remember

I remember when we met at Glorietta Mall, In front of Jollibee. I was nervous waiting for you. Even though I already saw you, I don't want to come near you even though I've seen you. You are the one I've been waiting for to come to me. Then we walked around the mall together until we ended up at a clothing store. You bought me a skirt and two tops—one white with a black flower design, and a blue one that felt perfect for summer. I saw a dress and you asked if I liked it. I said yes, and you told me, “Next time, when you’re already my wife, I’ll buy you everything you want.” We went to look at some heels, but the pair I was looking for wasn’t there. After that, we took a taxi to your hotel. You were talking to the driver, but I wasn’t really listening. I was just looking around. When we arrived at your hotel, you read the Bible and asked if I was hungry. I nodded. You made a call and asked me to choose something from the menu. I picked cheesecake and mushroom soup, I forgot what else I ordered, those are the only I remember. I can’t recall the exact what happened. I was jumping on the bed, messaging my brother because they were looking for me. He even asked to borrow 100 pesos because they didn’t have food at home. You were talking to me, but all I could say was "yes" to everything. Did you know my brother posted about me on f*******:, saying I was missing? He even posted it on News!. We went to Rockwell Mall and bought a swimsuit. We ordered coffee and a frappé from Starbucks. Then we went to Firefly, swim, and ate. We ordered rice with egg, tomatoes, asparagus, and orange juice but the egg was undercooked and had a fishy taste. You were entertaining some women and told me to join them. I said no. You asked why, and I said they were paid women gold diggers like that. I told you that because I had already talked to them. They had boyfriends, but they were still looking for foreigners and flirting with other foreigners on the beach beds. You kept taking photos and videos of me, even though I was really shy. We went to the mall at night and bought heels from Call It Spring. I tried on a pair and liked the white ones that looked exactly like the ones I was looking for. I remember you asked me to wear the heals we bought, but I didn’t want to because I wasn’t comfortable and I felt shy. We went to the rooftop you said you didn’t know that area existed, and it was your first time there. I had seen people going up I'm curious so I want to go there. The next day, we went to the gym and had breakfast at the buffet. I took everything I wanted, while you ate little with coffee. I remember you got mad, and I suddenly started crying. You send me home, even though I didn’t want to. I said goodbye several times, but you didn’t seem to hear me. I stayed quiet because I was embarrassed in front of the driver and you were angry. That day made me really sad... The last time we met, I was with my friends. We went from MOA all the way to NAIA. You kept walking and walking, like you never got tired. I wasn’t feeling very well because I wasn’t used to the smell of the traffic and the smoke in the air and enclosed space. . You proposed to me, but I said no. I had so many things on my mind. I didn’t want what happened to you before—being scammed and abandoned by a woman—to happen again. I also kept thinking about the harsh words my mother said to you. I feel guilty about the decisions I have to make in life. I’m embarrassed in front of my friends They might make me up a story that isn't true. I don’t know if they’re real or if they only come to me when they need something. For the past few months, Andrea ignored me, then suddenly talked to me again because she needed help. She only pays attention when she wants to borrow something. Sometimes, they even talk about me behind my back. I told you that I didn’t want to be talked about or judged by people. I don’t want to be bullied or hurt by anyone’s words. You know, people here in the Philippines seem to have more time to bring others down than to take care of their own lives. I was disappointed because I saw you talking to someone on your phone. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t react. I just Observing silently. Sorry if I always Lost in thought or always spaced out