Intended Hands

PROLOGUE

Until I met her, my sanity was my most valuable possession. Everything was different now. In the blink of an eye, I'm captivated with a girl who isn't even part of my imagination.

That explains why I'm here again under this old acacia tree, waiting for her. I badly want to see her and her smile, not minding the ants attacking my poor feet.

I observed how crowded the school grounds were, so I looked into her classroom just in time to see her come out. She's wearing her school uniform, a white polo shirt and a black pencil skirt. Her face had a dark vibe on it, which I noticed. Her wavy shoulder-length hair is down, and she wears lipstick. Everything is new. When did she start applying makeup to her face? Well, she looks stunning, but I'm not used to seeing her like that. Even without make-up, she is gorgeous. However, that's part of her life choice, I shouldn't interfere. Still, I can't help but get a strange feeling. What's with the sudden change? I was worried about her until I saw her smiling alone, as if she was thinking about something amusing. Maybe I was overthinking things? I shrugged my thoughts. I think far too much.

Smiling like an i***t, I walked toward her. Wait, did I just say I'm an i***t? Anyway, we were meters apart when she noticed me. I saw her startled, quickly retracting her gaze away from me. I ignored her actions but was confused when she started moving to the opposite direction. I stopped for a moment as I watch her walking away, widening the gap between us. I know she noticed me. I really wanted to talk to her and seeing her walk away crushed my heart.

It's been a week since we last saw each other. Is she still mad at me? But we talked it over the phone yesterday, I thought we're good.

I was busy pondering what the hell did I do wrong this time. I know she won't ignore me like that if everything's right. She doesn't have that habit. She always talks to me if something is bothering her.

I ran toward her direction, trying to close the gap she created. But she's too persistent avoiding me even though she knew I was after her. I've been following her, but instead of slowing down she just kept on walking as fast as she could. I called her name, thinking she would stop, that she would at least look at my direction. But she didn't. Not even a glance.

She's giving it her all simply to get away. It seemed as if something horrible was after her, and she didn't want to glance back for fear of anything bad might happen or something she didn't want would happen again. That something could very well be me. Just merely imagining that fact already makes me sad.

She finally stopped and looked at me. The kind of look that pierces right through your heart, filled with disgust and disappointment. She frowned. "Stay wherever you are. Please, stop following me. I don't want to see you ever again." She briefly paused, then went on again hurriedly. Why can't she talk to me? How much more do I have to chase her before we can talk properly?

"What seems to be the problem, Ava? Aren't we fine yesterday?" I calmly said. I'm trying to be more patient since I know she's furious. Because what's the point of raising my voice just to ask and prove a point anyway? It would just aggravate the situation.

She turned her back on me once again, preventing eye contact. I waited for her to speak, until she said what I've been fearing to hear the most. "I love someone else. It's all a lie. I didn't love you, not even a moment." She finally looked at me in the eye like she wants to prove that all she just said was true. But no, I won't believe any of that. I was recalling some memories with her, maybe I did something wrong, I just can't remember what it was. But good God, I really can't remember anything!

"Let's talk about this after you calm down, please?" I begged her. She shook her head and said, "Just leave Isaac, I am not putting any shows here. I already said what's supposed to be said."

I don't know how I ended up this close to her but she's only about a foot away from me now. It made me easily grab her shoulders, forcing her to look at me. I held it firmly as she was trying to get out of my grip, flailing as if she's trying to break my arms.

"What happened? Why did you say those words? Ava, I know it's all lie! Don't try to fool me." I said with a tone I can't even recognize.

"Wake up! I told you it was just for show. I'm in love with someone else, and he wants to get even with you but doesn't know how, so I did it for him." I should be prepared to hear those words, the naked truth that could render me insane, but why am I still surprised? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why must someone shatter another person's heart just to end up with the one they truly love? Why should I have to go through this when all I did was love her earnestly?

She started running. I saw a truck approaching her as she crossed the road, but she kept running away, clueless to her surroundings. Didn't she even notice the incoming truck?! I called her repeatedly. She didn't respond, Jesus I don't think she can even hear me. I ran faster, desperately trying to make it in time. When I saw her collide with the truck, my heart beat quicker than it ever did in my life. No, please. Not her. I'll do anything just to keep her safe. Alive and breathing. Please don't take her from me. Even if she wasn't supposed to be with me in the first place. Allow her to... live. Allow her to be... happy with someone she cares and love. I'm going to keep my distance. Simply... keep her alive.

I went to her and held her body. Ignoring the blood covering her, I cried as I saw her unconscious. Are we really not meant to be happy together? It's funny how my heart broke after hearing her say those words earlier, just to end up seeing her in this situation. What a useless fool I am. I can't even protect the woman I love, instead put her life in peril. "I'm sorry," was all I can mutter.

When the ambulance arrived, they took her from my arms. I wanted to keep holding her, but I knew I had to let go. They took her away from me, and I let them. They attempted to save her, but she was proclaimed dead afterwards. I can't believe how swiftly everything happened. We were just talking a few minutes ago, and now... she's gone.

I knew there was no chance she'd live because miracles rarely happen to anyone, yet I still hoped she would.

I'm hoping to see her tomorrow. I'm hoping to see her smile once more. I'm hoping she makes it. If only I had the ability to return everything. I'm not going to follow her. I'm not going to meet her.

S-she wouldn't be gone. I... I wouldn't be hugging her dead body!