The Second Time Around

CHAPTER FIVE: The Preparation

The week before they left for the resort, Selene told the children.

"We're going on a TV show," she said, trying to make it sound casual. They were at breakfast, eating pancakes (which Selene had learned to make without burning). "A reality show about families."

"Like the Kardashians?" Lily's eyes went wide. "Will we be famous?"

"Maybe a little bit. But it's not about being famous. It's about showing people that families go through hard times. That it's normal. That it's okay to ask for help."

"Are we going through a hard time?" Ethan asked, analytical as always.

Selene looked at her son. She could lie. She could say everything was perfect. But she'd promised Alexander she'd tell the truth.

"We were," she said. "And maybe we still are, in some ways. Your father and I weren't always as close as we are now. We weren't always good at showing you how much we love you. The show is going to help us do better."

"So it's therapy?" Ethan's expression suggested he found this deeply amusing.

"Yes. Therapy on television. Which is weird, I know."

"Can I request a therapist who understands astrophysics?" Ethan asked. "Because most people don't."

"I'll see what I can do."

Lily was already planning her outfits. "What should I wear? Do they want me to look pretty or natural? Mom, I need professional styling. This is serious."

"No styling. Just wear what you normally wear."

"But that doesn't look good on camera," Lily protested.

Selene realized her seven-year-old was already thinking like a social media influencer and felt a chill run through her. The very thought that her daughter might grow up obsessed with image, with being seen, with curating her existence.

"Lily, listen to me. The show isn't about looking good on camera. It's about being real. It's about showing people what our life actually looks like. So wear your normal clothes. Let your hair be messy if it wants to be. Don't perform. Just be you."

"But I'm not interesting when I'm just me," Lily said, so seriously that Selene's heart broke a little.

"You're the most interesting person I know when you're just you."

The night before they left, Selene stood in the penthouse and looked at her life.

The perfect apartment. The perfect furniture. The perfect everything.

She'd spent so much time making it all look good. And for what? So that strangers on the internet could admire it? So she could feel validated?

She thought about the hospital room. About the ceiling tiles. About the moment she realized she'd wasted everything.

"You're going to be different, aren't you?" Alexander said, coming up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "After the show."

"We both are."

"I'm terrified," he admitted. "Of being on television. Of people judging our family. Of failing."

"We're not going to fail. We're just going to be honest."

"That's more terrifying than I can express."

She turned to face him. "I know. But I'll be right beside you the whole time."

"Promise?"

"Promise."