What has become

So many thoughts were running through my mind. She was so frightened but relieved as well. She had a fear of failing and ending up right where she started. She couldn't. If she returned to the past, there would be no more margo. She was relieved because she finally got to feel the wind in her hair, the sun shining down, warmth on her cheeks. She smiled and said Mom, I needed this, I have craved to feel the sun on my face." It seemed like forever. Her mother replied," Well, if you straighten up and stay away from the ones that you have been fooling with you may be able to stay out and feel the sun on your face every day, Margo said in a bold voice, Mom don't start. I don't want to hear it. I just got out and here you are already nagging and thinking the worst. Her mother smirked and said no it's not that I think the worst it's just that I know you. I know how you are. It's just a matter of time till you go right back to the very thing that got you where you just came from. Yea Mom, Margo replied, I guess you're right. Seems that's what all I do anyway, So I guess when I get home I'll go straight to Jean's house and get tweaked. Then Margo started laughing, Mom takes a chill pill ain't nobody trying to get high today lol. Margo's mom said in an angry tone," Margo you think that life is one big joke don't you? You're going to see one day girl. just wait and see you will learn. You can mark my word on that one, They reached the exit from where Margo was from, Margo looked out the window and things just looked so different, it just wasn't the same. She felt a lump in her throat and it was hard for her to swallow, tears whaling up in her eyes. She didn't want to be here. apart of her just wanted to be back at the hospital. It was scary for her, not knowing if she would fall back into the same trap as before. Many memories swirl through her head; trap houses, motels, tents, under bridges that's where she would spend most of her days giving out free syringes to the addicts who lived in those places, and she would score dope, anything from heroin to meth. cocaine, and ecstasy. She felt at home where her fellow addicts were just like her. She fit in. Most days she was laid up and slumped over a chair that was backward near a fire and other addicts the same as Margo, in their little world. She woke up, went home showered, and went to bed. Just for her mom to call and wake her back up. Margo, her mom would say, are you there? I just wanted to call and check on you and make sure you're ok. Oh, and I heard you were down at the tracks with all the druggies. What are you doing down there around a place like that around people that choose to live; like that, all that filth and nastyness? Margo's face boiled red mad and she says Mom I'm not doing this cause I am going to bed further more them so-called druggies that you say they are, are the most real people that you will ever meet. They never judge me there. Yes of course there's bad in every situation at times you can't avoid it. It just happens. Furthermore, the answer to the question you're trying to ask is no, no I have not got high today. I have a job to do and they need me. I still go there to pass out syringes to them. they need and rely on them so they aren't passing diseases. Mom I love you. Good night and I will talk to you tomorrow thank you for calling and checking on me. Margo loved her mother but sometimes she just gets under her skin. It just feels like to Margo no matter what she did it was never good enough not only for her mother but everyone around her it seems. She often second-guessed Should I do this or that? Margo always stuck to her guns when she decides something.