Tomorrow

Chapter 2

Marigold POV

My mood for a day depends on my hairstyle, dressing and underwear and not to blow my trumpet of toot my horn...toot toot ....I look absolutely amazing. After an unexpected conversation with a stranger yesterday I felt seen. There's this joy when someone actually understand you to an extent and not pretend to understand for pity sake.

My favourite colour is black and I've tried my possible best to get all sets of black bikini, black sweatshirts, black joggers, my iconic black gowns anything black to sum it up. I'm currently wearing a very sexy black lingerie even though no one will actually get to see it under a black fitting bodysuit paired up with silver chokers. I'm also wearing black wedges with silver anklets and bracelets.

Ask me where on earth I'm heading to, where??.. well, my darlings I'm heading to my bathroom to take some pictures of myself. Sad right!! But not totally sad. I'm honestly used to this and I absolutely enjoy doing this from time to time. There's a full body length mirror in the bathroom and the lighting there is superb. I've endeavoured to keep the tiles sparkling clean, the aesthetic vibe is on point. One thing I'm proud of in this life is my bathroom.

One minute I find myself doing okay but then it just suddenly starts hitting me and I realise that I'm not okay at all. I apply my makeup like layers of paint to a cracked surface expecting the finished result and that is to be pretty, now I'm scraping it off crying while all corners of the room seems like its closing up on me.

My sudden sadness was a result of something i have been struggling with for a long time - body image issues. As i stood there in the dress, i couldn't help but feel like i wasn't good enough. I felt like no matter how much i tried, I would never be the perfect image of beauty that society told me I had to be. The tears just kept coming, and i felt like i couldn't stop them.

Well, forget that episode.

Y'all probably wondering what's wrong with this depressed b***h.

I've always wanted to be a model and that goal of mine is still in process, I just need a good opportunity and social media coverage. I've dedicated my time in looking for ways to edit pictures,take shots in the right environment and lighting, watching runway shows, poses ideas and so on and I love doing this.

I just need to embrace body positivity.

I heard my cellphone ring and I'm shocked because that device never rings. I head to my bedroom and saw the the caller ID " White Kitchn," and oh boy I smiled.

M- Hello stranger, how are you doing?

W- Hi, I'm meant to be asking you that

M- oh me, I'm absolutely fine

W- alright, that's nice to know. Take care bye

M- oh Bye.

Well, that was short

I like saying "well" right...its an habit

Removing my clothes, I realise that I really need new clothes. I've always found comfort in the color black. Whenever I'm feeling down, or anxious, or just plain old sad, I would go out and buy myself a new black outfit. It is like my armor - a way to shield myself from the world. My closet is full of black dresses, black blazers, black jeans - you name it. Some people might have thought it is a bit strange, but to me, it was a way to feel strong and protected.

..........

Right now I'm suddenly seeing my best friend in my room "Gosh girl you scared me", that b***h just laughed

out and i followed bacause why not, her laugh is so contagious. I've known Lilian for quite some time now and there is one thing I've learnt in this life and that is family isn't only about blood, it is the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile and those that would love you no matter what you did in the past or gonna do. Lilian is more than a friend to me..

I remember the first day i met her, coincidentally it was the first day in university and i was a bundle of nerves. I had never been the most outgoing person, and the thought of navigating a new school filled with new faces was daunting. After the journey from one campus to the other trying to sort out admission processes, i went to the cafeteria and just sat down on a spare chair then i suddenly heard someone call out, "Hey, you" . I turned around and it was a girl with a lovely palazzo. I've always admired clothes on people and I can never forget her outfit that day. Let's skip this long talk, our friendship is basically the classic introvert-extrovert dynamic!

We have similar interests, like our love of rap and our passion for baking. But most of all, we appreciated each other's differences. I like how Lilian pushes me to be more outgoing, and she likes how i help her slow down and appreciate the quieter moments in life. We balance each other out, and that's what made our friendship special. It's like we were the missing puzzle pieces to each other's lives.

Back to the present, Lilian is ransacking my fridge looking for God knows what and I told her that I need to go shopping for some black clothes. That's our code when I'm feeling down. "Aw babes what's wrong" she asked and I just replied "one of those days" "OK say no more chop chop let's head out"

We went out shopping and i found the most beautiful black dress I've ever seen (said by me every single time).

It was sleek, sophisticated, and oh so elegant not to mention, also cheap but quality. Without hesitation, I bought it.When I put it on, I felt like a whole new person. I felt confident and powerful - like i could conquer anything. But it wasn't just the dress that made me feel that way. It was the act of buying it, of giving myself permission to do something for herself, that really made the difference.

Heading home Lilian just said "I'm glad you're okay now"

But am I?