The Sin I Chose

It’s a lie.. its all been a lie.. That’s all that courses through my head as I feel myself growing more and more tired. My body is feeling like my heart has these last few days; numb to the pain. I feel the pressure on my abdomen as whatever, whoever applies pressure to the slippery area. Is it all blood? The more pressure that’s applied, the more I want to scream when the pain surges back. But, I can’t cry out. I feel like I’m dozing off… trapped inside my body as memories of him, us, run on repeat through my brain and all end with the same.But when I open my eyes, its not his looking back at me. I wish it was him holding me, even though I shouldn’t. My life is nothing but a lie. He is nothing but a lie. He broke me, took everything from me, and now someone has taken my life, too. My eyes opened quickly. The light shining through my second story window blurred my vision before my eyes focused on my elaborately designed vanity that sat parallel to my bed. Reaching over to the night stand I reached for my phone; nine o'clock. Perfect! Plenty of time to shower, dress, and tame my auburn hair that’s sprawled around my head before I need to leave. I've been anxiously awaiting this day for a long while, and I'd be damned if I run behind schedule. Todays the day I finally leave home. The day I get to start my college life on my own. Even though it is my second year of college, I've finally convinced my parents to not make me take online classes and allow me to transfer to the actual university. So, as I finished applying the final lip gloss touches to my lips, I pop the little tube back into my makeup back before depositing it into the last bag of toiletries I need to bring with me. Grabbing the bag bags off of my bed, i shut my door behind me as I make my way down my mother’s beautiful ornate staircase and deposit the bag next to the other at the front door. I walk into the kitchen, still seeing none of my family in sight. Grabbing an energy drink from the fridge I head back toward the foyer and are met by my parents coming from our sun room. I stop and smile at my beautiful mother whom already has tears welling in her eyes. She pulls me into a tight embrace just as my brother, Kace comes sauntering down the stairs. Mom pulls back to look at me again, pushing my auburn hair from my face. "It's not too late to change your mind", she coaxes, "Or I could stay home to ensure I'm much closer if you need anything!" "Now Kendra, you know this business trip is important". My father chimes in from behind us, pulling both of our attention to him. I moved from my mom as my father steps up, wrapping his arms around me now. I take in his embrace, knowing it'll be at least a month til I see him again. His business trips take them across the globe, and this time Switzerland calls their name. "Be safe kitten. You know the rules, and you know how to contact me in case of an emergency", my father begins but I cut him off quickly. "Daddy I'll be fine!" I exclaim as I shake my head at him. He pretends this is the first time I've heard this speech, even though it's the same one I get every time they go away on business or if I just go out with my best friend Emily for a night. But my father continues as if he didn't hear me speak. "This time is different. You won't be home under our normal protection. If you don't follow the rules and check in with Kace regularly, I'll pull you out of CSU and have you home before you can blink." He says this sternly and I know he's not joking. My dad is a tough man, and I know he's not one to Bluff. "I understand" I tell him not wanting to argue and risk my first opportunity at any sort of freedom. I know he knows I can handle myself since he's the one who has taught me all I know I’m the means of self defensed, but it's not worth the risk. I wrap my arms around him again as I pull mom into the the embrace too. "Be safe on your trip! I'll let you know when I make it to the university, though you might still be on the plane then", I say. Letting them go, I run over and wrap my arms around my big brother, who spins me around before setting me back down. I head around the corner under the stairwell and reach for my keys, but the glittery K hook sits there empty. I turn around confused, and before I can inquire dad cuts in. "I've already had your car moved to campus", he answers. I notice the smug smirk on the corner of his mouth and counter his look with one of my own, confusion. I'm not sure how he expects me to get to campus. There would be no sense of Kace driving me two hours away just to drive right back here. I also know my brother can't leave because he has to attend to business while father is away, effective immediately. A little annoyed now by his move without telling me I ask, "so am I walking?" From that Kace muffles a laugh as my dad raises his eyebrows to motion me to the door. "No sweetheart, I would never do that to you. Your ride is waiting outside. Kace, would you please grab the hopefully last of your sister’s things?" With that realization kicks into me like a bucking bull. I turn around and open the heavy wooden doors of our home with both hands to see the blue BMW parked right in front of the fountain with its driver leaning against the side of it. His black jeans and black tee fit him well. His hair is gelled up into a perfect fo-hawk that finishes his look to match his flawless face. And even though everything about him is gorgeous and any other girl would be over the moon he was there for them, at this moment, I couldn't be more pissed. Leon looks up at me from his phone with a devilish grin on his cocky face. "No way", I say turning back to dad. Kace is no longer trying to hide his amusement as he saunters over to greet my unwelcome Chauffeur. "Kitten, this gives me a peace of mind to know your safe at the university", dad says. "And besides" mom chimes in, "y'all have know each other since you were in diapers! We know he'll take care of you". I roll my eyes at them as they smile at me. As if I need protection. I am more than capable of driving ,myself. And besides, Leon is going to another university on the outskirts Washington, so him driving me out to CSU if pointless. But, arguing would just get me stuck back here behind a computer screen and away from my best friend another year. No thanks. Putting on the fakest smile I can muster, I give my parents a salute before turning and walking toward Leon's car. He's already helped Kace put my bags in the back as he goes over and opens my door for me to step inside. "Ready to go kitten?" He asks me, leaning onto the open window with one arm, the other meeting the small of my back as to guide me to my seat while biting down on his gum and smiling wide at me. I roll my eyes as I step inside. "You know not to call me that", I send quietly so only he can hear me. He chuckles, closing the door behind me. He then bumps my brothers knuckles a final time, and climbs into the driver seat. I watch my parents wave as we drive off. As soon as we are out of range my smile vanishes, annoyance painted on my face as I pull out my cell to text Emily that I am officially on my way. I am more than excited for this new adventure in my life, but am annoyed dad sent Leon freaking Sussex to babysit me. I shouldn't be surprised since Leon is also going off to college this year anyway, but I after he drops me off he will have a nice 2 hour drive to his own campus. I shouldn’t be surprised Leon was the chosen to take me out here. Kyle Sussex has been my dad’s right hand man and best friend forever. Our families grew up together, and if my dad has an actual say in this matter, I'd betrothed to Leon. Dad would want nothing more than for me to marry him and permanently link our families. But I'm having no one tell me who I can marry, even if its custom to our kind of people. That doesn't mean I haven't had loads of pressure in the matter. Don't get me wrong, Leon is beyond handsome, but he's my oldest friend; My annoying, over bearing, bossy, oldest friend. I look up from my phone to see Leon still grinning at me as he chew his gum, and I stick my tongue at him. "Oh come on KK, it'll be fun!" He says reaching over and placing his hand on my thigh. I shake him off and he chuckles. He then reaches over and turns up the radio before returning his hand to the wheel. He puts the station on he knows I like, and I change my mood to at least enjoy the trip and jam out to them the entire ride to CSU.