Snow Black

    Peace. I feel at ease.      I’ve never felt this calm before. It’s almost as if my heart froze and my body laid in the softest mattress.      Where exactly am I?      Peonies, dahlias, carnations, daisies—a garden? I’ve never seen a garden this pretty.      Never have I seen such a well-maintained grand castle. It’s almost as if I flew into a fairy tale.      How did I get here?      More importantly…who was I again?      “Princess Selene,” a voice called from somewhere.      Selene? Who?      My lids fluttered but stayed slightly squinted after the sunlight slipped through my eyes when I angled my head. The familiar bright sky greeted me with prickling heat that managed to slip through the gaps between the trees’ leaves.      “Your highness, it’s time to prepare yourself.”      My eyes wandered around until I saw a maid leaning in towards me. Her hair is knotted back neatly in a bun, and she wore a typical somber black and white maid uniform.      “Maisie?” I quietly mumbled as I helped myself up while rubbing my eyes awake. Were my hands always this small?      “Yes, your highness. The others are already waiting to dress you up.”      Others, who? Did I call her by her name? But just now, I didn’t remember her.      Why do I…      “It’s my…birthday today?” I duly asked her.       “Why, of course!” she fisted her hands on her waists, seemingly disappointed that I had somehow forgotten, “You’ve been talking non-stop about wearing a gorgeous dress for days, your highness!”      Have I? I most certainly did.      I felt so strange ever since I woke up. It’s almost like my empty brain is being sated with information that wasn’t there every time I think about something—even feelings; I guess seeing how my heart jumped at the thought of a banquet.      I grinned and pulled Maisie over towards the castle. Is calling a child’s actions childish justifiable? Why do I feel so weird about getting giddy up over a party?      “Do you want me to tame these curls into a braid for you, your highness?” a maid asked while combing her fingers into my platinum white hair.      They all helped me into my red gown, whose design I picked from the catalog. The dress matched my ruby red eyes, and it made me feel more like a princess.      “No, thank you! I like it this way.”      They helped me down the high chair since I still couldn’t see myself in the mirror without sitting on one.      “That’s right! Our little princess is pretty in whatever she wears and in whatever hairstyle.”      I let out a giggle as their compliments echoed in the room.       “Well, I wouldn’t look this pretty if it weren’t for all of you.”      “Your highness, you look pretty because you take after his and her majesty,” Maisie gave me a warm smile as she knelt to smoothen my dress.      “Speaking of, they must’ve been already waiting for you, Princess Selene,” another maid exclaimed, “Look at the time! It’s almost sundown. Guests must be arriving by now.”      “I guess so,” I thoughtlessly mumbled.      From what I remember, the party will commence in the evening. My room is situated in the left annex of the castle, so it would take us minutes to get to the banquet hall where the party would be held.      Currently, we’ll be celebrating my fourth birthday. My memory is still a bit hazy that I couldn’t even remember the exact faces of my parents.       “Princess Selene,” a man in an elegant suit beside the entrance to the banquet greeted me, “May I do the honor of announcing your arrival?”      I smiled back, “If you may.”      Anyone could tell that guests had already filled the room, seeing that chatters and laughter could be heard outside despite talking in proper hushed tones.      Despite that, I don’t feel nervous. I am very much excited to greet them all!      “Announcing the arrival of her highness, Princess Selene Arabella Trumane.”      The noises inside slowly turned into silent whispers that gave of an atmosphere of anticipation.      “Your highness,” Maisie called from behind me, still holding my hands, “Happy birthday.”      All the maids that escorted me suppressed their joy in tight ear-to-ear smiles. Too bad they weren’t allowed to accompany me to the banquet. This day could’ve been perfect if they could enjoy the food with me—      “You’re here?” she scoffed and aggressively opened her fan to cover her face, “Ha! You shouldn’t have bothered.”      —or maybe I spoke too soon.      “Mother?” I confusingly asked as if I was confirming.      