The risk of them all

"I can't believe it." she sobbed. "She dumped me through text! After 5 years of love that conquers all, I don't even deserve an explanation!?" "Oo, ganyan talaga 'yang mga lalaki na yan! Mga punyeta, may iba yan! Kia, sinasabi ko sa'yo! Gago talaga niyang ex mo! Sabi namin kasi sa'yo, red flag yan! Tigas ng ulo mo at binalikan mo pa!" sabi ni Lou na animo'y siya ang niloko ng ex-jowa ni Kia. Kia kept on crying. "Eh kasi..." she sobbed. "Nagbago naman siya eh... You guys know naman, He did change! We won't last 5 years if he's such a douchebag..." "Oo nga, syempre, nagpapabango. Pero sige nagbago nga yung hinayupak na yun. Eh kaso, change is constant? Nagbago ulit? Hindi nga lang for the better? Sino iyak? Ikaw 'di ba?" sermon ni Lou. "Then, Do I deserve this?" Kia sobbed as she looked at Lou with pure agony. " I gave him another chance because he asked and begged for it. He worked for my trust. Is it wrong that I trusted him again? Is it wrong to love like this?" she stated in the middle of her breakdown. "Am I at fault for loving more than the other could offer?" she continued still sobbing. "Am I the problem?" she said while her tears fall non-stop. Tila nahabag naman si Lou and niyakap ang kaibigan. "Hay, No. Di mo kasalanan na you are pure-hearted. It's his fault for preying on your innocent soul and not taking responsibility. It's his loss, Sis." she said while tapping Kia's back. I joined the hug and wipe Kia's tears. "You are imperfect and so was your relationship with him. Pero loving, trusting, and understanding him for 5 years, Your feelings are valid for wanting an explanation. You deserve that closure for yourself. He owes it to you and you should demand it. It's a form of respect that a love of 5 years deserve before it ends." Kia sobbed hard after my statement. " I love him, so much that it hurts..." Lou and I looked at each other with pure worry and sympathy toward our girl. "We know." sabi ni Lou. "We know." and hugged each other tighter. That is love. It is sad, and fulfilling at the same time. If I am to decide my fate, I don't want to fall hard in love. 'Cause the harder you fall, the more it hurts. I don't want to feel like every part of my heart hurts and that I don't know what to do. I don't want to question myself someday if I deserve such pain when all I did was love someone so much. My friends Kia and Lou set the examples for me. Secondary Experiences are traumatizing, tbh. They loved and trusted the wrong ones. They said they were once happy during that relationship. But, do happy times cater to the heartbreak once it all ends? For me, It is not worth it. I do not want to fall in love. I will not fall in love.