Beauty Mask

It was windy, and she was scared of blood, else, she preferred the silent knife to the wrist way to go. Drowning she overheard was a painful experience and she was looking for the least painful way to end it all. Having her lungs filled with water, didn’t sound too good, all she could think of was the needle like sensation she would feel through the process. She could have opted to use the rope, but her body wasn’t in cooperation with most of her thoughts. She had once tried. She had tied the loop, got the perfect stool, all was set directly under her bedroom door, she had even put down the house surveillance cameras for the moment. She remembered climbing the stool and adorning her neck with the thick woven horse tail rope. Her hands were shaking all through the process, but she ignored it. Then came the time where she had to kick the stool off and let gravity do its work. Well, she kicked the stool off alright, but nothing happened. She was dangling but her breathing was stable. It was only after a few seconds her brain had registered; how strong her grip was on the rope. Few inches above where the knot had started, she had both hands holding on for dear life, which left the loop untouched. Pathetic…. She thought, while refusing to let go. She stayed like that for a few minutes, until her hands began shaking, this time as a sign that they were tired of holding all of her weight. The thought of having her hands fail her, was frightening. This was what she wanted so why was she scared? Maybe this was a bad idea, going out in such fashion… Finally, her hands gave out, but the loop still didn’t snatch her neck, instead her feet touched the floor. Door frame as well was tired of holding her weight for so long and had snapped. To say, the whole plan of hanging was trashed. Which brought the girl to her current situation where she stood. “I need to escape this pain.” Dang-geun was in her late teens, the time in life where making decisions became a messy war field. The view in front of her was beautiful, from her position, she could see most of Seoul’s sleek skyscrapers and some shopping malls, this was one of the rare days where you got to see the sunset through the polluted fog caused by the city’s industrial waste mismanagement. It wasn’t another bad way to go, falling from a great height to her end. So far, this was on of the highest spots in the school compound. But then again, the beautiful view was beginning to make her reconsider, perhaps she should just overdose herself with a bunch of sleeping pills and escape her pain. “You know, if you chose to jump, you’re likely to be lucky and faint half way through, or hit the ground and die slowly, or miraculously survive, deformed for life and a nuisance to society. I don’t think this is the best height. Starlight offers the best height, but getting in will be troublesome.” Someone had interrupted her sinful musings. Dang-geun turned around, expecting to find a teacher, giving her a look of disappointment, but instead, she found a student. It made her calmer, but worried, mostly from the new information. She was unsure if this was a friend or foe, perhaps a bully who was ready to push her down the building, like in the movies. “Yeah, I know.” She lied, and stepped down from the platform, “I was admiring the view, besides, overdosing on pills is the best option anyway.” Dang-geun bit her tongue, she may have revealed too much. The other girl hummed softly, “yeah, but you could be one of those cases, where your stomach gets pumped before you actually D-I-E... think of all the pain and suffering it will bring, mentally and physically.” “I’m not afraid of pain.” Another lie Dang-geun could see herself spewing out. Was the girl mocking her? “Yeah, reason why you came to enjoy the view at the edge of the building, and you’re opting to use pills. Very funny.” The girl speaking appeared calm. Dang-geun didn’t like people of her kind. They always had things under control. Her uniform was neat and smoothened, but two sizes large for her, although it didn’t look that bad. Her face…she was plane, only if you looked more than thrice. Her eyes told a bored tale and her lips looked too perfect to match them. “You don’t know me.” She had had enough chit-chat with this strange kid, she wanted to go home. A new plan had just struck her, she was going to use all her months allowance to buy some make up along with sleeping pills, paint her face pretty, record a video for her siblings and then gulp down the pills she had bought while lying down, in her nightdress in the tub. That looked like an epic aesthetic way to end her life. “You’re Dang-geun. And from class D." “Yeah? So what? I don’t know you, so leave me alone, please.” She wasn’t planning on waiting around after her reply. “Wait,” the girl jogged up to match Dang-geun’s pace as she was leaving, “maybe it’s time to rethink your decisions.” “Can you please leave me alone? You're annoying and an eye sore. " Dang-geun spoke, fasting her steps to get rid of the girl. “I can’t…” they were descending the stairs when they spotted a group of boys, “you’re most likely to run into them, and its best we go together.” She added quickly. The boys who called themselves the Banana g**g where seven kids who always stayed behind after closing hours to smoke and do other sneaky things. Dang-geun was wishing to die, but death by humiliation wasn’t on her list, she had overheard a bunch of ill-mannered news about the Banana boys in the girls bathroom and this was her first time meeting them after school in their g**g. There were no teachers around and she was scared. She stopped trying to shoo the other girl away and just kept her mouth shut while sticking close to her. Her breath ceased as soon as they approached the kids, four were sitting on the floor while two were on the window seal, and one standing. It was the one standing that grinned broadly when he saw the girls approaching. Dang-geun knew it was not a good sign. Unconsciously she held the other girl’s hand, silently grateful the other didn’t swat her hold away. “Hey Bae,” the tall boy standing called out and it only made Dang-geun wonder if the girl was his girlfriend, but the sneer on her face told otherwise. Bae chose to keep walking and ignore the boy’s call, but one sitting on the floor stretched forth his leg as an obstacle which Bae stumbled on. “Oi! Did you put a fence around your ears? Didn’t you hear the boss?” The boss, whose name was Kong waved off the one that yelled at Bae, also responsible for attempting to trip her. This time Bae and Dang-geun had fully stopped, not moving or talking back, Dang-geun had her eyes courting the floor. “Relax, Beo-seot, I’m sure her ears are probably plugged with zits,” Kong’s words, brought laughter to the boys, Bae said nothing and Dang-geun could only look at her, as if in sudden realization that the girl probably didn't have everything under control after all. “So, Bae-chu, tell us when will that farm on your face ripen?” another banana boy asked laughing at his joke. It made Dang-geun cringe at his choice of words. It was disgusting. Then she looked at Bae again, this time her eyes widening a little in recognition. The girl she was holding hands with was Bae-chu of her class. She had a feeling the girl looked familiar. “Please can you guys just let me be, just for once, please.” She added a double please to her words, but it seemed to provoke one of the boys, Po-do. “Jah! Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” Po-do yelled, jumping off the window seal, he had been sitting on. The boy was massive and bulky for his age, a frightening sight to the girls, except Bae who didn’t express any fear. “are you trying to boss us around?! Do you think-“ “Oi, i***t, shut up.” Kong words were cold enough to make the boy keep quiet abruptly. It was an order and he obeyed. Kong turned his attention to Bae, circling her, like vulture to a dead zebra. He found both girls linking hands, and with rough calloused palms, he forced their hands apart. “You, Dang-geun, that’s your name, right?” He muttered calmly, pushing her away from Bae. Said girl was too frozen scared to answer until an impatient Po-do yelled for her to do so, “weren’t you asked a question?!” She jumped and it caused the banana boys to laugh. “Yeah… I’m Dang-geun. That’s my name.” “I hear you’re good at dancing, eh?” Kong started a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. Dang-geun was too confused to respond. “Dance for us.” “What?” Dang-geun breathed out in disbelief. They weren’t serious, right? But they looked serious. The wicked grin on each boy’s face told they were serious.