Wolf Born

Chapter Six.

I woke up the next morning in my bed at the Cabin with Alec cradling me to his chest. He had his arm wrapped tightly around my waist and was sleeping with his head on top of mine. I was curled into him, forehead pressed against his chest as I held my knees flat against his stomach, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. He was snoring lightly which I found amusing since it was nothing like Silas’ obnoxiously loud rumbles. I straightened out my legs and pushed myself up onto my elbow to take a look at the room around me. It was the exact same room with a small table off in the corner and a dresser pushed up against the wall beside the door. It was home, and despite it being much smaller than the room Silas and I had shared on Trojan territory, it was where I preferred to be. I slowly slid out from underneath Alec’s arm, causing him to stir but continue sleeping as I sat up on the edge of the bed with my legs dangling over the side. My eyes locked onto the view beyond the windowpane of the lake, causing a sense of peace to wash over me as I took a minute to admire it. I stood, my eyes boring into the glass of the window until my reflection met my gaze. My wounds and cuts from the previous day were completely healed. I glanced back at Alec from over my shoulder, knowing that it was the reason why Silas wanted us to share a bed, for the sake of my health. A small smile made its way onto my lips when I realized that Nick had most likely protested and insisted to keep his little sister away from a much older man even if he was my mate. I could smell the pork rashers and bacon from the kitchen and stepped out of the room, closing the door lightly behind me as to not wake Alec, who was shirtless and had the white covers drawn up to his hips. I followed the hall into the living room s***h kitchen area where Nick was seated at the kitchen counter, scarfing down a plate of eggs, toast, bacon and pork sausages. Silas was cleaning the dirty dishes he’d made through having made breakfast “Morning” I greeted, stretching my arms out high above my head, arching my back and standing up on the tips of my toes. A small whining sound escaped my lips before I closed my eyes, yawning into the palm of my hand. I then sunk back onto the balls of my feet and blinked my tired eyes open to find Nick staring at me with wide eyes and a fork full of egg about to enter his mouth when he froze “Put some damn clothes on” he bit out, averting his gaze. I glanced down at myself with furrowed brows. I wore one of Silas’ oversized T-shirts, paired with some blue lacy underwear, which was what I was comfortable in. Silas turned to see what Nick was on about and had to dodge when the Alpha wolf threw fork his way “Don’t look!” the fork imbedded itself into the wooden wall in front of Silas and he quickly looked away from me despite having seen me naked numerous times before. It wasn’t as bad as Nick was letting on, I was completely covered up, but his brotherly instincts were stronger than most “No throwing things in the house” I scolded, stepping up beside Silas who was looking down as he concentrated on scrubbing a pan. I reached for the fork and tugged it out of the wall before setting it down on the counter top in front of my brother. He took it and muttered something under his breath, grouching as I moved to the kitchen cabinet in the corner of the room, retrieving two plates and a set of glasses “So what time did we get back last night?” I casually asked, setting the plates down and started scooping a bit of everything onto the white porcelain surfaces. Silas set the pan aside to dry and moved on to a spatula and a whisk that he’d obviously used to mix the batter for the scrambled eggs “Around eleven, but Alec passed out a few minutes after you did” I nodded, reaching for a piece of bacon that I started nibbling on as I made my way over to the fridge, opening it to retrieve the carton of orange juice. Taking into consideration the large amount of sedatives Anthony had used to knock him out, I wasn’t expecting him to stay awake for the entire trip back to the cabin. I was just grateful that he’d managed to stay awake until we got to the pack border since I couldn’t have gotten him there on my own “He must’ve been exhausted” I muttered, unscrewing the cap of the orange juice to pour some into both glasses as I leaned one hand onto the kitchen counter with my back to my brother. I thought back to everything Alec had gone through and felt anger surge through my veins at the image of his father trying to strangle him, but before I could act upon the emotion, Nick spoke up, “Speak for yourself, you were a mess” I turned my head to look back at Nick from over my shoulder then turned my attention back to the carton in my hand. I screwed