I Want To Love You

Chin Up

My next two classes were uneventful. Second period was Geometry which I know I'll hate, I'm absolutely terrible at math! Third period was Veterinary Science which I'm actually VERY excited about! I love all things animals. And the best part is that the teacher actually has pets in the classroom. There are several different breeds of snakes, a hamster and some turtles. The teacher also informed us that he has a small farm and will be bringing in a baby pig and a baby goat at some point during the school year. I honestly can't wait!

But after the excitement of third period here I sit at the end of one of my other favorite subjects, English, my fourth class period of the day. And it just so happens that Jazlynne has this class with me as well. We were both pretty excited to see eachother and immediately sat next to one another. This friend thing is really coming in handy, especially since now I won't have to struggle to find a partner for projects in this class.

The bell rings and Jazlynne and I gather up our things and head to lunch. It's the first time since I moved to this school that I don't have to walk around campus alone. And to be honest it's the first time I actually notice other students, I usually try to be invisible and my eyes are cast downward as I navigate through the school. But now that Jazlynne is next to me I not only feel like I have to keep my head up since it'd be kind of rude if I didn't, but I also feel confident enough to look around. I never wanted to look at other people because I was afraid I'd see what they thought of me reflected in their eyes. Would they think I was a loser for having to walk around alone "look at her! she's so lame she doesn't even have friends to walk with between classes" their eyes might say. And there was no way I could handle seeing that, so my head and eyes were cast downward at all times. But now that I had Jazlynne next to me, their opinions held less value. So I kept my chin up, looked around, and realized most of these people couldn't care less about me. Eye contact was hardly even made. 'What's wrong with me? Why do I overthink everything?'

We get to the front of the lunch line and start picking our food. The school actually has really yummy options like nachos and baked potatoes, both smothered in delicious toppings. They even have a fresh sub sandwich line! But if you don't run from your class all the way to that lunch building then you definitely don't have a chance at getting through the line before lunch is over. And let me just say, there are few things that I wouldn't do for good food, but running is definitely one of them. So we're in the line where you get food like greasy little squares of pizza and a cookie. But today is rib sandwich day, and I love rib sandwich day! They're not real ribs... it's actually just a hamburger patty shaped like a rack of ribs and smothered in bbq sauce. So nothing special, but it's one of the better options.

We start walking towards the quad area to find a spot to sit when Jazlynne turns to me

" So I met this girl in my second period and she seems really sweet! I invited her to eat with us too." She says with a bright sea green smile.

"Okay! Sounds good. Did you get her phone number that way we can tell her where were sitting? Once we find a spot that is."

"Yeah I did. I told her I'd text her"

"Cool! How's this spot?" I ask her.

In front of us is this short concrete wall that acts as the barrier for a ramp that leads to several classrooms and the girls restroom. It was the perfect height to sit on without having to hop up, since we were so tall.

"Looks good to me! I'll Text Sadie and let her know." She says.

If Jazlynne and I look like sisters then Sadie Gerardo looks like our cousin. I watch her as she walks up to Jazlynne. She has long beautiful wavy hair. It's brown but not a rich red brown like mine, or golden brown like Jazlynne's but rather it's very own type of brown. It looks soft. And so do her eyes. The softest, kindest deep brown eyes that make her look like she couldn't have a bad thought in her mind even if she tried. Her face is round and she has adorable chubby cheeks. Although she's taller than most girls in school she is still shorter than Jazlynne and I. My observation is interrupted when she turns to greet me.

" Hi Marilyn! It's really nice to meet you. Jazlynne told me that the requirements to sit with you are to be taller than average. Hopefully I qualify" She says with a soft laugh.

I bring my hand to my chin and stroke an imaginary beard as I pretend to think hard on the matter "Hmmmmm... I'll allow it!" I say.

The three of us break out in laughter.

The rest of our lunch goes by mainly spent joking and getting to know eachother. I like these girls! They're sarcastic and that's my favorite kind of humor. I learn that Sadie lives right across the street from the school, which is just awesome. Jazlynne on the other hand lives in the same direction as me but luckily for her she doesn't have to walk home, which was a bit disappointing. Looks like I still have to walk home alone. For a short while the three of us focus on eating our food that had spent a large portion of the lunch period going untouched. I take that moment to enjoy my new found freedom to people watch. Jazlynne and Sadie's company, for some reason, gives me the confidence to observe my surroundings.

Since our school has two lunch periods, half the school is in class while the other half is at lunch. The half that are in class have to switch periods part way through second lunch. So I watch as students walk from one side of the school to the other, making their way to their fourth period classes.

I glance toward the English building that we left before lunch and almost choke on the food in my mouth. "Oh my God it's him!"

"It's who?" I hear Jazlynne and Sadie ask.

I didn't even realize that I said what I did out loud but I can't answer their question now. My mind has already drifted back, to about one month ago, on that hot summer day outside the laundromat where I first saw his beautiful face.