The Sweet Kind of Wrong

CHAPTER 21

JANE

I wake up and do my morning routine, it is a bit cold today so I decide to dress warm. I put on my grey matching sweaters with combat boots. I leave my face clean with no make-up on, also tying my hair into a neat bun. I search my drawer and find my birth control pills that Luke got for me, I go to the bathroom and to take them. After that I make my way downstairs and found everyone having breakfast, I join them.

"Good morning people." I greet.

"Morning Jane." They all respond. My phone bips, I check it, it's a text from Nathan reminding me of what we agreed on last night. s**t, I forgot. I steal a glance at Luke and catch him staring at me. I quickly look away and back to my phone, reading the message again. It reads...

Can't wait to see u today. Excited to spend sometime with u.?

I switch my phone off and start digging in. I don't miss the odd looks Luke is giving me and I'm trying so hard not to be affected by the way. But deep down, I feel bad, I feel bad for Luke, I hate doing this to him. At the same I don't want to hurt Nathan, he's so nice and amazing in his own way though there's no connection between us but he's really trying his best to be perfect for me. I hate the person I've become, I'm horrible, really horrible at times.

I pull up at the students' parking lot and exit my car, locking it, I head to my Spanish class. The class starts and we do nothing rather than making noise because our teacher is absent today. I put on my earphones and play some music, deciding to sleep in class. After an hour the bell rings notifying us to go to the next class. We have pop quiz for English today. I get there and we all get ready for the quiz. After the quiz, the bell rings, and we go for break. I head to the cafeteria and find Erika warming her food.

"Hey chica!" I hug her, she's always smiling, I love my best friend.

"Hey! Finally. Guess what I got when I got home yesterday." She excitedly says.

"New boyfriend?" I joke, she scoffs and I burst out laughing.

"Ew, no! Anything but that."

"Umm, new shoes? No, new phone? No...um...oh my gosh! Are you pregnant?" I hold my laugh and she hits my shoulder playfully.

"Jane..." She calls out, slightly irritated.

"Okay, I'm joking." I state. "You got a new car?" I guess, not really sure if I got it right.

She screams her lungs, making me jump. Did I guess right? "Yes, I got a new car, crazy." She coos, we both scream out, hugging. The other students look at us like we are losing it, not that we care. We are weird like that.

"I want to see it now." I say.

"Of course you will. I'll drop you at home today. We can leave yours here." She suggests.

"Oh I can't." I tell her. "I kind of made plans with Nathan after school." I add.

"It's okay. Then we can go for a drive tomorrow or over the weekend, you and I, no boys."

"Great idea." I warm my food then we both decided to go sit on the grass outside behind the cafeteria building.

On our way there, we pass Luke and his friends, discussing and laughing about something. We are about to pass the corner when I hear her voice greeting Luke. Hope. I immediately turn back to look at her. She hugs him, breaking free she leans in to kiss him. Luke is about to lean forward when he catches me staring at them then leans away from her.

My blood is boiling, my hands gripping the tray. Erika elbows me and I snap out of it, diverting my attention from Luke. We carry on walking to the spot we usually sit on when we decide to chill outside. I put my stuff down and sit down, joined by Erika who sits beside me.

"What was that?" She asks. "Were you jealous?" She continues.

"No I wasn't jealous. Luke can do whatever Luke wants, I don't care." I reply, taking a rather harsh bite of my sandwich. I'm a bad liar, I am jealous and I know, Erika knows it, Luke knows. I am jealous of Luke, I don't want to share him with anyone, that's how deeply I have fallen for him. So deep I can't even deny it. In love with my step brother. How complicated can this get? I don't even have control over my emotions. I'm just a prey to a predator, Luke being a predator. I'm screwed, like really screwed, I don't even know what to do anymore.

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" She asks. She knows me too well, I hate being transparent, I hate being vulnerable. Everyone can tell when I'm not okay or lying to hide my feelings.

"I don't know, Erika. I don't know. You're happy now!" I ask, feeling tears threatening to come out.

"Jane! How long will you keep this up? You're so in love with your step brother, it's getting out of control." She states.

"I know okay?" I whisper-yell at her. "You don't have to shout for everyone to hear."

"What about Nathan!"

"What about Nathan?" Nathan asks, standing behind us. I shut my eyes so hard to hold my tears back. There's no way I'm telling him we're talking about my fling with Luke. He'll never find out.

"Nothing." I reply, hoping we'll change the subject but Erika...

"Actually Jane has something to tell you. Something rather important." She tells him I give her a death stare, she returns the same look. Today is totally not my day.

"Really? What's that?" Nathan asks.

"Um...I just...I just wanted to tell you that I missed you." I lie, forcing a smile.

Smooth...real smooth, Janet. I push the thought to the back of my head and make sure I bury it deep down so that it never comes back again. Nathan will never find out about Luke and I, I will make sure of that. This is one secret I will take to the grave.

"Really?! I missed you too." He coos, kissing my cheek. I sigh in relief. Thank goodness. "So what are you two up to?"

"Rika has a new car." I immediately answer that.

