The Rockstar and The Balladeer: An MM Rockstar CEO Romance

SHAUN Glancing briefly at my watch, the bar has just opened two hours ago but my set starts at ten tonight. Which means I have time to coax the elderly cook to feed my ravenous stomach. Walking into the bar, the faint strumming of an acoustic guitar filled the air. Someone was tuning an instrument. An unfamiliar face was seated on the stage, elegantly adorned in designer attire, with a serious expression on his face and slightly pouting lips. "Hey, Plug!" I greeted the owner's boyfriend, who was also the bartender. "Shaun! You're early! Planning to charm Edi again for some food?" Plug smiled knowingly. "You know it, bro! Who's that?" I gestured towards the unfamiliar face. "That's River! Remember Jag mentioned wanting someone for early evening music before your gig? He came in yesterday, and Jag instantly loved him. He'll be performing on the same days as you, every eight in the evening," Plug explained. "Is he in college?" I wondered aloud, unaware I'd spoken my thoughts. "He's the same age as you are. From what I gathered when I offered him a drink to ease his nerves, he just returned from the US," Plug gossiped. Nodding absentmindedly, I checked the time and it's still seven. I'll be back in time for his set. I wanted to see what he was capable of, if Jag instantly loved him knowing how picky he was, this boy must have the talent. But it could also be that pretty face, can’t ignore the fact that Jag has a weakness for the beautiful ones. Look at Plug! A little devil in my head whispered "So do you, Shaun." I muttered to myself as I walked into the kitchen. Coming back, I walked to the bar to the sound of a very sultry voice introducing himself. His local dialect is fluent but his accent betrays the length of time he had not used them. "Hey everybody! I'm River and I'll be with you tonight for the next two hours. I hope I don't bore you with my songs and If ever it does, I'm respectfully requesting for you to stare at my face instead and your boredom will surely be gone in an instant!" The singer smiles so seductively as his crescent moon-shaped eyes slowly move across the crowd. Plug had a huge smile on his face. He whispered, "You know off stage, River is actually very quiet and almost brooding. I'm surprised. That looks like a very different person." Shrugging at Plug's comment. Certainly understanding that most times our persona on stage will be quite different from us in real life. As for me, it feels so extraordinary when I'm standing on stage and the crowd starts hyping. It's just a different feeling, the blood starts pumping just a little bit faster than usual and the crowd merges into a blur of cheering individuals. The initial performance was a rendition of an English acoustic song. It was simple, with no frills, just a charming face accompanied by a guitar, yet observing the early audience, they were all fixated, enthralled by the boy. I found myself similarly captivated. Within the first few lines, I realized I was completely drawn in. The depth in his voice is incredibly soul-stirring, possessing a husky quality that draws you in completely. Every word he sings resonates deeply as if he has experienced every bit of the emotion he expresses in his songs. There's a rawness to his emotion that accompanies each note, reaching into your core. He commands the stage as if he owns it entirely. Despite being slightly shorter than me, if my assessment is accurate, his stage presence is absolutely larger than life. "Shaun?" Plug calls for my attention repeatedly, finally drawing me back from my captivation by the singer. Glancing at Plug, who wears a knowing smile, I replied, "What?" "I asked if you've heard from Russ lately. He's been absent, and I might need another hand if he doesn't show up soon," Plug grumbles. Russ hasn't been to work in over three days. "Nope, sorry. If he keeps this up, it might be time for a replacement," I replied before refocusing on the singer. Before long, my bandmates had arrived and cheerful greetings had ensued. "Wow! Who's the hottie?" Gray, the drummer of our band who's also Bi like I am exclaimed. My ears immediately pricked at the statement. As Plug explained all over again who River was, I saw him wrapping up his set. "Thank you all for listening to me, though I wonder if you all heard me or were just staring at my face as I told you to," Again smirking, the crowd cheered and clapped for him. What a very charming boy. "The last song that I am singing tonight is an original. I'm sure all of you had once had a first love. This goes to all those who remember what it was like... the title of this song is "The Eclipse," and he starts to strum. Teary-eyed as he sang from the heart. A resounding applause marked the end of River's set as he murmured in that soft, sensual voice, "Thank you and goodnight". He