LOVE ACROSS TIME

KIRSTEN POV'S YEAR OF 2022 All people deserve to get what they want, not because they worked hard for it, but because they made a way to get what they wanted... There are things that they deserve but for other reasons they can't get it so they are working on a way to get that. It's hard, but it's manageable... And in my life, it took me a long time to achieve what I deserve and I can say that I haven't achieved that until now at my age. I'm Kirsten Turner, you can call me 'Tin-tin' but more often they call me 'Shí' which means 'ten' in Japanese Language. One of my best friends likes animae movies or series so he calls me that. I'm 30 years old this coming April 12, but i feel that i didn't enjoy who i am. Anyway, I'm currently living in Batangas, part of the rural area. I have five siblings who are younger than me and 2 children that live with us but they are child of our aunt who is in another country. They are so kind and generous so i treat them as our siblings also. Anyway, I'm the eldest child so I make a way for us to survive because our father and mother are gone. There was a car accident that happened before, so our parents left us early. Only grandma Marie is with us in life. "Sister Shí, can you fix it?" GJ asked me as he held a small lego toy. He is our youngest brother who is very naughty but so close to me. He is 5 yrs old and a very handsome kid. He is the child of our aunt who is in another country. "Ask for help from your older brother Adrian." I told him and immediately brought him to Adrian who was busy on his cellphone. "I'm doing something, sister. I might lose... Hyst! The signal is weak!" He complained. He is Adrian, the fourth of our siblings. He is 17 years old and is too focused on his cellphone so he is neglecting his studies. "Do you want to get stuck there?!" Annoyed, I threatened to punch him. "Take care of that. I'm leaving." I said before hanging the bag. It's eight o'clock in the morning and that's my duty time. I'm even a little late, so I'm sure our manager will come up with something again. It always is. "Sister, can i have money there. I'm leaving later." Jade pointed to my wallet that was sitting next to the tv. She is Jade, 19 yrs old who looks a lot like me, sometimes we were even mistaken for twins if she wasn't a bit darker than me. I slowly opened my wallet. Philippine President Manuel A. Roxas, Senator Benigno Aquino Jr. and his wife, President Corazon Aquino are the only content. How can I fit that money into a week? I closed my eyes before taking the ₱100.00 and giving it to my brother. Good bye Philippine president Manuel A. Roxas. Good bye ₱100.00 yes. It's so hard to make money these days that you'd rather just close my eyes when it comes to spending them. "Thank you, sister." She thanked me before leaving and going to the right room, the girls bedroom. Because there are only two bedrooms here, so, I just made the right bedroom for the girls and the left bedroom the boys. "Go home early." I chased after her before putting the wallet in the bag. "Yes sister." She answered while putting the money in her cellphone case. "Eat now, sister." Catherine offered me food as I came out of the kitchen. She is Catherine, 15 yrs old and very smart. Apart from that, her face and complexion are also very beautiful no matter what makeup product she uses. "Why are you eating alone?... What's your dish?" I approached her and fixed her hair tie. "Adobo, sister, I think grandma cooked it." She said before following me. "Delicious." I said while chewing before drinking water. "You're a late sister. You might get scolded again." She worries after looking at her watch. "Why should I be scolded? I'm the boss there." I'm proud of her. "Alright. Go away sister, you're late. I'll do the laundry later." "Alright. Don't get too tired. I'll s***k you." "Haha, yes sister. You too." When I left our yard, I found Aj and Gjann sweeping while Mitchie was pulling our neighbor's grass to pay her. "Sister, can we plant eggplant here? We saw a crop." Aj asked as he poked the ground with his small tip. He is Aj, 13 yrs old who has a passion for farming that he inherited from his father. "You can just put a barrier so the dog can't dig in." I answered which immediately made him happy. "Have you eaten?" I helped them prepare the land. "Not yet sister." Mitchie answered, she is the child of our aunt who is in another country. She is a 8 yrs old sweet girl who is also very skinny but hardworking. "We'll just finish it sister." Gjann answered. He is an 11 years old boy. "Alright, as long as you eat later." I shook my hand before standing up. "Yes sister." They said in chorus before laughing. I slowly stood up before looking at my brothers. My tears gradually fell. The life of a firstborn is full of burdens and responsibilities. From the beginning, you have been the pillar of the home, the supporter of your family's dreams and hopes. Despite your wish that your loved ones never experience hardship, it seems that it is always included in their story. Being the first born comes with an immediate burden. As you grow up, the needs of your siblings and parents are planted on your shoulders. You cannot deny that you feel the weight of this responsibility. Every day, your goal is not only your own success, but to succeed for