HEAL ME, LOVE ME

The rain wouldn’t stop. It came down in angry sheets over the quiet estate, soaking the streets and hammering against the windows like it had something to say. Thunder cracked loud and sharp, drowning out the faint cry of a baby left out in the storm. The gloomy weather matched the feel of Damien's house. The house gave off the feeling of depression and suppressed emotions. Inside the house was even darker, the expensive furniture did nothing to brighten up the sitting room. Loud bangs echoed through the house, it Sydney his wife, a young woman whose light has left her eyes, she had tears running down her face as she pleaded with him from the kitchen storage room. “Damian, please I am begging you take her back inside the house, she is just five months old. I can't let her stay out there, she is too young. She is your daughter as well. “ “That's is the problem, she is a girl. A daughter I never wanted. If you didn't kill my son, we wouldn't be here now.“ He thundered, his voice making her flinch, despite the fact that she couldn't see him behind the door. “I can't possibly kill my own child, you know the circumstances surrounding his birth and death, Damian in the name of whatever you believe in, I beg of you, please bring her back inside. I already lost two children, I won't survive this time. Please. “ she pleaded, desperation clawing to the surface from the urgency in her voice. “I don't care, if you lose this trash of a child, she is totally useless to me” he deadpanned l, as if the child heard him, her cries increased and Sydney's heart ached even more. “I need someone to carry on my family name, not some trashy girl child.“ He added and left. “Damian, please open the door. I will do anything you want, just open the door.“ She hiccuped from too much crying, but got no response. “If you won't open the door, atleast get her back inside “ she added banging on the door with utter desperation but got no response. She dragged her body down the door as more tears bathed her cheeks, her mind going back to how she met Damian. ******* She had just gotten into college back then, she was vibrant and colorful. Everything was going perfectly well until her second year, when her mother fell seriously ill. She had no money, she had met all her relatives but couldn't even raise half the money needed for the surgery. It was at this point she met Damian through her friend, he needed a wife to be able to inherit his family fortune, she needed the money so when he chose to sign a contract marriage with her, she was beyond happy. But tragedy struck when after her contract marriage, her mom died receiving the surgery meant to save her life. She was at the lowest point of her life, Damian offered a shoulder to cry on and a caring front. She fell for it. A year into their contract, sparks began to fly and they cancelled the contract going for a real lovely marriage. By now she was just twenty-one and pregnant with their first child. The ultrasound scan showed that she was pregnant with twins, Damian was happy, he pampered her, got his personal maid, - Nessarose, an elderly woman to cater for her, but all these changed when she gave birth to a still child and a sickly daughter who was later confirmed dead. ********* The clicking and sound of keys on the door brought her back to her present. She stood up , wiping her face vigorously, ready to push whoever was at the door out of her way. The door opened and she did just what she had in mind. She rushed out of the kitchen, through the living room and out of the house. There not a single sound apart from the rain and thunder. She paused in her steps on arrival, shaking her head at the negative thoughts that crossed her mind as if it would destroy the possibility of it coming to pass. She suddenly took long strides towards the tiny figure wrapped up in nothing but thin baby pajamas. Her heart sank with each step, she dreaded the worst as she got closer. “Baby? Fifi?“ She called out, as she knelt and carried the wet figure into her arms, trying to sound happy, her daughter always giggled at her playful tone when calling her. “Fiona, smile for mummy, mummy is sorry, smile hmm” she pinched her now pale cheeks. Those cheeks used to be rosy and full of life. “Fiona, mummy is bad, scold mummy.“she said hugging the figure to her chest, the rain trenching her from head to toe. The baby was so cold and pale, her once plump, pink lips are now blue and charped. “Fiona, don't do this to mummy, cry, throw your tiny feet in the air like you love to” she cried. “Let's, take her to the hospital.“ came a voice from behind, it was Nessarose. Sydney gave a weak but determined nod, hurried up to her feet, she didn't wait for any other suggestions and ran towards the gate, leaving the estate barefooted. Nessarose followed behind her, flagging a taxi down and chased her in it, they stopped in front of her and literally dragged her into the taxi. They arrived at the hospital in no time.Sydney rushed out of the taxi and into the hospital. “Emergency, emergency,” she cried out, her voice hoarse from crying. “Calm down, what is your emergency.?