I Don’t Want To Be A Wife!

Confessing His Feelings

Life for Lucas had always been easy, he was born wealthy, he had loving parents, that even though they were busy, tried their best to be good parents, he had an adorable little sister who he loved dearly and a brother who he would kill for, they were a perfect family, until that night when everything changed, he changed, his sisters changed, his brother changed and their life changed forever, because of one unknown person who wanted to see them dead; he was still trying to find that person and he was blaming them for everything that happened this past month.

   (Take a shot every time you read life and tell me if you get alcoholic poisoning)

  After that night, he learned to appreciate what he had, his sister and his brother who almost died, he realized how important they truly were for him and how much he would suffer if he lost one of them, he was scared of being alone because he didn't have anyone else, he stayed in the same bubble for years and never attempted to leave it. He had always thought that his life was complete with the two of them, but maybe there was more than just his siblings and making his parents dream a reality; for the first time in his entire life, he wanted friends, people in his life that he could talk to, go out with, and just live his life, as a 19-year-old would, like four days ago; it was the first time he went somewhere, to a club, and got drunk, it wasn't for a good reason but he had fun and was able to get his frustration out.

  And in the three days, he spent alone, he got to thinking about what his life was going to be from now on, that he wouldn't have Kin by his side at all times, because he experienced that in those three days and it was lonely and sad, and made him think about what Kin said about wanting a life, he never thought about the path of his life that deeply but he started doing that after that and he came to the decision yesterday to live and he will start doing that by confessing and stop hiding the fact that he liked a boy and his brother at that, but let's ignore that for a moment and focus on the boy part.

  Lucas never questioned his sexuality, for him, it was expected to fall for a girl and start a family with her, even though he never had a crush on a girl before, maybe because half of them were after his money, he treated a quarter of them like Layla, little sisters and the other quarter were just girls he wasn't interested in, he never looked too deep into that or the fact that he would catch himself staring at guys who looked similar to Kin from time to time.

  But now he does and he needed him to know, to know what to do with these feelings he had.

"How does it affect me in any way?" Kin asked a bit confused and stepped away from Lucas.

  "Because you are the one I like." Lucas admitted and he could sense that this conversation was turning sour, especially by looking at Kin's disturbed face.

  "You are joking, right? Of course, you are, you don't mean that." Kin started laughing but when Lucas wasn't doing the same, he stopped and just stared at him.

  "I did mean it, I like you in a lover kind of way." Lucas added and Kin sat down to process what was happening.

‘Was that dream a sign? If that so, I should have run away as soon as I woke up, no, no, Lin, no my name is Kin, you are an adult and running away is not the right thing to do……but it’s easier than to face what we what was happening, no! That wasn’t the answer.’ Kin took a deep breath and looked at Lucas, to see him staring at him with passion and love in his eyes, which disturbed him in a way, he couldn’t describe other than being scared to live through.

  "You are scaring me, stop this." Kin said in a desperate voice, still pretending that all of this was a mere joke but it wasn't, he had to face that Lucas was telling the truth but he couldn’t, his morals didn’t let him.

  "Why? You said that you will support me." Lucas approached Kin and sat in front of him, on the ground, and tried to hold his hands but Kin pulled them away and got up.

  "Yeah, when it doesn't involve me, Lucas, this can't be right, there must be a mistake." Kin wasn't willing to believe what was going on, Lucas didn't say that, he was having another dream, that was it, yeah. He tried to pinch himself and even hit his leg against a wooden chair, but he could only feel pain and Lucas's worried voice, asking him what was he doing.

  Kin didn't want to believe that Lucas liked him because that would make him hate Lucas, he couldn't stay with a person who liked their brother, be it adopted or not, his morals just couldn't let him do that, it was wrong and he didn't care that they were both guys or didn't have the same parents, what mattered was that Lucas fell for someone who he grew up with as a sibling, how, just how?

  "I know it's hard to accept but I can't help it, I realized I never saw you as a brother but a person who loved me and cared for me, and I like that and so I grew to like you too. I only knew about this myself less than a week ago and found it hard to accept but I can't control my feelings no matter how much I try, I was planning on keeping this secret for longer, I couldn't, I am sorry." Lucas said and stared at Kin for a response, Kin was in the living room, with closed eyes, his face facing the ceiling, he looked exhausted and worried, he hated seeing him like this and wished he never brought it up but it was no time for regret now, he could only try to get friends to discuss these things with next time.

  "I...I don't know, I never expected my brother to confess to me, it's a lot to take in." The only thing that was keeping Kin together was that he wasn't the original Kin and those feelings weren't really for him, he needed to talk about this to the original Kin, or else he was going to lose his mind.

It was never Lucas intention to confess at the moment he did but because he did, his mind cleared and he decided that it was now or never; he couldn’t take back his words or play it as a joke because it would make things harder on him in the future, the best option to do was to go through it and hope for the best; which wasn’t working that well but he would keep trying until it would.