your family. Over time, you get to know yourself better through the trials you face as the firstborn. You discover your strengths and weaknesses. The need to succeed in the face of life's challenges produces a strong character. Although being the first born is full of difficulties, it becomes a way to deepen your understanding of the value of hard work and love for family. In the face of all this, self-care is also important. You are not a robot; there are times when you also need to focus on your own needs and satisfaction. You don't have to sacrifice too much for others, because even the first born has the right to be happy and achieve his dreams. As the first born, you are an inspiration to your siblings and your parents. Your trip is not only for yourself but also for the whole family. With every achievement you reach, the whole family feels the sweetness of success. The life of a firstborn is not easy, but with every hardship and sacrifice, there is comfort and the growth of hope. Being the first-born is a great asset, because it paves the way to shape a strong and caring individual. Don't worry my siblings, we will be rich too! The day will come when you won't have to ask me for money when you leave, won't complain about the signal, won't plant crops just to get something to eat, won't pull weeds to pay the neighbor, and won't eat together. I took a deep breath before looking at them. Everyone is busy with their work. I miss the day when we did that together. I left and walked to the corner. "Shall I take you again?" I was surprised when someone spoke behind me, he was still arrogantly riding his mio motorcycle which is not beautiful either. He is Alfred Herrera, my barangay friend who often takes me on his motorcycle and can be sure if he likes me. Is it because of my beauty that he can't be loved? He is also same as my age and not very handsome, just the right one. He's not the type of girl to confuse him because he's so handsome. "I'll just wait there for a ride." I said and pointed to the corner of our barangay. "Get on board now, you're still ashamed of when you'll be riding here for the first time." "It's terrible. Did it count right away?" "Of course." "So how many more am I riding here?" I ask before leaving. He glared at me and slightly tilted the motorcycle so that I almost fell off. Fortunately, he quickly supported me and held my arm! I swallowed when I noticed that his face was very close to mine but I could still see the worry on his face. We were in that situation when someone honked at our taho vendor. "You're here again? Go buy something first. Are you working on a movie? Haha." The man seller jokingly said. He is used to seeing us together in this place. I immediately stood up straight and looked at him. "You like?" He stuttered. I nodded voluntarily so he left to chase the seller. Shit! What happened was very strange! Why did he shake the motorcycle and I haven't sat properly yet? "Here it is." His hand was shaking as he handed me the 20 pesos taho he had bought. "Thank you." I said and took it. I turned to eat. In the first bite, I was still thinking about what happened but in the next bites, I was thinking if I should eat like this while my siblings are not. Hyst! That's all I always think about every time I eat something. It's hard! You know they haven't eaten yet and then you're enjoying the food you're eating. "It's yours." I handed him the plastic cup of taho that was half full. "Thank you, I'm full." I smiled at him and rubbed my stomach. I'm still very hungry! "If you don't deliver it to me I will consume it." I told him noting that he didn't take the taho. After hearing what I said, he immediately took like a bamboo shoot and consumed it. "I'll drop you off. You're late." He said after throwing the plastic cups in the trash. "All right." I got in and we immediately left. As expected, my manager and co-workers gave me a bad look. I arrived here at the club at almost 8:50 am. I am currently working at The Brooks Club House as a waitress and i think this is my life. This club holds a special place in my heart, serving not just as a recreational space but as a second home where I've cultivated my strengths and found a source of financial support for my family. This unique blend of personal and practical significance has woven a tapestry of meaningful experiences, contributing to my overall growth and well-being. From the moment I stepped into the club, I sensed a sense of belonging that transcended the conventional boundaries of a social gathering. It became a sanctuary where I could express myself freely, surrounded by like-minded individuals who shared common interests and passions. In this supportive environment, I discovered facets of my identity that may have otherwise remained dormant. As I engaged in various activities within the club, I unearthed strengths and abilities I didn't know I possessed. Whether through collaborative projects, leadership roles, or skill-building workshops, the club served as a fertile ground for personal development. It became a space where I could harness my potential and transform challenges into opportunities for growth. Beyond the personal and developmental aspects, the club took on an unexpected role as a financial lifeline for my family. Through my involvement, I