Nightfall
2119 Words
"Thoughts of you, Transcend time
Whispering to the clouds to see the bright sun,
But only the rain pour down on my old black suit,
Thunder and Lighting, judging an empty shell,
Fragile like the a mirror in a local market,
Destined to breathe and fly over the heavens."
My sister called me just to make me listen to her poem. For some reason she often write poems these days. Is she in love? I don't mind it as long as she's don't get pregnant.
"Kersh, what are you doing?" Sarah said.
"Hold on Hon, I just finished talking to my sister, remember Jyna." I said.
They look confused from what I said, even I am was confused.
"Hon?" Sarah asked.
"Honestly, the truth is, without a doubt, and you might not to believe but I actually don't know what I said." I said.
"I didn't expect that you would hit on me, Kersh." Sarah said.
"Yes, I'm sorry. I should not say those words, after what you experienced. In our circumstances, I was able to escape because I am stronger than Kyla, which is natural, because I am a guy, but you, you're a woman. If a guy, would raped you, you won't be able to escape." I said.
"I was kidding, don't be mad."
"Huh?! But you just said. What's the truth then?" I asked.
"Look at my dress, do you see any ripped or any scar on my wow legs and arms?" Sarah said.
"I don't see any." I said.
"I'm sorry, I just can't help myself to say those words. You look so terrible earlier." Sarah said.
She and her dark humor, I almost forgot it but she's like a real life Nico Robin from One Piece.
"You know that is not a good joke?" I said.
"I'm sorry, I won't say it again. I promise." Sarah said.
"Anyway, what are you up to, Edward?" I asked Edward.
"What do you mean?" He said.
"Well, why you and Kyla are here in Leyte?" I said.
"Soul Search, I guess?" He said.
"Why, is Kyla in trouble?" I said.
"No she's not, I am." He said.
On my first round, I never heard of this. What seems to be his problem? I never see him depressed until Kyla finally broke up with him.
"What seems to be your problem?" I asked.
"I always wanted to die." He muttered.
"What?!" I shouted.
He never said something like this before, is he that so depressive before we met?
"I'm always tired of my life, you see." He said.
"I get that." Sarah said.
"Can you explain it to me, so that I can understand?" I said.
I want to know this side of him.
"Dying seems to be so hard. I want to commit suicide but I can't. My parents are still alive, I know if they saw me dead, they will cry so hard, and they wouldn't be able to take it. I'm afraid that they may kill themselves too or die as they become weak. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time. I always feel that my life is a messed up. f**k life! But what can I do?! It's so hard to live, so hard breath, my heart wants to scream, my mind wants to explode, and I always feel so tired. I don't want to feel this anymore. I always feel in pain. I tried to do something to make me change. I tried to love someone, which is why dedicate my life for her instead because I know to myself that I can't make myself survive on my own! I met new people but all of them betrayed me. Kyla was my neighbor, when I saw her having a messed up life, I want to change her, to give her a good life. It's been a year since we officially enter our relationship. I guess I'm putting my attention to her so that I won't be able to lose myself."
I never heard of this, so the reason why he can't help but to accept Kyla is because of this, I always wonder why he can't leave her alone. He is not just trying to change Kyla, but he wants to save himself. But how come that I didn't know this nor saw sign of him, having a suicidal thoughts. Did he met someone before he met me that change some of his life or he just hide it to me?
"I have a messed up family. My father is a womanizer, my mother can't leave him, and she loves him too much. I'm also a trash. I'm weak, I always run away. I never faced my problems, I just leave and never tried to give a second thought of trying to face it."
"You're such an Emo, Kersh but I somehow expect that from you." Sarah said.
"If we live together, I guess I won't be able to tell you my problems, because you yourself can't solve your problem means you wouldn't be able to help me too." Edward said.
I see, so that is the reason. He considered my emotions, he knows that I am mentally and emotionally weak. He always understand me but I never understand him. Am I really a friend to him? What am I even doing on the time when we lived together? Did I really tried to live with him? Did I tried to look at him, and tried to understand him a little better. I always see him as an annoying roommate, but I never tried to understand this man named Edward. Who are you Edward? Who is the real you?
"I often heard that, I'm used to it." I said.
"Have you ever heard that, your beard makes you look like a playboy?" Sarah said.
"What?! I never heard that!" I said.
Wait?! Oh! She also said that to me when we first met. If I am correct, she will also say, "But I always like the bad boy look." If I remember it correctly.
"I never like a beard, it looks too dirty." Sarah said.
What?! This is not what she said before.
"So you don't like a bad boy look?" I asked.
"I do, but beard looks dirty, try to shave or do something about it. Make it cooler, because right now, you look like a jobless, depressed, not even in a relationship kind of man." Sarah said.
