Ruined By My Hockey Stepbrother

SOLENE I knew something was wrong the moment I stepped into his apartment. I knew not because of the heels by the couch, or because of the wine glasses on the counter or even because the hallway light was off when Drian always left it on, but I knew because of the sound. A soft moan floated through the apartment, followed by the unmistakable creak of my boyfriend’s bed. I froze when I heard it, my heart racing hard, and I clenched my teeth hard, stopping it from shaking so badly. My fingers tightened around the little anniversary gift bag in my hand until the paper crumpled beneath my grip. For a second, I convinced myself that I was overthinking and that maybe the television was on or that maybe he had a company over, his male friends and they were watching porn like they always do, but then the thought shattered when I heard her laughter. That familiar laughter, that laugh that had made me question everything from the very day I saw her. Maya. My stomach dropped, my heart clenched tightly, and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest and then shoved my lifeless body off a cliff, but then again, it can’t be what I was thinking. It can’t be Maya, right? It cannot be Maya his best friend, the same friend he had reassured me countless times that she was just his friend. “She’s just a friend, Sol.” “You’re being paranoid.” “You have nothing to worry about. She is just like my little sister, and nothing is going on between the two of us.” I remembered his words clearly, and I remembered every single time he’d looked me in the eye while saying. Every single time he made me feel guilty for ever doubting him, and now her moans were echoing through his bedroom. I took a step forward before I could stop myself and then another, even though all the nerves ans cells in my body were screaming at me to turn back and run away, to save myself from the pain and trauma I was about to see, but instead I pushed forward, the gift bag slipped from my fingers and hit the floor with a silent thud. My entire body felt numb as I reached the half-open bedroom door, and there they were. Adrian was on top of her, completely naked, his body moving with a slow, deep rhythm that made the creak in time with every thrust. Sweat covered his back, and one of his hands was buried in Maya’s hair, gripping it just tight enough to tilt her head back while the other hand braaced beside her head, veins standing out in his forearm. Maya’s legs were locked around his waist, her heels digging into the back of his thighs, pulling him deeper with every roll of his hips. Her soft, breathy moans filled the room, her nails dragged lightly down his back, leaving faint red lines that disappeared under the sheen of sweat. “Oh god, Adrian…” she gasped, the words breaking into a low, needy whimper as he thrust into her again. The sound of their bodies meeting, skin against skin, and the rhythm at which they both moved twisted like a knife in my chest. Tonight was meant to be our night, I had spent all day thinking about the gifts to give him for being amazing, planning to cook dinner for us and always believing him when he said Maya was just a friend, but now she was arching beneath him, her breasts pressed against his chest, her hips rising to meet every thrust like they were made for each other. Adrian’s pace quickened slightly, the bedframe knocking softly against the wall, and Maya’s moan turned into a shaky, satisfied laugh that melted into another grasp. I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw something or anything at them, but all I could do was stand frozen, my nails digging into the door frame, watching the man I loved f****d his best friend on the same sheet we’d shared two nights ago. My lips parted, but no words came out, not even a single drop of tears left my eyes, too and when Maya noticed me, a smirk left her lips. “Adrain… we have a guest,” she said, and then he turned lazily to look at me. He didn’t scramble, or lunge for the sheets or trip over an apology or feel guilty that I had just caught him with his supposed best friend, but instead he looked relieved, like he had been waiting for this moment to finally come. He exhaled heavily before sitting up, “Finally, the cat is out of the bag.” The word hit me harder than catching him cheating. Finally!? Did he just say, finally, that I caught him? I stared at him, unable to speak and still unable to process what he meant by finally. Maya quickly grabbed the sheet to cover herself, but Adrian barely bothered. He leaned back against the headboard, completely unremorseful and unapologetic. “I was wondering how long it would take you to finally figure it out,” he said, his hand combing his hair, and my chest tightened even more. He expected me to figure it out that he was cheating on me with Maya for six years of us being together, and even when I asked him if he was cheating on me with Maya. He could have come clean and saved me this trauma, and now suddenly I was the i***t who couldn’t “figure it out.” “Say something, damnit,” he muttered, but I couldn’t. My throat burned too much from everything. Adrian dragged a hand down his face before laughing humourlessly. “You know what? Maybe this is better… I mean, you catching us this way saves me the stress of pretending anymore.” Pretending!? Six years of us together with the promise of marriage, kids and forever was all a pretence to him? My hand slowly grabbed my chest as a jolt of pain flowed through me. Every word felt like thorns piercing through my skin. Maya looked uncomfortable now, but Adrian looked free, as if hurting me had lifted some unbearable weight from his shoulders. “You want to know the truth?” he asked, and I shook my head. I didn’t want to know, heaven knows that I didn’t because I knew each word would only kill me slowly and crumble my last will to survive this night, but Adrian did care, he kept talking anyway. “You’re boring, Solene.” The words slammed into me. “You just lie there and expect me to do all the work every single time, like you are a deadbeat. I kept trying to be patient with you, but you never loosen up, you f*****g never experiment with what s*x actually means, you never do anything, you just f*****g lie there like a corpse and make me f**k you all the time,” he said, almost in a yell. “But Maya never does that. She actually makes me feel wanted, she rides me like a pro rider and takes me to cloud nine each time she does it. She makes me yearn for s*x daily and makes me feel like a man,” he continued vruelly, “meanwhile, you act terrified every time I touch you.