Let Us Ask God

The first time Ugbo sent a letter from America, Adem could not let go of the letter. She was extremely overjoyed, and held unto the crisp piece of paper. First she clung it onto her chest firmly like a young woman whose fiancé overseas was writing to for the first time. When she had indulged herself enough, she tied it to the edge of her wrapper, the funny way most market women or every woman who tied wrapper secured money in those days when wallets and purses were not yet rampant. It was the only way women, especially in Adem's category held money, (since wrapper did not have pockets) another way was to slot it into their brassiere, a more convenient and secure pocket for many women in the Seventies and early eighties. But she didn't stop there; she went around the village with Ugbo's letter announcing to her fellow women that Ugbo had sent a letter from America. "Oh! Ononugbo nwam - Ononugbo my son had finally written us."She announced joyfully. She was the only one who still called him Ononugbo (the full version of the name) everyone else both in the village and at his office where he worked before leaving Nigeria, shortened the name to Ugbo. But Adem declined to use the short version of the name. She complained that she couldn't connect easily with the shorter version of the name, because it made the name to lose so much meaning, it made it to lose its roots and purpose for choosing it. So she was in the habit of correcting or reminding everyone who called him Ugbo, with a wry face, "Mba! No, I don't have any son called Ugbo."She always insisted in her usual way to protect the Ononugbo trademark. Unfortunately for Adem, Ugbo preferred the shortened version of the name; it was funkier, easy to pronounce unlike its full version that was easily corrupted in pronunciation by his non Igbo friends and colleagues at office. But while his non-Ibo Nigerian friends struggled with and avoided the full name for its shorter version, the Americans could not even pronounce 'Ugbo'. Even with all its simplicity, they struggled with it and changed it on their own without Ugbo's consent. He had to accept what they gave him as name. And in the first letter, he had made reference to the American's struggle with his name for Adem. He had said. "Adem," he called her Adem as well, like other people. "Can you believe, these white Americans cannot pronounce my name? Some call me Ubo - guitar, some call me Ubi - farm, some call me Ugo - eagle, some call me Uber (I don't know what that one means). They call me all sorts of names." He wrote. Adem had churned out a heavy, deep sigh when Ambu read out ugbo's frustration with the Americans in their struggle with his name. "Don't mind them my son, I thought they know everything! Who thought they can't pronounce a mere name that don't need you to go to school to learn." Adem cursed. At the village square that evening (that is under the big ageless Udara tree which served as market and assembly point for the whole village), Adem had danced and danced and danced until she became tired. Other women in the village had joined her in the mock celebration to dance, while the men who came around dashed her money, they pasted fifty kobo and one naira notes on her forehead to celebrate with her. While she danced, she displayed Ugbo's letter for all to see, holding it like certificate; once in a while she quoted portions or parts from the letter (the way verses are quoted from the Bible) exactly in the same words that Ambu (Ugbo's only brother had read it out). "Ononugbo said this... Ononugbo said that..." She announced to the villagers dramatically, as if she was reciting and practicing a script she was going to act. It was like an audition exercise. Although she was not literate, yet Adem's memory was very sharp. She could cram and remember anything she had heard ones and would quote it in sic in Igbo. Her ability to recollect things forever impressed and amazed Ugbo and Ambu as young men in school. They had tested her the day over ten women asked her to buy things for them from the market in a nearby town. They had both thought that Adem would not be able to remember all the items the women had asked her to buy, and in their exact amounts too; therefore to help out, they wrote out the women's shopping request on a piece of paper for Adem to take along with her to the market, so that someone would read it out for her. But Adem turned down the shopping list. She told them that she could remember every item off hand and would not miss out anything. And when she returned from market, they took time to crosscheck every item she bought against what they had on the list, and to their utter surprise, she missed out nothing. Everything in her basket was exact and tallied with the list. Adem was like this, therefore it was not surprising she was quoting Ugbo's letter. The quoting of what Ugbo said in his letter was the sweetest part for the women who gathered to celebrate with her. Their ears were itching to hear more and more, they wanted to hear a vivid painting of America. And without disappointing - as if he knew the letter would find its way to the market square - Ugbo had said so many things about America. He had painted the picture of how beautiful a place it was, but the city itself where he stayed - New York, was not so much different from Lagos. It was busy like Lagos, rough like it, it never slept like Lagos, it shared so many things in common with Lagos; while Lagos was better than New York in the sense that it was safer. New York, he said was replete with violent crimes – although the Mayor was doing something about it. As at the time he wrote the letter, he had not visited any other cities outside New York, but his conclusion was that if those other cities - the rest of America was like New York, Nigeria was not very far behind. "We would someday become like them." He had stated in his letter. His letter was full of optimism and hope, optimism that Nigeria was not too far. He made his reference to University of Ibadan, University of Nigeria Nsukka, the two schools he had applied to study at before changing his mind to travel for further studies in the US; both schools he concluded were as good as the university he was attending in America, if not better. They were well equipped, had experienced faculty, University of Ibadan especially, had more international students than his New York university. The thing that pleased Adem and her fellow women most was when he said that their money - the American dollar, was inferior to the Nigerian currency - the naira. "Our one naira is equivalent to their two dollars, they are crazy for the naira." He said. "On one occasion, I brought out twenty naira note in class, Adem you can't imagine it, everyone wanted to touch it, everyone wanted