UNTIL DAYLIGHT

20

20.

You who suffer the most

the more you feel alive.

When I woke up it was already morning. I stretched my arms and found Alessia lying next to me, with my shirt on and underpants. I smiled at her and pulled her to me, kissing her.

"Good morning to you too .." she whispered. "I got breakfast .." she muttered later, getting up and going to get the tray and carrying it on the bed.

“Did you come out like that?” I asked as I sat up. I was covered only by the sheet.

She nodded. "I put on the shorts, which I took off as I came in, of course."

I bit my lip and we looked at each other, scrutinizing each other. She had tied her curls into a bun that looked awful. He left her some little rebellious tufts scattered around, and that made her beautiful in my eyes. I noticed that she was tired, but relaxed.

Who wouldn't relax after a night like ours?

“What did you mean a couple of nights ago when you told me I was the first one you slept with?” I asked her, remembering that phrase.

She frowned for a moment, changing her expression; maybe I should have avoided asking him like that, after having been so good ..

"Mirko .." she pronounced my name with a note of bitterness, of sadness.

"If you don't want to tell me about it, don't do it .. It was just a question, baby .." I stroked the bare skin of her thigh.

She put the cup of coffee on the tray and moved it to the nightstand next to the bed.

"It is right that you know about me, as you have told me, about yourself .."

She crossed her legs, but sat down next to me.

He took my hand and squeezed it: "I've never slept with a guy because I've never had one, to tell you. I just had a few hangouts here and there, until I came across an asshole who, after being together, is So it was on the second time, while on the third, he had tricked me into doing it, and the next day he told me he just wanted us to have fun. he ran away. The first one I have real feelings for. The first one that makes every part of my body tremble. "

I felt a sensation of anger for how they had used it, but also a sensation of pleasure, of sweetness, to see the different in me. Seeing myself different.

Her worst disappointments make your heart close, and that's what happened to her. But she, she had allowed me to reopen it, to go in and heal it, treat it as she deserved.

“What about that boy from yesterday?” I asked, remembering, and feeling jealousy build up in me.

I saw her laugh and shake her head. "Matteo is just a friend of mine! There was only one drunken kiss, but I didn't go to bed. I stopped in time before I made the same mistake, again."

She still returned that bitter note in her vocal cords.

"I left my homeland because I was tired. I felt it tight, and I felt out of place. Have you ever felt like I didn't belong to something? Here. I felt I didn't belong to what raised me. I didn't have peace, I had no stability. I was in danger of going mad. "He looked ahead of him, a fixed point, as if that were the emptiness that life had given him for those few years of life.

"I needed to find my place in the world. I was not feeling well at home, with my parents. I had no one to really rely on. I had only myself, the strength to say enough, and take back what I had not experienced! here and it was different, a new place where no one knew me, where no one knew who I was, or my story, or what I had done or been through. It was me, the new city, the new people. I had always wanted. I could live quiet, peaceful .. For the things I needed, I would roll up my sleeves and find them, conquer them. I just had to be patient. I had had her for so long, I couldn't lose her now. I lost a lot, but I hope to win him back, or at least continue to feel good .. "

Her gaze met mine and I smiled softly at him, pushing her towards me. She snuggled into my chest, running her arm over my belly.

"I also found you, and I think it's the best thing that life has in store for me .." she murmured softly. "She took away from me a person dear to me, of whom I will never understand how I can fill that void, and I am more and more convinced that it will never be filled, but .. On the other hand, there is you .."

And just then I tightened my grip around her body, remaining silent. She too did not speak anymore: she remained in that position, squeezing me from time to time, and sighing.

"When your eyes met mine, you scared me .." she whispered softly. "But also security .."

"What do you mean?" I did not follow the speech, or the meaning of that sentence which caused a pang in her chest.

"You came in unexpectedly, and you too messed up every single thing in me. That's what I meant ..." She looked up at my face. "Anyway, get dressed, and she goes home. Nina wakes up soon and I have to help her with some chores! "She exclaimed, getting down on her knees.

