Never would have guessed

Work

The rest of the weekend passes with no events and now I'm sitting at work drinking a coffee and staring at my emails. Charlotte passes me and asks how my weekend is, I reply with a boring answer. She smiles and sits at her desk. I used to be close to a lot of the girls in my office but more and more happened and I became sort of a recluse and now I can’t seem to get my mojo back with them all. I sigh at the lost friendships and stare at my computer again

“You ok?” Rach asks, we’ve sat next to each other for the last three years and I'd say we’re close. Friends although we never see each other out of work unless it's for a work event. 

“Yeah, I'm just tired. Moved into my new house this weekend”

“How'd it go?” she smiles

“Good, Shannon and her mum helped me and I met my new neighbours. They’re old but nice. Invited me round for tea and wanted to know if Neo wanted to play with their dog bart.”

“Aww that's nice of them”

“Yeah” I reply not knowing what to say, she smiles and turns back to her computer. The morning goes by in a blur, I have another cup of coffee. I used to be in a brew round but everyone just seems to do their own thing half the time. We have to schedule lunches and my lunch slot is 1pm till 2pm. It’s quarter past 1 before I even realise the time. I look up and no one seems to notice I'm still sitting here. Great. 

“I’m gonna go get my lunch” i say to Rach

“Ok, enjoy” she replies

I grab my lunch out of my locker and go to the canteen, i see Charlotte and Emilia sat at a table with a few other girls. I should be brave and sit with them. I take a deep breath and walk over there

“Can I sit with you guys?” i ask putting my bag down

“Sure” Emilia smiles up at me and makes space for me “How's your day going?” she asks

“Good, a bit slow at the moment. What about you?” i sit down and grab my sandwich.

“I’m super busy today, I got 3 IM’s due and they're all 15 languages. It’s hell” she laughs

“That sucks, I think I have the artworks for those. Are they the salter ones?” I ask, she nods as she takes a bite of her sandwich. 

“Yeah, I hate them but they keep me occupied.” our conversation dies down and we interact with the others at the table.

“Rachael, are you going to come out with us on friday?” Charlotte asks me

“Where are you going?” i finish my sandwich and start on my crisps. Usually i have leftovers for lunch but because the weekend was filled with unpacking i haven't really had time to prep anything. 

“We’re thinking northern quarter and possibly gay village later on” she smiles and i can see hopefulness in her eyes, i used to go out with them a lot atleast once a month, usually around pay day or for someones birthday but recent years its been less and less.

“Sure what time?” she claps her hands and squeals. I laugh at her reaction

“Yes, we’re going to meet at 7pm in town”

“Great, I might be a bit late. Takes me a while to get home now” she smiles and asks me about the new house, everyone seems interested so i show them pictures and chat to them. After we finish lunch I feel a little better that i’ve started fixing my friendships with the girls. I go back to my desk and chat to Sadie and Rachael more like i used to and we laugh. By the end of the work day i’m feeling happier and lighter than i have done in years. 

That all changes when I get home.

My phone rings, its a number i don’t recognise so i answer it politely

“Hello?”

“Rachael?” i instantly recognise the voice and freeze up, i dont say anything “Rachael?”

“What do you want?” i try to keep the anger out of my voice

“When did you move?”

“Why do you want to know?” i ask

“You can’t just move without telling me”

“I think you’ll find i can” i start pacing in the kitchen

“Why did you move?”

“I thought it was obvious, were selling the house so i can’t live there no more”

“I didn’t think you were serious” that sentence as me stop pacing, i can’t believe the cheek of them

“Why would I not be serious?” i ask shocked at their blarzay tone

“I thought we were trying to work this out?” they reply almost whiney

“Trying to work out what? There is nothing to work out. It’s over. Bye” I hang up the phone, they instantly call me back but i ignore it. The cheek of them, how can we work it out. Theyre living in dreamland.

We got an early finish at work, 4pm wasn't great but it was better than nothing. Meant i could get home before 5pm and chill for the weekend. I stopped at ASDA to buy some snacks and pizza and thought me and Ash could have a date night. I pull up to the house and a car’s parked in front of the drive and it's not my mother in laws car, I try to ring Ash but she doesn’t answer so i just park across the road. No big deal, they'll move and I can park on the drive. I go to the front door but it's locked, that's odd. I unlock the door, usually the cats and dog greet me but no animal runs out. I notice the cat's door is shut, so I open it and let them out. They must have annoyed Ash at some point, I walk into the living room and it's empty and the TV's not on. Weird.

“Ash?” I shout upstairs, no reply. I go upstairs and go to the bathroom. I scroll through f*******: while on the toilet and I swear I can hear the TV or something in the bedroom. Ash must not feel well. I finish in the bathroom and peek my head into the bedroom.

The sound of grunting and moaning hits me first before I see two bodies in my bed, the quilt is on the floor Ash is on her knees behind someone else thrusting our dildo into some other woman. I stand there silent as I watch the scene unfold. They don't seem to have noticed i’ve entered the room

“Ash, yeah baby. Harder. Faster” the woman moans. Ash grabs the woman's hair and yanks on it, this makes her scream louder. Ash bends over the woman's back and kisses her neck and then turns her head to kiss her passionately on the mouth. They've still not noticed me so I leave the room. 

I walk downstairs in a daze, did I really just see that. My partner of 10 years having s*x with someone else, in our bed. With our s*x toys. What the hell. They won’t even have s*x with me, i have to practically beg. I can’t even remember the last time we had s*x. I sit on the sofa and stare at the walls. I don’t know how long i’m sitting there for before I hear the bedroom door open and close. I hear them talking coming down the stairs

“Who’s that?”

“My wife” Ash responds

“You're married?”

“Technically yes but not really?”

“What does that mean?”

“Means that we just exist together, not much else”

“Oh that must be so sad”

I don't hear how Ash responds because they’ve gone outside. I’m still staring into space when Ash comes into the living

“When did you get home?” she asks, i turn to look at her and all i see in her eyes is panic. 

“A while ago” i respond and stare at the wall “i think you should pack your stuff and leave” i stand up and go to the kitchen, i grab a glass of water and slowly drink it

“Rachael, i can explain”

“I don't need an explanation. I need you to leave” I state

“Come on, don’t do this to us”

“I didn't do anything. You did” I climb up the stairs and leave Ash downstairs shouting my name and I think they’re crying but I'm too numb to think. 

A tear rolls down my face as I remember the night my life went to s**t. I shake my head and push away those feelings. Stupid ash. Who do they think they are?