had the chance to contribute meaningfully to our household income. The monetary support I gained from the club not only alleviated financial burdens but also provided a sense of empowerment, enabling me to actively contribute to my family's well-being. This dual nature of the club, as both a nurturing space for personal growth and a means of financial assistance, has made it an integral part of my life. The connections forged, skills honed, and the financial stability achieved have woven a rich tapestry that intertwines with the fabric of my daily existence. It stands as a testament to the transformative power of community involvement, proving that a seemingly ordinary club can evolve into a haven of self-discovery and a reliable support system for those in need. In essence, this club is not just a recreational spot—it's a haven, a catalyst for personal and financial empowerment. It embodies the fusion of passion, strength, and practicality, shaping my narrative in ways I could have never anticipated. "To those who are late, we need to talk." The manager said angrily. She is Lea Atajar, our manager here at the club. Maybe she is in her 40's because she is so naughty and brave. She also has a lot of white hair and wrinkled skin. I followed her until we reached the end of the hallway with the stairs leading up to the second floor. She e often talks to me here because no one here can hear much. "You're late again! How many times have you done this?" She asked angrily. "20 times already." I answered that it made her even hotter. What's wrong? I just answered his question. "Did I tell you to answer?! If only you could resign! Is that the right way to work?!" There is an emphasis on every word she e says. "I'm really sorry. I was still taking care of my siblings." I bowed down to apologize. "What do I care about your siblings? Put the problem first---" I slapped her because of what she said. "I'd rather live with my siblings than the fake person I work with!" I turned away from her in annoyance but she grabbed my hand so she was able to take back the slap. "What right do you have to slap me! No way!" She said and slapped me hard. "You should be educated!" She slapped me hard on my other cheek. "Stupid! Fool!" She was saying that while she was slapping me. I did nothing but accept all that because I knew that I did wrong to her She is our manager and she has a higher position than me so I must respect and honor her so that I don't lose my job. "Think about what you're going to do!" She slapped me again before turning away. I just sat on the floor and felt the pain in my face. It's too much painful! My face must be red anytime. I was about to leave when she came back and quickly poured red wine on my face. Gosh! "You deserve it, dumbass!" She said and let out a loud grin before leaving me. I fixed my hair while trying not to cry. Why should I cry? There is no case against me if she treats me like this, she is my manager! She is my manager! Mana-- That lady! This is not the kind of job I want! What I want is to earn money without experiencing mistreatment from other co-workers! It should be equal! There should be no need to lower the character just to make money! It's annoying! Why is my life like this? Why am I experiencing this! I went out and was about to enter the girls comfort room when I saw girls looking at me and laughing at me. "That's disgusting!" Girl 1. "Why does she look like that?" Girl 2. "Something that suits her." Girls 3. "Yes, yes. The wine girl." Girls 4. "You're right. She must be going crazy so she just took a bath with wine." Girl 5. "Yes. She can't be here girls. Let's close." Girl 6 and they were still panicked and closed the door. Tss. I think they are the crazy ones. The brain is not dry! I was about to kick the door but I just stopped myself. I don't want them to think that I'm going crazy. I just went to the boys comfort room and locked myself in there. There must be no one here because I didn't hear any strange movements. I faced the mirror before cleaning my face. "Life is unfair! Damn!" I almost broke the faucet because I was so annoyed. "Why are they the only ones favored by life? Why not me? I'm also a part of life, right? I also exist! I'm living---" I stopped speaking when I heard a rustle inside the bathroom. "I-is there anyone there?" The man asked inside. His voice was somewhere at the end of the comfort room so it's not safe to say that he was there. "H-hello... D-do you have any wipes?" He asked. "Nothing." I answered quickly. "Tss. That's why life is unfair. It's because you're a selfish woman. I just need small things but you can't give it to me." I heard the man said. Huh?! It's really bad for nothing! I left it in my bag! "I can't be bothered by you but I really don't have anything!" "That's the same! My wife" he said before laughing softly. My eyes widened at the last thing he said. 'My wife' 'My wife' 'My wife' How come I have a... Husband?! Hell no! Maybe I'm just wrong! I quickly fixed my face before leaving him. I could hear him looking for me and asking for wipes but I ignored him. Maybe I just heard the wrong word, a while ago ! Right? Hayyy... I think I'm stressed. I still have to work. I don't need to waste time on people who says nothing. Written on: July 18, 19, 2023 Edited on: Jan. 19, 2024