the cap back on and set it aside on the kitchen counter. I could only imagine what I’d looked like, covered in blood with matted hair, bare feet and torn clothes, not to mention clinging to consciousness for dear life “Well, I feel much better now” I said, turning to face my brother and giving him a small, reassuring smile. I then set the glasses down on the counter beside Nick along with one of the plates. I took the other and reached my free hand out to grip Silas’ upper arm. He stopped washing the dishes to look down at me from his towering height. He was the larger of the three males while Nick was the smallest, despite being of higher ranking “You need to eat” I declared, raising the plate as an attempt to motion to it. He hadn’t eaten yet and I could tell that he was starving. He nodded, finishing up the item he was busy washing and wiped his hands dry on a wash cloth as I made my way over to take a seat at the counter beside Nick who was looking at me with wide eyes “What?” I asked as Silas slid into the chair next to me. I reached to pick up my utensils and started cutting into a piece of the sausage. Nick was just about done eating and set his knife and fork down onto the empty plate “It’s customary for mates to dish up for each other” I took a bite of the sausage and glanced at Silas, who didn’t seem at all effected by Nick’s words. Silas had brought my food to my room for me enough times that it was almost normal for us to do so. I shrugged my shoulders while Nick downed the rest of his orange juice and stood up, dumping his plate into the sink along with his empty glass. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter, facing us “We weren’t exactly raised according to customs” I reminded him, glancing at Silas. His life wasn’t easy either, always living in the shadow of his brother and never being good enough in his father’s eyes. When he was younger, he tried his best to please the man who would beat him for being a ‘nuisance’ or ‘useless’ while his mother watched helpless from the sidelines. It took Silas around four years of living together in the cabin to open up to me, to tell me what he’d been through. Graham beat his wife and sometimes did it in front of Silas who was either too young to do anything or too scared. His mother ran away shortly after he was told to stay in the cabin and no one had heard from her since. Despite what he’d gone through, Silas was still the one to stop me from killing his father in the office “I’ll give you that, but I did my best to teach you some morals” Nick said, his eyes narrowing onto my form. He’d been my only form of human contact in the first ten years of my life, in which time he taught me a few things, like what we were and why he had to be kept secret from the human race. Then he went on to teach me minor things like how to properly use a fork despite me not having hands at the time or how to use a human toilet which I was extremely grateful for “So put on some clothes already!” Nick huffed, and I laughed as he looked away from me and grumbled under his breath. I remember him explaining to me why we wear clothes in our human forms. The image of a nine-year-old Nick trying to teach a wolf pup why the use of primitive fabrics was important flickered in the back of my mind. There was some shuffling in the hallway and looking towards it, I found Alec with tired eyes, shirtless and only wearing a pair of red boxers that Silas had most likely given to him to sleep in “Morning sleepyhead” I greeted, shooting him a faint smile. He smiled a small smile and lazily made his way over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he hugged me to his chest and buried his face in my neck, breathing in deeply “Morning” he groggily muttered as Nick eyed him carefully, his brotherly instincts telling him to rip Alec apart but he let it go once Alec removed his arms from around me and sat down in the seat Nick had previously been occupying “So what did I miss?” he asked, looking from me to Silas and finally to my brother. Silas was too busy eating to pay his older brother any mind and shot a look at Nick, silently telling him to answer the Beta. I scooped some eggs and bacon into my mouth and chewed, making sure to keep my mouth closed “You got knocked out by Anthony, saved by a chick and passed out in a ditch” Nick replied. By ditch he meant a small slope in the middle of the forest or at least that’s what I figured he meant. Silas swallowed a mouthful of food and reached for his glass, but it was empty, so he took mine, taking a large gulp before setting it back down beside my plate. I was used to it, so I didn’t pay it much mind “Where are we?” Alec asked, glancing around at the room and taking in the sight of the brown couches along with the fireplace that was currently not in