Falling for my Ex

As I sat across the room with my drink on my hand swirling it and staring at it contently, I took a large sip and laid it on the floor, discerning of how life had suddenly taken a bumpy c***k on me, I had such an astounding life; an acquitted life full of amity and elation, though we had not much I adored every bit of it with him. As many believed, I got fortunate, I am grateful, I married my better half, a very devoted man. To be straight-forward he was and still is my best friend; I hope. My face dropped in sadness thinking of how he now takes our relationship. My name is Leila; the legal wife to Billy. Yes, the legal wife, up until now the law still recognize me as the one. My heart sunk at this thought, in the previous years, I needed not to introduce myself, he was always by my side, everyone knew who we were and how deep our love was. Uurgh! F*ck life! I groaned out in bitterness. Even with a broken heart I still can’t find a good reason to hate him. Billy was one of a kind, He always seemed to me to have an excellent heart, and that is the quality I value most in people, in a way to us both it was love at first sight. he was the most lovable person, a kind hearted person, the best dad, a loyal friend, and above all the most romantic partner. Saying out all these qualities of him reminds me of our good days.   Our love life was one of a kind, even when he was upset with me, in the absence of a smile, he would always have appeared to be genial and warm, there was always a cool gaze in his expression. His presence always made me feel at ease, but now all these are just soon to be gone memories.  my face had shriveled, my upper lip had sunk in, and my eyes were dim, at the thought of letting my memories with Billy rest. I reached out to my drink once more, pulled out my hand to catch it, but it slithered and almost splashed, my eyes were focused on our wedding portrait, that was actually the only beautiful thing and memory I still got from our big day, slowly I relaxed my hand and progressively held the glass, as I took a sip. my lips held a faint smile and my eyes twinkled. I still remember our last days together, they were the most memorable days of our lives, we had an erotic love life, our c****s life was something else, to him any place was okay as long as it was with me, he loved hugging me from behind, making me feel his girth even in public, his tender warm lips touching mine always made me dreamy. His calm expressions while calming me down were the most magical ones. Upon remembering all this a slow smile spread over my mouth and spilled into my eyes. I remember our last flirtatious, he was wild and beasty, he did it roughly like he knew it was going to be our last ever encounter. The moment he got his flight details confirmation text, he quickly rushed towards me and slammed me against the wall, he dug his fingers into my shoulder, eliciting a whimper from me, I ignored the pain he had caused my back and stared straight into his eyes. Not caring what I was doing, I still held the vacuum cleaner in my hands, before I could even say a word, his icy lips were all over me, kissing and sniffing my neck endlessly. And he thrust into my core pumping his girth until I could only feel him. A breathless moan escaped my lips. The tantalizing sound sending pleasurable shock waves through his body. My hips rocked bringing him father until- I flanged my hands around his neck, sucking him greedily, for a second we forgot the open windows and the door, I tried resisting but, he grabbed my hips, kissing me hard and leaving me breathless. I relaxed my muscles and slowly danced into his tunes, we were kissing, our bodies pressed together and arms around each other, when a cold breeze and sharp rays of sunlight struck us, reminding us we were in a wrong place. Suddenly a loud c***k, as if lightning were striking, sent a shockwave of power that made my mouth tremble. I sunk in fear of the kids catching up on us, a cold expression covered my body as I slowly dropped my kiss turning my head towards the creaking sound. But he somehow was unbothered by the sound, he ignored the terror and pulled me back slating my head to his chest, he pressed hard my cheeks with both his hands as his gaze lifted to mine and he smiled as he noted the rising color in my cheeks. Giving me the look of, ‘don’t worry it’s our home,’ as he pulled me close again, kissing my lips while one hand fumbled with the buttons on my pants. Gently I relaxed and played along but still my mind was on edge. With a knob in my throat, I managed to whisper, “the kids.” His expressions dropped by the sound from me, he gritted his teeth in a boring gesture and sighed out loud as he responded, “I took them to Suzan on my way here, now…...?” Suzan is my elder sister. Huh! he always takes care of everything, what a show off. I smiled mordantly at him. my arms slid around him, and he pulled me against him, kissing me hungrily. His warm lips left mine and started down my neck, forcing a moan from mine. He continued patting me greedily as his body burned against mine in eagerness. When his lips left