"That was supposed to be a surprise, Jane." She laughs.

"Congratulations, Erika. Please treat this one with love and care. God knows how many accidents you've caused." Nathan jokes, we all laugh. We continue discussing about random stuff. I manage to forget a bit about Luke at least. Hope and her friends pass us by, laughing so hard. She doesn't even greet or anything, not that I want her to, I'm actually relieved. I am in no mood for her talking about Luke, my Luke by the way. The bell rings, we gather our belongings so that we can go to the Math class. Both of my boyfriends are in my class including Erika. I will literally die today. God help me.

We head to the class. I start at the washroom. Getting there, luckily there's no one, I wash my face and stare at my reflection in the mirror.

"What happened to you?" I mutter to myself, I don't know this person I'm looking at. No wonder I'm asking myself this question. I leave the washroom and make my way to the Math class. Entering I see Miss October has already started the lesson. I look around the class and find no space, the only space left is the one next to my Greek God in the corner of the class.

Great, exactly what I deserve.

I make my way to the corner while Miss October asks the class to answer the equation written on the board. I put my books down and when I'm about to sit, Luke speaks:

"Maybe Jane should solve the equation, ma'am."

I raise my head to look at him then look around the class to find the other students staring me like I'm some kind of ghost. I'm tempted to roll my eyes but I keep my cool. I am going to kill him.

"Well, Jane..." Miss October says.

My fingers curl into fists and I give Luke one hell of a death stare, the i***t smirks and gives me a wink.

"f**k you..." I whisper and he gives me a crooked smile. I make my way to the board and solve the equation. Luckily I remember it because Luke once showed me how to go about it. I head back to my desk and take my seat.

"Very good, Jane." Miss October coos and I smile, opening my books.

"Those lessons really paying off. Good job." Luke mutters and elbow him so hard, he groans lowly but that doesn't stop him because what he says next...

"By the way, you already did f**k me, Sugarplum and I love you for that." He murmers and I swear to God, I wet my panties almost immediately.

Key word: Almost.

I stare at him and find him smiling innocently, his eyes shimmering with stars. God, I'm going to die. He knows how to get me on my knees and he is good at it. I immediately look away, blushing hard, my cheeks burning. I palm my face and focus on the board, trying to listen to Miss October's lesson.

After school, I gather my stuff and leave the class immediately before Luke does anything. Luckily Miss October is still seated on her chair. I quickly make my way to my locker, I put my books inside the locker and lock it. When I turn I bump my forehead to a hard chest, causing me to stumble backwards.

"Are you mad at me?" Nice one Luke.

"No, I'm not."

"What you saw was nothing. I promise." He says.

"Now is not the time, Luke." I tell him.

"Nothing happened, Jane."

"Can we...?" I cut myself short when I hear Nathan calling my name.

"Jane!"

I turn to look at Nathan then back at Luke and find him looking like he is going to explode like a C4 explosive device in front of me. Oh God no! Not today.

"Oh wow! Now I get it." He raps.

"Can we do this later? Please." I literally beg him.

"Are you going to f**k him?" He asks under his breath, almost growling at me, my own breath hitches.

"Luke, please just go." I say.

"Are you going to f**k him? Yes or no?" He growls lowly, gritting his teeth, his fingers curl into fists. Now I'm scared to death.

"No I won't. He's just taking me to some dance centre, that's all." I lie. Lying is becoming my habit and I don't like it. But I have to calm him down.

"I hope so, for your sake." He replies sternly.

I don't know how I got myself in this situation but I have to get out of it even though I have no idea how. But I'll do whatever I can to fix it.

"Are you ready?" Nathan asks, wrapping his arm around my waist. I nod meekly.

"Well, let me not keep you from your dance center trip." Luke says, forcing a smile. The thought of me going somewhere with Nathan drives him crazy.

"Dance? I'm taking her somewhere special. She's special, you know." Nathan blurts out, I want to disappear.

Luke turns to me, his forced smile fading. The look he gives screams 'I am going to kill you.' Then he turns to Nathan. "Yes she is special, I know. She's my sis." He says referring to what Nathan said. "You guys have fun." With that he walks away. I exhale a long breath I haven't noticed I was holding. He is going to murder me, I know it.

"Let's go." Nathan takes my hand into his, lacing our fingers together, we leave, heading to the students parking lot. We get in his car and he drives off. My mind is not here with him, I may be here physically but emotionally and mentally, I'm with Luke, my heart aches for him, I want him next to me but I can't risk it especially not with Nathan. I'm really stuck between two guys and I have no idea what to do at this stage. Erika was right, this thing has gotten out of control. I will need a miracle to get out of this situation. Get over yourself, Jane.

I decide to play some music in Nathan just so it doesn't seem awkward. Worst of all, I play Heaven by Julia Michaels. Nathan gives me a weird look.

Don't ask.