to buy the naira off me, I was like a king that day. In fact the Americans like our naira like gold. Because of this reason, I decided not to convert all my money to dollar; so that it doesn't lose all its value before the time I would be ready to spend it." He concluded on the economy. Ugbo said so many things in his first letter in the comparison between Nigeria and United States that would make every Nigerian's head swell with pride. The mood in his first letter and subsequent ones was like that in the first three or four years. And not surprising because, he only went to America to study and come back, and not for greener pastures. It was in those golden years of Nigeria, when the naira was equivalent to the British pound, about the time when you didn't need visa to enter Britain; all you needed was your transport fare to hop into the next ship to Liverpool, and yet you would be received like royalty. It was the golden moment of Agriculture, when as international students or on business trips, Nigerians were respected and maybe worshiped, when the naira traded on the streets and banks of London, when the Nigerian passport was rarely screened, because there was no need to. It was at this period that Ugbo left Nigeria for further studies in the US. While in Nigeria, he worked at Barclays bank and had resigned from the job to get further education. His intention was to acquire the education and return to Nigeria to continue with his life; because things worked in Nigeria then, in fact, Nigeria worked at that time. Ugbo's early years in America were evergreen and fulfilling, courtesy of the savings he had made while working at Barclays back in Nigeria, so he had enough money to take him as long as he could stay without working. He also had enough for clubbing as well as spoil some American girls - the naira was equal to the task. The moods of his letters reflected his status in America then. However the optimism in his letters began to change or wane after the first three years; in a twist of fate, the naira crashed and lost value first against the pound and subsequently against the dollar. To avoid losing money, he was forced to sell off all the naira he had left, albeit to un-wiling Americans who had no more interest in the naira and were not willing to hold it again. Every day he called Ambu to find out how things were going on in Nigeria, only to be presented with a grim picture of a crashing state, things were getting out of hand, they were no longer at ease. The military had continued from where the politicians had stopped to ruin what was left of Nigeria. The economy was in shambles, the jobs were no more, the naira was crashing, there was hardship and austerity everywhere, the oil boom was almost in a burst. A lot of things were happening at home; almost everyone wanted to leave the country for greener pastures abroad, weather UK, America, South America, Asia or anywhere else. Nigerians were desperate for an outlet to survive the harsh reality at home. The government was helpless and was therefore contemplating austerity measures in the severest form. Those were the messages and pictures Ugbo was getting from home. And with this kind of discouraging news, he was considering or contemplating not returning to Nigeria after his studies. He was contemplating many things he would not have thought about before leaving Nigeria, some rational and a lot of others awkward. The golden era was over before it began. The crashing of the naira or its devaluation against the dollar wiped out Ugbo's savings overnight; it made him an instant pauper to the extent that he could no longer pay his school fees. On a couple of times, Ambu sent him some money from Nigeria to help out, but it couldn't go anywhere, it couldn't make much difference. To survive, he had to take up some menial jobs in the mortuary, on the street, including dish washing, like the rest of Nigerians caught up in the Nigerian economy crunch wave of the late Seventies and early eighties. In the midst of this distraction, his studies were affected and had to suffer. The new economic reality at home and his new status in America started reflecting in the tone and mood of Ugbo's letters to Adem. Adem could no longer treasure these subsequent letters the same way she treated his earlier letters. Recently, she had developed a lot of misgiving about Ononugbo's assurances that all was well with him in America, especially with the pace his letters came (he wrote less frequently these days), always explaining that he no longer had enough time, he was very busy with school and work, but Adem understood everything from the sober and subdued mood in those few letters he sent home. She too became moody especially anytime her fellow women inquired about Ugbo, whether he still sent letters like before. "He still does, I received his letter only four days ago." Adem would lie. "It's just that this wicked government of ours has succeeded to export the bad economy we face here to America as well. They messed up the naira, now Ononugbo is paying the price in far away America." She would explain. Unlike before, she no longer clutched unto the letters, she no longer touched it. Everything about the letter ended with Ambu reading it. She rarely bothered to memorize any word of it or commit to heart the message in them, how much clutch or hold it on her chest while she went to bed. After dancing around the market that day with Ugbo's first letter, she had clutched it on her chest as she went to bed that night. It was not surprising what Adem did with those letters, how she treasured them. It was expected, considering the love she had for Ugbo. Ugbo was not a biological son to Adem, but her sister's son and consolation to her marriage. Adem could not bear a child for her husband who incidentally was the king of his community. Not minding this, her husband still loved her deeply and refused to take another wife --- as was common in those days --- upon her entreaties and pressure on him to. She yearned desperately for him to get a heir. But when he refused to take such step, Adem out of her own will and accord went ahead and brought her younger sister for her husband Uneze to marry. She pressed it upon him that that was the only way she could be made happy; so her husband had no choice than to succumb. He married her younger sister Nkeiru, who later bore Ugbo and Ambu. And from that very minute Ugbo came into the world, Adem's joy was without bounds, she took him as her direct son, and loved him more than his direct biological mother Nkeiru had loved him. On his part, Ugbo and Ambu grew up to learn that Adem was their mother, without Nkeiru contesting or attempting to contest Adem's claim. Traditionally, NKeiru was Adem's wife and her children belonged to Adem more than