Farm life a wonderful experience

we moved to the farm when I was 13 I'm not gonna lie I was so fun and exciting at first but it got tough and I won't lie there was lots and lots of fight going on and I felt like giving up alot but I didn't we kept fighting. I raised many baby calves and I was exiting and it got harder and harder and I gave up and I'm not pround of it not at all I am embarrassed I would fo back if I could and try harder and not give up but I did and there was consequences and we stopped with the baby cows because of me because I was a coward and didn't say hoe I really felt I would go back to that day any time. I think alot if didn't give up we could still have calves . me and my dad fought alot my dad didn't talk to me for days and I hated it I felt like absolute s**t because I disappointed my dad . we lot over 70 baby calves because they died of being sick that's a half a million rand wort of cattle I cried because I blamed my self and I'm not gonna lie half if it probably was my fault .