The Downfall of a Temptress

Chapter 5

Pagkababa ko ng kotse, randam ko agad ang bigat ng gabi. Tahimik ang paligid pero hindi nakakagaan ng aking loob. Mas lalong nakakatakot ang katahimikan dahil alam ko na ang susunod. Minsan ayoko ng umuwi dito.

Pagkapasok ko ng bahay, hindi na ko nag abala na gumawa ng ingay sa pagyapak ko sa marmol na sahig. Wala rin naman saysay, malalaman din naman niya.

Lagi.

Inalis ko ang suot kong sapatos dahil sumasakit na iyon sa sobrang tagal kong nakatayo sa gallery. Barefoot akong umakyat ng ilang hakbang sa hagdan, pero hindi pa ako nakakarating sa landing nang marinig ko ang boses niya sa katahimikan ng mansion.

"How did it go?"

Tumigil ako sa paghakbang.

Si Daddy.

Nasa gilid siya ng living room, hawak ang isang baso ng whiskey, suot ang paborito niyang roba na parang hari sa sariling kaharian.

"Late ka," dagdag niya sa kalmadong boses pero may talim. "At bigo."

Huminga ako ng malalim. "Hindi ako nakakuha ng chance kausapin siya. Masyado siyang guarded. Sobrang daming tao–"

He raised a hand to cut me off. "Stop."

Napatahimik ako. Kinabahan.

"I already know everything. Hindi ka makakapag sinungaling sa akin."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Paano–?"

"I have people, Aria. Did you really think I'd let you loose sa gallery ng target natin without someone watching you?"

Nanlamig ang batok ko.

I swallowed. "So you don't trust me?"

He chuckled softly. "Trust? That's not the word I'd use. Let say... I expect you to perform it properly. Whether you like it or not."

Tumingin siya sa akin ng deretso. "But tonight, you failed."

Hinawakan ko ang balustre ng hagdan para hindi ako matumba sa bigat ng aking kaba.

"Hindi siya katulad nila," bulong ko. "Hindi siya madaling kausapin, hind siya interesado sa babae lalo na sa kagaya ko."

"Exactly." tumayo siya. "Kaya kailangan mo siyang pagtuunan because if Soren Santierra is that hard to move, imagine what kind of power he holds if he says yes."

"Dad," diin ko. "What if he never does?"

Lumapit siya sa akin, dahan dahan. Tumigil siya sa unang baitang ng hagdan. Mas mababa siya kesa sa akin ngayon pero ramdam ko pa rin ang kapangyarihan niya. Kasing bigat ng tingin niya sa akin ngayon.

"Then you make him."

"I tried."

"You flirted," he coldly corrected. "But you didn't commit."

Napalunok ako ng laway. Ano pa bang gusto niyang gawin ko? Luhuran si Soren para makuha ko ang atensyon niya?

"I shouldn't have to commit like that," mahinang sabi ko. "Hindi pa ako–"

He laughed, loud this time. "Oh please, Aria. You still believe that crap matters?"

"I do," mahina pero buo kong sagot. "Wala pa ni isa sa kanila ang nakakuha sa akin. Kahit kailan and you know that."

"Yes," he said, stepping up one stair, now just inches below me. "And you're still there. Desperate, empty and useless."

"Because I still want to protect what little I have left. I promise that to Mom." my voice cracked. "I'm trying, Daddy."

He took another step up, now eye level with me.

"Try harder."

I stared at him. "At anong kapalit? Katawan ko? Kaluluwa ko? 'Yung natitirang respeto ko sa sarili ko?"

"Kaluluwa?" napangisi siya. "You lost that the first time you kissed a man for a deal."

Napalunok ako. My nails dug into the bannister. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit ko ginawa iyon tapos ito ang sasabihin niya sa akin?

"I did that to save Bella. At ikaw ang nagpagawa sa akin nyan Dad."

"And now you'll do more," he said, calmly, "To keep saving her. Hindi ba 'yan ang gusto mo?"

"Hindi ko pwedeng ibigay lahat, Daddy. Hindi pa ako handa–"

"You don't get to say no," he snapped. His calm broke for a split second. "You're not a child anymore. You're the product of your choices, just like me."

Mali ka, Dad. Hindi tayo magkatulad. Sa loob loob ko.

Natahimik ako. Hindi rin naman niya ako papakinggan. Kelan ba siya nakinig sa mga gusto at ayaw ko?

Then he leaned forward, low voice but lethal.

"Kung gusto mong mabuhay ang kapatid mo at kung gusto mong makarating siya sa next treatment niya, then stop whinning and do what I ask."

"Even if it destroys me?" nanginginig ang labi kong tanong. Nasasaktan.

He tilted his head, amused.

"Some things are worth destroying for the right price."

Ngayon ko napatunayan kung gaanong kawalang puso ang aking ama. Hindi niya kami itinuring na anak. Kaya siguro nag suicide si Mommy dahil hindi na nakayanan ang ugali at pag mamanipula ni daddy sa kanya. Wala rin siyang pakialam kay Bella kung mamatay ito sa hospital. Wala siyang pakialam sa amin.

SOBRANG bigat ng dibdib ko nang umalis ako sa bahay. Ayokong umiyak. Ayokong marinig na naman sa loob ng utak ko ang boses ni Daddy, ang banta niya, ang mukha niyang walang puso habang binabanggit ang pangalan ng kapatid ko na parang panabla lang sa poker table.

So I did what I knew how to do best. I escaped.