her, therefore she had no choice than to surrender to custom, more so, when both she and Adem lived happier than could be imagined in any marriage. They shared the same joy much as they shared pains. Ugbo's situation in America worsened with the fate of the naira, in about his fifth year, which should have been his final in the university, his situation got so much out of hand that he had to contemplate dropping out; he was no longer attending classes, he was rarely seen on campus, he avoided all activities on campus, including his friends, course mates and everyone. He became extremely reclusive and subsequently slid into paranoia. But all these did not happen without his lecturers and classmate noticing it. A lot of them showed much concern and tried to help out, especially one of his American lecturers, but Ugbo could not open up to anyone, he could not confide in anyone at all, he preferred to die in silence. And for his insistence, his grades went down, the rough situation took a toll on his health as well. He was apparently going through that rough phase most international students went through, when their lifeline from their country become threatened. But in the midst of Ugbo's stubbornness, there was someone who would not give up on him, someone who cared for him so much so that she was willing to do anything for him, Joan. Joan was so much daring that her daring became one of the reasons Ugbo disliked her. In fact he considered her a distraction and nuisance to both his personal and academic life. But this was not enough for Joan to surrender and leave him in peace. Joan's interest in Ugbo was as old as Ugbo's days in America. Joan first noticed Ugbo the very first moment he stepped into the university campus, and right from that moment, from that outset, she fell instantly in love with him, and she did not fail to disclose or let Ugbo know her intentions. Unlike a few other American girls in his class who also developed feelings for him, but were subtle in their approach, Joan's approach was direct and straight. She neither hid her feelings nor tried to suppress it. While the other girls feared that Ugbo would turn them down or reject their advance at him, Joan cared no rap, she threw caution to the wind and daringly approached Ugbo. But Ugbo was both shocked and shy, the day she boldly came to him to make her advance. It was one day after class, within his first two weeks in America, - that time he was still buoyant - he was rushing to the international students' office to tidy up his registrations, unknown to him, someone was chasing or rushing after him. But he pretended not to have heard her once he realized it Joan. He had taken notice of her in the class in the first week, her voice had baked itself in his memory, that he could recognize it anywhere, without seeing her. "Hi Ubo! Are you through for the day? Are you heading somewhere?" She had asked in the usual American way as he reluctantly stopped and turned. He also sighed. Joan was among the group that called him guitar in their struggle to pronounce his name. He had corrected them a couple of times before realizing that it was a futile exercise; in fact he spent the bulk of his first week in class correcting and training them on how to pronounce Ugbo correctly. But now he had given up. "I'm not going anywhere." Ugbo answered in the usual Nigerian way, even his tone was unfriendly, but Joan was more than excited being so close to him, hearing his voice at so close a range, so amazed being up close and personal with him to care about the tempo of his responses or his mood towards her. "But you are heading somewhere?" She replied warmly, her face was full of grin, while her hand was already extended towards him. "I have been looking for a way... an opportunity to have some private moment with you." She started. "If you don't mind." She added as an afterthought, although she didn't struggle to say it, it came out very easily. "But you can see I'm rushing somewhere." Ugbo said, rather retorted to dismiss her. "Maybe I can accompany you, I can walk you down, we can talk as we go." She offered excitedly, as Ugbo's hand gripped hers in the handshake she had wished to be her longest, but for Ugbo halting and cutting it short and premature. Although she tried not to release his hand, but only did so out of courtesy. "I don't think that would be necessary. I need some privacy." Ugbo said insistently, killing her mood and spirit, spoiling her day. She left him at that spot and that point and made straight home. She was angry, disappointed and distracted; hence she could not attend anymore more classes that day. Even Ugbo noticed her absence in class when he got back from the IS office that afternoon. But Joan did not give up, she tried a couple more times. However, it took her almost twelve weeks to get Ugbo to give her audience, and it happened because it was his birthday. He didn't know how she managed to know his birthday; he even forgot it was his birthday. For him, there was nothing in birthdays, it was like every other normal day, it came and went. Sometimes, some years he didn’t even remember that a day like that had anything to do with him. Back home in Nigeria, he could not remember marking any birthday in his life. But surprisingly, Joan brought him a big gift that morning. It was well wrapped in ribbons, she announced to the class that it was his birthday, and before he knew it, they were singing 'happy birthday to you,' to him. That morning he felt very shy and would have loved the floor to open up so that he could disappear from the class. But it couldn't, it was impossible. So he had to put up face, to pretend to love everything, somehow, he acted a perfect celebrant. He took pictures with his course mates, shook hands with them, while for Joan it was a moment to embrace. She embraced him rather than shake his hand. He was shy, while shy was on top of the sky. She forced a picture of him and her in that embrace she couldn’t let go. For the rest of the day, he could not concentrate in class, his mind was on the gifts, what was wrapped underneath or inside. And when he got home later that afternoon, he could not wait to unwrap the layers of ribbon, the shiny foil paper wrapper. And inside, he found chocolates (expensive ones), she also baked him cake, bought him a packet shirt, a pair of jeans and belt, and above all, she enclosed a birthday gifting card in which she also took time to express her yearning feelings he had frustrated her from expressing for over three months. In the card she wrote boldly; 'Ugbo please I love you. I wish you could notice it. My love is harmless, I mean no harm. I have been wondering whether it’s against your culture to love someone and show interest in him, I have been trying to research that, but my mind