use due to it being summer. Silas was the one to speak, setting his utensils down and getting up from his seat “It’s where Blake and I’ve been living for the past couple of years” he picked up his plate and set it down in the sink, going right back to washing the dishes once he’d warmed the water back up. There was a distant look on Alec’s face as he glanced around the kitchen as if he was lost in thought. I scooped some scrambled eggs and bacon onto a slice of toast and bit into it, kicking my legs back and forth beneath me as I savored the taste “It’s…nice” Alec muttered as I finished eating and downed the rest of my juice. I stood and rolled out my aching shoulders. I noticed that Alec’s eyes were glued onto me, his eyes trailing down to my rear and slipping down my bare legs. I took my plate and glass and walked around the counter to place them in the sink, grabbing one of the drying cloths to start drying the dishes “You should get moving, training starts at nine” Silas warned, glancing at the clock above the kitchen sink. I knelt, down to place the dried pan in the cabinet underneath the sink. Nick raised an eyebrow up at Silas’ words as I stood and threw the cloth at him, hitting him square in the chest “Make yourself useful” I said to which Nick glanced down at the cloth with furrowed brows. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned to head back to my room, getting dressed in a pair of grey leggings, my white trainers and a black sports bra. I threw my hair up into a high ponytail since I was already clean which meant that Silas had more than likely bathed me the night before. I exited the room with a roll of black tape in hand, wrapping my knuckles as I stepped back into the kitchen. Nick was actually packing away the dishes while Alec scooped some breakfast onto a plate “You ready?” Silas asked to which I nodded and bit down on the tape, tearing it to finish binding my hands. I tossed him the tape which he caught and banged my fists against each other, it was a habit of mine. Silas began wrapping his knuckles as Nick slumped back into a chair at the kitchen counter “Don’t think you’re getting out of this” Silas warned, shooting Nick a look. The Alpha groaned in protest but stood up from his seat, slapping his palm flat against the surface of the counter. Alec poured himself a glass of orange juice as Silas finished wrapping his hands and slid the tape across the counter in Nick’s direction. I followed Silas into the backyard through the sliding glass doors that sat beside the kitchen area and bounded down the steps. I was looking forward to training, mostly because I’d managed to learn some control over my wolf while we were on Trojan territory and wanted to test it out. Nick trailed behind as Alec took a seat at the small table on the back porch to watch us as he ate. Nick finished his hands and set the tape down on the table, following us out onto the grass patch near the lake “I want to see what you’re made of” Silas announced, turning his attention onto Nick. Alec had personally trained Nick which meant that he was a skilled fighter much like Jake and me. I stepped back a few paces, expecting Silas to challenge him, but instead the Beta turned his eyes onto me “You’ll be going up against him, Luna” I was surprised but excited, nodding as I took a stand opposite my brother. Nick grinned, his eyes filling with challenge and motivation. He didn’t want to fight Silas, but it was clear that he wanted to face me. I could tell that he was curious about my abilities as a fighter as well as what made me special “First one to knock out the other, wins” Silas announced. I froze, looking at him since we usually went along with the rule of first blood, but he knew it would be an interesting fight and he wanted to see just how far we could push ourselves for the journey that awaited us ahead. We still had to locate and retrieve the remaining two wolf born wolves to keep them safe from the larger threat, and doing that will have cause for intense training “You may begin” Silas said, and Nick stayed rooted in place. It was a tactic that Alec and his brother used, and one I could easily get around due to my training. I just had to push his buttons, to trick him into thinking he had the upper hand when really, he didn’t. Instead of attacking like everyone expected me to, I just stood there, calmly, eyes watching Nick’s every move even if it was just a twitch or his eyes blinking. He eventually got tired of waiting and attacked, racing towards me, but I arched my back, and flipped back onto the palms of my hands to put some distance between us as he rained a punch down on the area where I used to be. I moved to strike me again, but I lowered my feet back onto the ground and crouched low enough to dodge his blow. Kicking my leg