Falling For You

God had a plan for me. My entire life was charted out the way one views the stars. It was vast, impressive, and seemed as bright as the other archangels. God named me Azrael, "God's Angel". Originally, I was to be God’s right hand, but of course, he tired of my “cheerful disposition and whiny attitude” as he put it. I will admit I could be a bit of a “brat” when I didn’t get my way, but I was loyal to Him. I always wanted to be a part of his Big Plans. I constantly helped map out plans for the universe and beyond and, although I nagged and whined about a few of his plans, I would argue that I helped make things so much better than they previously were. I had helped to create many of the wonderful things that life on Earth needed to survive. I made beautiful creations that no other angel thought to create. I lived simply and enjoyed all of my work. My favorite creation was the waterfall. I loved how it always fell and never stopped. Maybe that was where my undoing began. Long before Samael’s fall, things were beginning to crumble, but I didn't want to believe that I too was destined for a similar fate. God’s wrath was barely being summoned when I began to notice him. Cassiel. The angel of temperance. His face put Samael, Gabriel, and Michael to shame in my eyes. He was so handsome. His body was sculpted to perfection and Cassiel’s eyes shone bright like the sun with warm hues of honey and amber. They were impossible to ignore and impossible to deny. When he asked things of me, I couldn’t say no. Those eyes begged me as a puppy begged a human. His jaw was sharp and his facial hair made him stand apart from the others. He was one of the few who kept facial hair, but his was dark, short, and always well trimmed. I likened it to Father’s. I would often tease him of trying to follow in Father’s footsteps, which often produced a deep frown line and scowl on his face. When I wasn’t teasing Cassiel, I was trying to stay on his good side. He made me happy and he always encouraged me. I knew he would praise me when I pleased him, so I always tried to please Cassiel. Whenever he asked for assistance on a project, I was right beside him. We were the best of friends for the longest time. I loved working with him. He always guided me in the right direction and made me feel as if I was capable. When we began working on the waters of Earth together, I was so excited. Our project was headed by Cassiel and I was second in command even though there were others who were much more qualified than I. I had been previously assigned to help create some of the stars, solar systems, and other such wonders. Perhaps God knew I had good leadership abilities and felt Earth needed my special touch. Cassiel was the exact opposite of me. I was too impulsive and followed my whims. Or at least I did until Cassiel scolded me. I was just so excited to be working on God’s most special of projects. I wanted to make it better than the other things I created and was hoping to please Father to gain his favor back. Recently, Father kept me out of any new creation plans, including the humans and some new things he liked to call “fate and free will”, whatever that was supposed to be. I was very distracted the day we were finishing up one of the oceans. When I accidentally created a tidal wave in the ocean we had been working on for months, Cassiel became stern. “Azrael, you are so careless in your creations! You were told to create some waves, not to drown innocent creatures”, Cassiel chastised. “Oh come now, Cassiel. Do you expect me to be as restrained as you!” I said, splashing at his robes. I laughed when he became flustered. “I only wish for you to follow Father’s orders as given. Don’t get yourself in trouble, or I’ll have to tell Him,” he murmured, brushing my red and black hair from my cheek. This made my heart flutter faster than my wings and I didn’t understand why. He was supposed to be my ‘brother’. How was it that I could feel such a thing? I didn’t know, but I was curious enough to continue insisting on spending as much time with him as I could. I splashed Cassiel again to help push these strange ideas out of my mind and heart. He smiled back and half-heartedly splashed at me, purposefully missing me. Then he ushered me toward the beach so that we could finish up the tidal rhythm. I felt his hand around my waist and couldn’t help but blush at his touch. When he released me, the absence of his touch felt like too much to bear. It was then that I felt her presence. I didn’t see her, but I felt eyes on me and realized someone had witnessed our entire encounter. I whispered to Cassiel that I had a few things to finish up on my own and that I would meet him where we were to begin the waterfalls. This, of course, angered Seraphina, but I wasn’t sure why. She was my best friend and although she was protective of me, her words hurt sometimes; she could be as harsh as Father’s wrath and her temper was just as fiery as her spirit. When she saw me begin to walk away from Cassiel, she stepped toward me and pulled me aside. She always insisted that I spent more time with her as I was her favorite angel. She always teased me and it was not always pleasant. This moment had been one of those times. “Azrael, do you like Cassiel?” I blushed at this comment. “Oh, you do!” “No. I don’t know what you mean,” I replied, trying to walk away from her, but she grabbed my hand and led me down the beach. “Don’t be silly, we both know that God has given us feelings, but I must warn you of him. You know he will never discuss personal matters with you. I’ve seen the way you look at him and you have to know he doesn’t return these feelings… He doesn’t care about you like I do,” she paused to formulate her next words in a way that didn’t seem very pure. I jumped in before she could continue, “The only feelings I have for him are the feelings of familial love. Just as I have for you, Seraphina.” Her eyes narrowed at this, “Azrael… Z, my sweet, we both know that we are able to feel all things just as humans. Father said it just the other day, don’t you remember?” “Yes, but he also said that we were above those basic things and we should not give into them,” I reminded her. “Yes, but I heard a rumor,” she got extremely close and whispered in my ear, “He is in love with another. He won’t admit it, but I think it’s someone God is planning on creating as a descendant for Adam and Eve. Although they probably won’t be around here for several hundred years, I know he’s been working with Father to create the next generation of the nasty creatures.” I shrank away from her with a weary expression, “We aren’t meant to fall in love. We all know this. Besides, I don’t love him like that if that’s what you are trying to imply, sister.” Seraphina’s face was smug, but upon the word sister she grimaced. There was nothing worse than making Seraphina upset, but I didn’t understand why she was displeased. Afterall, I had told her what she had wanted to hear, right? “I only mean to protect you, Z,” she murmured as she caressed my face, “You know I will always be here for you. I don’t want anything to happen to you… I just worry that you… You know Father is becoming angry with Samael. What would happen if Cassiel were to do something? Something terrible and unmentionable? If you got caught with Cassiel and you happened to be by his side participating in such terrible acts, you would be punished too.” The thought of being banished, or dare I think it, smitten by Father was absolutely terrifying, but I had done nothing to inspire God’s wrath. Or at least I hadn’t yet. “I won’t do anything to get on Father’s bad side. Besides, I don’t have feelings for Cassiel. If he gets in trouble like Samael, he is on his own,” I mumbled as I kicked at the sand under my feet. “I have to move along to an island a good flight from here. There is much work yet to be finished today. I’ll talk to you later tonight.” I opened my wings and propelled myself into the sky before Seraphina could make any remarks. She had been doing this a lot more lately and it was starting to trouble me. I was beginning to wonder if Father would be angry with me for being so attached to Cassiel, but at the same time, he created Adam and Lilith, and then Eve. They were able to love each other more intimately than siblings. Was it so wrong for me to feel so close to Cassiel? It’s not as if I would dare to cross the boundary Father had set, so really there was no harm.