Beneath the perfect smile

Lila Reynold I wake up with a jolt.Sweat covering every inch of my body. ''Not this dream again'' I say helplessly This recurring dream has been torturing me since the third grade,when my mother and brother died. A sharp pain seizes my chest and a sob so violent threatens to rack my body. "For the love of god" I tell myself "It's been 8 years " I look over at my clock and start getting ready for school .I honestly could have given myself an extra 40 mins of sleep but I wouldn't have been able to fall asleep anyways. I am not ready for the nightmares to claw at me again. Once I'm done , I tiptoe over to the top of the stairs and check if the coast is clear.All the while trying to calm my erratic heartbeat .I pause ,listening quietly. The house is quiet. He's still asleep. • ✧･ﾟ:*• ✧･ﾟ:* The drive to school feels short, more so than usual ,probably because of my spiraling thoughts.I squeeze my hands in my lap, trying to stop their incessant shaking .Despite having been going to this school since 7th grade.Apparently my nervous system cannot tell the difference between going to school and getting chased by a serial killer. The car comes to a stop ,I step out waving my chauffeur ; bill off. The school gates are looking real daunting and I've gotta say I am not looking forward to that.I allow myself two breathes to calm myself down. "Come on Lila ,you've got this "despite my situation, I laugh at my brains sorry attempt at cheering me up. I let out a soft sigh. " I can't keep avoiding this any longer " I step into the school without looking back. My perfect mask in place. After 100 "sorry's" "15 hellossmiles" and 20 excuse me's" It is an understatement to say that I am tired .Nevertheless I make it to my first period on time . "Science"ugh I hate it so much , almost as much as I hate him. Stepping into the classroom , I'm hit with the usual chatter and carefree atmosphere. Something comes zooming ,aimed straight at my head. Not having enough time to dodge , I settle for a high pitched shriek instead. Turns out it was simply a rubber duckie ,but it was thrown with enough force to still pack a punch ; but of course I play it off. Do they really think I'm made of metal? The guys burst out laughing. "with the way you two are clutching your stomachs and wheezing, I'm convinced oxygen masks are about to drop from the ceiling.The amount of air in your lungs is actually concerning" I say to Toby and Andrew with a playful smile. Toby let's out this obnoxious laugh and then proceeds to dab me up. His hand reaching over to my back to give me a hard pat there. Bracing myself for impact , I steel myself for the burst of pain that exploded in my lower back. No.why did he have to do that today.As if his ''pats'' are not hard enough as is. Seriously sometimes I genuinely question how many brain cells he actually has because the way he seems to actualy treat me like a guy is disconcerting to say the least. At least Andrew seems to notice , the harsh dab I mean, and has the decency to tell him off . We walk to the end of the classroom ,sitting at the seats we've claimed since the beginning of the year.The desks are arranged in pairs of two .Andrew and Toby sit in the seats in front of me , while I sit at the very back. The bell rings and my favorite teacher Mme.Hurtubise walks in , ready for a day of learning YAY.The minutes tick by , yet I'm barely listening , mostly blocking her out. I fold my hands in my lap and seem to be unable to stop the constant tapping of my foot.I'm Glancing at the clock for what feels like the hundredth time today. Alys finally walks through the door ,slipping into the seat beside me . "What took you so long " I say in a harsh whisper Alys merely laughs. "Calm down,it's not like I'm going anywhere " She stays quiet for a second giving me that look that sees too much. I get the weird urge to fidget under her scrutiny but I suppress it. "Are you okay?" she asks I force myself to empty my face. "yes , I'm fine" I say with a little laugh. "Is it him again"she asks with concern " I'm fine I'm just tired"I whisper She must sense my discomfort because she quickly changes the subject and slides into one of her little rants and I couldn't be more happy .Thats why I love her so much she always sees a lot, but never pushes too hard. I lean back in my chair and let her words fill the silence between us. For now ,that's enough