I drove fast. Wala akong pakialam kung saan ako patungo. Basta malayo kay Daddy. Gusto ko ng maingay para hindi ko maisip ang mga gumugulo sa aking utak. Gusto kong makalimot kahit pansamantala lang.

Sa tagal kong nagdadrive finally I fount it.

A club. With a neon lights, thundering bass, strangers grinding like they forgot the world owed them pain.

Perfect for me huh?

Pagpasok ko, all eyes flicked to me.

Of course. I wasn't exactly suble tonight.

I wore a satin wine red slip dress, it's bareback, plunging front, and a slit so high it whispered secrets with every step. My heels were sharp enough to kill. My lips were red blood, and my eyes? It's darker than the tequila I ordered at the bar.

Uminom ako ng walang humpay. Today, I'm not Lysandra Aria de alba. I'm a nobody! Walang dapat sundin na utos!

And when I hit the dance floor. I let go all my thoughts. Wala akong inaksayang sandali. Sumayaw ako, not minding all the people around me.

Hindi naman nila ako kilala sa loob loob ko.

I moved like I wasn't holding anything back. Like I didn't have a dying sister, like I didn't just get threatened by my own father to seduce a man I feared, and like I wasn't slowly losing myself to this game.

Sweat clung to my skin, made the silk of my dress stick to my lower back, down to the curve of my hips. My hair stuck to my neck but I didn't care.

Pumikit ako, dinama ko lang ang indayog ng musika.

Let them stare. Let them talk.

I just needed to feel nothing. Just this one.

But of course...the world won't let me forget who I am.

"Hey baby," said a voice behind me, thick with liquor and entitlement. "You alone tonight?"

I didn't even turn around. I just kept dancing. Kinakausap niya ako pero hindi ko siya binibigyang pansin.

Sa sobra siguro niyang inis sa kawalang paki ko sa presensya niya.

He grabbed my waist.

Bad idea. Wala ako sa mood makipaglandian.

"Get off me," I hissed.

He laughed, still holding on. "Come on, don't play hard to get. We both know what you came here for."

My heart jumped not from fear but from rage. Lahat ba ng tao ay dinidiktahan ako sa mga dapat kong gawin at maramdaman? Hindi niya ako kilala personally and yet? Sasabihin niya sa akin kung anong purpose ko sa pagpunta sa club? Hanggang dito ba naman?

"Let go," I warned again.

But he didn't listen. I was about to turn and elbow the bastard when suddenly...

"She said no."

That voice. Low, cold, and familiar.

I froze.

The man looked behind me and scoffed. "Who the hell are you?"

"The last person you want to f**k with."

And there he was.

Soren Aldric Santierra.

Standing at the edge of the dance floor like he didn't belong here but commanding attention anyway. Black dress shirt, sleeves rolled, buttons undone just enough to show skin. No tie, no effort. His dark slacks fit him like they were tailored in hell. Makakagawa ka ng kasalanan kahit tignan mo lang siya.

But his face? His annoyed, gorgeous and untouchable.

Like a fallen angel who just walked into the wrong party and saw me dancing with demons.

Buti na lang hindi ako napanganga ng makita ang itsura niya. Baka mapahiya lalo ako.

"You're serious?" the drunk guy sneered. "This guy?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

Soren stepped forward, slow and dangerous.

The man let go of me instantly. Cowards always smell real power and authority.

Gusto kong mapa-iling.

Soren didn't look at me as he passed. He just stared the other guy down until he vanished into the crowed. The moment he was gone, he turned his gaze on me.

Ang kanyang expression ay matalim, malamig at may inis. Naghalo halo ang tatlong emosyon na iyon sa kanya.

Binago ko ang gulat kong ekspresyon. Gulat na nandito siya sa club kung nasaan ako.

"You really don't get tired of inviting danger, do you?"

I blinked, breathless. "Are you following me now?"

"No," he said. "But maybe I should start."

I hated that my pulse jumped at that.

Oh please, Aria! Wag mo sabihin na malandi ka nga?

I crossed my arms, ignoring the way sweat still clung to my collarbone. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same." He scanned me from head to toe. Not with lust but with disgust wrapped in worry. "You're drunk."

"No, I'm not drunk." I replied. "I'm free"

He scoffed. "Is that what you call it?" nagtataka sa kinikilos ko.

He stepped closer. His scent hit my nose. Sandalwood, clean linen, and fury. Muntik na kong mapapikit sa amoy niya buti naagapan ko.

Lasing na nga siguro ako.

"You think this is freedom?" he said, voice low so only I could hear. "Dancing till men touch you? Drinking till you forget your name?"

"Yes," I whispered. "Because forgetting is better than remembering."

We stared at each other for long, charged moment. I don't know what he saw me in my eyes but for the first time, I saw something in his.

A crack, a pause and a question look.

He looked away first.

"Go home, Aria."

"I don't have one," I said, almost a whisper, truth bleeding out before I could stop it.

Bakit ko ba sinasabi ito sa kanya? Hindi rin naman niya ako maiintindihan.

He turned his back to me. "Then find somewhere else. You don't have to destroy yourself just to feel alive." and with that, Soren Santierra walked away from me again.

But this time, he looked back.

Hindi ko na lang binigyan pa ng ibang meaning ang huling tingin niya sa akin bago mawala siya sa dagat ng mga tao. Itinuloy ko na lang ang pag inom ko at pagsasayaw na walang humpay.

For once, ayokong may nagdidikta kung anong gusto at ayaw kong gawin sa buhay ko.