My Boss is my Second Chance Mate: The Alpha after Goodbye

A NIGHT OF APOLOGIES

MALEA

I stared through the window at the darkening sky. The city lights had already begun to glow into the night, scattering building after building. It was bright, but the moon rising above was still lot brighter than anything.

Even from inside the apartment, I could feel the faint pulse of my wolf stirring beneath my skin. It wasn't painful yet, but it will be soon. After almost five years of forcing my wolf back during every full moon, I had learned how to endure it.

At first, it had been unbearable. My wolf would claw at my insides, desperate to get out. Every bone in my body would ache with the effort of suppressing something that was never meant to be restrained.

There had been nights when I curled into a ball on the bathroom floor, biting down on a towel just to keep myself screaming so Aria wouldn't wonder and get worried about me.

Eventually, I learned to live with it. The pain slowly became a routine and became normal part of my life later on. But that pain was the least of my concerns tonight.

I turned away from the window and immediately headed toward my room and slowly pushed it open.

My heart sank seeing Aria's condition.

Aria was curled up on our bed. Her body was drenched in sweat and the blankets were tangled around her legs, face scrunching in discomfort.

"Aria?" I called.

Her eyes barely opened.

"Mommy..."

I rushed to her side and scoped her into my arms, immediately feeling how hot her body was.

"Shh. Mommy's here."

She whimpered and buried her face against my chest.

"It hurts, Mommy."

My chest tightened with her words, immediately feeling guilty as she trembled against me.

"Nixie is crying."

I held her tighter. "I'm very sorry."

I brushed the damp hair away from her forehead and wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry."

I hated saying those words because they were never enough. Nothing I could say would make this easier. I was sorry that this was the only life I could give her, that she has to hide instead of running under the moon like other wolves. She had to suffer through something she didn't even understand.

Most of all, I was sorry that I had made the decision to keep her away from the only place that could possibly give her a safe space to shift.

If only I agreed for us to go to Riven's territory-

I quickly shook my head, pushing the thought away. I made my choice, after all. I couldn't let myself doubt it now.

I held Aria closer as her body trembled.

"It's okay." I kissed the side of her head. "Mommy's here."

She whimpered loudly again, gasping in pain as her own wolf clawed at her insides. Staying in a tiny apartment, in an enclosed space is pure torture to our kind.

I looked toward the window. The moon was already rising higher.

My wolf stirred harder. I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed through the familiar ache now mixed with awful guilt in my chest.

"It's okay, Aria." I stroked her back. "You can let go."

Fortunately, Aria's wolf form is still small enough to move around the place. It was never ideal, but it was better than letting her suffer what we have to endure months after months.

In the span of a few seconds, the little girl in my arms disappeared beneath a pile of clothes and a small wolf pup landed on my lap.

"Aria." I called, still a little alienated to see my daughter's wolf form.

I quickly helped pull the remaining clothes away from her body, looking at her with both guilt and pride. I couldn't help the latter. She was truly an alpha.

In a different circumstance, I would be fully happy for her. But now...

The pup jumped from my lap. I almost held my breath, afraid that she would become feral again.

“Aria, baby?" I called, almost too desperately.

She looked back at me and I saw recognition in her eyes.

I felt instant relief, almost forgetting about the pain I felt. But it didn't really last when Aria looked away and walked toward the corner of the room.

She sat facing the wall, away from me.

My shoulders drooped, feeling the guilt swell on me again.

“Aria, please look at me."

The pup didn't move.

She was sulking. I knew that much. Her ears drooped and her tail curled around her body until she looked like a small ball of fluff.

A painful lump formed in my throat. She's even refusing to look at me.

Aria probably remembered what Riven had told her. She knew she could have been somewhere safe tonight, running under the moon and bathing in moonlight, surrounded by other wolves instead of being locked inside an apartment while her mother watched her suffer.

I bit my lip. My wolf whimpered inside me. The pain I felt died down with my wolf now sympathizing with me.

"I'm sorry, Aria. Someday, you'll understand."

The pup's ears twitched but still refused to look at me.

I forced myself to smile even though tears had already gathered in my eyes.

"I promise, everything I do is for you."

She remained silent. Her head lowered even farther.

I couldn't take it anymore and wiped my eyes quickly before she could see me cry.

"I'll be right outside, okay? Call me if you need anything. I want to hear your voice.”

I couldn't help but add the last bit. I genuinely want to hear her through mind link, to make sure she is well conscious even in that form.

She didn't respond and tucked her face more.

I let out a strangled sigh and stepped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind me as silently as I could.

I walked away and found Mara was standing in the living room.

She looked more terrible as I was. Her shoulders were tense, she is pale as a paper, and one hand was pressed against her abdomen.

She quickly wiped her eyes when she noticed me looking.

"Don't."

I frowned. "What?"

"Don't look so guilty."

She straightened herself slightly. "That was your choice, after all."

Her words were blunt, almost cruel. But then again, she didn't know why I was doing it.

I glanced toward Aria's closed bedroom door.

"How about you?" I couldn't help but ask, more curious than annoyed.

Mara's expression changed. "What?"

"You've been a rogue for years. I thought it was just that. But if Riven allows rogues to stay in his so-called sanctuary, why haven't you gone there and stayed here all the time?" I threw the question I've been curious about since I learned about her affiliation with that "rogue alpha."

Mara stared at me for a moment, a look of pure annoyance before she gave a humorless laugh.

"Because it's useless."

My brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

She looked toward the same window I was looking at earlier.

"My wolf doesn't want to come out anymore."

I froze. Was that really possible?

Mara shrugged. "She hated the world and refused to come out. So even if I went to Riven's territory now, I'd just be in pain while watching everyone shift. I have no choice but to endure the pain every single full moon."

My heart sank, realizing how mean I sounded earlier when I didn't knew about her condition.

"Mara..."

She glanced at me. “Don't."

I immediately lowered my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. We didn't exactly tell each other of why we have become rogues. But still, I'm sorry for not knowing."

Mara scoffed. "You're apologizing an awful lot today."

"I'm sorry."

She sighed. "You're doing it again."

“Sorry..."

Mara rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else.

Neither of us spoke, and that was when I heard a faint sliding sound.

My head snapped toward my room and realization hit me.

The veranda, I didn't lock the sliding windows leading to it.

I dashed back to my room and pushed the bedroom door open.

The door leading to the veranda was open by only a fraction, but enough for a small wolf pup to squeeze through.

My gaze immediately dropped to the bed. Her clothes still there, neatly folded where I left it.

I rushed toward the veranda. The curtains were swaying gently in the night air, but no wolf pup anywhere.

Mara appeared behind me, putting two and two together when she saw the empty room.

“Had she gone feral again?"

I shook my head. “She was conscious earlier, but she was sulking so I went out to give her space. I didn't know...I forgot to lock the sliding door."

Mara cursed under her breath, eyes searching the darkness but the pup was already nowhere to be found.

My mind raced in so many awful thoughts. She was upset at me. She wanted to go to Riven's territory so bad, to feel the freedom I couldn't give her.

But she didn't know how dangerous it was outside. Hunters are crawling the cities during the full moon to make sure no wolves would be spotted by other humans.

My daughter, I protected her all these years...

“Malea!"

Mara's voice rang in my ears, but effectively snapped me out of my spiraling thoughts.

“Spiral into guilt later after we find her. We need to find your kid before a hunter spots her!"

I gasped in realization, immediately grabbing a jacket and wiping my tears. I can't waver at times like this.

We reached out of the apartment, and I couldn't help but glance at the moon.

“Please...not my daughter."