Sessions

The Dr is in "All black baby!"              That's what I was thinking looking at the ceiling deciding what to wear. Giggling softly I slowly slid out of bed. I try to leave it all in the office but something about Albinas words had a branding effect on my mind. I couldn't shake that s**t. All BLACK baby, that's what I was going to wear. Black Jimmy Choo stilettos black Gucci slacks and a black silk shirt that I loved. It came from an ex that I might have pretended to throw away in front of said ex. Call it setting boundaries but this isn't a session and dammit I'm the therapist not you.  Today was going to be intense; all of my fun clients I save for the end of the week. Like Albina and her quotes she's my Friday. Her daughter tho she's my Wednesday, not as fun. But even she was easier than Myles my Monday. And today is Monday. "Moody Monday!" My assistant Angela pipped unnervingly,as I walked past her and Myles in the waiting room. I didn't respond. She was referring to my lack of greeting coming in but I would have to check her on that later. I was a tad late and Myles gets antsy when I make him wait.  "The Dr is in." Angela sweetly says to him, as if I didn't literally walk past the man! She is just that way though.      Stepping  into my office I grab his case file and get reacquainted with his progress and current medication;as I make an espresso on the device in my office; a very overpriced gift, from my newest client. Whom I have not met or seen; or spoken too or even know his name. I was grateful for the overpriced gift nonetheless.        We can talk about SIR later... right now, is Myles' time. His wife pays out of pocket for his sessions; and I'm not exactly sliding scale pricing if you know what I mean.  "Send him in." I chirp Angela on the intercom function of my phone. "The Dr. will see you now." Angela politely nods to Myles. "Thank you Angie." He says quickly and moves towards the door to my office. She winks at him for reassurance. His tightly clenched shoulders relax just a tiny bit as the door flies open.         "Oh and good morning" I attempt to sound as pleasant as possible. Regretting my cold demeanor coming in. It may have prevented the thoughtless comment. Hopefully it will smooth it over that I was so rude to her.                 She's a sweet girl who interned my first and busiest year. I was going to let her go after 3 months but she wouldn't hear of it. She knew it was only because I couldn't afford to pay her. She stuck in there with me anyway tho. The only person more proud that I could pay her that first real payroll check than little old me was Angela herself. She truly believed in me and was loyal and dedicated. I paid her well for her patience. I don't know where my practice would be without her.  I was still going to chew her out about that moody Monday s**t tho. If anyone knows how sensitive Myles  AND his anxiety are it was Angela. He would forgive her much faster than I would. That was just his way, but it could still set him back and she needed to be more mindful and less comfortable. That was just my way. "Good morning!" She sang way too energetically for a moody Monday morning but at least my olive branch was working she seemed on cloud nine. Myles on the other hand was a wreck. He was already at the door when I went to open it as Angela's voice sang happily through my intercom "Myles you don't look well." I said showing my true emotions for the first time today or maybe even this week. Myles was a no bullshit type of person. He responded much better to vulnerability; than my no frills direct business approach. My vulnerability is what finally got the first breakthrough. I don't love it but for Myles it works.  He sat down. I'm fine he forced out before the tears started to flow down his cheeks.