THE LOST COORDINATE

REACHING FOR KNOWLEDGE

Her words were still a mystery to me. It’s like you wanted to reach that place but you don’t know the way. The different questions come to my mind, I no longer know what is right and the wrong that should not be followed.

It’s been a few years since Ms. Melinda show her strange behavior. For ten years I still didn’t know her way of thinking. What is the path waiting for me behind that door? Whenever I think of these things, I can’t help but wonder.

I felt inanimate while heading to the first room, the room where the newly arrived child stayed.

Good morning sister! The children greeted me happily as they run towards me, and then chased other kids.

The sun seemed to rise again in its long setting. The light you can only see in their smile. This is the place where I belong.

(The sound of door opening) the silence of the surroundings dawned on me. The cozy little room with nothing to see but the structure and furnishing was bright but full of impatience. It looks like the place was there but it doesn’t seem to exist, it’s seemed empty.

I hurriedly went to every corner and room of the whole place. He still has a lot to learn, it will be difficult for him if he wasted too much time. But he was not in the place where I naïve child could go.

“1122! Are you looking for something?” said the voice behind me. I turned quickly, and I saw, in front of me their lively presence. Students with high grades, blessed with their abilities, they are called special children.

Good morning, I greet them happily. I was looking to the new kid. Today is the first day of his studies. He is not in the room where he was staying. I explained.

“Looks like this time, you’re having a hard time, is he a trouble to you?” He asked me with a serious tone and he smiled. It’s hard to read what he's thinking, his expression doesn’t match it.

“Sometimes I noticed, Ms. Melinda is quiet. It seems like she was thinking of something and trying to figure out the answer. Is he the reason?” he asked again. Just like before he was smiling while asking those questions.

For that moment, I look like a naïve child. There is no voice in my mouth and I can’t speak. I can’t give an answer to his question. This boy! I could feel to myself the silence he brought around. He is different from everyone. He walked closer to me and gently slapped his hand on my head.

“You haven’t changed at all, you’re still the same as before.” He said while smiling. You’re still worrying too much. Don’t forget we're family here, you’re not alone, okay.

“Of course.” Suddenly the tone of his voice changed, and now I see his smile fade away little by little.

“I tried to avoid it, but my eyes were automatically pointed in that direction of where he was.” Only now, this time, his words finally match the expression he displayed.

“I notice he’s often alone, no companion, but he doesn’t look alone. He can compare to a box that has not been opened for a long time and anyone wants to see what’s in it. ”

“His stares are mysterious like it's telling something. I can’t say what it is, but I know his special. There is something on him that no one has discovered yet.”

He gently stroked my hair. His eyes were very sad. This is the only time I see him like that.

“Oh yeah! I saw him walking towards the library. He suddenly said with a startled expression, like he just remembered it, and smile awkwardly.”

“Really! Thanks a lot!” I said happily. Those were the only words that came out of my mouth because I don’t know what I should respond to him.

I slowly turned away as the warmth returned to his face.

“1122! Wait!” We believe in you, I hope you can help him. The words I heard from him before I left.

(cheerful laughter) I slowly opened the door, and then, there’s a deafening sound of silence. He sat comfortably while looking at the open book on the table. I gently closed the door and walk slowly, carefully avoiding things that might upset or disturb him.

“Is he trying to understand what is written in the book?” I asked puzzle to myself. I’m sure he doesn’t understand anything about it.

I watched him intently as I slowly sat down in the middle of the table while he was on its side.

I look like a mother watching her child as he gradually becomes aware of the world. The air around is gentle, it matches the peaceful stillness of the room.

I stared at him, his eyes were very serious. It was as if he didn’t care about anything and no noise can bother him. He continuously follows the movement of each word, obediently.

It can’t be! The voice of shock flustered on my mind.

The movement of his hand, the gradual opening of each page of the book, and the movement of his eyes in unison with the breathtaking silence of the surroundings, all of that left me in amazement. Then I just noticed the pile of books in front of him. He clearly understands everything.

I quickly stood up as I could no longer stop the astonishment and the question that quickly formed in my mind. I know to myself I hadn’t done nor teach anything yet. He really knows how to read, even though his mind was still young and he just got consciousness in this world. He could not learn a thing in one night. He wouldn’t able to give light in the night without asking for help from others. What is this child hiding? This is one of the questions on my mind that confused me.

Before I approached him, he suddenly stood up, looking straight at the door as if he hadn’t noticed my presence. I seem to be a ghost that no rights to exist in this world. My mind was full of questions as I watched him leave. There is nothing more bizarre than this situation.

(Sound of door closing) I took a deep breath and look around. The one day and one night since he arrived, gives me a strange feeling.

I could do nothing but pick up the books he left on the table. Astonishment still prevails in my mind. I slowly picked the book his reading recently and looked on its page carefully. This book, it’s about language and it’s not a book that a four-year-old child can actually understand, not even six years old. I know it’s not all coincidence.

