Hidden Desires 18+ Only

"Thank you." Said Jay jumping off the bus and readjusting their backpack while surveying their surroundings. Considering their mission of the day it was a beautiful day. The sky was pure blue with whispers of white clouds framing the Sun. It was Autumn so the trees we surrounded by a bed of firery reds and yellows created by the fallen leaves. Walking through the streets which used to be home, Jay took in the scenery around them and noticed how much had changed in the three years that they had last been there. What used to be bare empty buildings was now filled with people and new businesses. It now seems like a place filled with prosperity and high moral. As they carried on their walk they noticed their child hood home. Well some things never change, Sam still doesn't seem to know how to cut the grass for mom' they thought to themselves while looking at the garden shaking their head laughing internally. At least it looks like the flower beds have been well maintained. They walk to the pristine white door and took in a deep breath uncertain as to whether or not to knock. Jay dropped their head and looked at their black Converse and rubbed the back of their neck anxiety building up. 'Only one way to find out what sort of greeting I'm going to get I suppose.' They decided uncomfortably knocking on the door before they changed their mind. "Coming!" They heard from the other side of the door. Jay took the opportunity to smooth down their clothes as if to try to sooth the anxious feeling that had built up and run a hand though their hair still thinking that it was a bad idea going back. The door clicked, "Sorry about that I couldn't find the ke-" Jay looked up at the sound of their brother. "Jay?". Confusion and uncertainty was written all over Jay's brother's face. Jay nodded their head "Hi Sam..." They said fully expecting to get the door slammed shut in their face - only to be engulfed into a bone crushing hug from their older brother. Confused by what was going on, but not wanting to turn down the brotherly hug they was trapped inside, they wrapped their arms around Sam and started to feel a little bit more settled. "It's good to see you again. You've changed your hair it suits you." Sam said referring to the short back and sides with long, purple curls. Sam smiled releasing Jay only to be met with a confused look, " Come inside..." he said knowingly while pushing the door further to allow full access to the house. Jay just stayed in the same spot tilting their head. "Come on we'll talk inside, you know how nosey some people are around here." gesturing to move inside again. Jay slowly walked inside carrying their bag on their left shoulder holding it tightly with both hands. Looking around Jay was surprised that everything seemed the same as the moment they left. The walls still a light purple with pictures of them with their mom and brother scattered throughout -this shocked Jay they thought those would have been long gone-, black thick carpets with black furniture and dark purple curtains. Sam sat on the black leather sofa in the living room and motioned for Jay to sit down. Jay sat on the arm chair and popped their bag on the floor next to them. "Where's mom?" asked Jay looking around taking in the familiar smells and sights while making small talk. "Shopping... Look Jay the way things were left-" Jay cut him off by holding their hand up. "I know you and mom don't approve that's why I left..." Jay sighs and starts to stand up "This was a bad idea I shouldn't have come back-" Before Jay could get up and leave Sam was in the way with with anger and disappointment in his eyes but Jay also noticed something else there. Regret. "Please listen. Don't go." Sam asked pleading Jay. 'Who that for me or himself?' After searching their brother's eyes Jay sat back down wiping their hands down their face. "Go on then I'm listening." "I'm sorry for acting the way you did when you came out." he said looking at his hands, "I never meant to hurt you I just felt like I was loosing my little sister when you told us. At first, when you came out as Bi you know that I accepted it straight away, I know mom took longer to come to terms with it-" "Come to terms with it? She kicked me out for three months didn't speak to me in that whole duration!" Jay was getting visibility stressed. "I know I tried getting her to change her mind at that point, but, you know how stubborn she is..." Sam took a deep breath before carrying on. "Look I know the reason you left was because we really didn't handle your coming out as non-binary, and that we kept using your dead name and wrong pronouns' but at that point we really didn't think that you really knew what you identified as. It wasn't until I did research, after you left, that I realized how wrong I was. Mom took longer for it to sink in... But we tried to get hold of you. We rang, we wrote and asked your friends to pass it on." Sam was shaking and his green eyes was close to tears. Jay had never seen their brother like this but they didn't know what to do. "I needed you Sam." "I know. I also know that I don't deserve to call myself your brother but I would like to make it up to you." he told Jay with pleading, sorrow filled eyes. "I do forgive you. I just won't be able to forget. What about mom?" "What about me?" came from the doorway. Jay shot up standing at the sound of their mother's voice.