Nothing Between Us

So Long Ago Dairy

Dear Kiara,

I don't like him anymore. I like two other boys at school - John and Pax. They are both handsome and cool! However, many other girls also like them because they are both very popular. John is a hot-headed guy, while Pax is more calm and quiet. I like both of them, but I probably like Pax more.

Anyway, please don't tease me about this anymore, okay? Goodbye!

Every summer, I get to see Milo because he lives a couple of states away from me. Where there is snow pure as white shining on him. With fairy lights coming down from the gloomy sky. Crying with tears that melt from the heat of leaving its state for another. Well, that is how I see it every time my eyes follow his steps. All the cousins love him! I too, but in a different way that shouldn't be shown. We don't talk as much. The reason is that I'm scared my feelings will show and everyone will freak out because these feelings are not normal. I continue to swallow it all. All behind the back of my throat and everything else I had in line. I just had to keep hiding and hoping no one would find me. But he always found me in the darkness where I had placed myself. His bright smile was like the sun, wishing everyone the happiness he could bring. His playfulness with the kids and his gentle care with his big hands. The way he speaks softly and gently with every word he carries is like he is holding an infant in his hands. He carefully laces his eyes on important details, as if he were taking notes on the things he needed to know about me. At times, I would gently look at him with the eyes of wishing he would see the real me. Hoping he could discredit every inch of my thoughts. Hoping I could keep it all to myself. Even though I would slowly flirt with him. Hoping he would turn a blind eye. Oh yeah, he did! But it only worsened things because he would continue to ensure nothing was noticed.

After all, it was only for that summer and the next. I couldn't remember when he and Beatrice had stopped. My mind was occupied with thoughts of him throughout the summer, but once I went back to school, I tried to forget him and hoped to find someone else. I found myself drawn to two stars in the sky whom I had never spoken to or touched. These two stars seemed to look blindly in every direction, at anyone and everything. I simply admired them, but at the time, I didn't fully comprehend the significance of my fascination with them.

Every summer, I see the new you!

Kiara, are you blind?