“Do I have to?” I whimpered as she laughed and pulled my hand.

"Ah-Ah. Come on .. Get up!" She continued unabashed.

I pulled her to me and started kissing her, pinning her under my body.

She stretched her legs out, so that I could get in between, and I started kissing her neck, at the same time she started to touch my erection starting to grow.

“You play with fire, do you know?” She whispered in My ear.

How could it have a certain effect on me, and make me go from having the situation in hand, to feeling helpless in a single moment?

She continued to touch me slowly, until I started giving her 'pushes' to make her understand that she didn't have to be so slow, that slowly I was dying of excitement.

When she stopped, I took advantage of it to do the same with her intimacy with her, and then make love to her again. Make it mine again. Feeling her moans, her hands scratching me, and her breaths envelop me.

***

When I got back it was just lunchtime. I was tense about today's meeting, and to see Milla after spending the night with someone else.

"Oh, where have you been?" Andrea had returned a few minutes ago, perhaps before I returned. He was still wearing the mechanic's overalls, and his hands were smeared with oil.

"Out." I said. I had to take a shower before Mario, or Milla, came back. I still had the scent of her on me, mixed with that of our relationship. I had left my shirt there, luckily I always had a spare shirt inside the hood of the car, or I would have come back bare-chested because of her!

I smiled as I thought of her whims to keep her.

"Mirko! Oh, wake up bro!" Andrea ran her hand in front of my eyes repeatedly.

"Yeah, I was thinking .." I muttered. "Today is the meeting. Will you come?"

Andrea had never accepted that someone would change the subject when he asked, so he insisted on: "Where have you been?"

I trusted Andrea, so I decided to tell him everything, in detail. At first he was left with a weird expression on his face, then he started laughing and clapping his hands on my shoulders.

"It's the first time you've done something for yourself. You woke up!" He exclaimed enthusiastically. "I noticed that in the last few days you have made a commitment not to disappoint Mario, and not to hurt Milla, but, Mirko, you have to think about yourself too, what you want. Tell me, how is it?" He laughed curiously.

"She is hot .. Passionate .. I mean, do you understand how a male can feel to have one like this? Then she is terribly sweet, caring. Fragile and strong .."

"You know he stole your heart, bro .."

"I think she has already stolen it, Andre .." I said, whispering.

***

I warmed up with the punching bag we had in the gym locker room. I wanted her to be here, for her to see my meeting, and then take care of the bruises, and the injuries that I would cause.

Then kiss her, and maybe make love here.

Ok. Ok, I had to stay focused!

“What the f**k have you been to?” Milla walked briskly towards me, pushing me.

“Milla, are you crazy?” I regained my balance and stared at her.

“You disappeared all night, came back for lunch, and immediately got out. You haven't considered me all f*****g day!” She kept screaming at me, angry.

I too was starting to get irritated by this behavior of her.

"Listen Milla, I have a meeting in 10 minutes. Can you please me not to have these attitudes? I was at my mother's, okay?" his face, and his body.

She looked down and I sighed. Then I convinced myself to hug her, but avoid kissing her.

The meeting went well, fortunately. I won without pressure, without worries about my poor defense. I wanted to go to Alessia. I wanted to see her and be with her, but, tonight it was going to be difficult.

After the meeting there was the usual dinner in a pizzeria all together. Milla always tried to kiss me, but I avoided, until she gave up and started joking with Mario, and Diego who, that evening had joined us after the long journey from Genoa, to move to Milan, at home with us. .

I took my cell phone and wrote to Alessia:

I miss you. I want to sleep with you tonight.

The answer came immediately:

Ale: If you come, the French window is open.

I want to sleep with you too, love.

I smiled and immediately put the phone in my pocket, under Milla's inquiring gaze. I shrugged and went back to eat my pizza, hoping I hadn't fooled myself into getting caught like this, with a snap of my fingers.

It would have been absurd, stupid.

I decided to kiss her and get the strange ideas out of her head, reluctantly, but it helped to make her relax and not look at me as before. Maybe he would even forget it.

I should have found a solution as soon as possible.