Blackheath

Ever had your entire family reject you ? That's with me , I am Lia Blackheath. A coloured from South Africa.I am both brown and arab . My dad is arab and my mom is brown . Growing up I had it tough , I was born and raised in the cape flats so I pretty much witnessed gang fights , robberies , murders , suicides, drug dealings , fights , r**e , violence . All sorts of crimes . Mostly unimaginable crimes and stuff I wouldn't wish on my worst nemesis. I had it extra tough . As young as 7,I was already stealing and inciting violence upon other people . My parents did not entertain crime because of their morals and religion. My parents are Muslims so they were part of the people in the cape flats who did not do crime . So how did I do crime if my birth parents did not do crime ? And I was broken , I was broken and shattered . Why didn't I follow my religion's morals ? I didn't believe in God as young as 7 . Why was I broken and shattered ? The love a child wanted and needed just wasn't there . I have a unidentical twin sister " Cassidy Maryam Davids " , but you must be wondering why we don't have the same surname although we're twins . It's not because of marriage it's because I changed my name and surname , before changing it , I was " Cassie Malika Davids " . Cassidy just had to be the favorite twin with everything . Everything this that was Cassidy . Cassidy was the first to do everything. Cassidy was the more beautiful twin and smartest twin . While Cassidy lived happy wonderful amazing life , I was always compared to Cassidy . " Cassie why can't you just be like your sister Cassidy " " Cassie why.... " " Cassie you're.... " and whatever. I was just always compared to Cassidy. Cassidy indeed was the better twin , Cassidy was always top ten in school . The only time people talked to me was to ask about Cassidy or tell me that they like Cassidy. Cassidy was happy , my entire family was happy, everyone was happy while I was suffering from the worst kind of depression , anorexia , self-esteem problem and anxiety . Every single day I had suicidal thoughts trying to keep myself alive . Everyday I had a new scar on my wrist . When I told my parents that I am suffering mentally, what did they do ? They compared me to how happy Cassidy was and told me that it's just a " phase " I will get over and that by tomorrow I would be happy. Nobody noticed that I was mentally and physically suffering badly . Growing up I was extremely obese so I was a target for bullies and a target for my family to body shame Everyday. I was called a pig , when people were eating I had to run laps to get to eat , when I fell , people fell too and said that my falling caused an earthquake. That's what lead to me starving myself from 10 . I was always called ugly and compared to Cassidys beauty by my own family and people I came across with . Even my parents couldn't hold it in , they also bodyshamed me and called me ugly . They were just like the rest comparing me to Cassidy. Cassidy was the only person who loved me out of all people but I am sorry but I couldn't love her back . She was the cause of my me suffering mentally. Cassidy saw me suffer mentally and physically while others couldn't see me suffer . Cassidy tried to help me out of anxiety , depression and anorexia but I always saw that as her boasting about being the perfect daughter and girl so I fell more into depression , anxiety and anorexia. Cassidy tried to help me see the beauty in myself but then again I saw it as Cassidy boasting about how beautiful and perfect she was . Cassidy tried helping me with my school work but then I saw it as Cassidy boasting about being extremely smart and always being on the top ten . When Cassidy defended me from my parents , family and people around me . I managed to see how she loved boasting. When Cassidy told my parents that I was suffering mentally, ofcourse my parents told Cassidy that it was just a " phase " . It showed how Cassidy loved to remind me that my parents will never believe me. Cassidy always made dua and prayed for me but I saw that as Cassidy teasing me for suffering from depression, anorexia and anxiety so that made me not be religious as I thought that God was never there for me . God wasn't there for me, he decided to give me the toughest life because I am trash itself and will always be trash. Cassidy hid all my sharpeners and knives . I saw that Cassidy didn't want me to be as Beautiful as her so I hated Cassidy more . Cassidy is so arrogant and petty. Cassidy wants to be the best at everything and leave me with nothing whilst she had it all . Cassidy slept in a very clean room beautiful spacious room and mom would clean it for her and would give Cassidy the money she needs to make her room beautiful. While the attic was my room , grey,dull and lifeless , always dirty and had piles and piles of rubbish . My bed was old and woven and stank like a 5year old dead body . Cassidy offered to share a room with me but I saw that as Cassidy wanting me to wake up every damn day and get reminded on how perfect she is . _________ My life of crime and violence started when I was 7 . On that very day I started , I was sat at the ground floor by the old cranky steps at the apartment building I lived in crying away after getting bodyshamed by my family as always and at the far distance I saw a scary man holding