out, I managed to hook my foot around his ankle and kicked his feet out from under him, causing him to fall onto his back. The air left his lungs and he gasped as I took a few steps away from him, putting some distance between us and giving him a fare chance to get onto his feet. He stood, eyes glaring at me, assessing me as I swayed on my feet, propping my hip to the side. His claws extended as he lunged, aiming for my stomach. I leaned back to dodge his attack, but he changed tactics, dragging his clawed hand up from my stomach, over my chest and chin. I stumbled back while he skidded to a stop in the grass, a smirk plastered across his lips as he watched me. Blood polled out from my chest and four distinct claw marks sat on my chin also leaking blood. My sports bra was shredded, clinging to my chest through the use of thin strands, but I was covered enough to touch my chin, looking down at my blood covered fingertips and decide to counter attack. Alec tensed in the background, about to move to come to my aid but Silas stopped him with a sharp look. I lowered my hand back to my side and balled my fists, hearing my wolf howling at the back of my mind as she struggled against her shackles. I took off running as fast as my legs would carry me and aimed a fist for his right side. He dodged to the left as I skidded to a stop beside him, bringing my arm forward and glancing back at Nick from over my shoulder before ramming my elbow into his face. A c***k sounded which meant that his nose was broken. He took a step back to stable himself as I twisted, my foot hitting him in the center of his chest, sending him flying back. He flew into the base of a tree, his mouth gaping as his back connected with the rough material and most likely fractured his spine in some places because of the force of his impact. I turned to look at my wolf in her cage, biting at her shackles, and slowly made my way towards her, stepping through the bars of her cage, but before I could touch her shackles, Nick was back onto his feet. He’d surprised me by recovering as quickly as he did and popped up at my side, fist raised with a crazed look in his eyes as he punched me, causing my head to whip to the side and blood to splatter out from my mouth from having bit my tongue. I didn’t have time to recover before Nick sent his foot down on my knee, snapping it. I cried out in pain as the bone shattered and squeezed my eyes shut when Nick grabbed hold of my arm, flipping my body over his back and down onto the ground. I tumbled over a few times until I came to a stop, my leg throbbing as I tried pushing myself up onto my hands and knees. My body was covered in scratches, cuts and bruises as I looked down at my trembling arms, trying to hold my body weight up. I got a flash back from the fight with Anthony for a moment but pushed it aside. I laughed, a loud, throaty sound as I forced myself up onto my feet, barely able to place any weight on my broken leg but I gritted my teeth, coping with the pain. I kept my head down as I reached a hand out to touch my wolf’s shackles, allowing them to shatter until only the red thread connected the two of us. I wrapped my hand around the threat and gave her control. She raised her head and looked at Nick with glowing eyes and a sickly-sweet smile, exposing her canines while her black claws lengthened at her side “I’m starting to like her bringing me out to play” my wolf said, letting everyone know that I was no longer in control of my body. Alec stood abruptly from his seat, causing his chair to tumble to the ground as Silas tensed, his eyes wide as he watched us. I watched as my wolf began limping towards Nick, his eyes filled with horror and his hands shaking at his sides. She didn’t feel the pain, I did, crumbling in her cage as she took charge grinning with a sadistic gleam in her eyes. It was a pro when it came to fighting that no matter how much pain I was in, she could still fight regardless of broken limbs or gaping wounds. It didn’t take long for our leg to heal, the bone clicking back into place and allowing her to walk with the grace of a starving, hungry predator. Nick tried to attack, moving forward but she shot ahead, digging her clawed hand straight through his torso and out the other side. She smiled down at him when his knees began to buckle “You’re kind of cute” my wolf said, her voice deeper than mine by a few octaves and laced with a sinister tone when she’d speak. It sounded somewhat seductive, compared to my voice. She removed her hand from his torso and gripped his chin in her bloody hand, bringing his face closer to hers “I think I’ll keep you around for now” with that she shoved him back, sending him falling to the ground. He passed out for a few seconds as she turned to face Alec and his brother, located on