My December

People say that there will be 3 important loves in your life. First is your first crush. This love is your introduction to what it is like to feel a strong feeling for someone who is not your family member. This love is usually pure and innocent. Second is your first love. This love is probably the one that people talk about the most. There are tons of movies and songs dedicated to this love. I understand why there is a quote that says “you will never forget your first love”, because it is true. First love is intense. This love will show you how powerful love is. How big of an effect does it have on someone’s life? This is where you learn about the joy, the longing and the emotional rollercoaster that love can put someone through. Third, is your last love. The person you want to spend the rest of your life with. This love will teach you what true love really means. This love will show you that true love is not only about the butterflies and the fireworks. True love is beyond that. True love is peace and war at the same time. True love is when all selfishness and ego are completely forgotten. Some people are lucky enough to find all these 3 loves in one person. Unfortunately, I am not one of those lucky people. I sigh out loud and the sound of my own noisy breath stops my train of thought about my love life. It is miserable enough and I really don’t need to be reminded of those memories when I’m getting ready for my long journey home. I glance at the horoscope page on a magazine I bought earlier. “Thank you for the trip down memory lane” I muttered annoyingly toward the page, then slammed it shut. I look at the commotion around me. The airport always looks so busy. LAX is probably the busiest airport I have ever been to. The passengers are so diverse that I think I have seen more than half of the ethnicity in the world here. I looked at the big clock in front of me. It is 7.45 in the evening. My flight will take off in 2 hours. That’s what happens when you have extreme anxiety about missing your flight, so you decided that sitting in the airport’s waiting room for almost 4 hours is better than being late. Yep, that’s me. My flight back to Indonesia will be a long journey. Eleven hour flight to Tokyo, a three hour layover in Tokyo, then an 8 hour flight to Jakarta. Then I still have to go through a total of more than 4 hours flight back to my hometown. It’s tiring to even think about sitting down for that long, and I know that I will need a long massage when I get home. That’s actually a great thing to kick start my Christmas and winter break. Especially after a full year of nonstop studying for my first year of master’s degree. Not knowing what to do, I randomly opened the magazine one more time just to occupy my hands and mind. I stare at the pictures of different clothing items on the page, admiring the beautiful dresses that the models wear. I am not a fashion follower, and I generally don’t care about the latest fashion trends. But I love dresses. They always look so elegant and majestic in my eyes. Flipping through the pages, I finally arrived one more time on the horoscope page. It’s still there. The words that bring back all the memories. - Leo: there is a big love ahead. Watch out for a Sagittarius. This time, it could be your one true love – Those are the words. It might seem like nothing to most people, but not for me. I am a Leo. While I generally don’t trust what the horoscope says, there are times where what’s written on those pages gives you hope when you need one, brings back memories, or ignites certain emotions. You might wonder why those words brought a lot of memories back. You see, I have a history with Sagittarius. Not only one, but two different Sagittarius. Yes, you read that right. Remember what I said about those 3 important loves? I have met two of them, and they are all Sagittarius. My first crush and my first love are all December babies. If the horoscope has any truth to it, that means my next love will be another Sagittarius. How depressing just to think about that possibility. I can honestly admit that I am more than afraid to be in another relationship with a man who shares the same traits as my first crush and first love. Because weirdly enough, those December men share a lot of similar personality traits. They are not bad guys by any means. The thing is, I am more afraid of myself than afraid of them. I am afraid of liking someone too much and losing myself in the process. Somehow, Sagittarius men have those kinds of effects on me. I mean, come on! Where are the other 11 zodiac signs? I decided to take a picture of the page and send it to my best friend, Marion. I’m starting to get bored all by myself and Marion has a way to make anything fun. “Help me run away from another Sagittarius!” I typed the message and sent it together with the picture. In seconds, I see Marion start typing. “hmmm you want to share Matthew with me? He is a Gemini.” I burst out laughing when I read her reply. Ewww gross! “No, thanks. That’s just gross.” I sent my short response. “You’re no fun.” I smiled at the annoyed emoji she uses at the end of her text. “I love you, but Matthew is not my type” I sent my reply while thinking about Marion and Matthew. I got a full-ride scholarship from UCLA to study for my master’s degree in Biology. I saw the scholarship opportunity on the internet and took my chance to apply. I had never thought that I would win the scholarship. I met Marion a few days after I first arrived in Los Angeles. She was a freshman and had never been to LA before, just exactly like me. She is from a small town in North Carolina. We got close really quickly after we talked and discovered that we’re both a big fan of The Vampire Diaries. We then filled out the request to be roommates in one of the university’s dorms. We’ve been almost inseparable ever since. I love the fact that she is respectful of our differences. I am still holding on to my eastern traditions and values in my day-to-day life in LA, while Marion is the complete opposite. However, she never pushes me to let go of my values. She respects the boundaries I have, and that’s the reason why she is my best friend. We both come from a very different background and sometimes we don’t share the same opinion about a lot of things. However, our friendship somehow works. Our differences also extend to our taste in man. She loves Damon and I love Stefan. That’s how polar opposite we are. Matthew is her boyfriend of 1 year. A rugged looking guy, who looks like a giant when we stand next to each other. Mostly because I am more than tiny. He is extremely honest with his thoughts, but also very kind. He is fun to be around. Let’s just say that their relationship is far from vanilla, if you know what I mean. “Matthew should be everyone’s type. And I love you too, Nathalia Wini.” The new text draws my attention back to my phone. I smile when I read my full name. Well, not exactly my full name. Nathalia Gabriella Wini is my full name. It took Marion a few months to wrap her head around the fact that a girl from Indonesia had a western name. I send her kissy face emojis as my last reply. Closing up my conversation with Marion, I opened the i********: app and started scrolling through my page, pressing the heart buttons on several posts. One new story appears and it catches my attention immediately. Richard. What a coincidence. Seems like the universe has decided that they will help me get through the long journey by dragging me down the memory lane kicking and screaming. Richard is one of the two Sagittarius I’ve mentioned before. He was my first crush. The first boy who made me think about what it feels like to have a boyfriend. We first met when we entered the same Junior High School and became classmates in our first year. I immediately noticed him because he is cute. He was a skinny boy with curly hair. However, even at twelve, he radiated confidence. Looking at the big clock one more time, I was surprised that it had been only fifteen minutes since the last time I checked the time. With more than one hour of waiting left, I thought I would just go with the universe flow. Besides, this particular part of my memory lane is not rough to get through. It was even cute compared to the others. I smile as my mind drifts back to the year of 2007.