was packing up his guitar when the band members approached, of course, Gray led the way. "Hi! You're River right?! Plug told us your name. We're playing after you tonight, I'm Gray - I play the drums" Gray smiling brightly. River's eyes though were now guarded, so different from the one on stage. Still, he smiles and shakes Gray's hand. "This is Charles the bassist, that's Kim on keyboards and this is Shaun, the main vocalist and lead guitarist." As Gray had gestured to each one, River had smiled politely and appeared friendly. But when his eyes moved over to me, a look of familiarity appeared briefly and then the shutters closed again. He just nodded at me politely and went back to finishing up cleaning after his set. Charles had invited River to stay to listen and the pretty boy smiled and confirmed he'll stay awhile but might not stay until the end. Finally, he moved gracefully towards the bar, in a calm, almost cat-like manner. "Shaun! This is the first time I saw someone giving our main man a cold shoulder, your charm's not working on the pretty boy," Kim was laughing, pointing out River's uncharacteristically cold demeanor towards me. Yeah, that was weird but I shrugged, picking up my guitars to prepare for our set. My bandmates already know that I've been signed as a solo artist under The Eclipse Records. I mused, remembering that River's song was titled the same. They were happy for me. Having been scouted alone, explaining they already have a team for me, my band had been understanding. Putting an unlit cigarette in my mouth had become a routine as I readied myself to sing, and tonight was no exception. The lively crowd began flooding in as River's set reached its second half, filling the bar with an electrifying atmosphere. Over the years of performing here, I've managed to cultivate a modest following of fans. Glancing over at River, who occupied the same seat I had occupied a while ago, it appeared he held a scotch on the rocks in his hand while checking his phone for messages. Despite the distance between us, while I'm on stage, my attention seems solely fixated on him. Normally, I'd be too hyped to concentrate on any single individual, causing the crowd to blur into a sea of faces. Yet, why does this boy make me intensely focus on him when he has no interest in me? In frustration, I inadvertently strummed the guitar too forcefully, prompting the entire bar to fall silent. Apologizing through the mic, I excused my unusual behavior with a feeble "my hand slipped," hoping my smile could charm enough to pardon the mishap. The unsettling part was when, at the abrupt sound, River lifted his captivating crescent moon-shaped eyes, locking into a deep gaze with mine. His eyes seemed infinite, and I felt an inexplicable urge to dive into them if given the opportunity. However, River blinked, breaking the spell. He then fixed his gaze on the crystal-clear ice in his glass, downing its contents in one gulp before slamming it down. Why does this boy appear to hold animosity towards me? Did our brief eye contact drive him to drink excessively? Kim interrupts my thoughts and informs me they're ready to begin. Snapping out of my reverie, I remove the cigarette from my lips and tuck it into my leather jacket's pocket. With a vibrant welcome, I address the eager crowd. "Tonight's bracelet night, as always. Is everyone sporting one? Remember to only wear the colors that represent your current love life status. If you are in a relationship don’t wear the green color" I grin mischievously. Upon the enthusiastic responses, I continue, "Excellent! I hope by the end of our performance, those of you wearing the green bands will have found someone to spend the night with." A bold girl shouts, "And what about you, Shaun? When will you ditch the white band? We're ready to make a move!" Chuckling confidently into the mic, I reply, "Let's see, maybe after tonight's set, someone will persuade me that green is, indeed, the better choice for me. In the meantime, direct your attention to our charming drummer, who'd gladly accept all your applications!" This provokes a mixture of groans and laughter from the audience as I strum the opening notes of our first song. AUGUST Finishing the scotch on my hand in one go as I swallowed the bitter taste of regret in my mouth. After I broke eye contact with the rockstar wanna-be whose eyes found mine despite my efforts to not look his way directly. When I saw him walk in as I was tuning my guitar I thought I was seeing a ghost. Someone I hadn't seen for five long years. But when I looked again I realized that he just looked very similar to Azi, but they are different persons. The one who sat down in the bar chatting up the bartender had a leaner face, an easier grin, and an over-brimming confidence that had surely been absent from the perpetually sad, insecure, closeted school president