Perfect Promise

Charlie

I told Rudy the truth.

“We can still work this out, Charlie,” he pleaded after he took a moment to process, taking me in his arms and kissing me gently.

“Rudy, I’m sorry. I can’t be with you,” I pulled away from him and hurried to my room.

Not knowing what else to do, I instinctively called Noah. I felt so lonely. Blaire had gone back to California, where she lived, although her sisters living in London. Maia had gone out with Jordan, Amber, Quinn, and Erys. I didn’t want to ruin their good time. Besides, Noah was the person I really wanted at that moment. I hated to admit it, but I part of me felt so special to know that she was sacrificing her time with Gavyn to spend time with me.

Within minutes, Noah barged into my room. Even with the twinge of happiness, I was still sobbing. I couldn’t control myself. Noah dropped her purse on the ground and rushed over to hug me tightly. Knowing I was unable to speak coherently through my tears, Noah didn’t ask what was wrong. Instead, she led me over to the bed. She sat on the bed and had me lie down and rest my head in her lap. It was the most comforting thing she could have done.

As the tears slowed, Noah began to coax me into telling her what was going on. She was understandably concerned. I didn’t know whether or not to tell her. On one hand, I wanted to tell her everything. On the other, I knew things would never be the same if I did.

“Please, Charlie, I’m here for you,” Noah said, “Let me be here for you.”

“I broke up with Rudy,” I told her at last.

My best friend bent down and kissed my forehead gently. The feeling of her lips lingered on my skin. My heart yearned for more, but I stopped myself from leaning into her closer. A best friend was all she was. She would never see me as more, even if I did.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know."

"Tell me about it," she encouraged me.

Before I could stop myself, I let myself ramble on about the breakup. Noah listened attentively as I told her about my brief time with Rudy. I liked the feeling of being liked. I liked the feeling of dating someone. No matter how much I wanted to, I just didn’t have the feelings for Rudy that he had for me. I admired him greatly. I looked up to him more than most. I simply didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. I wanted to be in a relationship with someone else.

I managed to stop myself from telling her who I actually wanted to be in a relationship with. I had sworn Rudy, Maia, and Blaire to secrecy. I knew that once I told Noah about my feelings for her, everything as I knew it would end. My friendship with her would be forever altered by this unrequited love.

“How did you know you had feelings for someone else?” Noah asked.

“Listening to Blaire talk about her sexuality and her feelings for her crushes in the past really helped me discover my own feelings,” I was as honest as possible.

“Who is he? Do I know him? Is he cute? Are you going to ask him out on a date?”

“I don’t think this person likes me back.”

“Who wouldn’t like you back? Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

Everything inside of me wanted to yell out,“You!” I had enough self restraint not to. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation. Instead, I gave Noah a slight shrug. She could see that I was drained. It had been a long day of pretending everything was okay. I didn’t have it in me to listen to my best friend tell me she didn’t love me.

She responded by running her fingers through my long hair. She didn’t ask me anymore questions, even though I could see how much she wanted to. Instead, when I was ready to move, Noah tucked me into bed. She ran to her room quickly to change into her pajamas, then came back to spend the night with me. Noah held my head against her chest. I fell asleep to her heartbeat.

Getting out of bed the next morning was difficult. I didn’t want to face the day. I didn’t want to leave Noah’s side. After some convincing, Noah got me out of bed and brought me to the kitchen to make some coffee. I sat on a stool at the island as I watched Noah take care of me.

Rudy came into the kitchen then. No matter how much he may have loved me, it was awkward between us. I avoided eye contact with him. From my peripheral vision, I could tell he was taking in the scene in front of him. In my mind, I begged him not to comment on the fact that Noah was being so kind, because it had nothing to do with my feelings for her. Thankfully, he didn’t. I was grateful for this small victory.

The others trickled into the kitchen slowly. Since it was Saturday, we didn’t have to rush to the studio. Instead, the seven of us sat around the kitchen table, planning out the weekend. The five of us didn’t have a lot of time left in England. I hoped our time would come to a cheerful end, but that was far from what happened.