“ A nice looking nurse asked and she almost slapped her, she had a dying child in her arms, was the nurse blind or stupid, before she could reply a doctor rushed to the scene. “Are you blind, get that child to the ICU” he ordered, the nurse flinched and took the child from her arms and half ran to the pediatric unit. Sydney followed behind her with doctor barking orders to the other nurses around. Nessarose came in just as the child had an IV drip plugged into her tiny arms. “She will be fine.“ She assured but Sydney didn't even hear her, she was staring at her daughter through the transparent circle on the door of the ICU, her eyes red as silent tears ran down her eyes. Please, please be safe. The doctor and nurses were moving tirelessly around the tiny figure on the bed and soon a soft sigh left his lips and he came outside. Sydney rushed to him. “How is my daughter?“ “She is stable for now. She has a high fever and is running temperature. She will be monitored for now.“ He informed and she released a breath she didn't know that she was holding. “Can I see her now?“ “Of course, but refrain from touching her for now, her body is prone to more infection from external sources right now” he informed and walked away. All this while, Nessarose, stood behind her, guilt flashing across her face. If only she had gotten home earlier. She didn't touch the baby because she was scared she'd hurt her so she opted to release Sydney first and then take them both to the hospital. The guilt in her system didn't let her go into the room with Sydney, she stood outside and watched. Sydney was led by the nurse from earlier to change from her wet clothes into some dry ones. They gave her a medical suit, for her to wear while going into the ICU. “Baby, thank you for staying for me. Thank you so much” she smiled through her tears, her heart aching at the various things plugged into her daughter, but she was happy, her child was okay, her lips were slowly gaining color. She badly wanted to hold her but she couldn't, atleast for now. For now she was content with her presence. ************** Next Morning. Sydney had just shut her eyes for two minutes out of exhaustion, when the monitor started beeping like crazy. She sprang to her feet, she clicked on the emergency button, it didn't seem to be working so she ran out of the unit still in the medical suit. “Doctor, doctor” was all she could say in panic. The commotion also woke Nessarose up. The doctor and nurses from yesterday came rushing there. Sydney was made to stay outside as they resumed their duties. Sydney watched on, with dread in her heart, she can't lose her. Nessarose held her shoulder, rubbing it softly to comfort and support her. She turned and hugged her, her tears and snot wetting ma'am Nessarose's clothes. “She is a strong girl, she will make it. She will fight it and win, believe in her and believe in God too” she said, hoping her words would bring comfort. Sydney disengaged from the hug and cleaned her face with hand but it was still in the suit so it was pointless. “I am going to pray for her” she said and didn't wait for a reply and left. Ma'am Nessarose watched her and turned back to watch the doctor do his thing. “Please Lord, take control “ she said. *********** Sydney came back in time to see the doctor leaving the unit, she hastened her steps and reached him. “How is my daughter” she asked, her eyes searching the doctor's face for his expression that might give her daughter's condition away. “I am sorry, we did all we could but we lost her. “ Those words dropped like lead and the hallway grew tense. She didn't quite get what he said, or maybe she refused to understand. “What do you mean, she was fine just now” she said, grabbing the doctor by his coat. “I am sorry, Miss” was all the doctor said and her hold on him loosened up as all her strength left her body. She dropped to the ground ever so slowly that it was painful to watch. Sydney's world seemed to come to a complete halt, her mind reeling and processing what she just heard. Her Fifi was dead, she wouldn't hear her soft giggles, her naughty crying or the cute smile she gave while sleeping. No, the doctor is lying, she held her just now, she was fine, she was recovering, she didn't believe it. “You are lying, bring back my Fiona. Bring her back” she screamed and the doctor shoke his head in sympathy. She grabbed the hem of his coat from where she was on the ground. “Please, bring her back, I can't live without her, please” She sobbed uncontrollably, her lips quivering with each word, Nessarose watched her, she too was beyond heartbroken. The doctor didn't know what to do, this was not the first time he witnessed such, but this was too much to handle. He bent to her level and held her shoulder, she looked at him as he spoke to her but she didn't even hear him. She suddenly stood up, almost bumping her head, she shrugged off his hands on her shoulder and rushed into the room. The sight of her still child felt like a cold shower in winter. “Fiona” was all she could say before darkness clouded her vision and she felt herself falling.