tells me that love cannot be a crime. I don’t think any culture or religion abhors love and friendship. Sometimes I wonder whether it's my skin, whether you deliberately do not want to associate with a girl with color of skin, whether you prefer to segregate or... I can’t just explain it. Lately I have become so unhappy, and honestly I don’t know what else to do to get you understand my feelings towards you. We can still be friends even if you don’t love me. I can understand your feelings, if that's how you feel. I wish you the most memorable birthday in your life. I love you. Joan. Apart from her explanation, she also wrote him a poem which she enclosed in the birthday package. The birthday present opened the line of communication between Ugbo and Joan, they became casual friends, which was what he told her he preferred. He didn’t want any strings attached to their relationship. This arrangement was okay for Joan. She was happy that at least she was a step closer, and somehow warded off the other girls who had feelings for Ugbo too. She did everything to respect Ugbo's feelings and so they both maintained the relationship at that level. At least it was a win-win situation. Things remained like this throughout the first three years. In one of his letters to Ambu and also in their phone conversation, Ugbo mentioned to Ambu his situation with Joan, but surprisingly, Ambu told him that there was nothing wrong with starting a real relationship with her. If he was sure her love was harmless and genuine, he should embrace it. Ugbo was shocked to the bone by Ambu's advice. "What would the relationship lead to? Would I be able to marry her? What of Adem? How would she feel?" He had asked Ambu. "The thing is, do you have feelings for her as well? That is the most important question first. If you can answer it, the rest would sort out naturally." Ambu advised. "Marriage? Why not! Adem would accept it over time. She won’t live your life for you." He explained. "We would find a way to explain it to her." Ambu explained to Ugbo's consternation. He made it sound as if Adem had changed a lot. She had became liberal overnight, she had stopped being too possessive of Ugbo like his guardian angel. Joan's love for Ugbo did not wane nor decline with time, rather it grew with it. Joan was the first person to notice that Ugbo was facing crisis, although Ugbor refused to disclose his problems to her yet she noticed it. He refused to let her know that he was in financial difficulty, because he considered it unfair to disclose or share his personal problems with her, but this angered her so much, especially when she discovered that he had taken up some menial jobs to survive. It worried her so much when he started playing truancy on campus without explaining why. It bothered her when his grades came down, when his academics and world started collapsing. At a point she was suspecting that he might have joined one gang or the other on the streets of New York, he might have succumbed to hard drugs and other binges or delinquencies, but she did not have any facts to that. She kept asking him what was happening. Why he was suddenly abandoning and letting his American dream, what brought him to America to start withering? But he only dismissed it that, explaining that he was passing through a phase, that there were challenges at home, but that things were shaping up already. All the same she could not believe him. One day she took the courage to ask him the most heart touching question she ever asked him. "Please tell me. Your present situation, has it got anything to do with your family back in Nigeria? Is your wife and kids passing through a tough time that you are forced to abandon your studies to work so that you can support them, now that the naira has become weak?" It was this question that made him to open up to her. It was the question that made him pour out his soul to her in a way he never ever did. It was the bombshell, and also what removed the lid that prevented him from falling in love with her. It released him from his imprisoned feelings. It also gave him the opportunity to discover his life back. "I don't have any wife or kid back home in Nigeria." He answered in a subdued manner. "It's just that things are terribly out of shape with my finance. I'm not able to pay my fees anymore, I thought I could figure out what to do, but it looks as if... I don't know." He threw his hands in mock surrender. "But shouldn't you have told me. I can help. I can take you to my parents, we are rich, we are comfortable. My parents can help you finish your education without stress. It's unnecessary to put yourself through this difficulty. You are supposed to confide in me." Joan was almost emotional. "I shouldn't disclose my problems to you, I shouldn't bother you. I shouldn't take advantage of you." Ugbo explained. "You have been too good to me. You are almost like a sister to me here in America, so..." He tried to explain. "That's the more reason you should share your burden with me. I can't continue smiling as if the whole world is calm while you are suffering and languishing, that would be unfair of me. It's against the spirit of love. I 'm a Christian, my parents are good Christians, they would be very eager to show their Christianity in practical life. This situation could afford them the opportunity to be good Samaritans to someone they don't know, but whom they are bound by their Christian faith to help. And I think we have to go now and see them." Joan spelt out. She picked her hand bag and rose up. "No, no, no." Ugbo protested. "Please Ubo, you have no choice in this. You are no longer in charge of this situation any more. You have tried all you can to salvage this situation, but you are not able. So it's natural you back off. You can’t come all the way from Nigeria with your life savings, only to drop out in your final year. You don’t have a choice to mess up with your grades, you have already messed up enough anyway. Please you are not in charge any more. I'm now in charge and you have to follow my instruction. You have to go to the back seat while I drive. I'm not pleading with you, I'm ordering you right now, you have to move with me to see my parents right here and now. So let's get going." "But that is not right, it’s unfair to your parents, they deserve prior information before you bring a stranger into their house to solicit for financial aid. I could have feigned this to take advantage of you." Ugbo still protested. "It's my home we are talking about here. It's my parents and not your parents we are going to see, so let’s get going. I would do the talking. "Joan explained. But Ugbo refused to rise. Joan became very enraged. It came in her voice. "You know what?" She threatened. "I'm going to walk away since you don't