Then I noticed the paper in the first pile of the books. I picked it up quickly and the words appeared in my eyes. This is the light in the middle of the darkness. That single answer to thousands of questions.

“Don’t let curiosity dominate your seemingly sunny smiles.” Those are the words I found written on the small piece of paper.

What a mysterious chance! I only asked for a clue but he gave me an answer.

I quickly left the library, and in front of Ms. Melinda, she did not hesitate to say a word.

“Are you okay 1122? What is happening to you?” A worrying question she asked with a hint of anger.

“I’m sorry if I worried you, but I’m fine Ms. Melinda,” I said. She still doesn’t change, she still cares about children. In fact, she is just our guardian but the love she gives to us is overflowing. We consider her as our mother and we are his children.

(Frowning)“Is this about him again?” She asked. “You should not do something that is beyond your ability. Just study hard and smile, just like before when the problem doesn’t exist yet, in your mind.” She said.

Her mouth utters again the words I did not fully understand. The words with no carved of enlightenment because of their depth.

“What do you mean, Ms. Melinda?” I confusedly asked.

She looked at me and pity could be seen in her eyes. She wanted to express something, but it seems like there’s something on her mind, blocking it, won’t allow her to utter words.

From her seat, she slowly stood up.

“You saw nothing, you heard nothing.” She said seriously. “Don’t listen to the sound, the sounds that seem singing because of its own beauty. Don’t follow the footsteps, the footsteps that attract your body towards the bright place. You don’t need that beauty. You’d rather choose the undesirable darkness, than the light of the sun in the morning.”

“I know.” She said when she saw that I couldn’t even answer her words. He gently kissed my forehead and smiled.

“Gradually the rain looms at a time when you don’t need it and it will come in a time where you least expect it. Be strong! That’s all you can do for now. “She said as she caresses my head.

I could do nothing but stares at her and try to understand her words. I also lost sight of my own purpose in approaching her. She looked away and smiled.

“Would you like to hear a story?” She asked while smiling.

It seemed like my energy returned to my body as fast as the wind. This day is special to me, a chance that only happened, once in a long time. I sat down slowly, joy and longing overflowing in my mind. From the cold wide floor, with her gaze that gives hope to anyone and her smile that full of love, the story begun.

“There’s a woman who seeks peace and happiness. She traveled far just to find it. She talked and interacted with different types of people. All of them considered her as a friend, sister, and family, but the woman continues her journey. With her uncontented desire, her feet did not stop walking towards the place no one knew. She firmly followed the light with the belief that there is something better waiting for her there. Soon, the light she was following was getting closer and closer until his palms could reach it.”

“She is a person who’s always smiling and has a lively personality and she didn’t hesitate to step her foot in the beauty of the light she desires. But right there, in front of her eyes, the dreams that she wanted are nothing but a punishment of the world. She was quickly swallowed up by emptiness, groaning loudly and screaming in agony. Her formerly vigorous legs gradually weakened and lost strength. He was caught up in a decision she taught was right.”

“From the ground, she looked up at the sky, looked at the clouds, and asked the stars for an answer. The face is full of remorse, her eyes are glaring and her hands are heralding with anger. “

“The days passed. The woman gives birth to two children even though it against her will. Forced to do something for which suffering is the compensation. In the place where the exterior is covered with façade and its interior is full of rottenness and dishonesty.

“Around her, unmindful little eyes were staring, those eyes with no awareness to the suffering and its consequences. The mind is shut as she slowly steps her feet into nothingness. Children have just been born.”

“From her position, tears flowed quickly. Tears, that look like telling and indicating a word. She closed her eyes tightly, but she could still see it clearly in her mind. It seems like a bad dream, even if you open your eyes but the truth still won’t wake you up. It was a nightmare that will follow you to your death. “

“She stood slowly and hugged the children tightly. Those smiles, that gives light and hopes behind nothingness. She strenuously illuminated the darkness of the room. She looked like a light at night and a light that guides when the dawn came.”

“She replaced smile the deafening sobs, voices asking for help and thirst for revenge. Fate was accepted and never set foot again to travel.”

“From the place where the light could found, the light that dazzled and obscured the truth, she created a new life and buried the past. The valleys she used to walk before. The rivers and streams she crossed. On the lofty mountains she climbs, the coolness of the ocean breeze in the middle of the night and the animals, plant, and trees that she encounters, that was the continuation of her story.”

“Take what is for you and find happiness. I hope you have something to learn from what I said.” She said with a smile. I tried to understand but I could not fully understand the entirety of her story.

She looked at me with appreciation. “Don’t trouble yourself to understand it; someday you’ll understand what I’m saying.” Her voice was very calm. Her words quickly stuck in my mind.