I nodded and gave her another kiss. It lead to another wild session, after which I literally passed out in her arms. Sleeping in Irene’s bed was always blissful. No dreams came, no nightmares, no knights, no redheaded girls. Just serenity.

The announcement of the ridiculous claiming came over the school PA system the next Thursday.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Something funny, Blake?” Sir Edward asked.

“Yes, Arianna does not have what it takes to claim me.”

He nodded. “And you think her trying is hilarious?”

“Come on, Eddie, seriously. It’s Arianna. The fashion princess.”

“Just think how hilarious it would be if that fashion princess became your rider.”

Students sniggered. I shook my head. This was a ridiculous claim. I didn’t care what they said.

I found Lucian in our room doing some homework. I felt bad about what Irene had suggested, but the beast was enthralled.

“You should tell your girlfriend she is going to get hurt. It is not too late to take back her claiming.”

Lucian laughed. “Oh, I told her that many times. But Arianna has a strong mind. She’s not far from believing what I do. One of us will claim you. That is a promise.”

I laughed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. None of you do. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Lucian.”

Later, I found the two lovebirds in the cafeteria.

They couldn’t keep their hands off one another.

I shouldn’t do this. It’s Arianna. She wouldn’t have what it took anyway. But Irene’s words kept pounding in my mind.

What if she found a way to get the upper hand? I couldn’t show her hell, or whatever her fears were, because I didn’t know.

It was the only way to get it out of Arianna.

The next day I found her having breakfast with some other girls.

I plunged down on the pillow opposite to her.

I met her eyes and held them in my gaze.

“What do you want, Blake?”

“Oh, you know. Just getting acquainted a bit, Arianna. If you’re going to be my rider, I need to know a few things about you first.”

She gloated. Of course she would. “Like what?”

“I don’t know... what you like, what you don’t like, that type of thing?” My voice was as sweet as honey.

She blushed but flirted back. “Well, knowing someone that intimately, Blake, takes time. Patience is the key. I’ll show you everything in due time.”

“Is that a promise?” I flirted.

“You bet,” she said.

I got up and left.

This was going to be easy. Arianna didn’t give a crap about Lucian. I would do him a huge favor.

“What’s your worst fear?” I whispered in her ear as I slid in and out of her slowly.

Getting Arianna to follow me all the way to the library wasn’t hard. It was actually the opposite. Less than two days and she was eating out of my palm.

She wasn’t a virgin, but she wasn’t an experienced lover, either. She was lazy.

“Being naked,” she whispered back through deep breaths. “Scorpions, spiders,” she laughed. “Being poor. Being a nobody. I need to claim you. You are mine.”

She started to get rough, and so did I.

She didn’t have what it took. Not one bit. She was shallow. Her possessions were what she feared losing, her status. Not the ones she loved—or pretended to love.

I finished and kissed her one more time as I buckled up my trousers. I had to wear a condom this time because she was human. She could get pregnant and that was the last thing I wanted. “I’ll see you in the ring.”

She chuckled. “You bet your sexy ass.”

“Oh and another thing,” I said before I left. “I’m a very jealous dragon.”

She narrowed her eyes. She’d get it. Hopefully she would tell Lucian the truth.

I actually felt sorry for her. She was going to learn the hard way just how dark and twisted the Rubicon was.

I went back to Irene. I used her shower to get rid of Arianna’s scent, which still clung to me.

“It’s done, what is her fear?” Irene asked near the bathroom door.

“She’s shallow. It’s her possessions. Scorpions, spiders. But the first is her worst.”

“See? I told you it would work.”

“I hope so. I felt bad for Lucian though. He really liked her.”

“He’ll meet someone else. I’ve seen it.”

“What?”

She left the bathroom. I finished my shower. I needed to know what she’d seen. Was he really going to be happy with another?

I wrapped the towel around my waist. No need to get fully robed; it would just disappear in a few minutes anyway. I walked out and found Irene’s eyes lingering on my body with lust.

“He’s really going to find someone?” I had to know and she snapped out of it.

“He will. Not anytime soon, but I’ve seen him happy. Like true love, making others sick, type of happy.” She came toward me and put her hand gently on my cheek. “I promise.”

Our lips touched again. The kiss was passionate.

I knew what Arianna’s fear was. I’d done my friend a favor by showing him how little he meant to her, and I had this amazing dragon to call my own.

Her robe disappeared and so did my towel. The rest was one hell of a trip.