want to change your mind. I think I know your problem, you are too racial, you segregate a lot. I'm sure if I were your fellow black, you would have sounded more rational. You just don't want to have anything to do with a white girl. But that is so bad. I think I have to go, and don't ever talk to me again, in fact... I don't know, I may use the wrong words to describe you." Joan was shouting. Ugbo rose up to calm her down. He held her for the first time, for the first time he embraced her. "Calm down Joan, it's not like that." He was explaining. At that point, there was this rare feeling he had about her. A kind of chemistry was building between them. For the first time he realized how much love he had developed for her, how much he had come to love her. Over time he had found out that Joan was so harmless, so good and nice, even nicer than a lot of Nigerian girls he had known. Her love was very real and genuine. And by the time they got to her home at an upscale rich neighborhood in Manhattan New York, his view about Joan changed a million fold. Joan was from a very wealthy home. Her father was a successful estate attorney in New York, while her mother was a teacher. Both of her parents were in their late forties with Joan as an only child. They were both successful as professionals and as parents. But what struck him most was the fact that they were deeply religious, they were real Christians who would go to any length to show love. They were so receptive of him, they didn’t show any atom of racism or doubt about him, neither did they question their daughter's judgement. From that very moment he stepped foot into their home, they took him like a son and also treated him like one. And since they had enough resources they didn't think twice about what their daughter told them about Ugbo. In the short discussion they had before dinner, Joan's father asked him to cease from doing any more menial works. "You have to redeem your grades from this moment. I guess that's the major task that brought you to the United States, everything else has to flow into that funnel. You must take your own American dream with you to Nigeria, and the only way you can do that is through your grades." Joan's father said at table. The family took over sponsorship of his education, his welfare, everything that would make his life comfortable enough to help him realize his own American dream. Ugbo's situation improved dramatically, he could now afford to focus on his studies, the mood and tone of his letters to Nigeria changed as well. He never stopped talking about the Americans. Although the family offered him accommodation in their home, however he preferred to stay on campus. While Ugbo found his feet back, Joan became a very happy young woman too. Naturally and unexpectedly a love relationship finally blossomed out of their relationship. Two years later, Ugbo graduated tops in the class, giving all the credit to Joan and her family. He got a job in a bank around New York, while Joan continued with Graduate school. Too many things happened to him within the next two years, he and Joan got married, within the same period they had a son they named Jonas. Somehow he was almost living a fulfilled life in America. He was living his own American dream with his young American family. Although Adem was sad when he wrote to inform them that he wanted to marry an American girl, all the same she surrendered to fate, only insisting that he should bring his American wife to Nigeria before she passed on. It was the only condition she gave to approve the marriage. "Please tell him to bring her home. I want to see that American girl with my two eyes and assess her. I hope you have written it down just the way I said it?" She emphasized to Ambu while he was replying Ugbo's letter for her. Alongside the letter, Ugbo had also sent a huge present to them, he had told them in the letter that things were now fine, he had finished school, he was working and earning good money, marriage was the next thing. Adem had wished he came home to Nigeria so that she would search and find an appropriate girl, a well trained girl with name and good background to herself. In fact she already had her eyes on a girl from the neighboring village for that purpose; but the white American girl Ugbo had mentioned in his marriage proposal had now threatened everything. She hoped he would make a good choice. Ugbo had planned to visit Nigeria with Joan before finalizing the marriage, but things did not work out as they had planned. Due to the new job in the bank, the plan failed. They rescheduled a couple of times but it still did not work out. They decided to go ahead with the marriage the very day Joan told him that she had missed her period. The next minute she was at the hospital to see her family doctor, and when the test results came out, their suspicion was confirmed. The plan was changed, the trip rescheduled to include Jonas in the picture. Barely one year after Jonas was born, Ugbo's world fell apart again. It fell in such a way that it was never going to be the same again. He had fallen sick mildly, except that he had slight pain at his abdomen and was also vomiting, so he went to see the doctor. He was sent on series of tests including a scan on the abdomen. And when his test results came out, the doctor was not satisfied, he resent him on confirmatory tests again. When the results came out the second time, they were no different from the first. The results were a terse death sentence; Ugbo had liver Cirrhosis, an advanced form of it. The specialist told them that he was in grave danger, from the condition of the organ, it would be a miracle for him to have another two years. It was a blow, a disaster to Ugbo, Joan and his in-laws. That same day he called Ambu to inform him. Without any waste of time they started him on an expensive life saving treatment regime including surgery and radiotherapy. There was a battle to save his life in one of the best health care facilities in United States. Joan's parents were willing to spend their last cent to see that he pulled through the disease, they didn't care about the cost. They were determined not to let the disease snatch away the only joy of their daughter, nor allow it to render their toddler grandson fatherless. Joan's parents did all they could because Ugbo's healthcare insurance could not cover the cost of his medical treatment. On his path, Ugbo battled the disease with the daring spirit of a survivor. He was determined to live. Back home, Adem and Nkeiru became very worried when they could not hear from Ugbo again. They kept pressurizing Ambu, but he kept making excuses for him, he kept the news of Ugbo’s terminal illness under seal and away from both women. But at a point, he couldn't bear it any longer, he