the back porch. She was impossible to control but as long as I didn’t allow her to shift and entertained her to some extent, it was manageable. She lowered her head to look down at our body “Stay away from that Beta” she warned me, referring to Silas as she turned around in her cage and took a stand beside me, waiting for me to tug on the threat and reattach her shackles. As soon as she was contained, I fell back in the cage, breathing hard while in real life I dropped to my knees, gasping as I gazed up at the sky, canines disappearing and eyes dulling. Nick was in bad shape, but he’d heal much faster than I would, so I wasn’t too worried as I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against the grass and closing my eyes as a small smile made its way onto my lips. My wolf didn’t put up a fight, she didn’t try to kill my brother and complied to being shackled. It was a step in the right direction which meant that if I practiced long and hard enough that I’d possibly get to shift one day.

I slumped down onto one of the porch chairs, tilting my head back and closing my eyes as I groaned. Nick sat down beside me, rubbing at his broken nose that he snapped back into place. His body had no traces of wounds despite the blood that coated his torso and face. I on the other hand was covered in fresh claw marks that ran up from my chest to my chin, unable to heal at the rate that normal wolves could. Alec had gone to take a shower, leaving the two of us alone with a silent, brooding Silas “What the hell was that?” Nick asked, looking at me as I placed my arms up onto the armrests, raising my foot to press it against the side of the table, my knee propped up and close to my chest. I was gasping, fighting the pain that surged through me from my wounds, adrenaline no longer fueling me, but I knew that I had to teach myself how to handle pain more effectively “It’s something I picked up on while fighting Anthony” I managed to get out in between pants. My hands gripped the armrests, nails digging into the wood as I gritted my teeth, eyes squeezed tightly shut as a wave of pain shot through me. I had to remind myself not to push my body past its limits in the future “What you did was reckless” Silas bit out, leaning against the frame of the porch and staring out onto the lake. I opened my eyes just a c***k and stared up at the roof of the porch. There was a part of me that knew Silas would react the way he was, and then there was another part that hoped he wouldn’t make a scene about it “I’m trying to learn control over her” I began, turning to glance back at the wolf trapped in her cage. She was curled up into a ball, fast asleep as I tried to fight off the pain. I thought back to her last words ‘Stay away from that Beta’. It was clear that she’d referred to Silas since Alec was our mate and it would be impossible for her to want to distance herself from him “I can become stronger, I can protect all of-.” I was cut off by Silas banging his fist into the porch frame, causing it to tremble, and silencing me. Was my wolf trying to warn me that he’d react this way or was there something else I couldn’t quite see that she could? “You have to think before you act, what if someone got hurt?” he demanded, setting off a fire inside of me. My eyes widened, pupils shrinking as my grip on the chair’s armrests tightened. I shot up from my seat, my hands slamming down on the table as I stood on unsteady legs “Do you honestly believe that I could ever place the people I love in harms way?” I questioned, my teeth clenched, and my head hung low. The sliding glass door slid open to reveal Alec, his hair still wet from his shower and white T-shirt clinging to his torso like it was a second skin. Neither I nor Silas paid him any attention while Nick sat, eyes wide as he looked between the two of us “I would never do something unless I was completely sure that it wouldn’t negatively affect you” my hands balled on the surface of the table, clenching as I felt the familiar sting of tears starting to well up in my eyes. Silas was still, eyes locked onto me as he watched my every movement “Do you have any idea what it’s like to live in constant fear?” I demanded, a surge of pain shooting through me as my arms shook. My chin stung when I spoke, but I had to get the words out there, I had to make him understand what I was going through and why I wanted to learn control over my wolf, even if it was just an ounce of dominance “Fear that I’ll end up hurting you” the words were a low whisper as they escaped my lips. My eyes dried when I realized what I was saying. I had never spoken to anyone about what it was like to be a wolf born or what its affects were on me, not even Silas, but there I was, revealing my darkest fear to all of them. I stood upright, stepping back