mine, they seared a hot trail down my neck and onto my breast. His hand slipped to my side, gently exploring upward until it reached my bust. His fingers searched under the elastic of my bra, finding and grasping the br**st When he cupped them in his hand outside my blouse, I stiffened instinctively. When passion brought a louder moan to my lips, he finally lifted me into his arms and carried me on his hips. Rubbing his girth with mine, loud moans from both of us could be heard, as I held him firmly on the neck, gasps escaping my lips. I pressed my back further on the wall as he groaned pleasantly stretching further until his hand hit my loins. I whined with desire and turned, molding my body against his as I kissed him fervently. His hands dropped following down to my gammon, making me spread my feet as I let him slid his palpate in my groin. He gently rubbed his feeler making me want more than a groping from him. I raised my left leg high, as I wailed in hunger, thrusting for him. Gently I let down my hand pressing myself against him, that I felt his heart racing in joy, I directed my fingers to his fly and opened it hungrily. Sliding down through the wall, I rested and crouched, I felt his fingers on my hairs, brushing it gently as he pulled me closer to his putz, making me sweat in cold, I reached out and grabbed him as I watered my lips, I smoothly sucked him, soft moans from him made me congealed even more. He steadily moved side by side letting me have a clear…… And he thrusted into my core, my breath hitched when those swirls of blue turned a shade darker. I spread my feet wider letting him slide his putz in my girth, as he roughly pumped me up and down with his muscles, making me want him inside me even deeper. ‘Deeper, deeper, rougher!’ I yelled out at him grabbing his neck tightly. He took me down turning me round into several positions. Like, he had just hooked up with a stranger at a bar like they did in movies. His expression showed the hunger and thirst he had, he groaned in pleasure as he continued pumping me till my mouth ran dry and, all I could feel was his slippery chest pressing hard on my dry front. He relaxed his muscles and pumped slower, moaning gentle as I enjoyed his warmth. Suddenly he shifted his gentleness to a roughness, he drove even harder groaning out louder pumping more beastly till I could feel his hot c*m inside me, only then did he relax and laid down on the cold tiles spreading his hands, as he breathed heavily from the exhaustion.                                                                    My body ached from all the pain, but it was worth it. He had taken me down for two long hours, I smiled mischievously as I joined him, lying on his chest, he gently patted me on my back, turning me over as he rested on his elbow, smiling at me with satisfaction, he thanked me for the wonderful time I had given him. At this moment my mind was circulating at the ‘world game’ he had just given me. When his warm lips rested on mine suddenly, they arose my sensual desires, I moaned smoothly in silent hiding my desire from him. Thinking of all these sweet memories I can’t help but sink my heart in pain. Now all these are just memories which soon or later I have to bury them. Even as I tried to smile my pain away, my face could not agree with me, my expression is as dry as my life. Seeing my self through the mirror I can’t help but chuckle sarcastically at myself. I took a small nip and took off, headed to the big aperture in my bed chamber, Things are nice as they are, I said to myself, and I began walking up and down the room, not stepping simply on the resounding parquet but treading with each step from the heel to the toe; I had on a new and favorite pair of shoes, and listening to the regular tap of the heel and creak of the toe as gladly as I had to the sounds of my own voice. I tiptoed through the glass and leaned out the window, eyeing the wide ledge. I placed the goblet on the window, several of the ice cubes went disturbed as the liquid dripped down the side of the glass. Warmth and cold shot through me, righting my stomach but bringing intense pain to my head, at the thought of being utterly alone. I just stood there, watching our portrait, dozens of thoughts came flashing through my mind, I fixed my gaze to a great depth into his eyes, they were the prettiest eyes sparkled from the inside out, somehow, I felt the earnestness of his love, and the good memoirs came down blooming in my mind. Suddenly I felt a blackout and passed out. It took me a while to build up my strength and summon up myself. My head hurt a bit, but that was not as much as how my core was throbbing. Our life journey is no different to others, my life with him has always been magical, I must say he was a smoothie, every member of my family prized him, or still do adore him. My life with him started on a scant heed, he was a friend; a little miracle that appeared at the right time. By some means, the air had a stench to it, not the bad one, it was smoky with tautness, and I suddenly felt the need to go look for someone, the house felt hollower and frostier than