Vows of Silence

9

I fell asleep after a little while which I thought was odd because I had already slept for a few hours. I didn't know you could be tired from being tired. This time when I woke up again, the room was dark. The light was on from where I think was the bathroom. I've never used a bathroom before. I had an old bucket and was told to dump everything in a hole just outside the basement. It was fine because I barely used it. I can see why they wouldn't waste a bathroom on me. I've cleaned one before though. Plenty of times. The sounds the toilet made when flushing always scared me. I keep thinking I'm going to get sucked into it and be lost forever. I know it;s not possible because I've seen people come and go from the room and never and I mean never has anyone disappeared in the downstairs bathroom. I know because I've watched them come and go from a spot in the kitchen when everyone's eating.

Except right, I really need to pee. I sat up in the bed and swung my legs over the edge. There were tubes in my hand that connected to a plastic bag with water inside of it. The bag was hanging from a hook on a long shiny pole. I grabbed the pole and it moved! I moved it around once I saw that it had wheels and wasn't connected to anything except me. I slid off the bed and my bare feet touched the floor. It was like stepping onto ice. I stood up slowly. My legs were shaking. I held onto the side of the bed and grabbed the shiny pole with the bag water. I could kind of move if I walked slow. My wolf watched me from the background of my mind. I know she felt the same things that I felt. I guess she wanted to see if I could handle it. I finally made it to the bathroom and closed the door.

The walls were a pinkish kind of color. Everything else except for the mirror was white. A white sink that was shaped like a square. A white toilet was in the corner against the wall. The floor was covered in white squares. That was it. I did what I had to do and then I washed my hands. I unlocked the door and opened before I flushed the toilet and walked out as fast as I could.

The room was brighter now. The other door was open. I stood up straight trying to see if I could smell who was in here. It was the girl from breakfast. I knew because I could see her. I wasn't fully able to smell past the cleaner smell. In her hand was green tray with a roll of bread and some soup in a bowl. I smiled at her. I was happy for the food. She didn't smile back. Her face turned sour.

''Don't get used to it. This is more than you deserve. They should have just let you die. No one would care anyway.'' She dropped the tray onto a small table by the bed and some of the soup spilled over the sides of the bowl as it moved around. I flinched when she shut the door. I know that she's right. Anybody else could take my place in this pack. No body wants it but it's something anyone can do. They can always find some other kid that's lost in the woods and raise to them to cook and clean and not talk back. Maybe the new kid wouldn't be beat as much. I sat back on the bed and pulled the small table closer to me. It was stuck to the bed so it made it easier to eat. I picked up the bowl and started drinking it. There was chicken! Actual pieces of chicken. I chewed my first bites of the warmed chicken bits. This was the best thing in the world! I dont think anything can actually taste better. It's not possible. This the stuff they've been eating and spitting out and mashing into a paste onto the table so that I can't eat it? How are they not eating? I scarfed down the rest of the soup and made sure I left the small pieces of chicken for last. I wanted to remember how chicken taste in case I never get to eat it again. I ate them one by one until there wasn't a drop or a crumb left. I licked the bowl trying to get all the taste of the chicken out until all I could taste was the plate.

Now that I had a taste of food, I was hungry. I drank more cups of water but nothing seemed to curb my stomach. I probably won't get anymore food. I wonder what time it is? I forgot to ask earlier. There was a clock above the door but it was a clock with little sticks that moved and pointed at numbers. I've seen people look at the clock and yell out the time but I never understood how they did that. I like the ones that tell you what numbers it is. There's not even a window in here so I don't know if the sun is out yet. I was just starting to fall back asleep when the door clicked. I thought it was the girl again so I kept my eyes closed because I didn't want to see her. I thought it was her until I took a breath. I'd know that smell anywhere. My wolf lifted her head as she breathed in the same thing I did. I watched her stand up and come stand next to me. She wanted to open my eyes but I was so tired that it was actually hard to lift to eyelids. I heard Alpha Damian's footsteps stop as I tried to open my eyes. My wolf started pacing.

''I'm sorry. They're too heavy. I can't wake up.'' I think the chicken made me sleepy. I see them all eat from these giant chickens I help Rebecca make once a year and after everyone eats, they falls asleep. That's got to be it. There's always leftovers from those chickens but I'm not allowed to eat those. Or the food from the day everyone opens presents from each other. A few minutes after I stopped moving, Alpha Damian walked closer. His steps were quiter this time. Maybe he was coming to see if I'm ready to get back to work. I've been taking an extra long break. I think this is the longest I've gone without working. I could ask him what time it is! But what if he doesn't want me to know he's here. That's a stupid thought. Why wouldn't he want me to know he's here? I could still smell the chicken in the air. I think I'm so hungry it's like I could taste the chicken if I start licking the air. My nose followed the smell. I wasn't crazy, the smell was stronger. It the was the only thing I could focus on. My wolf tried to keep smelling the alpha's scent but the chicken was too strong. We were both following the smell that had to be coming from somewhere in the room.

"Maybe, they served chicken for dinner today? I don't know if they had dinner yet but maybe that's it.'' I tried explaing to my wolf. She shook her head and locked eyes with me. It's in the room. So that's what it's like to talk to your wolf. It's in the room? My eyes snapped themselves open as I looked around. My eyes landed on a wad of napkins the alpha held in his hands. It has to be there. I was almost drooling. Alpha Damian was sitting in the dark green chair in the corner of the room.

''We had chicken for dinner. I saved a piece for you. I don't know if you ate yet.'' He was nervous. I could see it all over him. A nervous alpha was something I never thought I would see. Maybe I scared him when I woke up. He was breathing a bit faster. I watched his chest go up and down through his shirt. So it was a piece of chicken. For me? He saved me a piece? I did eat. I shouldn't lie.

''I ate some soup.'' I said. It was the truth. Plus the bowl was still here.

''Are you still hungry?'' He asked me. I nodded. He stood up and walked closer to the bed. He held out the wad of napkins and I grabbed it. My fingers tingled as they touched his. They tingled like when I used to burn myself in the kitchen helping Rebecca cook. I put the napkins in the soup bowl and peeled them back. There was a piece of chicken that filled the whole bowl! I picked up and started biting into it. It was still warm. I finished it in a few bites and rubbed my hands with the clean parts of the napkin. I forgot that Alpha Damian was here until I heard his voice again. He tried blinking away his wide eyes and tucked his hands behind him. Maybe he thought I'd bite them if they still smelled like chicken. The thought made me giggle while licked the chicken juices from my fingers.

''How are you feeling?''