Nothing Between Us

I Stop Writing in my Dairy

Goodbye Dairy,

I am no longer a child who writes in their diary about boys and love. I am not worried about what others think of me anymore. My focus is on myself and my education. I need to prepare for my future by studying hard and achieving academic success. It's time to say goodbye to the little hands and feet that I see every day, goodbye to the little brains and shoulders that I feel every day, and goodbye to the little arms and legs that I carry every day. I am grateful for everything, and I thank you.

I said goodbye to you, but it seems I came running back to the little girl I wanted to hold and treasure. Her eyes are filled with lights that twinkle like diamonds in the sky. Her nose, which others tell her is too big for her face, gives her a unique charm that I find endearing. Her lips may be dry, but when she licks them they look glossy and hide the cracks. I am always drawn to them, always hoping I can get a taste, even though I know it's just an imagination in my mind. Her ears gleam a bright yellow shine whenever someone speaks to her. She chooses every word carefully, as if she's walking on eggshells, and that's why I'm here to protect her. Even when she blocks me away with her lovely hair, I still touch it slightly, feeling its soft and tangling texture, knowing it was only me who she said "hi" to. Her tiny body moves a thousand miles to show everyone how lovely she is.

it was all lies though. i couldn't write in that diary anymore. every paper turned and the writer wrote what she wanted. she still couldn't get the words out. she thought someone would find it and tell her nothing but with a face of pain and disgust. she continues to write inside her head, filled with rocks, water, and sand, hoping it would create an ocean instead of a flood or something worse. thank goodness it was nothing less than that. the blueness flows back and forth, the coldness touching my feet and swinging its hands at me. i felt the pleasure of taking a swim, but I turned and saw her waving at me. i thought she told me to go back to her, but she was saying something, and i couldn't hear her.

As days passed by, I lost touch with him. I began to date and talk to boys when I was just 14 years old. During my middle school days, I was talking to a boy named Dylan who was a year older than me. He was tall, always had a goofy, smiley face, and was a kind and sincere person. To cut a long story short, before I met him, he had a liking for my auntie, who is the same age as me. And when we started talking, he started liking my best friend, and they ended up dating. I spoke to him about it and told him that it was okay since I knew he liked my friend. It didn't bother me much, so I just let it go and started liking John and Pax instead. Since we all went to the same school, there were a bunch of girls who also liked them, which caused a lot of drama. I was also a part of it, and I couldn't believe it. Was it worth it? Honestly, I wouldn't know, because I do not care anymore.

Fast-forward, they started dating at middle school but broke off at the end of summer! Because of him again, not just him but me too, but not just me but that dude!

Kiara, heading out now!