broke down in tears betraying himself as he pretended to assure them that everything was normal with Ugbo. That day, he was compelled to disclose what was happening to Ugbo to both of them, while Ugbo had become silent so suddenly. "He has been ill for a while." He said forcing himself to sound as casual and calmly as he could, hoping to play down the ailment. It was like a bombshell, both Adem and Nkeiru were shocked. Nkeiru burst into tears while Adem sulked. They knew there was so much gravity in the statement not minding how much Ambu played it down. Adem touched Nkeiru. "Oh! I said it. Ugbo is dead! I knew it." She shook her head. "The moment he decided to marry that American girl, his own finished." "Adem it’s not true. Ugbo is not dead." Ambu reacted. "Tell it to a child." Adem retorted. "Just tell us whether they have already buried his corpse in far away America." She demanded, but Ambu kept denying it. The next morning, Adem fell sick, a few days later, she died at the age of ninety. Ugbo's surgery was successful. He survived and bounced back to life after the treatment regime, although his doctors warned him that he was not completely safe. "This disease always comes back in full force." They said. "We only hope you get lucky, but the chances are high. It can’t be cured completely, you only manage it." They warned. They placed him on routine drugs and follow up appointments. Sadly Ugbo never kept the appointment, he felt he was completely healed, he was free from the disease once he had no symptoms. He became careless and carefree; he even abandoned his routine drugs. Joan kept shouting and raising alarm but it fell on deaf ears. While he was negligent, his liver became subdued again. Eighteen months later, the cancer came back, and this time much more aggressively than before. He was rushed to the hospital once again. His doctors confirmed that the disease was back again; his condition was now worse than it was the first time the disease was diagnosed. They told him that he had barely three months to live. They advised him to sort out his life, to arrange his life for the eventuality of death. Joan could not bear it, so she rushed out or excused herself from the consulting room. When they got home that afternoon he braced up and decided to face the reality of his life or the inevitable end of it. He had to sort out Nigeria first. That afternoon he had a long discussion with Joan's parents. Joan could not bear to be in the discussion. They agreed on so many things, he called his lawyer for some advice, they scheduled an appointment. Later in the day, he called Ambu to update him on the new development with his health. For over three hours they talked, crying almost half of the time they spoke. He told him many things, his wishes, his will and how he was sorting out his life. It was his will that his corpse be buried in the United States, there was no need flying it down to Nigeria to build a grave monument which would put them in perpetual pain. It was not worth the effort. Ambu advised him to change his mind but he refused. It was his will that his son Jonas be left in the custody of Joan to grow and decide whether to remain an American citizen or whatever he chose. He also pleaded with Ambu to try and maintain relationship with Joan and her family after his death. They talked many things over. He poured out his regrets, he apologized for his failures, the hurts he had caused everyone or would cause them by his death. Ambu could not bear to continue with the discussion, it sounded too strange to listen to. When they both dropped the call, he could not eat for three days, he took three days casual leave to cry and mourn Ugbo, he also started a prayer session with dry fasting to cancel his death. He tried to mark the date upon which the three months would elapse on the calendar in his room, although the date had already plastered itself in his memory like a wound scar. Before the two months, they talked twice again before Ugbo stopped communicating on phone due to the disease which continued to progress. He now talked with Joan. A week shy of the three months, he started calling every day, he spoke with Joan everyday asking about update on Ugbo's health. Exactly one day the eve of the three months, Joan could no longer speak too, no one could talk to him that day, likewise the next, the phones kept ringing but no one picked it. Eventually Joan's father picked it. He told him that they were a bit busy, that Joan would call him later on. From this moment, he knew Ugbo had passed on. He cried. A day later Joan called to confirm the news to him. It was painfully over. There was nothing to discuss again, since Ugbo had willed his burial in US. He had no money to fly to the US to attend the burial. He flew home to inform Nkeiru about the sad development. Back at the village, a mock burial ceremony was carried out to mourn Ugbo. Ambu tried his best to ensure he fulfilled all that Ugbo had demanded of him in his oral will; he continued to maintain some relationship with Joan and her family. His phone calls to Joan became more frequent than when Ugbo was alive, and once in a while, Joan called him. Deep inside him just as his mother Nkeiru, everyone was convinced that it had all ended with Ugbo. As far as he did not bring Joan and Jonas to Nigeria while he was alive, he had lost Jonas to America. It was this aspect and the other fact that Ugbo did not even have a privilege of his grave in Nigeria that pained Nkeiru the most. To her Ugbo had surrendered his life to America, he didn’t just live his life in America, he also lived for them, Nigeria was only his transit route to life. The communication between Ambu and Joan was very regular during the next two years. She and he continued to keep Ugbo's memory alive. But it didn't take time for reality to dawn, their communication became a struggle for Ambu, it became something he only did to fulfill the law, he had no inner motivations nor was he very passionate any more. He even itched to forget Ugbo and move on. This was how his communication with Joan gradually reduced drastically, it got to a point he stopped calling her completely, except Joan called him, there was no more interaction between them. In one particular year, he only spoke once with Joan. Five years had now passed after Ugbo's death, his will had also been well forgotten by Ambu and Nkeiru, but Joan did not forget Ugbo. She was still remembering Ugbo like yesterday. She still nursed the wounds of his sudden demise; but more importantly, she was still desperate to fulfill his will, she was ambitious to carry out his wish, all he would have loved to actualize before the hands of death snatched him. She could remember Ugbo's greatest regret, what he considered his greatest failure --- not