The Untitled Luna

JUST YET

CLAIRE

I checked my bank account and rummaged through the apartment, every nook and cranny, for any extra funds, even some more cents I could use to travel as far as possible. I don’t have much, but I could find a place to stay for a few days before finding a safer place to spend the full moon. It will be a massive adjustment for me, but anything to keep my child.

“Clothes, important documents, and some food.” I sat on the bed after I finished packing my things. This apartment has been my home for a couple of years. I can’t say it was the most comfortable place to shift, but no one bothered me, and the neighbors were all too busy to care.

I heaved a sigh and firmly closed my eyes.

“I already know that you don’t like me. I’ve already experienced all kinds of hardships to prove that, but please, please guide me for this child’s sake. I wouldn’t ask for anything else if this child could be safe by my side. I just can’t let him know about this child.” I mumbled a plea to the goddess, putting all my remaining faith that I could get through this.

I hung my bag on my shoulder and immediately got out, leaving everything I had built for myself for years.

“It’ll be alright,” I mumbled after sitting at the back of the bus with no clear destination. All I know is I must go as far away as possible from Killian’s pack. It isn’t impossible that they will see me, and in a few days, they will quickly find out that I’m pregnant.

My phone started ringing, and I was already guessing it was Michelle, as I should have been in the diner an hour ago. I contemplated whether to answer the call, but if Killian ever tried to find me for whatever reason, he would surely ask the people at my work and university. I feel bad for not saying goodbye but I can’t leave a trace.

I turned my phone off and silently wished I would overcome this obstacle for my child. I was so close to reaching my goals, but this child changed everything. My wolf was howling melancholy, asking me to return, seek out our mate, and tell him everything.

Please… let’s go back. Our mate would take us back.

My wolf’s thoughts were my wishes as well. I wish it were that easy, but the rage and betrayal in Killian’s eyes that day took me back to that day, just before my parents were killed. Everyone in our pack looked at my father and us with the same disgusted gaze.

I still love him. It doesn’t just go away as much as I wished when we severed our bond, and I’m happy that I get to have a child with someone I love. But with our situation, he would surely take my child when it’s born, and I would be left with nothing again. I can’t take another heartbreak, especially that one. I will really lose my mind if even my child is taken away from me.

My wolf eventually stopped pushing for what it wanted, realizing I had a point. It also didn’t like the child to be away from us once born. I felt a little calmer after that. My wolf caved in once again, finally letting me follow my path.

The bus stopped at the last stop after two and a half hours of traveling. I checked my phone and ignored all the notifications and missed calls to find a hotel nearby. Luckily, I found a cheaper, although very sketchy one. I really can’t complain about the price I paid. Hopefully, I can move somewhere better after a few days, to another city if possible.

“Here’s your key. The room’s on the third floor.” The woman in her forties almost tossed the key at me before returning to watching a drama on her phone.

I forced a smile and thanked her before securing my bags on my shoulder and finding my room. Enhanced senses are a curse at times like this. The rooms aren’t soundproof, and it was much worse with my hearing. There were surprisingly more people staying in this hotel. All the mixed noise is making me dizzy. I took a deep breath and blocked the noises I could hear, or I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep tonight.

I resumed my search for my room and was welcomed by the strong smell of cigarettes, liquor, and other unearthly scents. I quickly opened the windows to let the smell out before I threw up.

My senses have been going haywire, and I’ve been more sensitive than usual. I assume that was part of the pregnancy too. Everything felt so alienating like my body wasn’t my own. I wish my mom were with me right now. I’m used to being alone, having no pack or family… but this, this is too much for me to handle alone. I can’t even visit the regular hospital to see if my child is healthy.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I mumbled as I curled on the bed. The sheets are surprisingly clean. Maybe the scent I’m getting is from the other rooms. I really don’t have the mood to figure it out.

My heart feels heavy with worry that I will fail at being a mother to my child. Werewolves carry their child for six months, and it isn’t for a long time either. I have to gather myself before I give birth, and I have another set of worries once the baby is out.

Regret quickly washed away my determination. My baby would indeed be taken care of better on Killian’s side. They have a pack doctor who can ensure everything is okay, and the child would have a pack I could never give.

I know it myself, but I can’t give up just yet.