I Swear I’m Not Falling

~CASSIE “I need you to sign this right now, Cassie.” Noah’s voice is clipped as he tosses two sheets of paper and a pen on the bed beside me. “What?” I say, sitting upright. We just finished having s*x. The bed is still warm, the sheets soaked with us. And he is already handing me papers like I am some business transaction he needs to wrap up before lunch. I push myself up on my elbows, clutching the sheet to my chest. My eyes squint at the documents. Bold header. Non-Disclosure Agreement. A cheque sits beneath it. I laugh. “Is this some kind of joke?” I ask, my throat raw from all the moaning and screaming I’d done just minutes ago. “Because there's no way you're actually serious right now, Noah Bennett.” He doesn’t reply. My heart starts beating faster—ugly, heavy thuds I can feel in my throat. He is serious. Deadass serious. I pick up the NDA, scanning the lines. The more I read, the colder I feel. I cannot tell a soul about us. Not a single word. If I do, the penalty is enough to make my stomach drop. I get that he wants to keep things low-key. I really do. From day one, he’s been clear about that. We act like strangers in public. I play the role of the slightly obsessed fangirl whenever anyone is watching. Behind closed doors, it feels real. He is good to me. Gentle. Attentive. Like I actually matter. At least, that is what I let myself believe. “We have been together for nine months, Noah,” I say slowly. “Why are you doing this to me?” “Just sign the f*****g papers, Cassie.” “Where the hell is this bullshit coming from?” I sit up straighter. “You were inside me five minutes ago. You looked at me like I was your everything. Or am I delusional?” “Delusional. Yes.” His tone is flat. Completely emotionless. “We’ve had our fun. It is time to face reality.” I stare at him, the words slamming into me one by one. For a second I can’t breathe. “Deadass?” My voice cracks. “You’re ending s**t between us right now?” “Ending s**t?” He laughs, finally turning to face me. “For the record, we were never a thing, Cassie. We were just f*****g. You enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Simple.” The room tilts. Everything I thought we had—none of it had been real? We never said “I love you,” but we were exclusive. At least… I thought we were. I gave him parts of myself I had never given anyone else. And now he stands there in his perfect clothes, in his ridiculous apartment, handing me a check and a legal document like I'm a problem he needs to make disappear. I stare at him. My throat tightens. Tears threaten to spill, but I hold them back. “Why are you handing me an NDA now?” I ask. “Don’t you think it’s a little too late?” He exhales like I’m exhausting him. “Cassie, come on. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be. You had to know this was never going anywhere serious. Look at you. Look at me.” “Answer the damn question, Noah.” He sighs, like I’m being difficult on purpose. “Tomorrow night, there’s a huge alumni gala with sponsors, scouts—people who really matter.” He finally looks up at me. “My family has spent months setting this up. The last thing I need is people asking why the Golden boy of Manchester University hockey team is showing up with some random scholarship girl from a nobody family who works at a beer bar.” “Oh.” My voice barely comes out. He lets out a short laugh. “C’mon, Cass. You should’ve known better.” My throat tightens. “You and I were never going to happen. Hell, even a ‘nobody’ would think twice before choosing you—you’re the girl people study with, not the girl they end up with. Just face it.” My stomach twists. He keeps going. “Madison’s been on my case for months. Head cheerleader. Our families already golf together. She fits my world. You’re good for this,” he gestures at the messy, c*m-stained bed. I feel sick. “So all this time… I was just your dirty little secret? The girl you f****d in private so nobody would know you were slumming it?” “Don’t act like you got nothing out of it. You got the chance to walk into my house. Most girls would kill for this. Just sign the NDA, cash the check and leave.” I want to lash out at him, call him every filthy name I can think of. But I know if I open my mouth, the tears will follow right behind it. I’m not about to give him the satisfaction of watching me break. So I swallow it all down, pick up the pen with a steady hand that didn’t match the storm inside me, and sign the damn f*****g NDA. Noah picks up the check and holds it out toward me like charity. “Take it. I know what kind of life you live.” I cut him off sharply. “You didn’t seem to care what kind of life I lived when you were f*****g me, Noah Bennett. If you’re ending this, you’ve got it already. What else is your problem?” For once, he looks caught off guard. Good. I force myself to stand, grabbing my clothes with shaking hands and getting dressed