The people behind me seemed to bore holes behind my back as I stood in front of the two most influential people in the south. No matter how hard they try to listen, they wouldn’t hear our conversation, at least I hope so.      “You’re…you’re my mother, right?” I continued. I began to play with my fingers with a lowered head.      I don’t understand. From the moment I laid eyes on them, I knew they were my parents. I don’t remember much, but I wasn’t exactly aware that my parents were treating me like this. Were they always this indifferent?      Have I done something wrong that upset them? Or perhaps, is the banquet not to their liking?      Mother hissed behind her fan, too frustrated to even answer.      “This child…” she rasped through gritted teeth and began to lower her back onto the throne’s splat.      The hall was once again filled with music, and the guests went back on their conversations. Even though mother concealed her expressions well, father probably worried that the guests would still sense the ominous atmosphere around us, so he ushered the musicians to play a bit livelier.      “Selene,” my father turned towards me with a straight face. He looked just a bit older than mother. His clean face showed just a bit of wrinkle in an attempt to maintain composure. I saw him squeeze mother’s hand to calm her down.       “The food is served on that table. Help yourself and behave.”      Questions were swarming my mind, and I fought against the hard thumps in my chest that were getting worse by the second.      “Yes,” I curtsied and raised my head to look at them again, “Your majesties.”      I walked away immediately after. It’s a good thing that I was taught the basics of the kingdom’s etiquettes. Otherwise, they would’ve been more upset even though they have no right to be. Judging by how they treated me, I highly doubt they’d even hire me a tutor.      I still couldn’t grasp the situation. Thinking back at what happened made me lose my appetite, so I decided to go to the balcony instead.      “Princess Selene!”       A young couple approached me with bright expressions. They didn’t seem familiar to me, and so I just smiled back.      “We must’ve been strangers to you,” the lady added.      “Why, of course, darling,” the gentleman retorted her, causing them to giggle a bit before turning back to me, “We met when you were just a small baby.”      “Mhmm, and happy birthday dear.”       The couple ecstatically held my hands to greet me, making me feel like their little doll.       How I wish this were how my parents greeted me.      “Thank you…uhm,” I replied, trailing off since I still didn’t know who they were.      “Oh! I’m Marquess Neville, and my wife—”      “Lady Sienna, dear,” she interrupted. She seems to be a highly enthusiastic lady that unknowingly lifts my mood.       “I’m glad to be celebrating my birthday with you!”      We chatted a bit more, which I was thankful for since I don’t think any kids my age were invited. I could’ve been an outcast on my own birthday. How inconsiderate.      “Truthfully, we also have a daughter back home who’s as old as you,” the marquees chuckled at the thought of their child.      “It’s a shame we couldn’t bring her along,” the marchioness sighed, “she would’ve gotten along pretty well with you and your sister.”      I froze.      My…what?  And as if on cue, the doors to the hall opened along with an announcement that made my heart sink.          “The royal highness, Princess Gwyneira Loire Trumane.”          Just like when I entered, the hall went silent for a moment. In a second, the crowd filled the room with sighs and words of awe. The music transitioned into a harmony of mellow and ambient—but not for me.      A long straight hair—black as ebony,      Lips red as rose,      and skin white as snow.      My head didn’t hurt, but memories flooded me like an avalanche of snow down a steep hill.       This is all wrong. There must be a mistake!      “Your highness?” Lady Claudia confusingly called out to me as I dashed towards the ladies’ room.      I couldn’t do anything but crumple my little body down the corner of the room. I needed to think straight, but my mind wouldn’t listen.        Come to think of it, it was all strange that I couldn’t remember my name at first, nor who the people around me were. They were all like people whose faces I’d never seen before despite knowing who they were.       However, I’m not hallucinating. I do know them all!       How could I not, when they brought me joy when I needed it and gave me a world where the unpleasant boundaries that reality sets are defied.      “How…” I mumbled to myself,        “…how am I in a novel?”