and away from the table so that my hands were hung loosely at my sides “I want control so that one day I may live free of this constant fear” I raised my head, looking off to the side where dark clouds were starting to roll overhead. A rumble sounded in the heavens and a strong breeze whipped through my hair. Alec was the first to move, reaching his hand out to take hold of mine, giving it a small squeeze. I turned my head to look up at him “I support what you’re trying to do, and if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know” I was grateful for his support, but it wasn’t his blessing that I wanted, it wasn’t the look of compassion and understanding in his eyes that I wanted to see. I wanted Silas to be the one gripping my hand, to be the one offering to help me. My jaw tensed as I nodded and pulled my hand away from his “I’m going to go for a jog” I announced, stepping past my brother and brushing shoulders with Silas as I made my way down the porch steps. My vision was starting to blur but I ignored it and took off towards the tree line. I had to clear my head, to figure out what I was feeling. There were so many emotions swirling around in my head, so many different things becoming jumbled as I ran through the trees, following a familiar trail. I was in pain, but it was nothing compared to the ache of my heart. What’s wrong with me? The thought drifted through my mind as I pushed myself to go faster, a light drizzle starting to pour down from above. The water began washing away the dried blood, leaving only my wound in its wake. I broke through, into a small clearing and bent over, placing my hands on my knees as I panted heavily. Silas had never acted like he had before, he’d always tried to understand what I was going through, to try and see things from my perspective and almost always agreed with my decisions. I knew that not everyone could always agree with you, but that didn’t stop the ache in my chest that came from him scolding me like a child. Was it that or was it the fact that I wanted him to comfort me and instead he stood back while Alec tried to play the role? I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing in deeply before I screamed the words “Why do I feel this way?” my hand reached up to grip my chest where my heart was pounding, each beat feeling like a cut directly into my soul. It was hard to breathe as I fell to my knees and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against my kneecaps. I listened to the sound of my voice echoing throughout the mountains, but wasn’t expecting the answer to come as quickly as it did ‘You love him’ I stiffened, turning to look back at the cage to find my wolf watching me with her head low and tail hung. She was shackled to the center of the cage but despite that, she was completely calm. I was on the concrete floor in front of her cage, eyes searching hers, and in that moment my eyes snapped open to look down at the damp forest floor as the rain began to pour down onto me. I raised my hand to cup my mouth, eyes filling with tears as the realization hit me. It was why she’d told me to stay away from Silas, she knew long before I did that I was in love with him despite having found my mate. Tears began to flow from my eyes, mixing in with the rain as a strangled cry escaped my lips, muffled by my hand. There was rustling followed by Silas’ voice calling out for me, but I couldn’t face him, I couldn’t look him in the eye. I forced myself onto my feet and ran, slumping down behind a large boulder that was nearby and praying that he wouldn’t catch my scent. I needed time to think, I needed to figure out what I was going to do. His calls began to fade until it was just the sound of the pouring rain, ringing in my ears. I let go of my mouth and banged my fist into the soil, throwing my head back to look up at the dark sky as tears trailed down the side of my face. I had spent most of my life with Silas, eating, training and sometimes even sleeping together in the same bed. He’d helped me when no one else would, he’d taught me everything I knew. He was everything to me, my brother, best friend and in my eyes, he was my lover. I could feel my wounds tugging as I curled in on myself, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my face in them as the cuts on my chin and chest stung from the movement. Despite wanting to be with him, I hardly knew if he felt the same, I also knew that he’d place his brother’s happiness above his own and convince me to be with my mate instead. I knew I loved him ever since I was little, but I’d never wanted to admit it, over time I began to identify those emotions as attachment from having to depend on him, but they weren’t, they were so much more. My eyes opened, and my hands clenched when I realized what I had to