In Our Dreams

2005 Aris was floating away again. Her fathers abuse had grown worse over time, and now she found herself floating away when it happened. Aris didn't mind. Floating was fun. She could go all over the house and even above it if she wanted to. She felt herself being drawn upwards like a balloon through the basement ceiling. She winced as she heard the crack of the belt expecting to feel pain but instead felt nothing. Floating was nice. She thought it was curious how, unlike a balloon, she would pass right through anything blocking her. She foubd herself slowly rising through the living room. She saw her baby sister Ella, crawling around her play pen, watching cartoons on the television. "Goodbye Ella, I'll be back." Aris shouted to her baby sister, who was innocently oblivious to what was transpiring around her. Aris floated out of the house completely today. She was five years old when this event had taken place. She had found herself now becoming quite frightened. Aris was not a typical little girl. Eventually, she will come to discover many talents and skills and will have lots of adventures ahead of her. Unfortunantly and also luckily today is the day she was nearly murdered by her father and saved by destiny. Aris now floating well above her home, could see the neighborhood beginning to spread out below her. Aris could not know, but the distance she traveled from her body was equal to the abuse she received. Today was a very bad day, and she floated very far away. Aris found herself crying as she continued to float off even further. Her panic rose as she did. Her house became a tiny blip without details as she could now see her school, the grocery store, and the library. She began to wish for home. Not from a shallow place where most of our emotions sit, but from the deepest depths of her soul. The place you cry from when something truly and profoundly tragic happens. She wished to be safe. She wished to be loved. She wished to be home. She wished for a feeling that she and most people had never known but felt could exist. A feeling like when her mother snuggled her up after a bath or her grandfather carried her to bed after an amazing but tiring day. A feeling like that but stronger, one that lasted, one that didn't fade. One that couldn't be taken away with a belt or word. Something she could always hold onto. She screamed out, all her feelings carried away, out into the world. Usually, Aris could tell when she was about to go back to her body. She would start to become aware of the pain her body was feeling, and she would be pulled back like an anchor being dragged, cutting through dense waters, compelled by a heavy rope that could not be seen, only felt. She would crash into herself like waves on a beach, discovering the pain of each injury, as she wandered up the basement stairs, returning to the world "disciplined." Now, she would be a "good girl" until her father decided she wasn't anymore. He actively sought to find fault in anything Aris did. She was his outlet, and her father was an important, untouchable appeals court judge, sitting just below the Supreme Court. He was generally viewed as respectable and generous. However, he was neither and in all actuality an intricate piece of a global human trafficking ring, grossing billions for the industry and millions for himself annually. Aris's father was a sick man with perverse desires, and the universe wanted him stopped. Aris wanted to be saved. The universe never misses an opportunity or a good drama. Aris now floating so high she could see her entire town cried out from her soul even louder, her scream echoed like a ripple over her neighborhood...and she was answered. Suddenly, Aris was being pulled back to her body at record speeds, like the snapback of a rubberband. She whizzed at her body, expecting to feel a heavy impact, but no! She felt herself spread onto her body like warm butter on toasted bread, dripping into its self....down, down, and down further until she felt like she was falling, not rising. She recalled the story Alice in Wonderland and thought this felt very much like the scene with the rabbit hole. Only she wasn't falling down a hole she was falling down herself. She didn't feel like herself either. She felt like a million tiny dripping pieces trickling down into a never-ending space. Aris tried to recall what it felt like to be a body. She tried to recall the limp feeling of her arm, the hot burning feeling of the cuts from the belt. She could feel for a moment that it was working and everything seemed to pause, until suddenly she felt herself not only moving downward but even quicker now. She began to see tiny little lights shimmering around her. The lights looked like stars in the distance that twinkled as she fell past. Aris, in this moment, had no way of knowing that her body was, in fact, dying. A small internal rip had occurred, a memory and trauma she is thankfully being spared from experiencing, and was slowly bleeding in a way that would infact cause her death if left untreated for very long. Aris did, however, begin to lose all sense of reality and was starting to feel quite safe and pleasant. A sense of peace and amazement had struck her suddenly, and she began to feel a bit more like she was again something. She unclenched her small little fists and was happily surprised to realize she had hands. She felt like she had arms and legs and even her body again. A warmth spread through her as she watched the stars and the heavens falling past her, or was she falling past them? She could no longer tell and no longer cared. Aris felt herself settling in a cool, soft, misty feeling as ambient light began to envelope the darkness around her. It grew lighter and lighter, and she found herself falling gently past two distinctly different moons, one having a bright, gleaming, blue hue and the other softer tones of rich gold. Before she knew it, a world was forming around her. She could feel a soft breeze and a deep rhythmic vibration all around. She saw clouds martirialize before her very eyes. She could see she was coming towards the ground, but she felt no fear as her feet gently landed on the warmest, softest sand she had ever felt. She could hear the gentle rhythm of slow waves caressing a welcoming beach. Her father was frantically calling his close friend and regular cohort Dr. Hart, not to save his daughter but to save himself, his career, and his future. He knew he had gone too far this time, and time was passing much too quickly for his liking. It was time to call in all his "favors." He threw his lifeless daughter over his should, clutching his phone as he climbed the stairs two at a time. Aris could smell the most amazing spices in the air. She felt she must be somewhere very far away, even though she realized somehow this was all existing deeply within herself. She watched as small delicate glowing birds in vibrant colors flitted and darted above the ocean water, with some diving down into the waters below to join their fellow mates. They blinked like fireflies in the night sky. Aris heard a symphony of chirps and trills, croaks, and calls, yet she felt no worry or concern, only curiosity as she spotted a boy sitting just a bit down the beach.