* * *

LUKE

I will kill her today along with that Nathan. I will kill both of them. I'm pacing up and down my room, angry and not knowing what to do. She lied to me, she f*****g lied to me. Why? I love her, that's obvious, she knows it. I leave my room, slamming the door and heading downstairs then to the kitchen. I find Monica cooking. I don't even greet, I pour myself a glass of water and down it on one go. Monica stares at me, wondering what's wrong.

"Is it safe to ask?" She asks and I shake my head no, I am not in the need to talk about this. And it's not like I can talk to anyone about me and Jane, no one knows and we practically related so it would be a disaster, a great disaster.

"Is it Jane?" My eyes automatically widened, I didn't expect that question. "Are you upset because of her?" She continues.

There is no way she knows about us, we have been careful.

"What are you talking about?" I just need to know.

"I was here before you, Luke. I'm not stupid. At first I thought I was seeing things but as time passed, I saw the way you looked at her. I know about you and Jane, Luke." She tells me.

"So we've been careless this whole time?" I blurt out.

"Not really. But how could you do this? She's your step sister, Luke."

"I know, but believe me it's more complicated than that." I say, remembering how we met. Why did we have to be siblings.

"Enlighten me then."

"We met at school before we even knew we were going to be the stupid family." I continue telling her about how I convinced her to be my girlfriend, how after a few days of being official we found out that our parents were engaged at that dinner. I wasn't expecting to see her that day but then life gives you lemons and builds you coffins at the same time. It's just a roller-coaster.

"Wow!" She murmers.

"Now you know."

"What are you going to do now?" She asks.

"I don't want to lose her as my girlfriend. She is trying to fight it, she's been trying to stay away from me the day we found out. Somehow I always find my way back to her and she fights until she can't anymore. That's how much of a mess we both are."

"Do you love her?"

"As absurd as it sounds, I do, very much." I admit.

"And she feels the same?"

Oh yes.

"I think she does, she's just scared to admit it." I mutter. "You knew all along and you never told anyone."

"I wanted to get my facts straight and it's not my place to intervene. Your parents will have to find out on their own. So you can relax, I'm not going to tell on you."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't stop you from falling in love, boy."

"She's my sister and she has a boyfriend."

"Does she love him?"

"I don't know but I don't think she does. There's no spark between them." I say.

"How do you know?"

"I know Jane. She's free when around me, like herself, she's free but with Nathan, she forces things to get to me. So no, she doesn't love him."

"Well...I won't stand in your way and if anyone objects, tell them to go to hell and hang themselves." I laugh at that, I love talking to her, she understands me. "And don't worry, she'll come back for you."

"How do you know that?"

"I just know. She'd be a fool not to. And since she came in your life, I don't see your countless girlfriends around here especially that Hope." She states. No one in my circle likes Hope, my friends, Monica, especially Jane, she hates her guts.

"Thanks mama."

"Anytime, my boy." She kisses my forehead, yep that's Monica for you, always treating me like a child.

I leave the kitchen and go back upstairs, making my way to my bedroom. I open my door and close it behind me. I feel much better after talking to Monica. I still can't believe she knows about us. She's known for a while now. How stupid is that? My door opens and enters Jane, she takes small steps towards me and stop midway.

"I assume you're mad at me." She starts. I was mad until I talked to Monica, I'm not even sure I'm mad anymore but I can't shake the jealous off, it's eating me up and that's the only reason I ask:

"Did he bring you back?" I don't want to know the answer, I'm sure about that.

"Erika brought me back. And if you're wondering what happened, nothing happened." She mutters

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Luke listen."

"Do you love him?"

"I- Do we have to talk about that right now?"

"I have to know, Jane.

"Well there's nothing to know. Can we..." She exhales. "I...I don't know what to do, Luke. I don't like being in this situation..."

"If you don't like being in this situation, get out of it." I say in a stern tone.

"It's not that easy, Luke. It's easy for you to just tell me that but you're not the one in this position. I'm trying so hard to make everyone happy, I care so much about others but myself. I'm trying so hard to decipher the significance of everything and everyone in my life but it's all to no success..."

"Jane."

"What I got myself into isn't something that's feasible, it's difficult, it's confusing and...I can't even begin to understand whom I've become any..."

Having no choice, I head towards her, raising my hands to cup her face and locks my lips on hers, kissing her hard and deeply. She immediately reciprocates, gripping the collar of my shirt. We both let our tongues, invade our mouths, fighting each other to gain control and dominance. After a while I pull back, staring into her eyes. She throws her arms around me and I hug her back tightly to assure her that I'm with her, no matter.

"I got you okay?" I tell her, planting a kiss on her shoulder, she nods.

"Don't let go." She murmers.

"I won't." I reply. "You want to watch a movie with me?"

"You don't like movies, Luke." She breaks.

"How do you know that?"

"I know that because I know you." She admits.

"You do?" She nods. "Mention one thing you know about me."

"Small or big things?"

"Either. Okay, what's my favorite color?"

"Your favourite colour is grey."

"Okay you got me." We laugh. "I don't like movies but I'll watch one today with you." She grins.

"Okay." She grins, bringing her lips on mine. "You're the best." She says.

"You deserve only the best." I mutter against her lips and kiss her again.