DESPERATE HEROINES

CHAPTER 17: THE KNOCK

Wednesday.

Day 21.

I thought the worst part was over.

I was wrong.

It started with a knock.

3am.

Not a polite knock. A pounding. Like someone wanted the door to fall off.

Liam sat straight up in bed. "Mama?"

"I’m here baby." My voice was shaking but I kept it steady. "Go back to sleep."

Damian was on the couch. He was up before me. In sweatpants and nothing else, running to the door with his whole body tense.

"Who is it." Not a question. A demand.

"Open the door, Damian."

Richard.

His voice.

Damian didn’t open it. He looked through the peephole, then back at me. His jaw was tight.

"He’s drunk."

"Don’t," I whispered. "Don’t open it."

The pounding got louder.

"LILA. I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE. GIVE ME MY NEPHEW."

Liam started crying. Quiet at first, then not quiet.

"Shh shh," I pulled him to me. "It’s okay. He can’t come in. Okay? The police said he can’t."

Damian already had his phone out. 911.

"There’s a man violating a restraining order. 1845 Pine Street. Apartment 3B."

Richard kept yelling. "You think a piece of paper stops me? He’s a Hartley. He belongs with us."

Belongs.

Like Liam is a chair.

It took the police 6 minutes. It felt like 6 hours.

Two officers. Flashlights. Handcuffs.

Richard was screaming when they took him. "This isn’t over! You’ll regret this!"

I stood in the doorway with Liam in my arms, shaking so bad my teeth hurt.

One officer, a woman with kind eyes, looked at me. "Are you okay, ma’am?"

"No."

"Do you feel safe?"

"No."

She nodded. "We’ll file the report. And we’re recommending you get a security camera. Tonight."

After they left, the hallway was quiet again.

But the quiet was different now. It was broken.

####

We didn’t sleep.

Liam sat between us on the couch until 5am.

He kept asking, "Is he gone? Is he really gone?"

"Yes baby. He’s gone."

Damian made tea. Burned it. Made it again.

"I’m sorry," he said to me. "This is my fault."

"Don’t."

"It is. He’s my brother."

"And you’re the one who called the cops."

He didn’t answer.

At 6am I gave up and started getting ready for work.

My hands were still shaking.

I dropped my coffee mug. It shattered.

"Dammit."

Damian knelt and started picking up pieces.

"Leave it," I said.

"I’m not."

"You don’t have to—"

"I want to."

We cleaned in silence.

####

Work was hard.

Amina noticed.

"You look tired."

"Bad night."

"You don’t have to explain." She handed me a book to shelve. "Take it slow today."

I tried.

But every time the doorbell rang I flinched.

Every time my phone buzzed I checked to make sure it wasn’t Richard.

At lunch Ms. Nakato called.

"I heard."

"Yeah."

"I’m filing for an emergency extension on the restraining order. 2 years. And I’m requesting supervised visitation only, if the court ever allows him anything."

"Will it work?"

"It will. Judges hate this."

Hate this.

Right.

####

I got home at 5pm.

Damian was there. With a guy.

Tall. Holding a toolbox.

"This is Marco," Damian said. "He’s installing cameras. Today."

Three of them. Front door. Back door. Living room window.

$400.

Damian paid.

"I can’t pay you back," I said.

"You don’t have to."

We tested them. My phone now has an app that pings if there’s motion.

It felt like armor.

Liam thought it was cool. "It’s like a spy house!"

"Yeah," Damian said, forcing a smile. "Like a spy house."

####

Dinner was quiet.

Pizza again. Because it’s easy and because we’re tired.

Liam ate 2 slices then asked, "Can Dad sleep here tonight?"

Damian looked at me.

I looked at Liam.

His eyes were big. Scared.

"Yes," I said. "Yes he can."

So Damian stayed. Again.

We put on a movie. Something dumb. Animated.

Liam fell asleep halfway through, head in my lap.

After we moved him to bed, Damian and I sat on the floor.

Not talking.

Then he said it.

"I’m so sorry, Lila."

"Stop saying that."

"I should’ve known he’d do this."

"You didn’t."

"I should’ve."

I reached over and took his hand.

"Damian. You left. You came back. You fought. That’s all you can do."

He squeezed my hand back.

"Thank you."

"For what."

"For letting me stay."

####

Thursday.

Day 22.

I woke up to a text from Ms. Nakato.

`Emergency order granted. 2 years. He can’t come within 500 feet. Violation = jail.`

500 feet.

Jail.

I exhaled for what felt like the first time in 24 hours.

Damian was already up. Making breakfast.

"Good news?" he asked when he saw my face.

"Yeah."

We told Liam at breakfast.

"That means he can’t come here?"

"That means he can’t come anywhere near us," Damian said. Firm. "Ever."

Liam nodded. Then went back to his dinosaur pancakes.

####

The rest of the day was... normal.

And that was the weirdest part.

Normal felt foreign.

Going to work. Shelving books. Reading to kids.

Coming home. Cooking. Bath time. Bedtime story.

No calls.

No knocks.

No fear.

At 10pm Damian was on the couch. Again.

"Do you think it’s really over?" he asked.

"I think this part is."

"And the next part?"

"I don’t know."

He nodded.

"I’m scared to hope," I admitted.

"Me too."

"But I am anyway."

"Me too."

####

Friday.

Day 23.

One week until the case is fully sealed and we can officially breathe.

Nothing happened.

That was the whole story.

Nothing.

Liam had a good day at preschool.

I had a good day at the bookstore.

Damian came over with groceries.

We ate dinner on the floor.

We watched a show.

Liam fell asleep between us.

And when I lay in bed that night, I realized something.

I wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop.

For the first time in weeks, I was just... tired.

Normal tired.

Not trauma tired.

And that felt like winning.

*End of Chapter 17