Only You & Me

6

Malik

Can I keep you?

Those were the first words I secretly uttered the moment I saw Jackie at the beach, during the pre-wedding of my cousin, Shayla to her husband Gerard Ponce.

Since then, I thought of a way to ensure that I could keep Jackie by my side and that was to make her my business partner. It was like hitting two birds with one stone.

First, ang makaiwas sa negosyo ng aming pamilya at magtayo ng sarili kong negosyo na iba naman sa nakalakihan at nakasanayan ko na. Hindi naman ako malaking kawalan sa aming negosyo. Naroon naman na ang mga kapatid ko na sina Matteo na kuya ko, at si Maximillan na kakambal ko. Si Marcus naman na kakambal ni Matteo ay hindi din nagta-trabaho sa aming family business. Si Marcus kasi ang CEO ng Park business empire which that was entrusted to him by Pinkie's father, who is now the Chairman Emeritus of said company.

Ako naman ay may negosyo na din sa larangan ng fine dining restaurant-- ang Gustoso restaurant and catering services kung saan si Jackie ang chef. I invested on Jackie's skills and sent her to study culinary, while running our business, and while I took MBA in one of the prestigious business schools here in the Philippines. At that time, Papai let me be because he saw my improvement. I also had an agreement with my father and brothers that I would only be required to attend monthly board meetings and annual stockholder's meetings. This is why I would go to Brazil once a month, and once every first quarter of the year to attend those meetings.

Second and the most salient point of my plan was that I'd get to be with Jackie all the time, while I figured out how to make her fall for me. I thought it was a brilliant plan, but it somehow backfired at me, because the more I got to spend time with Jackie, all the more that I had a different and deeper kind of relationship with her. She became my bestfriend. Every time pupunta ako sa Brazil para sa mga family business meetings, and my brothers and I would discuss, argue, and my ideas would either be turned down or get shot by my older brothers, it'd put me down and secretly shatter my confidence and belief in myself. But when I get home here in Manila, Jackie's there to clear my head and put my state of mind to proper perspective. She would remind me that as bunso of the family, with three dominant and 'Alpha' brothers, it was expected that sometimes I would not have a say on different matters.

"But it does not mean that you're not an Alpha in your own turf, diba? Jackie said to cheer me up.

Napatawa pa ako nang sinabi ni Jackie sa akin yun, dahil mahilig siya magbasa ng Twilight at kung anu-ano pang nobela tungkol sa mga werewolf, alpha at luna.

Naalala ko pa nga na sinabi niya sa akin noon na kapag nagka-anak siya ng lalake ay papangalanan niya ito ng Jacob at kapag babae naman daw ay papangalanan niya ng Luna.

"Jackie, my Beshy," kamot ko sa sentido habang pinagiisipan paano ko ba idedeliver ang newsflash sa kaniya. "Bago mo planuhin yan pangalan ng mga magiging anak natin..."

"Natin?" gulat niyang sambit at namula.

"Este anak mo,... anak mo lang... maghanap ka muna ng semen para makabuo ka ng bata." Suhestyon ko sa kaniya.

"My eyes are wide open, Beshy. Siyempre maghahanap ako ng lalake. Pero hindi ikaw yun kasi madami ka ng na-jerjer dyan. Ipa-baptized mo muna uli yang patotoy mo, before I can even consider it." Aniya.

"Luh! Hindi ko naman ino-offer si patotoy sa'yo ah?" pang-aasar ko.

Hinampas niya ako dahil napahiya siya. "Kahit na! Pag wala akong makita at pagwala pang official and exclusive na may-ari dyan kay patotoy, papahiram mo sa akin yan dahil Beshy mo'ko!" She demanded.

"Ayos, ah! Parang pet lang, 'puwede pahiram?' " I imitated the way she talked. and I earned a laugh from her. "Huy, Beshy! Di na uso libre ngayon." Hirit ko.