a pregnant lady at gun point threatening everyone around him to give him all valuable items and money . Everyone was so scared that they gave the man and the men who were with him valuable items and money. Someone called the police and they eventually came but the police supported the scary man and the men with him in robbing the people , the people gave the scary man and men their valuable items and money then the pregnant lady took out a folded blanket from her stomach and threw it on the ground then the scary man and men including the police were laughing while packing the valuables into a black BMW and drove away into the distance with the lady who faked her pregnancy to rob those all people . It was all a act while using people's heavy act of compassion to let a unborn baby and a mother survive . All those people got scammed. I was so fascinated on how the scary man and his men robbed those people so easily with just a few words and used the people's compassion to get what they wanted. I later figured that they had bribed the police to always get away with stuff and was part of the most notorious gang in the cape flats I wanted to be apart of that gang too . The life of crime easily fascinated me and I wanted to be apart of it . From that moment on , I would always pickpocket people around me as practice , I was first always noticed and always hit by my mom and dad after they found out what I did and lectured . Cassidy tried to make me stop too but who was she to make me stop doing what I finally loved and enjoyed doing. Each time I pickpocketed people I got better , whithin three months of practice and hard work , I eventually got good at pickpocketing and was so unnoticeable when I pickpocketed people and made thousands a week by just pickpocketing. It was a piece of cake. I started moving on to more harder crimes such as robbery . I started robbing homes at night . My room was in the attic so it was easy to go unnoticed by my parents whilst I came out the house as there was a huge aluminum window in the attic which I could fit through . I would leave the house wearing all black and my face masked by my mom's hijab that covered her entire face which I stole from her and she did not notice because she had many of them . I snuck out with a huge black plastic bag and would go around the cape flats robbing shacks and homes then pawning items during the daylight. It went on for months with each day I robbed a different home . Nobody noticed that a fat small 7 year old like me can steal from homes and people. By the end of the year , I had made millions. All the money and profit I made , I hid in a huge safe I had stolen from a Porsche neighborhood and disguised as a table since it was built like a old table. When mom and dad asked me where I got the " table " from , I told them that my grandmother had gifted it to me and they obviously believed it and let me keep the table . My grandmother was old and had dementia so it was easy for me to manipulate her into saying that she gifted me the table when my parents thanked her for giving me the table . Simple stuff , the code I reinstalled on the safe after stealing it was " 17286 " and just had to put in the code on a small locket disguised as a decoration . Cracking the safe was easy stuff though , I just had to grab the owners diary and page through it , find the code put it in then reinstall my very own code and run away with the safe . It's mine now. My crimes got bigger and more devious as the years passed . My family didn't even notice that I had fallen into the life of crime . By 10 I knew how to h****k a car and all sorts of crimes. Nobody knew that it was me behind these crimes . I had now began bullying the kids in school and got introuble at school everyday and got punished by mom and dad everyday but I was numb , I didn't feel their punishments and I continued to bully and get myself introuble. I was the most notorious child in school and the most talked about anonymous criminal in cape Town , I didn't only rob the Cape Flats but also the whole cape town. As young as 10 , I drug dealed around Cape Town but while wearing my mom's hijab and black clothing . But good days don't last for long , One day I tried to rob the most notorious gang's mansion but then got caught , how foolish I was . While carrying their huge TV and sneaking out the mansion. I felt a sharp pain beside my head and the world slowly went completely blank . Before blacking out completely, I saw what seemed to be a tall black man wearing all black standing with his arms crossed infront of me and a few other men wearing all black who were carrying the TV I had tried to steal earlier and putting it back into its original position. Was this it ? My 10 year old thought to herself as her world went completely blank . I never really feard death so I just let peace take me in and let out my last breath then the world went blank and the muffling voices started to fade slowly. I heard the last muffling voice as I slowly succumbed to the world's darkness. I felt at peace and let the darkness take me in but then my head was still so sore , I mean I deserved a painful death but why did my head still hurt after death ? . The pain quickly went away after I thought of it. Yea I didn't die , I thought that I am going to die after getting knocked out by a member of the notorious gang .