ALPHABET

01

"Mama" bati ko kay Mama pagpasok sa bahay. Sinalubong ko siya habang hawak ang Lauran an binili niya for me last time.

"Hello, sweetheart. Did you miss me?" she asked the moment she enter our house.

I tilted my head a little and stare at her.

"Miss? What's that?" I asked back since it was the first time I heard of that word.

The arc on her lips faded. Pumantay siya ng tayo sa akin at pinatong ang palad sa ulo ko while patting me.

"It's a feeling that you feel when you saw someone after a long time" she explained to me.

"Oh! Then, I think I miss you, Mama!" I exclaimed. "By the way, Mama. What is emotion?" I asked out of nowhere.

Natigilan siya bago tumayo at inalalayan ako papunta sa couch.

"Listen, sweetheart, emotion is what you feel. Like, in love, happy, sad, angry, and a lot more" Mama explained again.

"Then what is facial expressions? You know, Mama, my classmates has been telling me that I am weird. I asked them why, they said it was because I don't have a facial expression or emotions. Am I really weird, Mama?" I added.

My mom stare at me. Inhabit niya ang bag na dala at may kinuha doon. It's like a paper? Or a chart?

"What's that?" tanong ko sa kanya.

She opened it and showed me what was written in it. It was full of weird faces. They have the same looks, but something is different. One has an expression the same as what Mama always have, the other has his mouth wide opened and so on.

"Son, this is what you call facial expressions, and each of them even shows a person's emotion. For example, this one here, this is a happy face. A smiling one. Can you try smiling for me, sweetie?" Mama said.

Although I don't kinda get it, I tried my best to copy the smiling face she said.

"Very good, baby. Then from now on, you should try practicing these faces everyday, okay? When you learn one, show it to me first. Alright?" she asked and showed me a smiling face. She looks pretty.

I nodded and smiled back at him. Nilagay in Mama sa room ko wall ng room ko ang chart. She said I should try doing it when I wake up.

After that incident, my mom seems to have some deep thoughts. I don't know why, tho.

Meron pa na habang nag gagayat siya ng carrots, nahiwa yung daliri niya kase nakatulala lang siya sa kawalan. A lot of blood came out from her finger.

"Mama, you're bleeding" I said.

"Oh. Sweetie, you stay outside" she answered.

Imbis na sumunod, nanatili akong nakatayo habang nakatitig sa daliri niya na dumudugo pa din.

Maybe she noticed me staring at the blood so she hide her hand behind her back. Pagtingin ko kay Mama, she was looking at me with something different in her eyes.

Why?

"Mama? Why?" I asked.

She flinched.

"Oh. N-n-nothing, love. You should play outside muna. Magluluto si Mama ng yummy foods" she said and turn her back.

Although I'm curious about why she acted like that, lumabas nalang ako ng kusina.

Nadaanan ko ang malaking salamin na nasa wall. I stopped walking sa mismong tapat non.

"Huh?"

I saw my reflection smiling weirdly at me. I got scared and run outside.

Naglaro lang ako sa labas ng bahay, I saw how other kids play outside too with each other.

"Hoy!! Weirdo, sali ka sa amin!" a kid invited.

"Huh? Sige" sagot ko.

Tumayo ako at sumali sa kanila. They were pkaying dolls and cars.

"Ito ang sa'yo. Mr. Summer and a car. " sabi naman ng isa pang bata, I think she said her name is Tina.

"Oh. Paano ko sila lalaruin?" I asked curiously

"Huh? Syempre ikaw ang bahala dun" ani naman ni Lucas.

"Okay" I answered.

I watched how they play, but it feels boring. Something's missing.

Hmmm.

Tiningnan ko ang laruan na hawak ko, Mr. Summer and a car.

Sinubukan kong laruin ang sasakyan, pinapaandar ko iyon gamit ang kanan kong kamay, at nasa kaliwa naman si Mr. Summer.

I placed the doll in front of the car and... boom!

He got hit!!

"Ah!! Why did you hit Mr. Summer?!" Tina yelled. "Hey!! Look!! Weirdo hit Mr. Summerr!! Mr. Summer is dead!!"

I stopped playing and look at the kids na nakapalibot sa akin.

"Why? Is that not how it's supposed to be?" I asked.

"Of course!! You're weird! I don't want to play with you anymore!" Tina said.

I drop the toys and stand up.

Nginitian ko sila at natigilan naman silang lahat.

"Sabi niyo ako ang bahala kung paano ko lalaruin ang toys. But when I decided to play it my way, you guys started getting mad" ani ko. "Now who's the weird kid between us?"

"Sweetie! Come home now!"

They didn't get a chance to answer me because Mama called. Tumalikod na ako at dumiretso papunta sa bahay.

"Anong nangyari?" Mama asked.