Napanganga siya. "Nagpapabayad ka? Gusto mong bayaran ko 'yon?" hindi siya makapaniwala.

"Sira!" Natatawa kong sagot. "Kailangan may kapalit yon! Kailangan sumaya muna ako, kaya mag-aral ka na mag-foreplay. Pano magra-rise sa occasion si patotoy kung hindi siya naeenganyo, diba? " paliwanag ko. "Kung gusto mo, tuturuan kita." Alok ko pa sa kaniya, just for kicks. I just wanted to watch her reaction or how she would retaliate.

She looked at me from head to foot giving me the impression that she was considering my suggestion.

I was just teasing her that time because we've been comfortable to each other in our second year of being best of friends. At that time, too, I was also giving our relationship some thought if I should already alter the course of our relationship?

But I was enjoying our banters, the simplicity and stability of what we have, that it scared me to lose it. I did not have the guts to take the risk, so I just resorted to teasing, flirting, subtle touching and slight intimacies, which she allowed me to do with her-- thanked God!

"Well, " she said tapping her chin with her finger. "I'm only 22 now... so hindi pa naman ako nagmamadali. Siguro mga after 5 to 6 years, I will consider it. Papaturo ako sa'yo." She beamed at me as she slid her arms around me so that we were face to face.

I felt patotoy reacted to her warm body close to mine, and I felt uncomfortable and worried she might notice it, and laughed at me. I had the need to look cool in front of this chic.

"Tsk! Tagal pa yon eh! Simulan na natin ngayon, para after 5 years, master ka na. Kung baga sa kung fu, black belter ka na!" Sinubukan ko pa din siya gatungan.

"Ipa-baptize mo muna si patotoy. Kung baga... born again!"

"Ano yon? Papakita ko sa pari si patotoy? Baliw!"

"Yeah!" Kibit balikat niya. "Tapos, let's wash patotoy with alcohol, sanitizer, soap and water... ako gagawa mismo, pramis!" she teased back, showing me her hand curved in a manner as if she's holding something, and moving in an up and down motion. I didn't get it at first, but her flirtatious smile gave me a hint that her action was with malicious intent-- she was giving me an imagery of how she would give me a hand job!

"Beshy!" Hindi ako makapaniwala dahil alam kong conservative siya--- dati. "Ang harot mo!" Hindi na ako nakapag-pigil. Niyakap ko siya, hinalikan ko sa leeg almost giving her a hickey, and tickled her.

Tawa siya ng tawa. "Ikaw kasi eh! Parati kang green-minded, pati tuloy ako nahahawa sa'yo! Iba ka kasi, Koya! Isa kang virus!" She laughed.

I smiled as I recalled those times that we would banter and laugh at our own private jokes. This was one of the things that I treasure about our friendship. This has also been one of the reasons why I tried to keep my feelings from her at bay, and just be best friends with her.

But things changed the moment I kissed her.

***

I waited nervously for Jackie to step out of the powder room, so we could talk. I needed to explain to her what I did and why I did it.

The door opened, but it was the maintenance lady who stepped out of the door. Hindi pa din lumalabas si Jackie, kahit sinabi niyang lalabas na siya. While she may acted cool earlier and even told me to dress up, she may just be buying time to think. Hindi niya kayang lumabas ng kuwarto para harapin ako.

"Si Beshy talaga!" Nasambit ko at kinabahan dahil baka natakot si Jackie sa akin at baka mas maging kumplikado ang sitwasyon namin kungdi namin ito kaagad mapag-usapan. Nagdesisyun na akong pumasok sa loob ng powder room, bago pa may dumating na mga bisita.

Agad ko siyang nakita na naglakad ng pabalik-balik sa tapat ng dresser.

"Beshy," I softly called her name, as I locked the door so we could have privacy.

She stopped and looked at me with worry in her eyes. Humarap siya sa akin at pinagmasdan niya ako.

