CRYSTAL POV
Ryan suddenly covered his face with one shaking hand like he physically couldn't handle hearing it anymore.
And somehow that hurt too. Because I realised then that he really did remember every second of it.
"I had to convince Voss," he whispered brokenly behind his hand. "If I didn't do it that way, he wouldn't have believed. And if I looked hesitant for even one second, he would've known I was lying about ending it, and then he would've come after you immediately."
"And you think that makes it better?" I whispered.
"No."
His answer came instantly. He was painfully honest.
"No," he repeated, lowering his hand slowly, revealing eyes filled with so much guilt and self-hatred that it made my chest ache despite everything. "It doesn't make it better. It makes