"They asked me to play with them and gave me Mr. Summer and a toy car to play with. I asked them how to do I play with those toys and told me na I can play it however I want. So I watched how they play and it was boring so I played the toys my own way. I hit Mr. Summer with a car and he died" I explained.

Napatigil naman si Mama sa pagsubo ng pagkain at napatitig sa akin.

"Hmm. Don't play with them anymore" sagot niya at nagpatuloy na.

Months passed and it was my 5th birthday.

"Happy Birthday, anak!!" bati ni Mama. Hawak niya ang isang malaking gift at ibinaba niya iyon sa lamesa.

"What's this?" tanong ko.

"Go. Open it" aniya.

Binuksan ko ng dahan dahan ang box.

"Oh. It's a cat" I said.

It was a white cat with fluffy hair and blue eyes. The cat is big. It's cute.

"It's pretty, Mama. Thank you!" I said.

"Welcome, Sweetie. Do you want to name it?" tanong niya.

"Hmm. Sure" I said.

"Anong ipapangalan mo sa kanya?" tanong niya.

"Connie? Sasha? Jean? Oh! Shamie!" ani ko.

"Shamie? That's a beautiful name!" she said.

"Yeah, like the cat." I said.

I played with Shamie everyday. I bathe her. And taught her different things. I taught her how to play with toys and dolls without getting bored.

As days goes by, Shamie is getting more heavy but squishy. She's like a human pillow, a ball of cotton!! Soft and white!

Then one day, Mama left to buy groceries. I was alone at home because I am not allowed to go outside when she is not here. But since I have Shamie with me, I guess I really am not alone. That was when I decided to play doctor with her.

"Shamie, what do you think is inside your body that made you this soft?" I asked her when we were playing in my room . "Let's play doctor, you will be the patient"

"Meow"

"Hmmm. Are you game? Since I wanna know why you're that soft, I bet you wanna know too. You're curious too, aren't?" I asked again. "Should we do an operation like what we saw on YouTube with Mama?"

"Meooww"

"Okay! We will take a look. Don't worry, I'll stitch you again after we look inside" I said while smiling.

I can feel my heart beating fast like it's about to go out of my chest. My lips are about to get ripped off because I can't control my smile.

What would be inside her? Why is she so soft? I'm really curious.

Tumayo ako at kinuha ang kutsilyo sa kusina. Buti nalang Mama is not here.

Pumasok ulit ako sa kwarto at ibinaba si Shamie sa sahig where she lay down.

"Okay, Shamie. Be a good girl and listen okay?" I said.

Nanatiling nakahiga si Shamie sa sahig habang ako naman ay nag iisip kung paano ang gagawin kong pag-open sa kanya. I decided to stab her. However, it was so different from what I saw on YouTube where the patient didn't move even if the doctor was making hiwa his tummy. I hold the knife again with my both hands bago ko iyon itaas para bigyan ng pwersa ang gagawin ko. And I stabbed Shamie multiple times on her tummy.

"Shamieee~ I'm so excited! You're excited too, right? Right, Shamie?" I said as I continued on stabbing my cat until she's not making any sound or movement anymore.

Dahil sa dami ng tama ng kutsilyo, nagkusang bumukas na ang katawan ni Shamie. Pero I wasn't satisfied with it so I decided to get my scissors that is above my study table. I cut her stomach until it was ripped open.

Ramdam ko pa din ang t***k ng puso ko at ang pagkawala ng ngiti sa labi ko after makita ang laman ng alaga.

"Huh?" ani ko. "There's no cotton here nor any soft things, Shamie. There are only these weird things. They soft too but it's not like cotton" I said habang kinukuha ko ang mga laman na nandoon sa body ni Shamie.

"Shamie?" I called.

"Hey, Shamie" I repeated but she wasn't waking up.

"Oh. Are you sleeping? Okay. Then sleep well. I'll stitch you back after I check your insides more" I stated and continued checking her insides.

Inalis ko lahat ng laman sa loob ni Shamie at ibinaba sa sahig pero wala pa din akong nakitang kahit anong soft aside from the weird looking things.

I sighed out of disbelief after I saw everything.

Tumayo na ako and I was about to get the needle and thread to fix Shamie but the door of my room opened.

"Surpri--- SWEETHEART!!" Mama shouted.

Tiningnan niya ako ng may pag aalala at akmang lalapit na sa akin, pero napatigil dahil sa nakita sa likod ko.

"T-t-the... cat. S-s-shamie... Love? W-w-ehat happened here?" aniya habang nauutal pa.

"Oh. Shamie was so soft so we played doctor. Shamie is my patient, I did an operation because I got curious if there's a lots of cottons inside her so I opened her up. I asked her permission tho. I was just about to fix her, Mama. Good thing you're back. Do you think you can fix, Shamie?"