"Beshy," sambit niya. "Mahal na mahal kita." She seemed to be confessing. "Ayokong mawala ka sa'ken." Nagsimula na siyang umiyak.

Agad kong binagtas ang espasyo sa pagitan namin dalawa at niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit.

"Hindi ako mawawala sa'yo." Tugon ko. "Tahan na. Wag ka umiyak, masisira make-up mo." Marahan ko pang sabi.

Natawa siya habang naiiyak pa din. " Paano na tayo?" hikbi niya.

Napalunok ako. "Paano nga ba?" nahihiya kong balik tanong sa kaniya.

"Ikaw ang magsabi sa akin. Ikaw 'tong humalik sa akin, eh!" Inis niyang sagot, habang mahigpit na nakaakap sa akin.

Napangiti ako. "Oo nga pala..." maikli kong tugon habang magkayakap pa din kami. "Ansarap pala ng dede ng cow." Hirit ko.

Hinampas niya ako habang nakayakap sa akin, kahit na bahagya ko na siyang inilalayo upang magkaharap kami ng mukha.

"Beshy naman, eh! Nahihiya talaga ako!"

"Ba't ka mahihiya sa akin? Ako 'to Beshy, diba? Hindi na tayo nahihiya sa isa't isa." I slightly pushed her away from me, so that I could see her face.

Damn it, she's f0cking beautiful... and gorgeous... and she's the only one I will ever look at this way ... and I think this is the cause of my resurfacing feelings for her.

"Beshy," she uttered and shyly looked at me. " Kaya mo ba ako kiniss kasi tinatrato mo na ako katulad ng ibang mga girls mo?" naluluha niyang tanong. "Hindi na ba ako ang Beshy mo?"

I took time to reflect about how I truly feel for her before I give her an answer.

"Hinding-hindi kita tinuring na katulad ng ibang... babae" I said. I even instantly regretted having engaged with different women as I finally realized how much this was making her worry. "Ikaw lang ang Beshy ko, at hindi ka katulad ng iba." I assured her as I cupped her face, almost wanting to kiss her again. "And I'm sorry that my activities and interactions with women have affected you... made you this worried."

"So, paano na nga tayo?" tanong niya na napapangiti na, ngunit halatang nahihiya pa din.

"Meu Amor... " I said, wanting to tell her that whatever she wants me to be, I will be. Whatever she needs, I will give. If she wants me to lose, I will give in. Kahit ano pa iyon, basta huwag na siya umiyak at mag-alala pa. Hindi ko siya kayang makitang nahihirapan at naguguluhan ng ganito. "I don't want you to regret anything, so I'm letting you decide." I finally articulated what I wanted to say and breathed.

"Decide?" napatingin siya sa mga mata ko at napalunok. "Beshy... I wanted this... have wanted so much from you for the longest time." She honestly said with tears in her eyes. "I want what happened, but does that mean we're no longer best of friends?" she started crying again.

I gently held her arms so we could be closer. I caught a whiff of her perfume which I loved so much, and felt patotoy became hard again.

I could not believe I'm reacting and wanting her this way at a time such as now. I felt annoyed with myself, because this was turning point in my life.

"Shhh... don't cry." Because it was ripping my heart to see you struggling and hurting this way.

I thought of a proposition, and mustered the guts to tell her. " If you wanted what happened... what if we continue then... and see it from there?"

My proposal sounded biased and favorable to me. Napalunok ako dahil parang nanunuyo ang aking lalamunan sa nerbyos, habang nakatitig sa kaniyang mukha. Ayokong may ma-miss na kahit isang reaksyon niya, sa takot kong magkamali at mawala sa akin ng isang iglap si Jackie.

I stopped holding her, and felt my own tears fall.

"You're not just Beshy to me, Jackie. You're my love, Meu Amor," I heard the croak in my own voice. "Can I keep you, my gatinha?" I confessed as a tear fell my eye. I was starting to be emotional. "Can you stick around and never leave me?"