failure, he termed it his ingratitude to Adem and Nkeiru --- his failure to take Joan and Jonas to Nigeria while alive. It was what he regretted most. But now that he had died, Joan was desperate to fulfil that wish for Ugbo, her determination was no bit deterred by his death, rather his death strengthened her resolve. Back to Nigeria, if anyone had told Nkeiru or Ambu that Ugbo's American wife (Our American wife, as Ambu jokingly referred to her) would contemplate coming to Nigeria to find Ugbo's roots, they would both ask for the person's head to be examined. Even Adem would recoil in her grave if she were told so. It sounded like an expensive joke, a joke without base even. This was how it sounded to Ambu when Joan called to inform him that she was planning to come to Nigeria to show Jonas his roots. Ambu could not contain his laughter; he could not hold back, he almost embarrassed Joan with his laughter because she found out that there was mockery in his voice. "I don't understand! You are laughing. You don't like the idea?" Joan asked in shock. "Oh why not!" Ambu realized he could unknowingly be giving Joan an unkind impression, so he quickly comported himself. "I'm just so excited that I can't contain it." "Okay." Joan felt relaxed. "Jonas is highly excited too. He is eager to embark on this journey; he and Ugbo were very close when he was alive. And lately he has been asking a lot of questions. I think bringing him to Nigeria to show him his roots would be the greatest summer holiday experience to give him. He is already dragging the phone, please speak with him." She handed him the receiver. "Hi Uncle." Jonas was already talking. Before Ambu could reply, he had already said many things. "Mum, Granny and I are coming to see you and Grandma. I want to come and know my roots because I'm a Nigeria - I'm not an American. Daddy was planning it before he died, so we have to do his will. I hope you are expecting us?" He sounded very excited. "Oh why not! That would be very wonderful! I would take you around Nigeria." Ambu replied. "Wow! That would be nice. I would have a lot to tell my friends. I hope there are beautiful birds in Nigeria? And flowers?" He asked excitedly. "A whole lot." Ambu assured. He was now sounding very amazed. It was the first time he had a lengthy conversation with Jonas, he was pleased and proud of him. "Wow! That means I would have a lot to draw and show my friends, they are all Americans, they have only one country, but I have two." He rattled. Joan collected the phone from him. "Can I have it?" She demanded. "Alright! Bye uncle, see you in Nigeria." He said as he handed over the phone to her mum. "I guess you've heard from your nephew, how excited he is." Joan said. Ambu nodded. "He is really." Ambu said, he was not completely satisfied. "You have to pass the news to Mama. I wish there is a phone around her so that we could talk." She said. "I would tell her right away after this conversation." "Oh that would be fine." Joan responded. "We are looking at the next three weeks once our papers are through. My mum is coming along with us. We all can’t wait to storm Nigeria." This was how they ended the conversation. Later that day, Ambu wrote a letter home to Nkeiru. In the letter he wrote; Mama, Can you guess a surprise? Ambu's Oyibo wife called me today, she says she is coming to show us Ugbo's son. I would come home by weekend, then I would tell you more. Nkeiru did not believe her eyes when the portion was read to her from Ambu's letter. She was not convinced any bit. She shook her head soberly in disbelief; it brought Ugbo's painful memory back. Tears rolled from her eyes. "Nwanyi bekee Ugbo - Ugbo's white wife wants to make caricature with us. She did not come to Nigeria when Ugbo was alive, she did not talk about it then." She sighed. "Now that Ugbo is no longer alive to show her the way, she wants to contemplate what is not feasible. Oh Ugbo! Ononugbo! See the portion life handed to you. If only you had listened to us and married a real woman from Nigeria... It would not have turned out this way." She burst into tears. By weekend, Anbu came home and had a lengthy discussion on the matter with Nkeiru. Not minding the discussion he had with Joan and Jonas on phone, he was still not convinced. Just like his mother Nkeiru, he was not. He didn't want the trip, he didn't want Joan to come to Nigeria because he was convinced it would have a huge financial implication for him, which he was not ready and prepared for. So many things were out of place, they had no decent house in the village to take them to (Ugbo being the first son was supposed to build a befitting house in the village), even his two-bedroom apartment in Lagos was not very convenient. After his discussion with Nkeiru, they agreed that the best thing to do was to discourage or dissuade Joan from going ahead with the plans to come to Nigeria, although they didn't even believe her in the first place. In fact Nkeiru considered the whole story a make-up by Ambu to tease her. When Ambu had the next phone conversation with Joan on the topic, he did everything to discourage her from coming to Nigeria yet, on the grounds that they would find their trip to Nigeria very uncomfortable. He had no money to finance the trip which was his responsibility now that Ugbo was dead. He could not afford to lodge them in good hotels, he would not be able to pay for their flight and other expenses, things were rough in Nigeria due to the austerity measures and structural adjustment program by the government. He cited reasons upon reasons why Joan should suspend the trip to Nigeria. But the more he said these, the more Joan got enraged. "No, no, no. It's not your responsibility to finance this trip. It’s our trip, I'm the one to finance it not you. You don’t have to talk about hotel accommodation, house and stuffs like that, we are ready to follow you and perch on the tree if you are living on the tree. But Ubo never told me you reside on trees in Nigeria. You may not have big houses in the village but you still have home where you stay. If food is your excuse, don’t worry, we would buy all our food or come with enough here from the States. I guess there are places to buy food in Nigeria, you can’t tell me there are none. In the worst situation, we join you to eat all the sand and grasses in Nigeria, if it's what you eat in Nigeria, you haven’t all died. Ubo did not look malnourished when he came to States. You can give us more cogent reasons not to come to Nigeria, but not these ones. Perhaps you can tell me that you are racists, you don’t want us because we are different, we are whites and you are blacks, Ubo did it too. But the problem now is that it would be very unfair of you to deny Ubo's son his roots, it’s unfair to rob him of his history