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall, even as his words, the humiliation became suffocating, I still stood still. “You know how exhausting it is trying to sleep with someone who acts like s*x is a f*****g homework. That’s disgusting, and that’s why Maya is way better, because even if I am to stick with someone like you, you can never know what it means to satisfy your partner in the next ten years. You are f*****g pathetic and boring.” Maya whispered his name softly like a warning or a plea for him to stop, but he ignored her and continued. “You don’t make me feel anything, and I hate it. I have been trying to tell you for months, but you are too naive and stupid to see what was right in front of you.” Naive. Stupid. Boring. Corpse. Every insult wrapped around my throat tighter and tighter, and suddenly I understood something so horrifying. He wanted to hurt me and humiliate me, not because he felt guilty or because he was angry, but because he believed making me feel small and destroying my self-esteem would justify what he did, and somehow that hurt even more than the cheating itself. My gaze moved from him to Maya, and I could tell she couldn’t meet my eyes because she was guilty or pretending to be one and that almost made me laugh because out of the three people in his room, she somehow looked the most ashamed. I finally smiled, not because anything was funny, but because I could physically feel my heart cracking apart inside my chest, and smiling was the only thing keeping me from collapsing. I nodded slowly and then turned around and walked out of the room, neither of them stopping me, and even if they did, I doubt I could stay because the apartment suddenly felt too small, too hot and too suffocating for me. By the time I made it outside his apartment, my legs gave out beneath me, and I dropped onto the cold pavement hard enough to scrape my palms and knees. People walked past me, cars moved, some people stared at me, and some laughed but I didn’t care; everything around me felt distant and blurred. I stared at the open space, with my heart bleeding and broken inward and with no remedy to my problems. I should’ve cried when I saw them. I wanted to cry, and even now, God knows I wanted to cry my eyes out and scream into the night, but nothing came, not even a single tear. I blinked repeatedly, trying to force them out, but all I felt was complete numbness. The humiliation replayed in my head over and over again. ‘You’re boring.’ You just lie there doing nothing.’ ‘Maya makes me feel wanted.’ I wrapped my arms around myself tightly as I thought about the six years I wasted loving someone who apparently couldn’t stand me anymore, and maybe he was right, maybe I was boring, maybe I was too timid, too inexperienced, and too careful. The thought made my stomach twist violently, and my perfect world suddenly crumpled around me. I was still sitting on the pavement, lost in my thoughts, when my phone rang. I ignored it, but it kept ringing nonstop. I groaned softly and dragged it from my bag, ready to decline the call, but my thumb froze when I saw the name on the screen. Mom!? I stared at the screen in disbelief. My mother, the woman I hadn’t spoken to properly in months, especially not after the fight we had months ago that left us in a messy situation with both of us cutting tiles from each other. I hesitated before answering the call. “Hello?” “Solene!” Her voice sounded the same as ever, bright and excited, and I frowned slightly because now wasn’t the time for something bright in my life. “Mom?” “Oh my God, sweetheart, I’ve been trying to reach you all evening,” she said, and I swallowed hard, stille motionally numb. “What Mom?” “Well..” she laughed nervously, “there’s actually something important I need to tell you.” A strange feeling settled in my stomach; my mother only sounded this careful when she knew I wouldn’t like something. “I got married!!” she yelled in excitement. “What!?” “I said I got married three weeks ago,” she continued, “in New York. His name is Gerald Thane, he’s wonderful, he’s… Solene, are you there?” “You got married and forgot to mention it to me?” I laughed in disbelief. “It wasn’t like that, sweetheart,” she rushed out quickly, “things happened so fast, and I didn’t know how to tell you. Gerald is wonderful, Solene, and he wants to meet you,” she said, and I scoffed. Of course, he did; he wants to be the perfect father to me now that my life is a complete mess. “I know we’ve had problems,” my mother continued softly, “but I want us to fix things, I want us to be a real family again,” she said, and a bitter laugh almost escaped me. A big family, what a joke. “I’m serious this time, Solene. I know I haven’t always been the best mother, but I am willing to try now. I want you to come to New York, I want us to start a new, you and I. i want us to mend our patches and be together again. I want my daughter back.” I stay silent. “Gerald has a son,” she said, “you’ll have a stepbrother. We’ll be a proper family, a big happy family, and I know that sounds like a lot right now, but Sloane… It’s a fresh start, a real one. Don’t you want that?’ I rubbed my temple slowly… a fresh start which I could really use right now because my entire life was falling apart tonight. “I already booked your flight,” she said suddenly, and my head snapped. “What?” “You leave tonight.” Tonight? My chest tightened. “Mom-” “Please, Solene,” for the first time, her voice cracked, “please come to New York for me, please.” I couldn’t believe everything that was happening around me: my boyfriend had just shattered my heart, my mother had secretly gotten married, and now, I was apparently moving across the country tonight. Everything was changing too fast. I exhaled shakily because, somehow, amidst everything going on in my life right now, I had a terrifying feeling my life was about to become even messier.