Lalo siyang naluha. "Yes." She immediately answered. "I have been sticking around with you for eight long years, sira ka talaga!" Natatawa niyang tugon. "Bakit mo ba kasi ako hinalikan, Beshy?" hinampas na naman niya ako sa braso.

Natawa ako. "Dahil mahal kita at nagseselos ako sa sarili kong multo." I admitted.

"Mahal mo ako as your best friend kaya ka nagseselos?" paglilinaw niya.

"Haist, Beshy! Kailangan ba talaga ipahayag ko yung inner most secret ko?" tanong at reklamo ko sa kaniya. "Nakakahiya kasi eh!" Di ako mapakali.

She just looked at me, half-smiling and half- expecting from me. Sa walong taon na magkasama kami parati, kabisado ko na ang mga reaksyon ng babaeng ito--- ng babaeng mahal ko.

Napabuntong hininga ako at napahilamos ng mukha habang nakatitig sa kaniya.

"Sige, gagawin ko na, dahil I owe it to you... dahil lumagpas na ako sa border... I sucked dede ng cow, and I don't regret it. " Nahihiya kong pag-amin. "In fact, I f0cking want more. I want to see, touch, and taste more.... of you, gatinha--" I looked at her straight in the eyes.

"Beshy..." she started to say, and I stopped to listen like a puppy waiting for his master to say sit, turn, roll.

"Yes?" I asked mesmerized with her face, and the way she was taking over the turn of this event that may make or break our friendship.

"It is clear to me how we physically-- want each other," she shyly said, as I watched her eyes magnetized me and as her lips moved which led me to think of many ways I can consume it. "But do you love me like a bestfriend or something else? Maybe something more?" she was unsure how to ask it, and I completely understood what she wanted to articulate. I guess, that was one of the benefits of being so familiar with her.

"Mahal na mahal kita bilang best friend ko, pero mas mahal kita na may kasamang SPG noon pa! Takot lang ako na baguhin ang lahat dahil baka magkamali ako at masaktan kita... at mawala ka sa akin. " I finally had the balls to give her a clue of how I felt for her. "But, gatinha," I drew her closer to me. " I just don't want to be your bestfriend. In fact, I hate just being your best friend!" I admitted. "For eight years, I have been loathing the thought that one day, you would find a proper man, and I would still be your best friend--- who would help you with your wedding arrangement and envy your husband for being the one who gets to make you his wife..."

I didn't realize that admitting it to her made me feel so nervous and insecure. But, I want her to know. Ayoko na magsikreto sa kaniya.

"I dread the day that you might find someone other than me... and I... I would just be there for you and your husband... and become your kids' favorite uncle by spoiling Jacob with cool robots and Luna with fancy dolls among other things... while I would still be madly in love with you and God forbid I-don't- murder-your-husband!"

Napahilamos ako ng mukha habang si Jackie naman ay ngiting ngiti. Tiyak kong napangiti siya sa thought na naaalala ko pa din ang gusto niyang mga pangalan para sa magiging mga anak niya.

I know Jackie well enough to know I earned brownie points for remembering that, and I know killing her future husband did not also sit well with her. But who knows, maybe by telling her how I truly feel, after eight long years, and if I don't do stupid things, I would get to marry her and I would still grow old with her in the end.

" I don't want to grow old without you, Jackie. I don't want to die alone with regret that I could not tell the truth that--- I love you. I love you, Jackie, more than just a bestfriend."

Sa buong buhay ko, ngayon lang ako nilamig ng ganito. Pakiramdam ko pa nga ay nangangatog ang baba ko habang naghihintay ng reaction ni Jackie.

"You don't know how long I have waited for you to say that!" Naluluha niyang sagot. "Gusto kita sabunutan, Malik!" Naiiyak niyang sabi. "Grabe! Pagong ka?" komento niya na tila parang normal lang ang aming pinaguusapan.