and heritage especially now Ubo is late. As a mother I owe him the duty to direct and guide him to his roots that is what my family stands for. That is why my Mum wants to accompany us on this trip. My family values history, we value dignity, we value culture, we value respect, we value..." She went on, and on and on. Ambu was ashamed of himself. "Please Joan I'm sorry. I was thinking... I feel it would be very awkward to have you visit Nigeria for the first time, and we don't give you the best hospitality you deserve. It would be unfair not to receive you well, make your stay great and memorable." He apologized. "I understand. You have to understand too. Materialism is different from humanism. Comforts do not make us whom we are. Nothing would be as memorable as fulfilling a wish Ubo had wanted to before he died." She explained. "Jonas and I and my entire family, we are now part of you; our history would be incomplete without Ubo. Nigeria now flows in our veins through Ubo." "You are absolutely right." Ambu acknowledged. He was now convinced. He accepted that they should come.They agreed on many things, including how he and them would identify each other at the airport since neither of them had seen each other before now. Joan explained that during the trip, she, her mother and Jonas would be wearing white T-shirts with Ugbo's face and name inscribed on both front and back. All Ambu would need to do would be to look out for two women and a little boy of five years wearing such T-shirts. They also encouraged him to wear one too if he could. After the call Ambu wrote home again to inform Nkeiru that the journey by Ugbo's wife was real, so they had to start preparation in earnest. Sadly, Joan's trip to Nigeria with her Mum and Jonas could not take place as scheduled. It was botched at the last minute due to documentation problems at the embassy. So she rescheduled it by one month. The trip could not still hold by the second scheduled date, and by the time everything was ready, summer holiday had finished. Joan had no other choice than to suspend the trip indefinitely. Ambu and Nkeiru were a bit disappointed, Jonas was unhappy, Joan could not forgive herself. It took one year later for the trip to take place, even at that, her mother could not join in the trip. Due to her ill health, her doctors advised her not to embark on the trip to Nigeria. Joan thought of rescheduling it again to enable her Mum recover, but considered it rude to do so, because of Ambu and Nkeiru. Finally, that next summer, their plane touched down at MMA Lagos. The arrival terminal was so crowded that afternoon when they landed. It took hell before they and Ambu could locate each other. Incidentally, they both started from opposing ends to look for each other. She and Jonas were searching for Ambu from the other end while Ambu was searching for them from the other. As Joan narrated later, it got to a point they got frustrated, that Jonas asked her. "Are sure we are at the right country? Are you sure uncle is really around to pick us up?" Joan said she got almost confused. Left, right and center, all around them, they could family members, friends embracing their loved ones, the shouts of joy, the warmness was in the air around them. There was no one to welcome them, she kept on looking from the picture of Ambu in her hand to the face of every man that passed. People were looking at them too, assessing them because there were few whites at the arrival hall. They appeared lost. And finally the moment came, Ambu emerged, he was almost sweating. "This looks like uncle." Jonas told his Mum as he looked from the picture to the man's face. That moment too, Ambu was looking at Joan's chest. "Joan!" He shouted. "Yes, you are Ambu?"Joan asked than said. Ambu nodded. Tears rolled down from his eyes. The next moment, they were locked up in a passionate solemn embrace in remembrance of Ugbo. He grabbed Jonas by his arm, while the little boy bombarded him with a barrage of questions. Next they went for their luggage. From the airport, he took them straight to hotel where he had booked for them. His plan was to keep them in the hotel, his mother Nkeiru would travel down to Lagos to come and meet them in the hotel, there was no plan to take them to the village. "The village was not very comfortable for them." Ambu had explained to Joan. But Joan would not have that. She was asking a lot of questions. "This is a hotel, and the last time I checked, a hotel is not a home. Nobody lives in the hotel. Even in America, no one does." She argued. Ugbo tried to placate them, but she did not accept his reasons. She altered the plan completely. They spent only two days in the hotel unlike Ambu's plan for them to spend their entire stay in Nigeria at the hotel. They also shunned Ambu's other plan to take them around the best places in Lagos for treat. "The best treat you can give Jonas on this trip would be to take him to the village to see his granny, take us to our roots, the birthplace of Ubo." She demanded. "Jonas has been at enough Disney and Lego parks. He has seen enough amusement parks and all the fun of civilization, he has seen all the spoils of modernization, he wants to see nature. If possible he wants to drink from the stream in his father's village, the things America cannot offer him. He wants to be see nature and feel what modernization has robbed it." Ambu did not have any choice, he was compelled to take them to Ugbo's remote village somewhere around Owerri. To Joan's surprise, Ugbo's village was not as backward as the picture of villages in Africa was painted. "There are villages in America too. Some of them are much more remote." She explained to Ambu and Nkeiru. Their stay in village was more memorable than they had expected. They were well received unlike she had expected. The whole village received them like royalty. She also discovered the rich taste of African cuisine. Food was more thoroughly cooked with the baked taste and flavor of wood, different from steamy watery taste of American diets; most things were organic, chicken tasted different. They ate fufu, abacha, ugba, foods that were as nutritious as they were delicious. "You know what?' She asked Ambu. Ambu shook his head. He was already lost. He was confounded with how they so easily adjusted, how they took life. Their orientation about life was different. He wished Ugbo had been alive to take the lead in showing his son his roots. "A lot of Africans have inferiority complex. You are easily intimidated, but you are very rich. You may not have the material wealth like us but you are wealthy too. You have a very rich culture and heritage. I still wonder why Ubo always talked down on this village. Even in States, there are still places without water and electricity. " Ambu was lost.