UNTIL DAYLIGHT

16

16.

You are the promise that

I do not do

but read between the lines ..

"I understand that I really like you, Mirko. I was a fool for rejecting you all this time .." Milla was sitting on the passenger side of my panda.

I let my chest take a deep breath, then let it go before speaking. Although, to be honest, I was left speechless.

What drove her to this?

"I understand that you are wondering how I noticed it. Or, at least, how I understood it .." A half smile surrounded her plump lips. It was raining that evening, and we had the windows up. Her was all closed, mine only halfway up the end.

I looked at the void in front of me. To the rain beating on the glass of the car.

"I don't want her to be a fake of your usual ones, Milla. Only because lately we are not the same as before .." I said, getting to the point. It was the only way to know whether to believe her or not.

I was there, with the girl I wanted to have from the first time I saw her, and now I was no longer convinced. She no longer gave me those feelings of security that I thought I had ..

"I would like to understand what she has distanced you from me, to be honest .." She didn't ask me, she let her tone of voice be questioning, or exclamation. It was up to me to respond to intuition in that sentence of hers.

"I met another girl .." I said softly, almost hoping he wouldn't hear. Maybe, it wasn't even the way, nor the time, to tell him.

There was a dead silence in that car. The noise of our words was replaced by that of rain, and by that of our thoughts. What we wanted to say, and what we didn't even want to think.

“Do you like it?” She asked after a while.

I simply nodded, with my hands resting on the steering wheel, and my eyes downcast.

"And do you feel anything for her? Something like you feel for me?" He continued.

"I can't answer that, Milla .." I said sincerely.

She had managed to get my back against the wall.

And again that silence. Still to fill that passenger compartment, which seemed too narrow to me. I felt suffocated.

I looked at Milla, she looked at me.

"I love you, Milla .." I murmured. But I was confused. I was confused and had taken the step longer than my leg.

Her eyes lit up, and a broad smile formed on her face, which had been sad before. She flung herself into my arms, slamming against the gearbox, and she hugged me. Shortly thereafter she began to fill my face with kisses to her lips. I let her.

I sighed and closed my eyes, my mind was a mix of non-positive emotions, emotions that would go against me. I would never see Alessia again, and maybe even things with Mario would have settled down after this choice of mine ..

***

"Come on love! Hit it!" Milla was out of the review used for that meeting. She was there with Mario, and Andrea had also come to see me.

It had been three days since that evening with her, and I hadn't even had the courage to write to her. I hadn't seen her around again, and it was better that way.

"Mirko, watch out!" This time it was Giorgio who screamed, my coach.

I fell to the ground from a punch in his face. I wiped the blood that was dripping quickly down my cheek. I stood up and started throwing punches, not paying attention to where I hit, whether it was the face, the shoulders, or the belly. I hit. I hit as hard as I could. I hit because I needed it. I hit so hard thinking that guy was another me. I made her pay for her bad choices. For her choices he took her without thinking about it.

Like most of the time.

Stupid, stupid, Mirko!

The sound of the bell that signaled the end of the meeting. I stood up straight, looked at that boy lying on the ground, with his eyes closed. How is it that now I only felt a void in my chest?

He opened the door of the ring and I walked briskly into the locker room, under the incredulous gaze of all. There were people still screaming, cheering. Who would start paying me a compliment, and who would call me repeatedly.

They were just annoying rumors. The same ones I had in my head.

“Love, are you here?” Milla appeared from the doorway, looking at me with a sweet smile.

I looked up at her. Her smile faded as she saw my red eyes, and the tears rolled down my cheeks.

Even the toughest ones cry.

I sat on the bench, still shirtless, covered in blood. The bands on the hands, and the shorts. The blonde walked over to me, sitting down next to her. Stroking my hair.

“What's wrong with you?” She asked worriedly.

"I don't know. I just know that I need to take a break from all this, to clear my mind .." I said.

"It's been a tough week, Mir .. Shall we go home?"

I nodded and got up. "I have to take a shower first .."

"We do it together at home, my love .." she gave Me kisses on her lips, with her hands on my face, and mine on her hips, reciprocating that play of tongues.

"I'll do it here, Milla .." I whispered away from her lips.

She agreed and I went to take a shower.

We were all together in the pizzeria. That same evening Mario wanted to celebrate the fact that I had won, and my definitive relationship with Milla. It was different, calmer, and he was no longer on me, without pressure.

Was this just what I had to do to stop feeling breathless? Sometimes I thought he was only counting on me for my match wins.

Milla shook her hand with mine, intertwining our fingers. We looked at each other and she smiled at me, then put her face on my shoulder.

And I, I felt alive on the outside, and dead on the inside.

I convinced myself it was just that period No. That period when everything seemed wrong, but, in reality, it was the right path to take.

This was my life before Alessia's arrival; to have Milla with me, the evenings spent all together joking, being carefree for a few hours, before returning home and being afraid again that the light or the water could cut us. To run out of food in the fridge, and the fear of being evicted.

My life was already a mess before, but now it had become like a stone in the neck ..

I had to recover. Take it all back and get back on my feet.

As always.

It is not easy to accept the end of something that, even if only for a short time, has given us the opportunity to live well, to fully experience unknown sensations. But good things also have an end, they need it only when they happen in certain moments when you already have your heart and mind elsewhere.

Getting up is the only way to deal with everything. There were no other choices ..