Napatawa ako sa hirit niya. It was also a relief for me that this woman treated me the same way as before, which made me slightly calm down inside. "Sorry, Beshy. I didn't realize you were waiting. I thought..." I gulped as I grasped for the words that could describe how I felt and the hell I went through just to deny the signs because I was afraid to take her seriously and hope for something that might end up bad and awkward for both of us. "I didn't want to assume that those things you were telling me before that were... half-true?"

"Beshy..." napakagat labi siya. "Beshy pa din ba tayo?" nahihiya niyang tanong. "Anyway, the reason why I wasn't telling you was---"

"Because I should be the one to initiate it." I whispered as I finished her sentence.

"Y-yes... and..."

"You were unsure of me dahil sa mga pakikipag-date ko at pambabae ko." I softly answered again for her, because I could read her like the palm of my hand, and I knew her heart.

Napaluha siya. "Y-yes." Namumula niyang amin. "Alam ko na alam mo naman iyon diba?" Sabi niya.

"I'm sorry," nahihiya kong sagot."I'm sorry na sa mga panahon na iyon, nasasaktan na pala kita. Naduwag kasi ako dahil baka hindi ko kayanin ang standard mo at ma-disappoint ka sa akin."

"Pero diba nasabi mo na ngayon na mahal mo ako?" nahihiya niyang tanong. " That surpassed all my standards, even if I don't have one because I don't care about standards. And even if I do have..." napaisip siya bago tumingin sa mga mata. "Beshy, ikaw ang standard ko. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko." Paliwanang niya sa akin na nagpakilig sa kaibuturan ng puso ko.

"You don't know how this makes me so happy!" Ngiting-ngiti kong sagot.

"Talaga?" nahihiya din niyang ngiti.

I could not believe how unassuming this woman is, which was one of the many reasons I feel so comfortable with her and love her to bits!

"Mahal mo ba talaga ako na more than just your bestfriend?" tumingin siya pababa. Tila naghahagilap din siya ng sasabihin sa akin. "I'm sorry I just want to be sure tama yung pagkakarinig ko kasi... baka mali yung intindi ko. Baka... nagde-daydream lang ako. Baka--"

I held her face so she could see me. "Jackie, my love, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal! Ayoko nang maging bestfriend mo lang. Puwede bang bigyan mo naman ako ng license na maging boyfriend mo? Please? Kasi pag bestfriend mo lang ako, puwede ka pang makuha ng iba sa akin."

"Malik, hindi ba dapat ako ang matakot dahil baka makuha ka ng iba sa akin? Look at you, and look at me. Maraming naghahabol sa'yong mga babae at yung mga babaeng yon sobrang gaganda at sexy---"

I heard everything she said and the things she could not say to me. I realized ito nga ang benefit ng kapag matagal na kayong magkasama ay nagkakaintindihan kayong dalawa, at tila nagsi-synchronize ang mga iniisip niyo. Parang si B1 at B2 na naiisip ng isa ang naiisip ng pangalawa and vice versa.

I looked and thought I would suggest na tawagan namin ni Jackie sa isa't isa simula ngayon ay B1 at B2! I'm sure magpo-protesta yon dahil gusto non ay yung mga traditional at sweet. Pero sigurado din ako na papayag yon dahil importante kay Jackie ang exclusivity.

"Huy!" Hinampas ako ni Jackie. "Nakikinig ka pa ba sa'ken?" naiinis niyang sabi.

"Yes, B2. Nakikinig ako sa'yo." Nakangiti kong sagot.

"Anong B2 sinasabi mo dyan? Puro kalokohan ka na naman!" Naiinis niyang reklamo.

"Ako si B1, ikaw si B2 ko. " Sabi ko sa kaniya.

"Anong B1... B2? Yung mga saging na mahilig magsabi ng, 'naiisip mo ba ang naiisip ko?" tanong niya, at tila napangiti. "Sige na nga. Gusto ko yon, B1 ko!" Kinikilig niyang sabi sa akin at yumakap. "Oh my gosh, Beshy! Totoo ba 'to? Tayo na ba?"

