Intended Hands

Chapter 2

We are inside his car parked in front of our house. He wants to see me after I told him over the phone that I can accompany him today.

I told Lu about what my mother said a few days earlier. I noticed he was uneasy while listening to me, so I asked him what was up. He said that he’s anxious about me going to school. He jokes about having an attractive classmate and leaving him for that person. It never even crossed my mind. I was all enthusiastic about buying things and going to university, and he comes up with that thought? That’s one characteristic of a possessive boyfriend. I take back what I said. He also has red flags.

He reached over me and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Where do you want to go, then?” He asked.

I bit my bottom lip before I even uttered a sound. I was hesitant to tell him what was on my mind because I knew he would be disappointed. We planned to watch a movie together long time ago, which he wanted to watch at the cinema today. However, I had to cancel it for some reason. Earlier, he said he was fine with my decision. I know he just wants some time with me, so I can't help but feel bad about it now that he asks me where I’m going. I'm sure he's been really anticipating it today. I'm a terrible person. Very insensitive of me but still, the idea was ridiculous.

I crossed my fingers and said, “You can… watch the movie.” I’m afraid that he’ll be

mad so I looked away. Why do I have to accompany him everywhere? Can't he just watch by himself? Do we have to arrange everything together, such as watching movies or traveling? Is that how relationships work? Is it just me, or does it feel suffocating? I don’t know, maybe I'm not that comfortable around him, that’s why it feels suffocating.

I mentally rolled my eyes.

Dammit.

Why did I ever get myself in such a ridiculous situation?

"Do you mean… I'll leave you here alone so I can watch the movie by myself?" I nodded carefully, taking in all he was saying. He’s not mad, right? So, what do I do now? What am I supposed to do? I don't want to go. I'm not even a fan of the movie he recommended. I'm not sure I'd like it. So, what is the point of wasting time? Is he incapable of comprehending? Of course, he won't understand because I didn't say anything, I mentally cried out of frustration if that’s even possible.

Lu leans into the car window. “Tell me honestly, where are you going or what plan do you have in mind?” I look at him in shock. Am I being cornered? I don't want to lie but I don't want him to know my plans either. Even though I don’t have plans yet.

I combed my hair with my fingers and look outside. "I just want to stay at home. I don't have enough energy to go with you. I'll just bore you." Overused reasons Ava.

He takes my hand and makes me look at him. "Are you feeling good?" he asks. "Yes, It's just that I'm not in the mood," I replied.

He's staring at my hand closely as if pondering something while he gently caresses it. "OK, I understand," he continues, "you can leave now if you want to rest."

I stared at him for a moment, trying to process his words, thinking I misheard him. But what the? Did he just push me to leave? Yes, I want to leave right now, but he's making me feel bad! Guilt-tripping asshole.

I immediately get out of the car, feeling offended. "Thank you, then," I said sarcastically with a fake smile plastered on my face. "Drive safely."

He nods and waves goodbye, apparently unconcerned with my behavior. I close my eyes and exhale. Whatever.

Instead of going inside. I decided to take a walk here in the subdivision just to relax. This is the first time he has behaved that way. He was always sweet and considerate. Is he bothered by something? Is it possible that I've overacted to the point where he can no longer take it? Should I go in with his demands? But I don't want to be forced to do things I don't want to do merely to please someone.

Anyway, I shouldn't be thinking about it because the talk has already ended.

It took me half an hour walking until I decided to go home because the clouds are getting darker, seems like the rain is about to pour. I called mom as I got home but dad said she was out of town. It was an emergency so she didn't have enough time to say goodbye.

When I make it to my bedroom door, dad asks me, "When are you going to buy your school stuff?" He looks at me and continues, "Take this money and buy everything you need." He said as he gives me the cash. I took it because I do need it. I don't have much money to buy everything I need for school. "Thank you, Dad." He nodded.

See how lucky, I am. That's why I don't have plans of disappointing them.

I hopped into my closet to change my clothes because I'm thinking of buying my stuff, right now. I already have the money so why waste time?

I was inside the car when I realized, what if I bump into Lu? What if he did watch the movie alone and saw me strolling into the mall? What am I gonna do? God definitely won’t let me enter his kingdom for all these lies. I don't want to add another lie so I'm going to ask where he is.

I took my phone out of my pocket and search for him in my contacts. After a few beeps, he answered my call.

"Hey, where are you?" I asked.

"I'm home, why?" He replied. I don't know what to say because the excitement runs all over my veins.

"Nothing. Just to make sure... you got home safe and sound." Another lie. God bless your soul, Ava.

We hung up after saying our goodbyes. I walked confidently as I enter the mall because I’m sure he wouldn’t be here. It was suffocatingly loud and crowded.

I went straight to the national bookstore because that's the main reason why I am here.

There will be so many things I am planning to buy, so I carried a shopping cart with me. I believe I will need to buy books as well, since I was almost done reading all my books at home.

I started looking for pens. As I was trying out the pens, someone bumped my shoulder. I was going to look at that individual when I noticed Lucius walking through the mall corridor with a girl holding his arms.

What the hell?

Did I just catch him with someone else? I hid on the shelf until they are out of my sight.

I stood up and hurriedly made my way out of the bookstore, afraid that he might see me.