usual. my eyes dropped to my wedding band, lying on a rope, which I had hinged at the top of my dressing mirror, I knitted my brows and frowned my pinwheel-shaped face as I watched my hair, it was scruffier than usual and looked tangled, my shoulders sagged and my face solemn, I furrowed my brows in thought. And glared at the mirror as if I was waiting for someone or something to pop out. Have I lost my mind? No that can’t be, I just had a thorough psychological check-up yesterday. I smiled piteously as I hark back to my past with Billy, We met back then when I was still heavy with child, ‘our primogeniture’; my first child, I loved his self-effacement, my erstwhile affiliation left me completely broken and shuttered, I loathed everything related to a pensive connection, and he knew precisely how to win me over, he offered his shoulder to lean on, whenever I needed his help, he would always be there for me. He was always a call away, anytime any day he was always there to save the day for us, he was more than an idol to us. My baby daddy walked out on me when I was two months pregnant, he made it clear to us, he was not ready to be a father, but then again, he was contented he was going to be one, he guaranteed he won't be a dad to us. The day he broke the news to me was the dimmest day of my life, I still hark back to like it was the recent past. I seized irresolutely my beaker as I swayed it round, I recalled him walking in. I flicked through his hunched figure and my eyes perceived his fly half open. My jaw dropped suddenly, as I analyzed him, he gripped strongly his arm at his back, as he squirmed with it, like he was hauling something hefty from behind. He kept looking behind, he was jagged by it that he did not notice me sitting at a different position as I used to. I stood up to help him, but he shrugged not to worry, he finally upturned his brows, and the air that got in my lungs got stuck. His eyes were red rimmed and dark circles had now taken hostage under his eyes, he looked like crap, but I wasn’t going to speak out loud. He gently removed his hand behind and besides a woman popped from nowhere, and they both smiled hysterically at me. The air was filled with tension. Not the bad tension, I looked up to them calmly, as I waited for an enlightenment, they were filled with confidence, they crossed fingered their hands, for a moment they looked guilty, but suddenly their expressions changed. I held my face decisively with questions running down my mind endlessly What could be the reason for these sudden changes in their expressions? They froze and waited for my gesture to welcome them in. I stretched out and tilted my head towards the seat, signaled them to take a seat, my eyes got stuck at their hands, the lady tried to stretch her hand out but he held them firmly. He walked in with a woman, his much-loved cousin, they sat across the room, unswervingly opposed to me. What could be going on? I thought out silently to myself, why the sudden affection between them? His aloofness gave me goosebumps, he sat there folding his fingers with no compunction in his mien, I sensed right away he was not ready for us, but deep down I hoped for good news. He sat there with the look on his face like he had won, like nothing I was going to say was going to adjust how he felt, sitting there and telling me direct to my face he had fallen out of love, and we were on his way, so he needed to leave us. His words were like a sharp sword deafening through my heart, he shuttered my self-worth, and I felt like my soul had walked out of my body. But I gained courage, and controlled myself from cracking a tear, he was not worthy crying for. I sat calmly and looked at him gabble out sharp verses, he spoke very little but it felt like I was reading an entire broken heart novel. I watched closely his erogenous mouth moving up and down but couldn’t process a single word from, all I could think of was getting close to him and pat him so he could shut up, but something strong held me up from excruciating myself. I sat rigid and held firmly the pew I was sitting on, I crooked down in pain, my reveries decayed down, I had crumbled my youthful, I surrendered my life to a handsome lurch. I couldn’t hear straight his words. I was lost in my own thoughts, he suddenly stopped and stood up, that’s when I knew I had to do something, and I raised my head high as I spoke in a low tone. I tried to beseech him to stay, I swayed him but he had already made up his mind, I at least needed an enlightenment to fathom his whys and wherefores, I needed to know how the promises we made meant nothing to him, to me it was like he had just committed a treason, how can I, sacrificing my youth to fulfill our promise not be enough? From that moment onwards he became another person, the thought of how I was going to explain the walk out of his dad to our son was my only disquiet. I swore to myself to be the solidest being that he will ever know, and I swore to him I will be there for him when he will need a love strong enough, I was going to lug his stake for us, no matter how bad the storm gets,                                                    I picked up my dignity and we walked out decently without picking up a fight, as I walked in the corridor, I could hear the laughter of their success, that’s when it hit me, she was the other woman, or I was the other woman, above all I was the loser in that race, ever since we walked out, I have never looked back to bother him anymore. Anyway, it was understandable he was just few months older than me, I was twenty by then, so yeah, I figured we were still young. I fell in love with my son the day I knew I was pregnant.                                                                *** I chuckled and had a soft cough as I gazed at my son’s picture lying at the side of my bed. By now the only thing that got me living the next day were my four kids, my elder son to be precise, he was my source of strength, his words kept running in my mind over and over again. I sat beside my little son’s bed and tried to soothe his feverish moans while in my troubled heart I prayed, "Father in Heaven, spare my baby's life!" I didn't drink long, and I nuzzled his neck then found his lips with my own. They were the smoothest. His elder brother watched us, tears rolling down him uncontrollably as he calmed me with his words. ‘Mommy in my heart you’re my true love, we will conquer this storm together, have a little faith in us’ as their fuzzy picture of him holding his younger brother hand flushed in my mind. His words gave me courage, How can I give up when he hasn’t? Who am I to shut his dream? We always win. I beamed as I picked up his picture and smooched it, I slowly dredged up the happy days when I used to live one day at a time I used to work as a charwoman to one of the most compassionate folks I have ever met in this world, they took me in when I was a minor; 16, I had dropped out of school, high school on my third grade, my mom had to let me go, we had a very stiff life Thinking of all this made me avid, suddenly the urge to reflect on my past life came to me I picked up my glass and swirled it smoothly as I watched all the ice cubes melt, I felt relaxed hearing the sound of the ice cubes cracking over each other, I smirked out poignantly. I was there exultant with everyone I treasured by my side, I had everything, money fame, kids, name it, I was at peace, but still not complete. I missed my kids, somehow, I needed a break from them, but they were my strength and now an urge to have them back came, still I made a promise, they needed a safe and stress-free home to live, and I was dealing with a lot. Taking care of my other three children was frenetic. I took out my phone and searched through my phone book, as I scrolled down my sister’s number, her words came rushing down in my memory. ‘Try fix yourself before calling us, only do it, if necessary, make a call when things are better or have worsen, if not wait for me to call, do not disrupt their holiday please.’ Her voice shutting down in pain as she turned around, to walk away, she gently held my cheek as she bid me goodbye, she turned immediately to avoid an emotional scene, her long hair covering her shoulder, she hid her watery eyes from me. My current situation was eating everyone close to me. If only I could fill their sad faces with a smile. Everyone was on edge waiting for my call. Either good news or a bad one, we needed to get over the storm. I leaned towards the wall and took my eyes off my wedding picture, sipping bit by bit my drink. The harsh painful image of my childhood came back to me, I educed my mom, crying in silent in the lavatory trying to pigskin her soreness from us, I did not know I would grow up so fast and relieve her past, I was now the mom hiding the pain in my smile, for the sake of my kids. My mom got thrown out of her house by my father, she had to go and settle in with my elder sister, who was an angel sent from heaven by the way, until things started falling apart. Well, that is a story for another day. I smiled at the walls; I was actually telling my story to my wedding portrait. I sipped the last drop and took my tumbler to the kitchen sink. Thinking of how I traveled miles away from home to go work as a maid. My passion for finishing school never dies away, my superiors braced me throughout, I worked hard both as a helper and as an apprentice, fortuitously I accomplished my high school studies at the right age. Two years later I got pregnant, it was a regret to them, I had to bid goodbye to them and forcefully move in with my baby daddy, our first week was magical, he was kind and very appreciative, but then he started to transform. He became vicious and discourteous; he would walk in late and bang the door hysterically. This never bothered me, but when he walked in with a lady fully packed to move in as his wife, I had to walk away and leave them peacefully, my life mattered more than a father figure. I walked out when I was two months. I sat down on the flight of stairs, I thought how life had precipitously become acerbic with me, in a split second, I had lost everything that made a difference in my life, my peace of mind, life had become futile, my pillar