"Yes!" Masaya kong sagot.

"Hala! Sinasagot mo na ako, Beshy?" tawa niya sa akin.

Napakamot ako ng ulo. "Tsk! Dapat ikaw ang nagasasabi niyan sa akin, e! Yan tuloy, nasira na ang moment natin!" pabiro kong reklamo sa kaniya.

"Wa ako pakels, B1 ko! Ang mahalaga sa akin, akin ka na exlusively." Aniya. "Tama diba?" kinikilig niyang ngiti, at yumapos sa akin habang nakatingin kami sa isa't isa. "Wala nang ibang girls, diba? Kahit na mas maganda at sexy pa sila? " malambing niyang tanong.

All I could see was how adorable Jackie was, and how much I wanted to explain to her that there's no other woman more beautiful or sexier than my Beshy who I've been having sensual dreams about when I wasn't with her, or when I would be in her bed with her. But, later na lang yon.

I had the urge to taste her lips and tongue again. I cupped her face and pressed my lips on hers, which surprised her, but reciprocated with so much wanting than I expected from her. And I realized I liked it. It turned me on more to know she wanted it too as much as I do.

Oh, Jackie...ang tagal tagal ko ng gusto gawin ito sa'yo, pero hindi ko magawa. This time, kahit hindi mo pa man sinasabi na officially sa akin ka na, I am already claiming you as mine. Only mine.

Jackie continued to respond to my kiss, but she was bending backward, as if she was gasping for air and feeling weak so I held her tighter, which made me feel her chest on mine. She clung her arms around my shoulder, and I was caught off guard with her weight. I squatted to gently lay her down on the carpeted floor, wanting to claim every bit of her. But then, this is not where I imagined for a hundred times already, where we would make love. She deserved so much more than this. Reluctantly, I must stop.

"My love, B2..." I gasped for air, but wanted to slip my hand between her legs. I was curious. I wanted to know if she wanted me the way I do. She gasped as I swiped my hand on her mound, and, yes, I felt her very moist slit.

It spiked my wanting for her even more. Bad decision. It was a bad decision to touch her, because my conviction was quickly fading away.

I looked at her all dreamy and wanting for me, and I wanted to oblige. I positioned myself on top of her as we kissed more, but we both heard a knock on the door.

"Jackie?" I heard Rori's voice. "Are you there with Malik?"

Naitulak ako ni Jackie, at pinilit na tumayo ngunit dahil skimpy ang suot niya ay nahirapan siya. Sumimple ako ng hawak sa balakang at behind niya, saka ko siya inaangat sa may bewang upang makatayo siya. I hugged her from behind and made her feel my hard on. I even cupped her breasts, wanting her to feel how much I wanted her.

"Beshy..." she gasped, and held on to my hands. "Hinahanap na tayo. Nakakahiya." She said.

Napabugha ako ng hininga. "You're right. " I said and stepped away from her.

Inayos niya ang kaniyang sarili sa salamin. Ako naman ay tumulong sa kaniya ng pag-ayos ng nagulo niyang buhok. Humarap siya sa akin at nagmadali siyang i-direcho ang necktie ko. She put her palm on my chest downwards to straighten it, and noticed the bulge in my pants. She bit her lip.

"Sorry, B1." She apologized.

"It's okay." I whispered as I stared at her lips, wanting to kiss her again.

"Later?" she whispered too, as she looked at me with her beautiful eyes.

I quirked a smile and did not respond. This was because I was not sure I would last the night just looking at her.

Foder! Patotoy almost came the moment I touched Jackie's pempem.

And I wanted more. But then, I reminded myself to slow down because I have a whole lifetime to love her and make her mine. Nakapagpigil nga ako ng walong taon, kaya kakayanin ko pa siya bigyan siya ng ilang araw.

I hope a week would be enough before she becomes Mrs. Malik Pontes.