do, nothing. My first priority was to obtain and protect the remaining wolf born wolves. I couldn’t let my emotions get in the way of that, so I would suppress them, pretend like they didn’t exist, until my job was done. I wasn’t important, but they were and whether Silas agreed with my decision to learn control over my wolf or not, I was going to do it, for the sake of my kind. I was going to give them hope that they could come to understand and bond with their wolves even if it killed me. Minutes bled into hours with the rain eventually letting up and the sun having long since set over the horizon. I stood from my position and began making my way back towards the cabin. I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings as I turned to face my wolf, she was looking at me with a piercing gaze. She wanted Alec and I wanted Silas, two entirely different people trapped in the same body with different opinions and personalities. She turned her back to me and lied down in the back of her cage, it was clear that she didn’t agree with me, and that it caused some conflict between us, but the fact that I wasn’t going to act upon my desires had her calm for the time being. Before I knew it, I was stood outside the cabin, eyes staring at the front porch where a lamp was hung, shining light into the darkness. I felt weak, I felt dead, eyes empty and expression bare as I made my way up the steps and opened the front door. Nick was lounging in an armchair while Alec sat on the couch, his legs crossed as he stared blankly ahead at the fireplace, eyes filled with worry. Silas was sitting at the kitchen counter, elbows propped up onto its surface with his hands folded together and chin resting on top of them. The moment I stepped inside, Nick jumped up from his seat “Blake” he frantically said, alerting the others who looked at me, but I ignored them, walking right past all of them and heading to my room where I grabbed some clean clothes, and went to take a long shower. I let the water wash over my naked body, noting that the wounds had healed a bit, but I was still far from being fully recovered. I placed my palms flat against the shower wall, watching as dirt and blood flowed down into the shower drain. There was a moment in the madness that I found myself trying to understand what Alec must’ve been feeling. He would always be there for me, he’d proven it, and most likely felt like I was pushing him away by having run off like I did. I closed the tap and stood staring at the wall for a few minutes until I eventually got out, wrapping a towel around me as I dried my hair. I dressed in a pair of cream underwear and one of Silas’ long sleeve shirts. The shirt was brown and smelt of dirt and fresh rain, his scent, a scent I’d grown so accustomed to, yet it didn’t cause my canines to ache like Alec’s did. I left the bathroom, one shoulder bare, as the shirt fell down over it, my hair down and damp from the steamy water. I fled to my room, closing the door behind me as I went over to switch the small lamp on my bedside table on, filling the dark room with some sort of light. I closed the curtains, and sat back on the edge of my bed, feet brushing over the wooden flooring as my fingers fiddled with the bedsheets. There was a light knock at the door and my muscles tensed since Alec’s scent wasn’t near and Nick wouldn’t have knocked which meat that it could only be one person. I didn’t bother turning to look as the door clicked open and he stepped inside, closing it behind him. My back was to him, eyes staring at the wall ahead “I brought you some dinner” he announced, going over to set the trey down on the small table in the corner of the room. He then moved towards me, taking a stand in my line of sight but he was so tall that I was left looking at his torso. The fact that I loved him had come as a sudden blow that left me confused, deranged and exhausted. I didn’t dare move, hoping that he’d go away, but instead he knelt, down in front of me so that our eyes locked “Blake…” he trailed off, reaching out to touch my face, his thumb tracing the area near my wounded chin, four claw marks stretching from my chin up to my bottom lip. I wanted to lean into his touch, but refrained from doing so, my new-found feelings forcing me to keep him at a distance. He stood and went over to the cabinet pressed up against the wall opposite my bed to retrieve the small first aid kit that he kept there. He returned to my side, setting the kit down on the mattress beside me and digging through it for a piece of cotton and the rubbing alcohol. I watched as he wet the cotton and reached out to lightly bad my chin, I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut as I leaned back, teeth gritting from the stinging sensation. Silas pulled away, searching my face for when