as fast as possible. “Congratulations,” I say coldly. “You and Madison will look perfect together.” By the time I reach Sabrina’s dorm thirty minutes later, my eyes are dry but puffy. She takes one look at me and frowns. “Ugh, you look wrecked.” I force a laugh and kick off my shoes. “Girl, please. I’m starving. Please tell me you have food.” Sabrina closes her laptop and studies me carefully. “Why do you look like somebody ran over a dog on the way here?” I rub my temples. The bar excuse is already on my tongue. “Bar stuff, Sab. My manager called before I came over. I’m just exhausted.” She snorts. “You need to quit that place, for real this time. It’s sucking the life out of you. Why not find something less draining that still pays a decent amount?” I raise an eyebrow. “Like?” Sabrina hesitates, chewing her bottom lips. “Uhm… You’re not gonna like the sound of this, but… you could tutor Liam Carter.” My eyes widen. The name hits like a slap. “Liam Carter?” I repeat, sitting up straighter. “That jerk? Hell f*****g no. I’d rather lick your foot, Sab, than tutor that asshole.” She snorts. “My foot is clean, at least.” “Not the point.” I start pacing. Liam Carter, the star athlete in the class and Noah’s biggest rival on the ice. Dude walks around like he owns the place. I guess he kind of does. All he has to do is snap his fingers and an eager girl appears at his side. Or jumps into his lap. Or sticks her tongue down his throat. A small smirk plays on Sabrina's lips. “The coach is threatening to bench him for the rest of the season if he doesn’t sort his grades. Manchester rules. No passes, no playing. Even for the captain of the championship-winning hockey team.” I stop pacing. “Wait. He’s actually failing?” “Oh, catastrophically.” That almost makes me smile. “Still not tutoring him,” I say firmly. “I’m done dealing with another entitled rich guy.” Sabrina’s eyes narrow slightly. “Okay… where’s this energy coming from?” “Nowhere.” She tosses me a bag of chips. “He pays ridiculously well though. Better than bar tips from drunk handsy idiots.” “Easy money always comes with strings, and I’m done letting rich boys pull them.” I rip open the chips and crunch loudly. Sabrina watches me for a second. “You sure you’re okay? This isn’t just about the bar, is it?” I shove another chip in my mouth. “It’s definitely ‘just’ the bar. Pass me those cookies. And stop trying to sell me to the enemy.” She laughs. “Liam’s not the enemy. He’s just… a lot.” “Same difference.” I stop by the apartment Noah rented for me to change into my work uniform. His words keep replaying in my head. My eyes are puffy from crying. Eventually, I drag myself to work, already exhausted before my shift even starts. “Cassie Brooks, you’re late!” Mr. Reynolds barks. “I’m just two minutes late,” I mutter, tying my apron. “Two minutes is forty customer complaints. Smile and move faster—you look like someone died.” I grit my teeth and start wiping down the counter while the bar buzzes with the typical Thursday-night chaos. My phone vibrates inside my apron. Noah: You have a week to move out of the apartment. Madison’s assistant needs it. My stomach drops. Of course he’s kicking me out—for her assistant. After dangling that place over my head for months. My chest tightens. No savings. Scholarship budget. Where the hell am I supposed to go? Enough. I call Sabrina with shaking hands. She answers. “You miss me already?” “Is the tutoring offer still available?” She bursts out laughing. “WAIT—what changed your mind, miss ‘I’d rather lick my foot’?” “Long story. Just… tell him I’ll do it.” Sabrina squeals. “Yesss! He’s loaded and desperate. Charge him at least eighty an hour, maybe even a hundred.” A shaky laugh escapes me. “Thank you, Sab. I love you.” “Whoa, slow down with the love declarations,”she teases. “You’re just doing this so you can steal glances at Noah more often, huh?” I freeze. “Uhm, no? Why would I—” “Because they’re half-brothers?” I nearly choke. “I’m sorry — what? half-brothers?” “Yes… you didn’t know?” Sabrina sounds genuinely shocked. “Huh. I just figured you did. It’s not exactly public knowledge, but I thought someone with a crush as big as yours would’ve dug it up.” I blink, trying to process. “Then how do you know?” “Elijah told me…duh.” Her voice turns playful. “I mean, you were practically Noah’s unofficial stalker. Guess I gave your detective skills too much credit.” All those months sneaking around, and Noah had never once mentioned Liam was his half-brother. Funny. I’d thought I knew everything about him. Turns out, I barely knew him at all. “I guess I didn’t,” I mumble. Pride screams no. But bills and homelessness scream louder. Sabrina laughs. “This just got interesting. You still in?” “Yeah. I’m in.” “Great, I’ll let Elijah know right away.” I hang up. Great. Freshly dumped by one brother. And now I’ve agreed to tutor the other. Fuck my life.