"No he is, he has a date, and he's with Kyla's friend." Edward said.
Out of all the timing, why are you so honest, Edward?!
"Yeah, it's true. I'm in a date, though we are still not in a relationship. Just getting to know each other." I said.
I better say the truth, Sarah hate liars. She condemned them, though she often lie to me and used it as a joke or insult. Thinking back, I don't know why I fell in love with such a woman, but even now, I still love her.
"I see, so you're still available, then it means, you can still be taken." Sarah said.
"I don't understand." I said.
I do understand, I know her very well, this is her way to attract me. We get married, I know everything about you, from your head to your feet. Even how many moles she has.
"Here's my number, why not try to call me if you have some time, I guess, I'll still be here for a month." She said.
"Well then I'll keep this." I said.
I remember this number! I memorized it on the first round. I can easily remember this.
"See you around boys." She said.
She left and she still walks like a beauty queen. Seeing her again makes me fall in love again. Those smile, her red lips, her light brown eyes, her black long hair. She always has a mature aura. But what I love her the most is her dark humor and how playful she is.
"I never saw a man who has that kind of look." Edward said.
"What do you mean? Do I look funny or something?" I asked.
"You seem so in love with her Bro, if you can just see your face." He said.
"Well, she's so beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of her." I said.
"Is that so?" Those voice! It's Joy!
Damn! What should I do?! But wait? Sarah is my wife, she is my priority! I don't fear anything!
"Well you see...." I was about to say something, but then Joy punched me. Joy walked away afterwards. She punched me hard! I almost forgot that she always had a heavy arm even when we were young!
"That's okay, you just said, that woman is so beautiful in your eyes that you can't take off your eyes of her. Grab it, ask her out." Edward said.
"You're right." I'm so thankful as how understanding you are, Edward.
"Well you see, I never met a person like that. I mean, I never saw a woman that she's so beautiful in my eyes that I can't take off my eyes of her, like you do, and I know for sure that you should not waste that. Don't mind Joy, I'll talk to her." Edward said.
"Thank you bro! I awe you one!" I said.
I should follow her, Sarah, I miss her so much. I want to talk to her again. I wonder what kind of a person she is. Maybe she's still the same, but a little immature.
My phone is ringing, Jyna is calling. I answered it. "What is it?" I asked her.
Where is Sarah? I was searching for Sarah when Jyna said, "Brother, please help me!" She's crying, what is going on? I never heard her crying.
"What is it Jyna? What happened?" I asked.
"Mom! It's mom!" She said.
"What happened to our mother?" I asked.
"Please brother, help us!" She said.
What is going on? What should I do? No! I don't have to think, I have to see how's our mother is. I never heard Jyna cried like this. I heard her cried when she was little.
"Hey?! I thought you would go after her?" Edward said.
"I have emergency in the house, seems something happened to my mother. I have to find out, what happened." I said.
"I have a car, I'll take you home. Take Kyla to the room, I'll take the car to the gate." Edward said.
"Thank you!" I said.
Wait?! Edward has a car? I know that his family is somehow can afford a car but I didn't know that he has one. He never said that he have one, or maybe it wasn't his car but someone else. Anyway this is not the time for that! I brought Kyla to our room and I saw Joy in the kitchen table, drinking the some alcohol, her eyes feels like wants me to die.
"Tsk!" Joy seems annoyed.
"Joy I have to leave. Jyna called my phone and she told me that something happened to my mother. Edward will take me to my house, so please take care of Kyla for a while. She's so wasted." I said.
"What?!" Joy seems worried.
"I'll go for now. Take care!" I said.
"Just in case, you need a money, take this wallet. I saw yours earlier, you only have enough money to survive till the next paycheck. I have savings, you can borrow this, so you can take your mother to the hospital." Joy said.
"Thank you, I do really appreciate your thoughts, and I will accept this. I will never forget this. Thank you Joy." I said.
I feel so embarrassed, I f****d her, dated her, and then replaced her. Since when I become a trash like this? I know this will happen but I never thought that it was so heavy in my chest. It feels so hard to breath. I should change myself before I even become a complete trash.
I run as fast as I can to the gate, and then I saw a car. The window in the front seat opened, and I saw Edward's face. It's the right car.
"Thank you man!" I said.
"Quick, come and take a seat." Edward said.
Edward drove the car. It was so dark in the road. There are no road lights. I told him the way. He drive as fast as he can get but I just remembered that Edward is also drunk.
When I realized that a car suddenly appear in front of us, and our car collided to the truck.
My surroundings slowly fade away......
What will happen to us?
- Writer
