Fatal Love

Chapter # 11

Observing Evzen’s words, I deeply hoped what I was thinking might be wrong because if that’s the case scenario, I won’t hold back unlike last time. I won’t repeat that mistake, the regret of it still haunts me in my dreams. I would never let it happen.  Trying to convince my heart that their presence was nothing but pure coincidence which was truly hard but I need a source of equanimity and the more I am trying to push my mind from it, the more it is poisoning my mind and making sense but how can something left behind a decade ago could dare to surface? I must be imagining things, this is affecting my mind and I am losing my senses in this ordeal. 

I was going to work, stopping at the Red signal, I leaned my head back, closing my eyes,  exhaling my distress, trying to let these thoughts out and focus on words but seemingly it was utterly difficult.

Irene noticed my look and asked, “Are you alright, Sir?” She asked. I opened my eyes and looked at her. “Hmm?” I hummed, motioning her to continue. 

“Are you alright? You seemed tense.” She said, scanning my form. Humming again, I rubbed my temples, “Irene…” I called her. “Yes, Sir?” 

“What would you do if your worst nightmare became reality?” I asked, turning my head to her. She gave me a bewildered look, raising a brow, trying to apprehend my words and demeanour of suffering but her expressions gradually converted to her usual ones and she let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Life is a cruller reality.” She replied after a prolonged silence, pushing me into the pits of chaos more. 

“But it can be a beautiful truth too, unlike your nightmares which are a constant way to horrify.” I retorted, narrowing my eyes at her in compassion for her point of view about life. “I believe the nightmare originates from reality.” She said, looking at me as well. 

There was no hint of waver on her face but I was stunned from inside. How can she, who was a whole life ahead of hers, be so weary of life? Collecting my thoughts, I replied, “So are dreams.” 

“Both of them are delusions.” She shrugged. “But what about the dreams you cherish in your heart?” I asked. “What if your heart is empty?” She counter questioned, leaving me speechless. This woman is unbelievable and this gaze of nothingness is enhancing her aura of abhorrence more. 

Rolling my eyes I looked away, “Just answer my question.” I mumbled. “Okay.” She nodded and cleared her throat. “I believe your nightmare is your dread for something which exists in reality so it wouldn’t be surprising if it vexed you for becoming what you are afraid it will be.” She gave a straightforward reply which increased my worry more because they were the words I was trying to avoid and threw them right at my face. Urgh, I shouldn’t have talked to this stone. I thought angrily and kept looking out without replying knowing her words are true and my biggest nightmare is chasing me rapidly.

“Even if they were buried long ago?” I asked after a while. “Yes. Ah, The signal is green.” She told me. Nodding, We drove off to my workplace. 

Today, for the first time, Irene stayed in the room the whole time because other days, I couldn’t bear her presence for more than two hours but now I know she is my path of guard so I must reside in her shelter if I want to keep breathing. 

Honestly, I am not afraid of dying but I am afraid to die ignorant of reality. I want to know the truth behind everything before taking my last breath, to know what my hypothesis is true or words of fright.

The following weekend, I called Esmei at my place. I was in the lounge. Everyone was in their room. All two rooms of my apartment were upstairs. A small hall leading to the kitchen and two stairs down to the lounge where Irene slept and now I am watching TV. 

Esmei came and sat beside me, looking around as I replied, “She is in the room.” 

“Then call her.” He shrugged. “Shut up, dude.” I frowned. “How can I when she is not here.” He smirked, leaning back. “Enough, Esmei. I need to talk to you about something important.” I scolded him. “Yeah, sure. What is it?” He asked, pouring himself some red wine. I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to tell him.

“Don’t tell me Uncle is arranging you in a marriage that you are thinking so much before telling me.” He joked, laughing and deepening my frown. I should have expected such ridiculous words from him. Scoffing, I rolled my eyes but then Irene came down while talking to Lucas. They were about to enter Kitchen, Esmei called, “Irene!”

“Enough, Esmei, Why are you after her anyways?” I asked in irritation but In a low tone so she might not hear. “Have you seen her dude? She is a thing I need to utilize at least once.” I made a repulsive face and rolled my eyes, not believing this playboy is my best friend. 

Stopping, Irene motioned Lucas to do something and walked to us. She wasn’t in her uniform today, just in a casual shirt and her trousers, knowing I am home and if I wanted to leave, she would be ready. 

“You looked great in every form.” He winked. “Thank you, can I ask why you called me?” She asked coldly with her hands at her back. “Well, I wanna ask when you are not with your Boss? What if something happens?” He asked, licking his lips along with the dark smirk, not leaving him. 

“First, He is my boss and has no issues with it.

Second, He is not living on the streets, places like these have maximum security.

And Lastly, If something happens, we are two steps away.” She replied, leaving Esmei taken aback while I smirked invisibly, somehow proud for the first time at her lifeless affectation. 

But Esmei is not one of those who will give up so he said, “What if something happened in those two steps?” He asked. “Then I believe my range of guns is good enough to provide protection.” She replied blankly and he was literally at loss with no words to argue more. 

“Leave him Irene, you can go.” I motioned her to leave. She bowed a little and walked away with her blank stare. After she left, I turned to Esmei, “Dude what is this woman, are you sure it’s a human?” He mused, still watching her. I laughed a little, “It took me a life-threatening experience to develop the habit to get used to her.” I said, turning to the TV. He finished his wine and turned to me, “It must be hard for you.” 

“Ah, leave it. I wanted to talk to you about something.” I said, turning off the TV and giving him my full attention. “Hmm? What is it?” he asked, putting his phone down and turning to me.

“I… talked to… Evzen.” I took a pause to see his reaction. His eyes widened in shock, not expecting me to do this. “What!?” He whisper-yelled. With a gulp, I nodded. “You know the people who attacked me… They were the witness of the case… that case.” I told him and to say he was shocked would be an understatement. 

“What are you saying? How can they pop up after a decade? Why didn’t you tell me before?... Do you think…” He trailed off, his amusement faltering as fear mixed with misery dwells on his face. “I am not sure. Evzen… he told me not to worry but… there’s some uneasiness in my heart. He also said that you might also become the target.” I told him about the talk I had with Evzen and he was, to the extent of his astonishment, trying to make the depth of my words in his mind. 

“This can’t be it, Damien, Lennox Hyles had no connections with that. And all victims are businessmen and I am an actor.” He reasoned, looking around trying to find an excuse for the denial but there was no way. 

“Could it be.. The letter M-” Esmei gave me a glare which dared me to complete my sentence, “Don’t you f*****g dare to complete his sentence Damien.” He scowled. “We cannot overlook this.” I muttered, looking away, curling my hands in a fist to contain my overwhelming heartbreak inside me but to no avail the harsh reality is striking me. 

“This matter should never be raised ever again. That’s what we all agreed on.” He said sternly. “I know but we don’t know for sure.” I argued. “No matter what, don’t you dare to dig into this matter.” He threatened.

“I am not but what will you do if it’s actually true?” I asked. “Nothing left after the incident, you better take it out of your mind.” I can’t. I could never disregard the horrendous night of my life. I thought sadly and remained silent.

“Anyways, I will do something about myself. And you better take these thoughts out from your f*****g mind.” He snarled, getting up and leaving me alone in my miserable thoughts which are suffering my soul in incomprehensible ravage….