I calmed back down then started cleaning my wound again. This time I was expecting it and managed to stay completely still as he worked, his free hand gripping my knee. He finished my chin, and used his index finger to tilt my head back slightly, exposing smaller gashes on my neck. I looked up at the ceiling as he dabbed at my neck, sterilizing the wounds to help prevent infection “Take off your shirt” I tensed, eyes wide as I stared upward. He’d finished with my neck and leaned back slightly to give me room. I lowered my head, glancing down at my hands that were bunching the material of the shirt in my lap. The old me wouldn’t have hesitated so to prevent him from finding out about my secret, I nodded, hands gripping the fabric and slowly tugging it over my head until my breasts bounced free and I was left half naked in front of him. He didn’t seem affected by it, instead wetting another cotton ball to dab at the claw marks that ran down the center of my chest “I’m sorry” I moved my gaze from the far wall to meet his eyes when he stopped working for a few seconds. I breathed in deep then swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat “I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through” he explained, going back to looking at my chest, dabbing at the wounds. My breath caught in my throat when his hand lightly brushed over one of my n*****s. I turned my head away, looking at anything, but at him. A light blush coated my cheeks as I lowered my head, causing my crimson hair to fall like a perfect curtain over my face, hiding the blush from Silas’ view. My stomach tightened, suddenly self-conscious of my body where, in the past, I didn’t mind him seeing me naked, having him bathe me numerous times before “But I should’ve known better than to think that you’d ever risk our lives” he muttered, eyes roaming over my chest when he pulled away to begin wrapping my chest in bandages. He then wrapped my neck and taped my chin with gauze to act as protective surfaces. He stood once he was finished and began packing everything away in the first aid kit, throwing the used cotton away in the small trashcan beside the door “So for that, I’m sorry, Luna” he returned to kneel in front of me, his hands gripping my knees and rubbing circles on their bare skin. I breathed in shakily, my voice dying down in my throat when I opened my mouth to speak. His chocolate brown eyes bored into mine, staring straight into my soul as he reached out to take hold of my hand in both of his “I’m here if you need me” my eyes widened, there it was, the kind and caring Silas that always tried his best to understand what I was going through, the one who always agreed with me. He was the Silas I wanted that afternoon, the one I’d wanted to hold my hand, and tell me that he’d be there for me no matter what. My eyes searched his features, lingering on his lips for a few seconds too long when I felt the undeniable need to press my own lips against them. I looked down at our hands, nodding my head “Thank…you” I managed to get out, my hand leaving his to grip his upper arm. I leaned in and placed a quick kiss to his temple, which was something we’d done hundreds of times before, so he didn’t pay any mind to it. My grip tightened slightly with a need to throw myself into his arms but I sat back, letting my hand drop away from him and back into my lap as he got up off the ground, a small smile making its way onto his lips “I made some hake with rice and a side of onion rings” I shot him a forced smile since he’d gone through the trouble of making onion rings, most likely because he’d felt bad for what he’d done, but I didn’t blame him for anything, I couldn’t possibly be mad at him, but I was devastated that I couldn’t tell him how I felt “Desert?” I asked, reaching for his abandoned shirt to tug it back over my head. My chest was already covered with bandages, so I didn’t feel so exposed. Silas grinned when I stood and ran his fingers through the hair on the top of my head “Apple pie” I leaned into his touch, only moving towards the small table when he let go of me. I had to do my best to pretend like everything was exactly like it used to me, at least for the time being. He sat with me as I ate, every now and then talking about random things like Alec and Nick getting into an argument over the last bit of mint chocolate ice cream or what our plans were in the morning when we’d leave for Fenrir territory where our first wolf born target was situated. That night I was forced to sleep next to Alec, his arm wrapped around my waist, sending tingles up the back of my spine. My wolf was content, but I couldn’t think about anything other than Silas. His smile, his eyes, his hands and arms. I fell asleep to the thought of him despite lying beside his brother, my mate.