I had loved. Azi had been very solemn, inexperienced, and always on edge but this one who had nonchalantly bantered with the bartender was very relaxed and a very well-experienced man. Still, the similarity was uncanny, it hurt to stare at the familiar face for too long. The band singer was introduced to me as Shaun and the flash of interest in his eyes is enough for me to put my guard up. I wasn't up for Azi 2.0 to break my heart again and make me go through the same circus that took me three years to get over. Nevertheless, I found myself still stealing glances at the attractive and talented vocalist, who had captivated the attention and adoration of the crowd, if we judged from the reactions everywhere. Staring at the white band on my hand, I had asked Jag why I should put it on and he said that tonight is bracelet night and everyone is required to do so. After finding out what the colors meant, I resolutely picked up the white one, not wanting to deal with people coming up to me. Apparently, this rockstar has the same thought as I do, as he dismissed everyone's interest charmingly as if he just didn't declare he'd rather be left alone. Another difference with Azi was that the school president wasn't the kind who could say no without feeling bad, he'd be a knotted and nervous wreck before he could spit it out. This Shaun looked like he knew his mind and he didn't let anyone tell him otherwise. Sighing loudly into my second glass I let the singer's husky, deep voice--typical of a rockstar wash over me and the graceful movements, as he strummed his guitar and moved along with the rhythm. That would be another indication this wasn't Azi. Aside from being an adorable dork, Azi had two left feet and was embarrassingly tone-deaf. Smiling at the memory of that beach camping we had with our friends Azi was dorkily dancing with Kyle and Walter, certainly uncaring about how badly our ears hurt from his singing. Tanner had almost doubled over laughing but I found it cute and endearing. God was I whipped. I guess first loves tend to make you sickly blind and deaf like that. Bringing my attention back to the present, Shaun is belting out a song about how life is easier avoiding commitments, taking love where it's offered for the night, and how much easier it is just forgetting the person he had just f****d the whole night. I guess this Shaun does have a point. Sometimes, not letting yourself become attached is the safer option. The thing about meeting someone who you just have an instant chemistry with is like a live wire that has come in contact with water, the sparks and the jolts are too powerful and unexpected. Today, Shaun finds my eyes again and looks deeply as he sings about wanting to run his talented hands all over someone's golden skin and letting his desire consume them both. For some unknown reason, I felt he was singing the words for me and I shivered with both fear and anticipation. Slamming the glass down and thanking the bartender, I picked up my guitar case, thanking Tanner's timing, as he messaged that he was already outside. Glancing one last time to the attractive singer on stage with legs that go on forever and sinfully red pouting lips, I walked out of the bar. Looking outside the night of Alem, Tanner softly hums as he drives. For the first time in the years since we left high school, I asked: "Tanner, do you know where Azi's now? Surprised at the question, trying to recover quickly but sounding worried he asked: "This is the first time since then you've voluntarily asked a question about him Gus. Do you want to see him again? Are you still not over him?" Shaking my head in denial, because it was true. Azi to me is just a boy I used to know. Though some of the hurt lingers, it's normal to feel like this when the relationship falls apart badly, isn't it? The trauma had cost me four years of therapy in the US and it still stings. "No... I just saw someone who looked very similar to him. So I'm just curious I guess how he is faring in life," Shrugging looking out the window. "Kyle said he is married now. He has one kid and he lives in Paler," Tanner hesitantly answered. "Good for him. I guess it's true then? I was just trying to make him gay when he is not?" Once again the pain of the accusation surfaces in my consciousness and my eyes water for some reason. "AUGUST!" Tanner reached out to hold my hand. "Azi was wrong for saying all those things to you. From what Kyle had told me over the years, Azi felt sorry but he was too ashamed to face you. Gus... can you please try to let this go? Being gay is not a goddamned disease!" Another pair of doe eyes, ones blazing with fire and confidence, and that wide pouty mouth with cherry pink lips as he sings surfaces in my mind. I say to myself as I let my forehead touch the cool glass of the passenger window: "Oh Tanner! It is and I am still sick."