was now a stranger to me, I had no friends to call and cry on. Time drags by, it seemed to pass by sluggishly, a second seemed like an hour, I patiently bided my time intently for the night to fall by, so that I could rush to the infirmary. I loved being dead to the world, but had gone days without even flushing, my whole attention baffled at the enigma the life had tossed at me. I was afraid of the dark, but now I felt more contented being in a murky shallow place, I bolted my eyes and tried to overlook the soreness my little child was going through in the hospital bed, he was barely 2 years old, why did life pick my little one and left me. Tears of pain fell down my cheeks, I felt like I was running short of air in my lungs, whenever I thought of the pain he was going through, I fought to cover the pain, within me, but then I remembered, once, Mary J. Blige, sung (In each tear, There’s a lesson, makes you wiser than before, and makes you stronger than you know, and each tear brings you closer to your dreams.) I dreamed of having my kids back home with me. I went back upstairs, I ambled sloppily across the scope and hopped back to my bed, I closed my eyes gently hoping to get some sleep, but just as I was about to go deep to it, a ray of sunlight sneaked past the curtains and shown on me, it was dawn already, I was a bit calmer now. Suddenly, the unforeseen tolling of a phone interrupted my sweet calmness of the scene and woke me from my dreams. With my eyebrows crumpled compactly, I trundled over and concealed my ears with a pillow, aiming to ignore the call. I was scared of what was going to be conveyed. Nonetheless the caller snubbed to give up, only after being contrived by the vibration and the ringing for a while did, I decided to stretch my arm and grab the phone on the bedside table. “Hello.” My voice was hoarse as I was only half awake, and there was a hint of irritation from my tone. “Why did you carry the test results? Yet you don’t seem to have lost any sleep over it?” The voice from the other end was as deep as a cello. It sounded witty but far-off. Instantly after hearing this I opened my eyes wide and stared at the unfamiliar number on display before exclaiming. “What did you say?” “We’re sending over someone to you.” And the call was disconnected. All I could hear was the beeping of the disconnected phone call. What a weirdo!                                                   Even though I quaked my head as I thought how odd the whole thing was, I was determined to know what was going on My heart began to race after listening to the mysterious voice. For some reason I had an amnions emotion about it, but before I could seek out an answer, my butler knocked on my door. “Ms. Leila, there’s a package for you that requires your signature.” I knew just then it came from the mysterious phone call. What the hell does he want from me? What did me……? I was knitting my eyebrows in hesitancy when I heard another knock on the door, before he called out again “Ms. Leila?” “All right I heard you. I’m coming.” I rushed to the bathroom and dusted up as I changed into a fresh set of clothes to the shortest time possible, I wasn’t going to let a phone call make me late to my son’s appointment. I stretched out soundly as I rushed downstairs, I saw somewhat a delivery man, on a lab coat, with a familiar hospital name tag on it. “Sorry for making you wait.” I mumbled out unapologetic I habitually signed my name, Leila Billy, on the document he was holding as I took the parcel he had. He restrained from letting go of it, I struggled to get it from him. He somehow did not want to give me. Was he here for just a signature? I thought out silently as I screened his face closely, he smiled softly watching me struggle to take the parcel. “Aren’t you going to let go of my parcel mister?” I sounded pissed off He gently shook his head; No! We stood there staring at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do, we looked at each other as if we were waiting for a signal to end a staring contest, and he kept smiling at me which was really irritating. A phone vibration interrupted our staring contest, we both reached out to our cell phones, not knowing whose phone was. Oops! It was mine. A deep agitated voice from the other end of the line spoke out “When will the stupid battle end? Go get the results and give him, we’re running out of time.” He hung up on me again. “What results are you guys talking about?” I asked him, signaling how confused I was. “Your little boys test, you left with it in a hurry before his new doctor analyzed it, there is a new team of physicians, just as you requested, handling your little angel.” He bowed down gently to show respect as he smiled calmly. Oh heavens, he had such a deep sexy voice. But, somehow. His voice suddenly felt familiar, like not the good one, nor the bad one, but I somehow felt close to it, which gave me shivers, I stared at him with a question mark in my expression. He folded his hands and a perfect left brow lifted as he waited for me to do something. He has got to be kidding right? I looked at my butler who stood right beside